American Idol Meets Miley

Theme: Billboard No. 1s

Guest Mentor: Miley Cyrus

Blogging live and on Twitter. Away we go...

Again, peeps, the goal for these contestants is to become a pop superstar and connect with fans. It's not for them to sing as well as Barbra Streisand or Tony Bennett because none of them ever will. Miley Cyrus is here to help these kids learn how to move on a stage and connect, things she has proven to be quite good at.

And she already showed some value by loosening up Lee Dewyze a bit. Every week this nervous nellie has had the stage presence of lettuce. Tonight, she helped him graduate a bit ... to the arugula basket. He's still hopeless as a star but he was better. But I agree with Simon. The Box Tops' The Letter is a great 60s pop song and nice way to pay tribute to its singer, Alex Chilton, who died last week. But it's not contemporary or exciting.

After Miley warned Paige Miles to watch out for her pitch, it took the girl just three words into Phil Collins' 1984 No. 1 Against All Odds to swerve off-key and she never recovered. Dreary and depressing. Say goodbye to the Idol tour, sweetie. Shame, because I was hoping not to have to sit through Andrew Garcia on the summer tour.

Tim Urban got a bum deal from these wack judges. First, they put through kids with no voices and then blast them when they can't sing well. Then they saddle them with stupid, dated theme weeks and blast them for song choices. Billboard No. 1s? Come on, Idol. What teenager reads or gives a damn about Billboard? Tim didn't sing Queen's 1980 No. 1 Crazy Little Thing Called Love well but he delivered the only thing tonight that felt like a performance. And to blast him for looking like he was auditioning for High School Music is lame criticism. No one on the High School Musical cast can sing but Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are reaching the masses, which is what these Idols are after -- and few attain. If the goal is to get people to vote, Tim is the only one so far who will achieve that.

Aaron Kelly has laryngitis and tonsilitis and whatever else one can get in the throat and yet he still outsings all of those who came before him -- and infuses his performance with charm. He also makes a cute couple with Miley.

Crystal Bowersox finally washed her hair, which is more of a feat than her predictably accomplished take on Janis Joplin's 1971 posthumous No. 1 single, Me and Bobbie McGee.

Mike Lynche knows how to "love a woman" with his oldie R&B numbers but we've seen these ancient oldies over and over on Idol. He sang well but as Simon used to say, "So what?" And now we have to sit through charmless Andrew Garcia singing Motown? Are these kids competing to win American Bandstand or American Idol in 2010? Aren't there any newer No. 1s?

Can someone call a locksmith? Andrew Garcia lost the key again. This guy has the least musical voice of any Idol contestant to date. Bad as Paige was, she'd be better on the tour. Don't know why anyone would dial a phone for this guy.

Props to country club cutie Katie Stevens for singing the first song written this century on a stodgy Idol. (Not that Fergie has to worry about being upstaged, because Katie's Big Girls Don't Cry wasn't especially good vocally. But at least it was somewhat suitable.)

Best moment of the night. When Casey James meets Miley Cyrus and says, "I'm a big fan of your ... dad's." Hilarious, well-placed pause there, dude. He then followed with a perfect Huey Lewis impersonation on 1985's Power of Love. Vocally, this was Casey's best of the season. And while he is a fine guitarist, he needs to ditch his instrument. It's become a crutch for him to hide behind and he's not working the stage like he needs to now. There is no need for guitar on this Back to the Future pop tune.

Didi Benami, more than any other, knows how to work the cameras. She's perfect for TV. Can't take my eyes off her as she slinks around the stage and melts the cameras and instruments with her come-hither looks. Vocally, she was less so appealing on the old Linda Ronstadt hit. Not quite "You're no good" but not nearly the vocal equivalent of Ronstadt or anyone else who has recorded this old song. (Well, maybe as good as David Lee Roth but ...)

 
 
Siobhan Magnus crushin' on Miley in coaching session was cute. She brings it to Stevie Wonder's Superstition too. She's THE star this season.

Prediction: Paige and Andrew and Tim Urban wind up in the bottom three. America's 12 year olds aren't going to allow Tim to miss out on the tour. Technically, Paige delivered the most defeated performance, she seemed to deflate and gave up. But Andrew has the worst voice of any contestant and hasn't the remotest chance of ever becoming a pop star. There's no potential whatsoever there. So with Paige and Andrew almost certain bottom twos, I sure hope America gets it right and sends Andrew packing in 11th place, out of the Top 10 tour. But I've a nagging feeling it's gonna be Paige. And the strange thing is I don't think she really cares. She's a better singer than that.

Download This: If you're to download one audio performance, just for listening, it's Crystal's Janis cover. That's the one that will stand up to repeat listens the best.

As for Miley, she did a fine job coaching. Her advice was astute and while it's fitting sport to take pot shots at her, the negative nebobs have it wrong.

Comments

[Lesley]

Watching Miley Cyrus tell people with good voices how to sing is like watching Kirstie Alley tell skinny girls to diet.

[Ladybugnine]

Hee!

[Lesley]

hello ladybugnine and hello hair extensions!

[Ladybugnine]

Those are crazy!

[Lesley]

This is not a great song at all. Yuck.

[Lesley]

He's screaming here. Terrible.

[Ladybugnine]

weird choice.

[Ladybugnine]

What's this touchy-feely crap between Simon and Kara?

[Lesley]

Lee's performance was reminiscent of Taylor Swift. And for you, HoCo, that's not a good thing. Me too in this case.

[Lesley]

Kara is trying way too hard for some controversy or something remotely, vaguely Paula-esque. It's not working. she's just annoying. At least Paula was ridiculous and annoying.

[HoCo]

There's a huge part like the Red Sea between Kara and Ellen. Kara's been leaning so close to Simon there's a huge gap on that judge's booth.
Lee's lousy...Taylor Swift can't sing in tune but she can certainly perform.

[Lesley]

OMG, HoCo, I meant to say Taylor HICKS, not Swift! hahahahah.

[Ladybugnine]

Oof-- bad notes everywhere.

[Lesley]

Take a look at Paige now, because next week there'll just be an empty space. She bought herself a ticket home w this one. Ooof.

[Ladybugnine]

Lesley-- Twin "oofs"!

[Lesley]

Ladyb: ahahahahaha! GMTA!

[Lesley]

and memo to Ellen: we don't need someone to ramble and accentuate nonsensical positives. this is a singing competition so either critique the music or go dance on your own show. (this coming from a HUGE fan of Ellen's, btw)

[Lesley]

Howard---we still have TUrban and Andrew Garcia to be worse than Paige! Don't fret yet..it could happen!

[HoCo]

I hate to say something positive about Taylor Hicks or I get his one or two fans all excited, but compared to most of these 11 kids, Taylor excels. At least Taylor looked like he WANTED to perform and entertain. He was goofy and sometimes offputting, but compared to dullards like Lee or most of the nontalents this season, gotta say Taylor's looking a bit better.
Don't get excited Soul Patrol. That's NOT a ringing endorsement.

[Caitiesnanny]

Awwwwww, Paige's performance was just awful. I felt so bad for her. On the other hand Lee was awesome.

[Ladybugnine]

Good Lord, TUrban singing Queen?!? Where's Pat Boone!

[Lesley]

Karaoke. Cruise Ship. Disney World. Flea Market. Brutality, TUrban. As Lane says, Freddie Mercury is rolling over in Rock Hudson's grave. Triple, quadruple OOOF>

[Ladybugnine]

Isn't it funny hearing him sing, "gotta be cool, relaxed, get hip"?

[Caitiesnanny]

Tim's performance was ok. Didn't knock my socks off but just ok

[Caitiesnanny]

Kara is annoying as heck. Why doesn't she just jump in Simon's lap and get it over with.

[Lesley]

as much as I despised Tim's performance, Kara saying he acted like he 'already made it' is hypocritical and lame. At least he tried to make an effort.

[Ladybugnine]

It's called puberty!

[Lesley]

--a few things: Aaron crushing on Miley? Ummm, sure.
--Miley's outfit is wrong on so many levels.
--Aaron, WITH laryngitis sings circles around everyone so far, Miley included.

[Caitiesnanny]

The kid is sick and he's doing ok

[Caitiesnanny]

His look reminds me of Edward Norton

[Lesley]

Spot on Caitiesnnanny!

and OMG, Crystal better pull this Janis Joplin song (MY FAVE) off...please please please..

[Lesley]

There's no competition w/ Crystal. OMG times ten. In a league of her own. Even brought some of Janis's grit despite the fact that she cleaned the song up a bit, if you will.

[Ladybugnine]

Brava.

[Caitiesnanny]

I'm not crazy about her but I gotta give her props that was great

[Lesley]

Green Mile is very good. Excellent, in fact. But doesn't excite me.

[Lesley]

For once I agree w/Kara on Big Mike (Green Mile)

[Caitiesnanny]

Kara is so over dramatic. Michael was good. He's probably one of the best.

[Caitiesnanny]

Lesley you surely have a way with words, too funny!

[Lesley]

Was Miley Cyrus always annoying, even as a child star? I never watched or listened to her to know. She is like a fly buzzing in your ear that you can't swat.

[Lesley]

Talk about relevancy: Kim Jong Il doing Marvin Gaye's Grapevine? Maybe in Sing A Song By The Opposite Sex Week (if he makes it) he can sing a hit from the Andrews Sisters. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Caitiesnanny]

His voice is nasally. oh brother, perhaps he should have kept the guitar anyway...He just tried to moonwalk...well sort of

[Lesley]

Caitiesnanny: giving credit where credit is due, the monikers Green Mile and Kim Jong Il are the product of some of the others who frequently appear on this blog, namely Mr. and Mrs. Evans and Lane!

[Lesley]

Paige stands a chance to stay thanks to Andrew.

[Ladybugnine]

Kim Jong Il! I loves it!

[Caitiesnanny]

Miley seems to think she wise beyond her years, but only in her own mind. I wish kids would just try harder to stay kids. Growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be

[HoCo]

Miley's giving good advice. With the exception of Aaron and Crystal tonight, she's looking a whole lot better as a persona, artist and singer, too.
I so hope you're right, Lesley, about Andrew giving Paige a chance, because I dread having to suffer thru Andrew on the tour. I just don't know.

[Lesley]

Caitiesnanny--I agree. Miley acts like she is 40. I guess that's the product of fame at a young age.

[Ladybugnine]

She has no business whatsoever singing this song.

[Lesley]

Katie has a good voice but shouldn't take such a cue from Miley Cyrus and act her age a bit...I don't think that song was such a younger song, btw. But then again, I don't know what she should sing. She's good. But very , very young.

[Lesley]

OMG I LOVE CASEY. "I'm a big fan of your dad's." Just for that he deserves to win.