If Scott Brown, the newly elected Republican senator from Massachusetts, were to arrive tonight in Florida, the Republican stampede to congratulate him would resemble the scene at the Long Island Wal-Mart on Black Friday.
Gov. Charlie Crist: "I want to applaud Scott Brown on his historic victory tonight. I was privileged to speak with him just a short time ago and congratulated him myself. (I called him! I called him!)
Attorney General Bill McCollum: "The significance of this election cannot be overstated." (But you can bet FOX News and every Republican from here to Synecdoche is going to try!)
Former House Speaker Marco Rubio: "This victory by a Republican who favors abortion rights, civil unions and the healthcare takeover by the state of Massachusetts sends a strong message that anyone, and I mean anyone, can call themselves a conservative these days.'' (Okay, I made that last one up.)
Here's what Rubio really said: "Scott Brown's remarkable campaign in the bluest of blue states has reinvigorated those who believe Washingtons endless spending and government growth are incompatible with America's proven tradition of putting our faith in individuals and entrepreneurs to create jobs and lead us forward."