Idol Gives (Tim Urban) Back

 
  
Tonight American Idol tries to atone for last night's sin of running long and costing Glee viewers on DVRs the last 5 minutes of the Madonna-themed show and the excellent Like a Prayer group number. Word is viewers were so angry, Fox plans to repeat The Power of Madonna Glee episode on Friday. (Next time, just cut Idol back. We don't need Ryan Seacrest's endless and self-aggrandizing walk down the stairs, his self-introduction and other bluster. He's just the host.)

 
So how will Idol atone? They'll run long again tonight! At least, that's the warning from Seacrest himself. Expect the usual bloated, two-hour Idol Gives Back charity special in which the cast, former Idols (including David Cook, Phil Stacey, Lindsey Cardinale, Melinda Doolittle, Danny Gokey, Lakisha Jones, Bo Bice, Bucky Covington, Mandisa) and self-serving pop stars like Mary J. Blige and Carrie Underwood pretend to care about malaria in Africa while, at the same time, making sure to sing and promote their lousy new singles. (At least Elton John isn't shilling a new song.)

 
The upshot? This year the sentimentality goes out the window and a contestant will be eliminated at the end of the two-hour extravaganza. That's the promise, anyway.

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The show kicks off with President Obama and Michelle Obama with a welcome statement. The First Lady had a message for our cranky judge: "Simon, be nice."

Nah, Simon, that's one national order you're free to ignore.

Some music box confectionaire tune followed, sung by the returning Top 12, but only Crystal Bowersox had any featured vocal. Guess the coronation is complete. She's the anointed one. Perhaps if she wins, she could afford to hire an extermination company to remove the rat infestation atop her head.

One of the charities this time, Save the Children, is U.S. based.

George Lopez steals the first 45 mins with a funny routine rating the judges. "Simon: Ryan stop touching me."

Alas, Ryan returns to name Aaron and Casey two of the bottom three. Casey belongs in the bottom. Aaron doesn't. Lee, unfortunately safe to sing badly another week, looks puzzled. His normal look. Crystal wants to go home but viewers won't let her.

Not a lot of entertainment thus far. Black Eyed Peas performed another abysmal song from their inexplicably popular album. Someone on Twitter wonders if it's their cable or could that song possibly be that bad. The answer is the former, it's the song. Jeff Beck and Joss Stone deliver a blues tune from his new CD. Joss looks like she's about to bust a vein in her forehead as she screams the song at the old legend.

Maybe it's the main Idol stage that is making everyone sound so rotten lately. Even Alicia Keys sounded raspy and off tonight on her two songs. (Two songs for serving as such a lousy mentor last night?) Carrie Underwood, by comparison, sounded OK but she was on a separate Pasadena stage. (Also sounded like she had some taped accompaniment help.)

Ryan then warns this depressing, entertainment-free mess is to run late tonight. Maybe if they'd consolodate the commercial pledges down to one or two this endless slog in self-importance could end in the alloted two hours.

Finally, some more results. Tim Urban joins Casey and Aaron in the bottom three. This is the wrong bottom three.

Mary J. Blige's "all star" rendition of Stairway to Heaven was quite decent -- but with the show running way long, this program needs a director to hustle this stuff along. Elton John now on, telling us to get tested for HIV. Love you, Elton. But just run an ad and let's get on with it.

Finally...we may find out who is eliminated after another run of 8 million commercials: It's Tim Urban, the charming, ever-smiling contestant who outlasted predictions. Casey was bottom two.

Show says $15 million raised so far for needy children as of 11 p.m.

Photos: AP.

Comments

[Lesley]

so far this is hideous. just give the number, let people donate and put us out of our misery

[Tracy]

I'm missing NCIS reruns for THIS?

[HoCo]

I'm using electricity on this on Earth Day?

[Lesley]

this is hideous

[MrsEvans]

Sorry we missed the party. I turned the show on just in time to see Casey barely make it back to the couch. Geesh way to end a night! I can go to sleep a happy camper. :)

[MrsEvans]

I am confused though. How were Lee and Shiobhan not in the bottom?

[Lesley]

Torturous but at least American got it right. Good riddance, TUrban.

[Cheese Fries]

Good thing Mike not in bottom 3. Those chairs would NOT hold him.

[Sue]

Would much rather have seen a host of past idols do their thing than what we were given. How sad that so many former idols gave their time to support the cause, but were cut due to time constraints.