Idol didn't make it back to Miami -- but the judges and Randy managed to hit our city before catching a flight to Orlando to join guest judge Kristen Chenoweth (Broadway, Glee.) We were warned from the getgo things could be a bit rough. The boys partied a bit much in Miami and might be a bit hungover.
But it was the girls -- Kara DioGuardi and Kristen -- who acted like they raided the hotel mini bar. They bonded like BFFs to giggle a lot, drive Simon batty and otherwise contribute little intellect to the first 30 minutes -- especially Kristen. She was gone by the show's second half and we hardly noticed she was missing. So far, only last night's Shania Twain has this guest judging thing down.
Those hoping Chenoweth would drag along some Glee-worthy vocalists she'd found lurking on the Fox set would have to settle for one by my count. Jermaine Purifoy, a season 7 reject, returned with a voice both pure and assured. Lovely tone and a welcome addition to Hollywood week. He sang Smile. I was smiling.
Seth Rollins, Matt Lawrence and Shelby Dressel brought as assortment of hard-luck tales to the stage -- in order: money woes and a son with autism, a conviction for robbing a bank 10 years ago, and a birth defect. Yet all three could sing, too, and managed a Golden Ticket to Hollywood, though I'm not saving up yet to buy any of their resulting CDs just yet.
Matt, especially, was overpraised. Taylor Hicks also sang Ray Lamontagne's Trouble during Season 5 and did a better job at it, singing with more range. Perhaps the judges were swayed by Matt's story. "I robbed a bank with a BB gun when I was 15. ... I never saw my dad cry before that time,'' he said in a video report. Tears of joy, now, one supposes. I'm afraid if he wins he'll sing Hicks' Do I Make You Proud.
Orlando also offered an Idol contestant who was ushered out of the hotel in handcuffs. Was Jarrod Durell, who Kara said sings like a lawnmower, that bad? Well, he sang Amazing Grace and even Grace wouldn't save a wretch like him. Dude sang a bit like Kurt Cobain -- post-suicide. When he wouldn't leave -- or stop singing -- security not only hauled his bony butt out the door but put him down on the ground and hustled him out in handcuffs. Whoa.
Miami's Jay Stone, 25, made an impression when he earned yes' from a delighted Kara and on-the-edge Randy, but his cockiness bugged me and his beat boxing was ridiculous. Jay can sing OK when he drops the spitting and sputtering, in the little clip we saw, but not out of the ordinary great. At least, not so that we could tell given all the sound effects.
How hot and original is beat boxing? Apparently not very since the judges couldn't even remember the name of Idol's last beat boxer who wound up in runner-up position three season ago and who quickly saw his major label deal evaporate faster than you can say Taylor Hicks (and, we're soon betting, Kris Allen.) But Jay was nonplussed, saying, more or less, "I can do something Blake Lewis didn't do, sing and beatbox at the same time." Wow. Say it, don't spray it, pal. My TV screen needed a rag after that soggy audition.
Also close to home, Brittany Starr James from Coral Springs hopes to live up to her middle name. We didn't see quite enough of her audition but she earned a trip to Hollywood.
And two sisters charmed the judges. One looked like a bit like Mariah Carey. The other, Eva Longoria after a long day on the Desperate Housewives set. Mariah, I think, was better, altho Eva chose the tougher song.
All 'n' all, Orlando topped the dismal Chicago and, handcuffs aside or the Boynton Beach guy (Cornelius Edwards) who got a ticket to Hollywood solely because he split his pants and found his parts on the ground. The judges were probably afraid of what he might reveal if they made him mad, tonight's auditions were season's best so far.
The night also brought out one good dismissal from Simon who has been pretty tame thus far: "You walked in like a cocktail stick and sang like you sat on a cat."
Follow on Twitter @http://twitter.com/HowardCohen
