An Aqua Girl's dispatch from the front lines.

 

Aqua Girls carry on at Karu & Y (Photos by Dale Stine)

Below is a report from a friend who did Aqua Girl in style and is lucid enough on Monday to tell the tale. Who is she? Sorry, she wants anonymity:

I went to all the major parties. Did not like The Fifth, although that's where I met my Big Butch Latin Daddy (and Dom Perignon supplier for the weekend.) I was getting ready to leave and went up to the bar to grab a bottled water and she asked me, "Wouldn't you rather be drinking this instead?'' (Gotta love the lines...) Anyway, she had just popped open a bottle of Dom and, well, not wanting to be rude or anything, I accepted her invitation.

Elegantly dressed and with a very attractive personality (champagne did not cloud my judgement whatsover), she had a really nice vibe to her and reminded me of a very dear Puerto Rican friend of mine who died a few years ago, and with whom I took personal Boricua-style salsa lessons. Daddy & I danced salsa (Boricua-style) and she recounted how she had lost her (also gay) sister a few years back, in a tragic accident. Tough story. Still, she is making the best of her sister's passing and celebrating life (and her sister's memory) with lots and lots of bubbles and smiles. She was muy caballerosa [gentlemanly], and greeted me at every event thereafter with a glass of champagne, them muy respetuosamente [respectfully], went on her merry way back to her posse (with the champagne flowing so freely, her posse was growing in size daily.)

Also met some California-based Britney Spears-looking babe who wanted to (innocently, but annoyingly) kiss on the mouth whenever she greeted me at parties. I know it's the city of Free Love but I'm pretty averse to swapping saliva with strangers. Still, can't help being just a little flattered by her attentions ... that is, until she spilled her sticky sweet fruity drink on the back of my shirt late on Sat. Luckily I was on my way out of the party anyway - and it was not cranberry or anything red. A girl's charm factor has a way of diminishing when bad stains are caused to happen to good fashion.

The Karu & Y party was REALLY, REALLY nice, I have to say, particularly in its early hours. It was outside by the gardens and fountains, with this cool, resort vibe and sounds...It was quite pleasant and enjoyable...until it got so crowded that it wasn't either of those two things anymore. Inside, DJ Kimberly S. started off spinning some really cool tunes early in the eve, but because everyone was outside, the room was somewhat sparsely visited. She eventually gave up trying to impress her small audience and played crap most of the rest of the night. Truly a waste to pay for these "big name" DJs when there's such a magnificent outdoor space, that no one wants to be inside (star DJ or not.) Another plan might be to move the star DJ. Faux pas - hopefully Kimberly S's ego will survive.

Tea dance was fun enough. I took my mantourage of gay friends (after all, we support plenty of their causes) and we hung out upstairs on the sundeck dancing and hanging over the rail to ogle the gyrating bodies below (the most pleasant hang over this particular weekend produced.) The steamy girl parties are over...as locals we still have the scenery. For everyone else, they'll have to content themselves with a lot more time to sleep.

Comments

[Ms Eleanous Reader]

Au contraire about your gay male friends: I have found (via living in and about the WilMa area) that Gay men and Gay women have very little in common.

And that most "queens" are snobs, do not understand gay women or care about them in the least, and that further, gay men who are landlords are just as mean-spirited and hateful as any other kind of landlord.

I would like to give you some examples, but then it would be a buzz-killer and seriously off-topic

[The RD-DJ]

Hey Lyds,

I've enjoyed the play-by-play from the big Aqua Girl weekend...I didn't make it this year, but the times I have been there have always been so fun and affirming. I think one of the coolest moments I had at my first Aqua Girl party a few years ago was being on the dance floor with these totally femme-hot dykelings dancing side-by-side with a 60-ish pair of your more standard-issue dykes...I was thinking how if it hadn't been for those elders and their courage, we might not have been on that crowded dance floor that day celebrating all of our sisters out loud and proud. Very cool. Also very cool that the whole thing benefits such a good cause. Cheers to all who make it happen.

And now, changing gears...

I just passed by bravo-tv's website (I needed a little Jackie fix) and they had an item called "Joan Van Lesbian"---maybe I'm the last L-Word fan to know, but apparently Joan Van Ark will be joining the L-Word cast next season. Any inside scoop on your end as to what the former Mrs. Gary Ewing might be doing in our cu-L-de-sac? I wish Michelle Philips would join her. As I look back, I am pretty sure that the real reason I was such a loyal Knot's Landing fan had much less to do with the drama than it did with various female cast members...

Do keep us posted, Dear Moderator!

[Ms Eleanous Reader]

I liked the photo at top featuring the girl in the white top with the big boobs. Thanx for the pix

[Nonni Scotti]

RD DJ you were probably there but you just won't admit to it

[Elana]

Well there is a bit of good news today. Sarah Shahi will be starring (ok, co-starring) next Fall in an NBC crime drama along with (Dreamcatchers co-star)and ON red-headed Brit Damian Lewis.

She will be the "skeptical cop/sidekick" with the "checkered past" according to other blogs, which undoubtedly know more about this than I do.

So (a) good for her because it must mean a whole lot more bux than from Showtime, and also some mainstream attention
(b)maybe she'll still have time to do some scenes etc for "The L Word."

(c)someday someone will offer her a big part in a yet-to-made classic movie which will win her an Academy Award and a $10-million per picture salary, or maybe not.

If not, we'll just content ourselves with watching clips of her and Kate/Shane f*cking on YouTube because they are so hottt together

Meanwhile, while we're waiting for next year's L Word season to start....what else can we do, now that that the Aqua Girl party has come and gone?

Yesterday I was at my local Publix (which I tend to think of as "Disability Publix" since just about everyone who shops there is on crutches or driving a motorized wheelchair or is obviously on some form of public assistance .......)

..When out of nowhere this amazing Maxximm cover-girl type blonde bombshell walks past pushing her grocery cart.

Don't you hate it when that happens and you just happen to be wearing the t-shirt you slept in, your hair isn't done, your contacts aren't in and your slacks are covered with cat hair?

Isn't it embarrassing? And even more embarrassing because you just know that you are going to nonchalantly follow her through Publix anyway pretending not to notice how amazingly gorgeous she is.....wishing and hoping that she was the girrll you could take to next year's Aqua Girl Party yet knowing that there is less chance of that than of the people in Hell being offered a glass of ice-water.....

Well that happened to me yesterday, and just in the produce department this Goddess-like (she was probably just a stripper though) woman suddenly wheeled her cart in a U-Turn and zoomed off past me.

I modestly averted my eyes which left me looking at a bin of fresh tomatoes aptly named "Ugli fruit."

Oh Sarah Shahi, Persian Goddess of Our World, pray for us, now and at the hour of our...etc Amen.

[RD-DJ]

Well, hey, Elana, if she's a stripper, she's probably a dyke, so all is not lost. Now dust off those slacks and get back on that shopping cart, 'cuz you just never know...

[Elena]

RD DJ you purposely used the wrong preposition in your May 19th post, right?

By writing "get back on your cart" you were implying that I was one of those riding in a motorized wheel-chair cart at Publix, weren't you. Very funny.

Well let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am ambulatory, I was **pushing** a shopping cart...therefore I was behind the cart and not "on" it.

However, I can't say too much for myself since I see I have mispelled my own name in the past few postings.

It is "Elena" not "Elana".

Also, here is another tip: if you ever go on line searching for the Publix weekly shopping sales-circular, do not make a typographical mistake and type "Pubix" dot com.

You will get an eyeful.

And not a pleasant one. Also, concerning this "Aqua Girl, Dispatch from the Front Line" Post.....let me also agree with the above posters:

Yes, the photo of the girl with the big t*ts is hot (I guess the "wear a kerchief instead of a blouse") is recent fashion statement for those with the t*ts and abs to make that look work for them...

And (b) I didn't like the second photo, which basically is a photo of one girl's armpits and a group of her friends all mugging for the camera.

I don't know how to express this...I just don't like "armpit" shots. (At least she followed common hygeniene practices by exposing shaved armpits. There is nothing worse (in my uptown, white-breaded world) than seeing hairy pits.

(It's like looking at someone's crotch)

On that note, RD DJ, 'happy shopping.'

[A Bluestocking]

Well, its been a while since Lydia posted anything so meanwhile I went over to OurChart to watch the Kate/Leisha podcasts.

In Podcast 1 (out of four so far) K and L fielded a question from a reader about what they do as actors "to prepare for a love scene."

Kate laughed and said she "would really love to answer that one," implying whatever it was she/the other actors did --wasn't really legal.

To me, it meant either (in High School parlance) that they "dropped a 'lude" or did something else illegal ....like smoke pot...and so forth

I don't approve

And I am not saying this for humorous, sardonic or ironic effect.

I do wonder, though....just what **do** actors do (yeah, I saw that movie referring to the "fluffer" on a porn set).

But what about legitimate actors? What do they do?

Kate (as in actor Katherine Moennig aka 'Shane') also said it "depended on how well you knew the other (actor) in the scene. She said she didn't like it (and Leisha Hailey chimed in to agree with her) when they had to do a love scene with a "cameo" actor.."with someone who just dropped by for the afternoon," was the way Leisha put it.

Probably if the other actress showed up in a shear dress without any underwear, that would help.

[Yamamoto]

Well, we're still waiting for Lydia to decide to post something else.

While waiting I went over to IMDB.com (pro edition, which costs $12.95 per month)...and found that our gal Sarah Shahi (Persian Goddess of Our World Who Prefers Not to Wear Underwear in Public Regardless of the Consequences) is now ranked #37 on the IMDB's "Star-O-Meter" up from about #1100+ only several weeks ago.

So I guess banging "Tony Soprano" (James Gandolfini) was helpful for her, professionally speaking, as was snagging that co-starring role in the upcoming NBC TV series "Life".......in which she plays a Detective/sidekick type role.

The photos of SS (our precious, irreplaceable 'Carmen' and an essential part of "Shane/Carmen, aka Sharmen".....show her in full 'tough cop' regalia: dark hair slicked back, Aviator Glasses, Dark Leather Jacket, black shirt, grey slacks.......................very tough, very butch, very serious.

Is this a mistake? Our precious, darling Carmen was beautiful, loving and kind on "The L Word." She was an amazingly sexy beautiful, loving and kind "Carmen de la Pica Morales"........now she looks to be "hardboiled tough cop with a tough attitude and a checkered-past" sidekick.

Will this work? Who knows......but Katie Couric sure as sh*t didn't work out as the CBS Evening News Anchor......we loved Katie in the AM on NBC......where she was funny, loving, cheery, peppy, amusing.....flashing a gorgeous smile.......engaging.......

and she traded all of that in to be the "Serious, stern Talking Head" of the CBS Evening News.

Jeezis H, Sarah Shahi, Persian Goddess of our World..........sure hope you know what the F you are doing.

By the way,,,,,,,,,,,,,you have the most amazing abs.......(those of us who are regulars at the local Taco Bar could never even dream of what you've got.......up front)

[Yamamoto]

Another day has passed, and still no more pearls of wisdom from the blog author, Lydia Martin, nor her Herald colleague, Lisa Arthur, who had also commented in previous posts.

Most of Lydia's posts arrive on Sundays (as in tomorow)so maybe the Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow.....and Lydia will write something new.

If not, I will take my cues from Lydia's front page story of only a week or two ago and go see the Celia Cruz exhibit at the Bass Museum in Miami Beach.

Why not? Sounds like wholesome fun (unlike the boozy, apparently drug-influenced rowdiness of the Aqua Girl Party).....you could learn something (I'm sure)from that exhibit, even if you don't know what "Boricua Style Salsa" is....per Lydia's post about her "Latin Daddy" groupie at the Aqua Girl fest.

Celia Cruz (whose passing garnered three-inch CAPs headlines in the Miami Herald) did have some fabulous costumes...better even than the ones featured in "I Love Lucy" -- (the Maringue/Mariachi-type dancers with Desi Arnaz' band).......better than the "Chiquita Banana" Lady......truly the envy of drag-queens everywhere, I'm sure.

Then there is shopping at Publix. There is day-dreaming; there are clips to watch on YouTube and MySpace, podcasts on "OurChart".....there are long-lost loves to ponder......."Barbies" to love/hate...

There are 50%-off sales at Macy's....especially nice when your Mom is along with her charge card

BTW, I did see a "Dooney and Burke" Barbie for sale through Dooney and Burke's online catalog.....thinking of getting one and taking her teensy little purse away from her and using it for myself.....(real D & B handbags cost about $100 more than sale-priced roundtrip airfare from FLL/MIA to DCA...)

I wonder what kind of purse Sarah Shahi has, now that she is making all that "Network TV" type money? Do you think she used any of her money to buy a few pairs of underwear?
I hope so. No more GLAAD parties in Miami until she learns the Rules around here concerning Panties.

[Yamamoto]

Seems like its been FOREVER since Lydia has posted remarks in the Gospel of Lezbianity here in the M I A.....area

Yes, Lyds.....M I A
missing in action

(The worst military acronym I have ever heard is used --for real--in Iraq: DUSTWON (Duty Status Whereabouts Unknown). Creepy.

Also creepy is to go clicking around the blogosphere and somehow land on a spot (such as the "Bushido" blog-space) which has a clip of our own precious darling scrumptious Sarah Shahi in her NOtorious (as in NO! Stop it! Please!) scenes with James Gandolfini from "The Sopranos."

I remember James Gandolfini from some cop-movies of about a decade or so ago...time has not improved him or his looks...(that Michael Imperioli is not half-bad, though...for a guy)......

So anyway posted there on that Bushido blog is the clip from with SS banging Tony...with the apres-sex "smoke"......of an hallucinogenic weedy roll-up thing...then a scene or two of SS and Gandolfini doing "Peyote"....which Sarah instructs "Tony" on just how to do it.

Why I didn't like these scenes:

a)You know how some scenes are "just too convincing"? (examples: Robin Williams as a Gay Man in "The Bird Cage," ditto for Hank Azaria, same flick; -- Michael Caine as a psychopathic murderer in 'Dressed to Kill'...etc

Well........Sarah Shahi did the 'drug thing' in a way which was a little too smooth, a little too knowing...a little 'insider-knowledgish".....

So I just think I may drop her altogether from my "Goddess" list (That's just a 'maybe' and not a 'for sure')

[Yamamoto]

Wow, it has been a long time since Lyds has made a comment for her post.

It is a long hot summer, and there are few activities to sustain the faithful (L-wordians.)

Well, here's something to do: if you get bored with endless hours of MTV-like "Sharmen" music videos, there is a Audi Q7 'minisite' (website) for Audi's new SUV --obviously, the "Q7".

It's an interactive website, and this totally hottt tall blonde Germanic/Valkyrie type "spokesperson" for Audi, "Sandra Berger" will give you quite the interactive tour of the Q7 (available in the language of your choice: suggestion --try it in her native tongue, German. You'll like it.

So in this interactive tour of the Q7, "Sandra Berger" will show you the various features of this new Audi, then she'll ask,
"Have I aroused your interest?"

(Silent answer: "Yes - now take off your clothes")

Of course, this is only for the really, really bored.....everyone else can go back to searching for Sarah Shahi videos, appearances, etc. Damn it though....her "scene" with Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) was really "off-putting," as the British would say.

In fact, it was really gross, and .......further more.........Sarah Shahi has practically taken the plunge, right off her "Persian Goddess of Our World" perch....and fallen right down to mere "working-girl" status.

Almost, but not quite.

[Tenofive]

Hey, Lydia -

Anything to say about the latest L Word promos?

Hope so!