My annual summer movie preview is running in Friday's Weekend section, so I decided to make a few lists over the next couple of days to advance what I'm looking forward to seeing - and what I'm hoping will screen on the same day I have to be rushed to the hospital and can't make the screening.
First up: The top five summer movies I am dreading the most (in order of release date). The good thing about such low expectations is that the films won't have to do much to impress me. A brief running time will also be a big plus.
Shrek Forever After: I'm a big fan of animation, but the Shrek movies have irritated me from the first installment - lazy, unimaginative pictures that pass off pop culture references and dance numbers to Ricky Martin songs as entertainment. I'm clearly in the minority, since the series has grossed more than $2 billion world wide. I'm also a big fan of Antonio Banderas' Puss in Boots, who is fortunately back for what DreamWorks Animation is promising will be the last entry in the series. For the love of God, please don't break that promise.
Sex and the City 2: In the eternal words of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, this movie looks really, really good - FOR ME TO POOP ON! God bless the brave and intrepid Connie Ogle.
The Karate Kid: I get it, I get it: There's a whole new generation of youngsters who never saw the original, so why not do it again and rake in a fresh new audience? Here's a better idea: Why not just rent the original on DVD and save yourself a trip to the theater? Also, there's something a little sad about the great Jackie Chan taking over for Pat Morita.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse: The talented filmmaker Bill Condon (Gods and Monsters, Kinsey, Dreamgirls) has signed on to direct the final installment in the series, Breaking Dawn, which will be split up into two films. The novel is reported to take some pretty nutty plot twists, so I must confess to being curious about that one. This one, though, looks even cheesier and more insufferable than New Moon. But like the Transformers series, the rabid fan base will turn out in droves, regardless of whether or not the movie is any good.
Step Up 3D: The 3D craze hits a new low with this third installment in the Step Up series offers more acrobatic New York City street dancing and romance, only this time it's in your face. God bless the brave and intrepid Connie Ogle.
Tomorrow: The summer movies I am anticipating the most (yes, there are a few of them).