Idol Watch

American Idol Top 10 Girls

Tonight the 10 remaining Idol Girls compete, following a so-so Boys' Night. (Scroll down into the Top 10 Guys item to see video of the night's two best performances).

Bet the girls draw a bigger audience, if for no other reason than horny boys' interest in Antonella Barba after her nude photos swelled the Internet last week. She can't sing for beans but she'd get lots 'o dates.

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Gina Glocksen: No emotion, no life, self-conscious opening verse to Heart's 1987 hit Alone. Screechy chorus. Season 4's Carrie Underwood did this better, much as I hate to admit that.

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I wish Simon would start interrupting Paula and Randy when they speak the way they interrupt him. So rude.

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Alaina Alexander: Let's see, she loves, loves, loves her mother and dedicates her performance to her hard-working mom. Then she sings Not Ready to Make Nice! Clearly, she doesn't understand what this angry song is about.  This is what you sing when mom doesn't let you borrow the car for a date with the school hottie. It also means something when Natalie Maines sings it. Leave it for Natalie. As for the vocal, it was a mess. All over the place. Randy's right.

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LaKisha Jones: After hearing her Midnight Train to Georgia, and comparing it to Paris Bennett's firecracking rendition last season, I'm convinced LaKisha blew it last week by featuring her biggest song, And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going. She was on the mountaintop last week and then with this lackluster performance -- not to mention the unflattering, hideous outfit -- the fall and her lack of taste was stomach churning. Disappointing.

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Melinda Doolittle: Very classy vocal, love her personality. Much better than LaKisha. I can see her playing the finest concert halls. Best, by far, so far. Even if she's singing an old chestnut like My Funny Valentine Melinda put a fresh spin on it and, like Simon says, her demeanor is "a breath of fresh air."

Here's her performance:

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Antonella Barba: Couldn't resist posting the dirty Antonella pix (left) because, really, who wants to hear her sing? Celine Dion's Because You Loved Me was noxious when Celine sang it. Antonella can't sing a lick ... but again, those pix!

Snotty brat, too. Instead of taking criticism with grace, this tart had the nerve to tell Simon he was wrong about Jennifer Hudson. The American public voted Jennifer off Idol in season three because, on Idol, she really wasn't very good. Simon had nothing to do with that. And Antonella, you're no Hudson. You're not even Alaina Alexander. America, please vote this girl off so she can go back to doing what she does best (see pix).

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Jordin Sparks:From the slutty Antonella to the delightful personality of Jordin (altho I could do without the blubbering intro video). As for her performance, Christina Aguilera's music is so dreary, Reflections is just an unpleasant song. Jordin can sing, tho. Not her best vocal yet, but second best of the night so far behind Melinda. Incredibly likable 17-year-old. Go Jordin!

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Stephanie Edwards: All this fake love going on. Please. You're there to win, not make friends. I can't believe any of these girls, even sweet Stephanie and Jordin, want to be friends with Antonella.

As for Steph's performance, love her elegance, she's just great to look at in her gowns and her lovely figure. Decent voice. Not crazy about the Dangerously in Love song but she's just as good as Beyonce and she's Top 3 tonight so far.

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Leslie Hunt: Way too cabaret. After the interminible slow intro, had the song turned into a disco or dance number it might have worked for me. But it went cabaret kitsch, then into some oversung whatever.

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Haley Scarnato: Fell a bit off-key on Queen of the Night. Reminds me of last season's Katharine McPhee in a way. Another girl who doesn't really know who or what she is and just sings whatever without any real conviction or understanding. Not the worst of the night but not inspiring. Her fiance won't have to wait long for her to come home for the wedding.

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Sabrina Sloan: Tackling All The Man That I Need, Whitney Houston's greatest vocal performance, sets you up for failure. And Sabrina just can't compete with that song. She can sing, shouted a bit too much and not a big enough soulful voice, and she'll be back but this wasn't a goosebump performance.

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Overall week: Best performances of the week, in order: Melinda Doolittle,  Chris Richardson, Stephanie Edwards, Jordin Sparks and, in retrospect, Blake Lewis. Those are America's Top 5 Idols.

Here's predicting Antonella and either Alaina or Haley are the dumped girls Thursday and the guys getting the boot will probably be Sanjaya Malakar and Brandon Rogers since they were the two worst, joined closely by Nick Pedro in the bottom. 

Muzzle this woman

This is such an old complaint, six seasons' worth actually, but would someone please fire Paula Ab-dull and replace her with someone who can keep the gestures to a minimum and the inane comments to a minimum?

Or better yet, put her on the new show Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? Would be fun to watch the tykes run mental rings 'round her.

Top 10 Guys

Theme: Each contestant dedicates his performance to their hero(s):

Phil Stacey: Alternatingly lifeless and then Jon Secada-styled howling rendition of John Waite's melodramatic '80s pop hit Missing You. Paula can hear him "right now on the radio." Figures. Her taste in radio is as bad as her manners. Simon's right: "Karaoke singer." As for Ryan, let Simon judge and shut your pie hole.

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Jared Cotter: Dedicating Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On to your parents is kind of ... icky ... don'cha think? As for the performance, eh, ordinary. Oversung. Pitchy. All over the place. Would never have been a hit had this guy originated this song. I liked his comeback to Simon's Love Boat crack, though. Good looking guy but not much in the vocal department.

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A.J. Tabaldo: An improvement over last week, but A.J. reminds me of the other "initialed" males from Season 1: AJ, RJ, EJ etc. Not memorable vocally, lookswise, personalitywise.

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Sanjaya Malakar: Such a nice kid, but just no voice. Too young, probably. Steppin' Out (With My Baby) works when Tony Bennett sings it. Tony's stepped out with babes. I don't believe it when little Sanjaya warbles it. This may have cost him his place.

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Chris Sligh: Chris' wife is kinda hot. He's right, how'd he bag her? Tonight he sang Ray Lamontagne's Trouble relatively well, minus a slight pitch error here or there. Only problem is Taylor Hicks introduced this song to Idol viewers last year and even tho Chris sang it better than he did anything that reminds me of Taylor can't be good.

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Nick Pedro: Singing Fever. Can't anyone sing a song written in the last century? Gee, all these fusty musty old songs. It's hard to get excited about anyone singing Fever now, let alone this drab rendition. Cute girlfriend. She'll be happy to have him back cuz he's going home, along with Sanjaya, this week. (Unless Brandon, who was even worse, gets the boot sparing Nick for one more week).

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Blake Lewis: This was actually awful from a vocal sense. Surprisingly bad. However, just for doing a Jamiroquai song, a track written in the last decade, puts him way out front from the other boring guys. But this was the worst Jamiroquai karaoke ever! These guys really stink. Idol is supposed to get better each season, not revert back to the lameness of Season 1.

Here's video so you can re-evaluate it:

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Brandon Rogers: Sorry, Grandma. This Time After Time was endless. Sung with a mouth full of Novocaine. Bo-ring. And Brandon's harping on how he was "feeling it" is bogus. You can feel a song and still sing it well. I felt it alright, felt like falling asleep. And memo Bradon: You're on TV, dress for it. That ratty old T-shirt looked like crap. Probably worst of the night.

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Chris Richardson: Dedicated Geek in the Pink to his grandma. Must be one funky ol' lady. Whatever the case, Chris' hip hop-inspired vocals and edge makes him the most contemporary of all the males and, unlike Blake tonight, Chris sang it well. Good moves, good energy, finally an Idol contestant tonight who deserves to be a contestant. "Best by a mile," Simon said. Simon's right-on.

Here's video of the night's best performance:

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Sundance Head: I can't type the name "Sundance Head" with a straight face. I dunno, with a name like that I expect to see a bleached blond woman with a 40-inch chest and a leading role in a dirty movie.

Ahem, as to this Sundance Head, seems like a nice guy, should shave that glued-on goatee, and vocally delivers typical bar-band fare. You can hear this Mustang Sally in any bar U.S.A.

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Overall: Pretty lame show with the exception of Chris Richardson. Chris is the only guy I expect to see in the Top 5 come April.

Yahoo Buzz

Yahoo Buzz reports that Antonella Barba, one of this season's poorest performers, is the hottest Internet sensation of this season's cast thanks to a round of sexually provocative pictures that are making the rounds in the blogospheres and on Bastardly.Com. (See one of the more printable ones at left). Miss Barba may not know her way around a vocal mike but, uh, well, check out a series of alleged Barba photos and we may have found her special talent.

In a previous season Idol's moral police ditched contestant Frenchie for her topless photos on the web. Double standard here? Unlike Antonella, Frenchie had more going for her than titilating pix.

Idol Guest Stars

This season's American Idol guest star musical coaches include some current pop names (Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Lopez -- let's hope these two lousy singers are there to coach the kids on how to move on stage or develop an image, not on how to sing), someone for standards night (Tony Bennett), Bee Gees theme night (Barry Gibb), either a Motown or a love songs night to tie into her current CD (Diana Ross), country night (Martina McBride), Bon Jovi (oh God, a Bon Jovi night I fear?) and two names that will draw clueless stares from the young contestants: '60s vets Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits and Lulu. Former Idols Carrie Underwood and Kellie Pickler, the two country stars, are slated to follow last week's raspy Fantasia as guest performers.

What? No visit from last year's underperforming Idol winner Taylor Hicks (there is a God) or last year's biggest star Chris Daughtry who was featured in a very unflattering profile in the current Entertainment Weekly. According to the EW writer, seems Mr. Daughtry has copped an attitude and is singing the sickening Woe, Fame Sucks Blues.

Idol rejects

At this stage there are so many Idol contestants who need to get the boot -- and will get the boot no matter what to winnow down to the fortunate 12 -- it really doesn't matter who goes. The four that went -- Rudy, Amy, Nicole and Paul -- deserved to be cut and were. Next week we won't mourn the next four to go. In fact, the only ones I really like are Jordin, Chris R, Blake and LaKisha, so when one of those four gets cut way down the line will be the time to feel bad.

For LaKisha's sake, Finals Weeks can't come too soon. That's when the contestants get professional styling help. She's in desperate need. She's got the voice but she doesn't look like a star in the least.

Idol Camp

Just got this press release. Check out this edited version, Idol wannabes:

– FremantleMedia, co-producer and licensor of American Idol, in conjunction with show creator, 19 Entertainment, today announced the inception of Idol Camp, the first performing arts summer camp for kids between the ages of 12-15 based on the television show. Born out of the desire to foster passion and creativity in young teens, Idol Camp will be a non-competitive training ground for America’s future stars. Teachers, guest artists and former Idol performers will be on hand. Daily instruction will also be provided in a variety of classes from singing, dancing and acting to song writing and audition techniques as well as traditional camp activities such as swimming and field sports. Idol Camp is located on a picturesque campus in Northfield, Massachusetts and acceptance into the camp is based on limited enrollment and applicants demonstrating enthusiasm, dedication, a desire to perform and a passion for the arts. In addition, FremantleMedia and 19 Entertainment will reward a certain percentage of students with fully paid scholarships based on financial need in an effort to reach a wide range of the country’s most eager performers.

Starting today, anyone interested in learning more about Idol Camp including sample class schedules and how to apply on-line for the 2007 summer sessions can visit the official American Idol website.  You don't have to audition and you are NOT guaranteed anything.

Girls' Night Out

Ten minutes in and this show still hasn't started. Must we get a recap of the guys? Once a week looking at that fat curly haired loser Chris Sligh who looks like one of those 25-year-old virgins you see in line at Star Wars premieres is once a week too much. And Ryan baiting Simon again? Jeez....this is boring. Too many commercials, too.

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Stephanie Edwards: First up. She's getting the show off to a better start than the guys did. Some good parts, some not so good vocally.

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Amy Krebs: I Can't Make You Love Me she sang. She's right. She can't. Wholly uneventful. This was sung much better on this season's Nashville Star by Angela Hacker who sang it as if she has had the experience. As Simon said, she's "this thing that sings." Forgettable.

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Leslie Hunt: Middle of the road Natural Woman. Attractive, tho. With training she'll improve.

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Sabrina Sloan: Not bad. Finally someone's come to win. Not necessarily the type of voice I'd run and buy on CD but she did do Aretha justice, more or less.

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Antonella Barba: Off key warbling of Aerosmith's all-time worst song I Don't Want to Miss a Thing.  She's not going to make it beyond this week.

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Jordin Sparks: Best personality of the night -- maybe of the entire cast this season. I also liked that she sang a Tracy Chapman song, not the usual fare for Idol. Give Me One Reason she sang. I'll give you two reasons she's the best so far: Randy wanted a "bigger" song but we've had enough blustery ballads from these kids. She picked something lively she could have fun with. Reason two: this high school junior has a good voice and she's a natural. That's three reasons. By far the best so far.

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Nicole Tranquilo: From the natural Jordin to this fake. A white chick making she's like Chaka Khan. Forced, screechy, out of tune. A disaster. Be who you are, babe. Bet she's snotty backstage too. Something rubs me wrong with this one. Of course Paula liked it but Paula's brain dead.

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Haley Scarnato: Probably the most "musical" voice of the bunch. Broadway-ish. No wow factor, though. Maybe we've just heard this Celine song too often. But, technically, she has the best voice. Sounds trained. Moms will go for her.

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Melinda Doolittle: Classic soul voice. The kind of engaging, positive personality you want to champion, too. Her lack of arrogance and sheer delight at graduating from background singer to front position gives her a major edge in this competition. With 30 minutes left and three singers to go she and Jordin are tops.

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Alaina Alexander: She looks like a young Mariah Carey and has the gumption to attempt The Pretenders' Brass in Pocket. Chrissie Hynde would slap her. Pitchy, wispy voice. It was like watching a little girl playing dress-up in her mom's closet. When you sing a pop/punk song with the repeated lyric "I'm special" you'd better be. She'll be among the first to be voted off and if she's not she owes it all to her looks. They won't carry her far in this competition.

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Gina Glocksen: Sang Eric Carmen's 1975 hit All By Myself. Another old, depressing song. Chose Celine Dion's overblown arrangement. Heard this kind of competent, big-voiced, performance on Idol every year. Powerful voice but we've heard it all before.

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LaKisha Jones: Singing the Dreamgirls' showstopper And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going made Jennifer Holliday a star (alas, for a brief moment) in 1981. It's going to give Jennifer Hudson an Oscar Sunday we bet. And LaKisha sang it just as well as both of them. Vocally, she's in a league far beyond anyone in this competition. The only problem is where will LaKisha go from here? Starting with a bravura number like And I Am Telling You was certainly calculating but it may have been a bad tactical move. Perhaps she should have saved this one for when she really needs it, on finale night. It'll be interesting to hear her on theme nights to see if she has a range beyond huge numbers like this one.

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Overall: LaKisha has the kind of voice Idol was created for. Jordin has the best personality and can sing well. Both stood out tonight. The girls as a whole were marginally better than the guys -- not a hard task -- but at this stage I haven't heard anyone who has blown me away the way teenaged Paris Bennett did at this stage of the competition last season. And is there a star like Chris Daughtry in the midst? Not seeing it yet. At least no one is as annoyingly gimmicky as Taylor Hicks, last year's winner who has basically amounted to a whole lot of nothing thus far.

Florida Marlins bring Idols to town

The Florida Marlins, in an effort to boost attendance at home games, has created Super Saturdays events, highlighted by a post-game concert. Of interest to American Idol fans: the April 7 concert features Idol finalists Nadia Turner (from Miami), the ever-smiling Ace Young, the golden-voiced Anthony Fedorov, Mandisa (she prays for gay people) and Jessica Sierra (can't quite remember her).

Admission is free with game day ticket. Info: Florida Marlins website or call 1-877-MARLINS.

Ryan Seacrest Shaddup

I wish Ryan Seacrest would shut up. "Why are you being so negative tonight," he whined at show's end to Simon. Uh, Ryan, Simon's negative because 10 out of 12 guys stunk up the stage with boring, bad performances. Simon's supposed to judge. That's what he did. Just announce commercial breaks and  keep quiet the rest of the time.