From Miami Herald columnist Dave Barry:
NASHUA, N.H. -- With the Iowa caucuses finally behind us, the big question on the minds of millions of Americans, as the nation looks toward an uncertain future, is: Who will win the Super Bowl?
Also some people are wondering who will win the New Hampshire primary. This is an election held every four years to give the voters of New Hampshire a chance to urinate all over whatever the voters of Iowa did.
This year they have targets aplenty:
On the Democratic side, Hillary Clinton narrowly defeated Bernie Sanders in the Iowa caucuses. Or maybe she didn’t. It’s possible that the late Hubert Humphrey won the Iowa Democratic caucuses, which were run so incompetently that it’s hard to believe Florida was not involved. They featured mass confusion and multiple coin flips. Yes: Coin flips. Why not go totally “high-tech” and use a Magic 8-Ball? (“Reply hazy, try again in 2016.”)
The other Democratic news is that Martin O’Malley dropped out of the race, fueling speculation that he had been in the race. It is not yet clear who will inherit O’Malley’s supporter base, which consists of Mrs. Martin O’Malley and their dog, Rex.
So the Democratic race is now a contest between Sanders and Clinton, who are engaged in an increasingly nasty debate over who is more progressive. Sanders seems to have the edge here, especially now that he is ending his rallies by setting fire to a live Wall Street banker.