The showdown: Lee v. Crystal; DWTS & Glee

 Photo: PictureGroup
 The long and tedious ninth season of Idol finally winds down tonight with the final performance show of Simon Cowell's American Idol career. That's the aspect I'm most curious about, how they bid farewell to the one judge that has kept our attention for eight seasons. We'll find out tomorrow in a 2 hour and 7 minute slog starting at 8 p.m. on Fox.

I say eight seasons, not nine, because Simon has clearly phoned it in this season. It's egregious given that he certainly collected his paycheck and hasn't delivered on it. There's been no interplay between he and the other judges. The much-hyped Simon-Ellen fireworks never materialized. He hasn't had one memorable quip or insult. 

One can't blame him for being bored, tho. Most of America is, given the falling ratings and the abysmal sales for the Idol cast CD. Glee, it ain't.

 Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze are the two least interesting final two contestants the show has coughed up yet. Neither have star quality. Neither have memorable voices. Of the two, Crystal is the better singer but she lacks the spark required of major pop stars. The ratty hair is a turn off, too. Lee has a more commercial voice and has already released two albums (both for sale on iTunes) but he hasn't the IT factor either and, until last week, the vocal ability to sing in tune.

My guess is Lee wins, he's got the momentum. Tonight's show could reverse that budding trend. But, for the first time, I don't REALLY care one way or the other. I'm not interested in a Lee OR a Crystal album post-Idol. Or any of the eight other finalists, to be honest.

 Photo: AP
Still, two more shows, tonight and tomorrow, we blog and Twitter live. But I gotta admit, the showdown I really care about tonight takes place on ABC as Dancing With the Stars crowns a 10th season winner starting at 9 p.m. My choice: Olympic skating gold medalist Evan Lysacek and his dance partner Anna Trebunskaya. Evan's grace, skill and the pair's charm these last few months has been a treat. DWTS' professionalism and the chemistry among its judges and host offer a much-needed lesson to follow for Idol producers as Fox brings its franchise back for a 10th season sans Simon (and, my hope if we continue to cover the show, a whole new cast of judges and a new host to replace the increasingly obnoxious Ryan Seacrest who can bring the show in on time and provide entertainment value and freshness, aspects Idol hasn't come close to delivering this year.)

 Photo: Getty Images
Another show to look forward to tonight that guarantees superior singing compared to Lee and Crystal is Glee's Lady Gaga vs. Kiss pairing. It's The Fame Monster's Bad Romance and Poker Face up against Destroyer's Shout It Out Loud and Beth. Now that I can get behind.

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Isn't it pathetic that the SOLE memorable performance all season belongs to Gen. Larry Platt's Pants on the Ground audition months ago? Idol gave us one pop culture moment and it wasn't Ellen DeGeneres replacing Paula Abdul. It was a senior citizen activist rapping a catchy as all tune to blast kids for wearing their pants around their knees.

Oh no, the dreaded song repeat, "special" Idol song and producer's pick are what we are getting again. Way to shake things up, Idol. zzzzzzzzzzz

Round one to Crystal. No contest. Lee once again puts us to sleep on a lackluster The Boxer. It was slightly more in tune than the first time,but so what? It's finals and he sleepwalks. Simon wants more passion from Lee. "At this stage that was a kiss on the cheek and I'm looking for a kiss on the lips, not from you," Simon said. Lee and passion are mutually exclusive. Crystal got off to a so-so start on Me and Bobby McGee on the first verse but at least she came alive toward the end like she still cares to be on the show.

Round two to, is it any surprise? Crystal. Dull Lee sings R.E.M.'s Everybody Hurts, producer's pick. Everybody hurts, as in our eyes and ears after watching this paint store schlub wilt on TV. He had two good performances last week but two in a season don't make for a winner. Crystal, on the other hand, sang the boring Black Velvet, one of the most overplayed and uninteresting songs in Idol history. And yet, she sang it to win it, she wants this victory while Lee wants to punch the clock again at Home Depot. Crystal wins it.
"I'm almost allergic to that song," Simon said but he liked it and it's clear why.

The judges keep painting Lee as a novice who grew, but he has already released 2 full albums (on iTunes) so this is as good as he gets. Was that a cover of U2's Beautiful Day? The Idol winners' singles will be covers this year? They couldn't write a new tune for them? And I ask if it was U2 cuz it only vaguely sounded like the old U2 hit under Lee's wavering vocals.

Before tonight, I thought Lee had the momentum to win over the more deserving Crystal. Now, if he does, you'll know something is truly screwy in Idol Land. No competition. Crystal hit some offkey notes on her gospel single, Up to the Mountain, but she can SING and did so with passion and credibility. After tonight, if there's ever been a more lop-sided finale, I can't remember one. Even Kris Allen was closer to the great Adam Lambert last year than Lee is to Crystal right now. So, like Simon on his final critique of his American Idol career, we both go out on a positive. Great job, Crystal. You win.

Comments

[Lesley]

i agree and dont care who wins. As for Gaga on Glee. How cliche. Ugh. So sick of her. Love the Kiss idea though!

[HoCo]

Me too! Love those Kiss songs! I've heard all of tonight's songs and they nailed Kiss and Idina Menzel does a great Funny Girl.

[MrsEvans]

Hey kids! No MrE tonight but I did bring along my friends Kendall and Jackson as promised!

[MrsEvans]

Zzzzzzzzz

[MrsEvans]

She is SO much better than Lee.

[HoCo]

Wasn't Lee's performance the most lackluster finale ever? Does he know he made the finals? Does he know where he is?

[Lesley]

hey! I was stuffing my face but I'm here. Lee is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Crystal at least has some personality.

Cant believe Lee chose the Boxer.

And a hello to our VIPs, Kendall and Jackson. Ha!

[Lesley]

I love how lee's mom said he was an energetic child. I guess all that energy got sucked up into the paint can.

is he wailing through Everybody Hurts or what? And yes, everybody does hurt from this performance. meh.

[Lesley]

the other two VIPs in the room are Lack and Luster.

[MrsEvans]

Yes HoCo but I don't fault him. He is a lousy singer who never should have made it to this point. He does not have the chops to stand on the stage of such a large theatre and impress and engage. Hence his sceeeching through a great REM song. This career is not for him.

[MrsEvans]

Can't wait to hear the stodgy songs they wrote for the Idols this year. Wonder if Kara wrote them again.

[MrsEvans]

Best.song.choice.ever.

[Lesley]

I love Black Velvet. This is a great song for her.

[MrsEvans]

Wonder how the Idol crew is going to explain Lee's win tomorrow when Crystal is clearly the best artist.

[Lesley]

Seriously. Conspiracy. She won the minute she walked on stage.

[MrsEvans]

So what am I supposed to do on Tuesday nights now on Tuesdays with blogging Idol and watching LOST?

[Lesley]

However...Crystal is oversinging and Lee is undersinging. Let's see how the cheesy songs go..oy

[HoCo]

Crystal won because she wants to -- but is it going to play out that way? Producers have stumped for a Lee victory all year and can we trust the results? I don't.

[MrsEvans]

I just threw up. I WILL NOT listen to Lee sing this everyday on the radio! This song is sacred! WTF?

[Lesley]

Wait, what? Cover songs as their singles? No original cheeese? huh.

[MrsEvans]

just wrong.

[Lesley]

That was hideous. He blew it. If he wins, seriously, someone needs to investigate.

And MrsE--Tuesdays are so lonely now..no Lost...no Idol (even tho that's not such a bad thing)...

what did you think of Lost?

[MrsEvans]

OMG! Can they make any more excuses for him? Now we should vote for him because he deserves a break?

[MrsEvans]

I loved LOST. I totally got it. I felt it was a bit rushed to put it all together at the end but it worked for me. You?

[Lesley]

everyone deserves a break. crystal has a baby and no baby daddy. i think we all deserve a break from this dreck!

[MrsEvans]

What song is this?

[Lesley]

I loved it too. It made me think. And at least they were all alive in death I guess. :)

[Lesley]

did crystal get an original? did she write this?

[MrsEvans]

I would be happy to give Lee some Kit Kats if he needs a break...

[MrsEvans]

If she doesn't win...

[Lesley]

Wow. No contest. Wowowowowo. And yeah, if she doesn't win....

[MrsEvans]

Do we know what song she sang? Was it a cover?

[Lesley]

i cant figure it out. it must be a cover. HoCo? Gospel tune?

[MrsEvans]

See you tomorrow for the finale!

[HoCo]

It was a cover of a gospel tune but I also don't know the originator. I'm not well-versed on gospel tunes. But it certainly was the superior of the two songs and I agree with all you've said here.
See you all on the finale tomorrow nite. Lotta goodbyes coming!

[Lesley]

until tomorrow!

[gail]

I watched but my new "SMART" phone wouldn't cooperate with the blog...couldn't find the comment section.
That was the worst final evah in AI history. If Crystal doesn't win...but they set Lee up so they could choose Crystal without to much ballyhoo. The show is over this should be it's final season.
Will have computer tonite...cuz I'm gonna miss ya all!

[HoCo]

THe Crystal song was a Patty Griffin tune.