American Idol Big Band Night: Adam Lambert drowns competition

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Word has it six out of the top 10 best-selling songs on iTunes Idol list belong to Adam Lambert. Bet it'll be seven after tonight's big band/Rat Pack themed show...Let's see...

To get standards across you have to have more than the ability to sing in tune. You have to have lived and be able to make these shop-worn tunes and lyrics believable. Kris Allen lacks the gravity or charisma or talent to sell standards. Three of the judges were clearly inhaling happy gas when they gushed over Kris' feckless and cloying on The Way You Look Tonight. Only Simon, who called his performance "wet' like a "puppy," seems to understand what standards should sound like. Kris is fast becoming the most boring of the remaining five.

Wheras G-rated vanilla boy Kris was totally not believable and lifeless on his standard, 16-year-old Allison Iraheta managed to be original and believable when she sang the anguished Someone to Watch Over Me. You felt every word she sang. Was emotional and raw and earned the judge's praises (except for Simon who felt it was mechanical). I feared she'd be most likely to be voted off with this theme, but she certainly deserves to sail through over her competitors. However, to earn points with voters she might have been better off picking something livelier, much like Kelly Clarkson's Idol-defining big band performance of Stuff Like That There seven years ago.

These Idol boys are the wimpiest bunch we've seen on Idol yet. Matt Giraud is yet another crushing bore who sank the tempo of My Funny Valentine in sugary quicksand. Like Kris, a total snoozer who was not connected to the song and had not a hint of believablility. Simon and I disagree yet again tonight. This one he liked, daring to equate the phrasing with Nat King Cole's. Absurd.

Now we come to Danny Hokey (and I mean the typo)...and once again he has no voice in lower range and compensates with blustery bellowing ala Taylor Hicks at the song's conclusion. In addition, he has no sex appeal whatsoever. His Come Rain or Come Shine was all wet. And Kara is useless and dumb. She goes on and on about Danny's swagger. What swagger? Pasty doughboy sang the whole song with a goofy smile and no edge whatsoever.

Why don't the other contestants just quit? Go away? Give it up. Because Adam Lambert didn't even have to sing a note to send them all scampering home. His dramatic entrance alone showcased a performer who knows how to work a stage, sell a song, connect to a crowd and entertain. And then he did something he didn't even have to do at this point, he sang. And sang the hell out of Feeling Good flawlessly. This is why I watch American Idol (beyond having to for work, mind you). I watch for moments that are at a level you can't find in any bar or karaoke stage USA. Everyone else tonight was substandard karaoke bar (with the possible exception of Allison). Adam was and is a star. He knows more about music than anyone else. He picks songs that are left of center instead of the middle of the road (as did everyone else tonight) and he makes them sound brand new. (He supposedly sang Muse's arrangement of this tune, I'm more familiar with Michael Buble's recent recording but no matter, it's Adam's now). Four stars.

Predictions: Kris Allen was the worst tonight,even moreso than Danny. I'd send him back to the Disney set where Hannah Montana will beat him up on the playground. But I fear Allison or Matt will bring up the bottom two with voters and that it will be close. Matt will likely get the boot.

And as critical as I've been with the decision to hire Jamie Foxx as guest mentor, I'll give him props for his work. He did a decent job trying to work with this weak lineup and had some astute suggestions. It's not his fault that only Adam and Allison have the good to work with.

Comments

[Lesley Abravanel]

Paula looks like she is wearing a prom dress..and enough with Adam already, all of you! Let him get booted and move on to his highly hailed career already!

[lesley]

as i tweeted to ryan seacrest, jamie foxx as mentor on this night makes as much sense as john tesh on rock night..

[lesley]

i loves me kris allen. he must never record with jamie foxx, however.

[MrEvans]

I was looking for Frank Sinatra, Jr. to follow up on his Family Guy appearance.

[gail]

My music man friend, Jamie Foxx has been making a name for himself in music for the past year or so. My memory is shot but I believe he nailed a role in a movie singing.

Wow Kris (reminds me of Jason Castro :)) did a really nice job on that song.

Heyyyy all, Happy Tues. Mothers day is May 10 buy flowers :)

[lesley]

HoCo: off subject but how do you RT on Twitter?

[lesley]

howard, we SO disagree. i think kris is fantastic, not to mention adorable!

[MrEvans]

Allison asked before the show "Is Janis Joplin considered big band?"

[Lane]

I'm here, just got back from the doggy hospital, Favor has pneumonia :(

[lesley]

mr. evans, ha! janis joplin!
lane, i hope doggy has a speedy recovery

i still like allison and kris ten times more than adam...

[gail]

OOps speet reading on the original Jamie Fox blog. Sorry.

Sorry your Favor is sick Lane.
Allison actually sounds really good tonight.

Fave standards redone...ROD STEWART...loved him.

[HoCo]

Either cut and paste the message you want to resend and add the initials RT before it and hit Send or, if using an iPhone app like Twitterfon, just click on the Retweet button and you dont have to then add RT before it as it automatically comes.
Meantime, Kris put me to sleep with his tedious performance. How might I stay awake for another 40 minutes after that bad start?

[lesley]

thanks hoco. why dont they have an automatic RT function on twitter, i wonder?

LOVE Kris. Loved Allison. This genre is doing them good, I think.

seems like the only one simon thinks can win is adam..good for allison to say they all have a chance..

[gail]

Go back and watch Kris again maybe the second time will help you stay awake! :)

[HoCo]

Kris has no personality, no weight, he's cute and could work on Hannah Montana as the boyfriend but he has no gravity or life in him. Crushing bore. No charisma. Total bore.

[lesley]

hoco, he wants you to like him so badly that matt covered his forehead for you tonight.

[Lane]

Mr. Evans, can we get Animal Hospitals indicted with the RICO act?

[Ladybug9]

Should this genre be "standards" instead of "rat pack"?

[lesley]

matt is okay. not great at all. i expected better. meh.

[MrEvans]

It's a racket alright... Matt is bad.

[MrEvans]

Did anyone see the interview Paula gave this week where she accused the producers of her reality show of doctoring the footage to make her look crazy?

[MrEvans]

That's the first time in a LONG time Mrs. Evans and I disagreed with Simon. He was not good at all.

[gail]

"Kris has no personality, no weight, he's cute and could work on Hannah Montana as the boyfriend but he has no gravity or life in him. Crushing bore. No charisma. Total bore."

This is my favorite part of your personality...you're such an introvert.

[lesley]

mr evans, simon is on crack tonight. he slammed kris and allison and calls boring pitchy matt brilliant?

[MrEvans]

Kirk Douglas looks good in this new movie... oh wait, that's Michael.

[HoCo]

If I'm to be shy and introverted and mousy I can't do my job. Ditto these Idol boys. Wish they (except for Adam) weren't such introverted little weenies. A 16 year old girl just kicked their butts across the stage.

[gail]

Geeeeeez, I was skeered thought I was the only one that thought Matt stunk. Can't wait to see what Adam brings.

[MrEvans]

I've never seen an Oscar winner name-drop before. Michael Mann?

[gail]

Gokey is overrated big time.

[lesley]

hoco, i know you hate danny and think he isnt good looking but he looks great tonight...

[lesley]

i didnt mind danny tonight. not bad at all. sounded like a bar singer in new orleans. good times. pass the sazerac.

[MrEvans]

Danny brought it at the end.

[lesley]

but paula, can you spell 'stellar'?

[gail]

Yeah Allison did kick their collective butts.
Danny is not so hot. The judges are hearing different music than I am! I still think you need to relisten to Kris.

[Ladybug9]

and awaaay we go!

[lesley]

Kara is useless and dumb.

first thing i agree with you on all night HoCo!

[lesley]

i may have to watch this show, Glee.
I sure do miss my days in high school chorus making fun of idina menzel for oversinging.

[HoCo]

I'm not going to relisten to Kris because there is nothing there for me to see. I know standards. I know what to look for and this cute little Disney boy doesn't have what it takes to sing weighty standards. There is nothing to gain to push bland Kris on me. I recommend you grab a Sinatra album, preferably one from the 50s or 60s when he'd ached and put those feeling into pop songs and you'll really hear how to get across songs of love and hurt and longing and loneliness. Kris sang with all the emotion of Tweetie bird when given a worm.

[lesley]

did anyone else do a dramatic descent from the stairs like adam did?

[MrEvans]

Hello Frisco!

So campy...

[lesley]

adam goes campy cabaret for a change. belongs in rocky horror.

[Lane]

they are going to run over again

[lesley]

kara for a change was spot on when she called adam lambert's performance sleazy

[Lane]

in related news, Michael Phelps just slit his wrists

[lesley]

lane, i think phelps's girlfriend Miss California slit his wrists for him!

[gail]

Dear Mr. Hoco,
I know a new singer/songwriter who has a whole new dimension on how to feel a song. Maybe someday I will be able to convince you to give a listen.
Back to AI. Adam is toooo dramatic and theatrical. Not so impressed this week. I think Ring of Fire was his best song of all.

Allison won tonight.

Sleep well!

[HoCo]

I like Allison second best but I'm afraid America isn't sold on her as well because she's always in the bottom and her luck's bound to run out. Kris was easily the weakest of the night but he'll get another week. I hope Allison isn't booted.
As for Adam, theater or not, it's standards and some of these songs come from the theater so it's fine to act them out tonight. That's the point. He wins. No competition. It's like putting Michael Phelps up against the star student in Mommy and Me swim lessons in a 100 meter fly race.
Gnight all. See you tomorrow.

[real]

All you Adam haters just hate cuz he's great. If Gokey stops the love songs for his wife(sorry but enough is enough)maybe I can tolerate him. Alison is good enough to get by but will probably go home. Matt sucks, was my sleeper pick but now just puts me to sleep. Kris is o.k. just starting to get boring. They stick Adam at the end of the show so viewers keep watching. Who cares that he's theatrical, listen, don't watch and he by far has the best vocals

[real]

Judges need to shut up, Kara sit up straight, and stop looking like a beaver. Randy, really how old are you? Stop the yo's and check it out's and dog's....for god's sakes stop!! Paula... use extemely short phrases, if your able try sentence form. Simon's cool, change up the seating arrangements, it's getting old. Might be the last year we watch Idol.... even my 11 year old is tired of watching... seriously the talent is way off, Adam is the only reason people watch.

[Squiddo]

Great songs make for great Idol Shows. BUT... Chris massacred TWYLT. Alison sang great, but doesn't have maturity for that song (Like Kathleen did - was that her name?) MFV is such a great song, it made me think Matt was better than he was. OMG, Gokey, what are you doing to that song! Isn't Come Rain, Come Shine supposed to SWING???

Adam- OK. My big worry: what will he sound like singing the syrupy song written for the finalists?