As much as I would like to present myself as enlightened and altruistic, I sometimes experience a level of discomfort and unease when in the company of disabled people. I have always enjoyed near-perfect health and have stuck to a rigorous fitness program -- running a distance of five miles four times per week -- for more than 20 years. When I encounter someone who can't possibly do anything like that, a tinge of pity and sadness creeps in.
Without falling too deeply into psycho-babble, I think my discomfort arises from shame at taking my physical abilities (clumsy as they are) for granted. In other words, you feel pretty stupid when you complain about how your feet hurt to someone who has no feet, or who can't use them.
On top of that, I worry about being insensitive when interacting with the disabled person: should I pretend not to notice that he or she is in a wheelchair? Will the person be upset if I ask how he/she got there?
I discovered that the best remedy for my discomfiture is to have a chat with the disabled sailors who hang out at Shake-A-Leg Miami. I recently got to meet the best of the best -- sailors from numerous countries who will compete in the Paralympics this summer in China. They were participating in the 2008 Rolex Miami Olympic (and Paralympic) Classes Regatta on Biscayne Bay.
While hanging out with them, their wheelchair/cane/leg braces/missing limbs actually manage to slip out of my consciousness. Not at first, of course. Determined to try to deal with my own prejudicial demons, I asked these sailors up front how they got that way.
They treated the question as if I had just asked them the time of day. They answered me matter-of-factly, then began talking very animatedly about what they're REALLY interested in -- sailing. The conversation was very much like those I've had with able-bodied Olympic sailors Paul Cayard or Mark Reynolds or Magnus Liljedahl. After a while, my discomfort simply dissipated and I forgot where it went.
Walking away after these interviews, I wondered if I could deal with a life reversal the way these Paralympic sailors have done. I hope I never have to find out. But if it ever came to that, at least I know I'd be in really, really good company.
