The L Word(s)

Jennifer Beals on Bette being bad.

 

THIS?

   

OR THIS?    (Images belong to Showtime)

OK, everybody get a chance to collect themselves after THE KISS? You know which one I mean. Not the hot JoBette kiss at the dean's office (which, come on, you have to admit wasn't too shabby.) But the OMFG TiBette kiss at the new club.

We all loved the AlphaBette wrist grab, followed by the hand forcefully pulling Tina's head in for the kill. And we can cheer Bette for finally putting an end to all the silliness by just taking Tina and reminding her what time it is. But what about Bette's commitment to Jodi? What about the fact that Jodi had just barely made it to the parking lot before Bette grabbed her ex for a steamy lip lock that broke all the rules?

Jennifer Beals didn't approve when her character cheated on Tina with that carpenter back in Season One. And she doesn't approve that Bette just cheated on her new girlfriend with her ex.

But, here's a special little something from JB herself to get you TiBetters going. Well, after that kiss, you're already going. But this should help take you over the top:

"I can't condone her behavior at all," JB told me in a recent interview about Bette's  ways. "It's cheating. It's coming from a different place than when she cheated with Candace. And that's what she tells herself to rationalize it. But it's still cheating. And yet, she realized this person is the love of her life. And she misses her so intensely and is willing to risk being a complete fool to try to reconnect with her. She's afraid to put all the cards on the table, because maybe she is going to get rejected in the end. But with a little bit of alcohol at that club, she is willing to risk everything.''

And then a warning from JB about the coming episodes:

"It's potentially just this moment at this club,'' she says.

And the smart TiBetter will remember they are, after all, watching The L Word. Meaning that the story will likely take twists and turns, some of which will leave us going "WTF?'' Which, of course, we're more than used to.  And who cares how many WTFs we endure, so long as we get more TiBette action and a happy ending? Right? We're counting on you, Ilene.

So rejoice today, TiBetters. And tighten your seat belts for the rest of the ride.

I know there is a lot more to process in Episode Four, which over all kicked ass. But, kind of stuck on TiBette right now. Tune in later for more on Shane and the hot club promoters from Miami, Crazy Jenny and whether or not her unassuming assistant, Ugly Jenny, is actually crazier...And some thoughts from Laurel Holloman about that undeniable TiBette chemistry.

We're that much closer to Episode Four

So what did we learn by watching The Lady of the Lake?

We learned you can get "freakishly clear-headed'' by swearing off sex.  At least if you're Shane, who definitely needed to just say no for a hot minute.  I mean, when did she eat, sleep, pay the bills, wash the laundry, download new music, etc?  But get your sh*t together, Shane. You can't just grab at your friends out of sexual frustration. Though, that slip up with Helena was classic.

We learned Jenny and her new assistant, Ugly Jenny, are just plain old freakish. But props to Mia, who is playing Jenny so over the top this season, you gotta love her. Even if you hate her. That is, if you have any sense of humor at all.

Speaking of sense of humor, we learned the hot, snobbish Dean Porter is way lacking in that department. Not that I blame her. Who the hell wants to be cooped up in a country house with a whole crew of Jodi's spazztacular friends. And who the hell wants to play football? Ever?  Sorry, I'm not that kind of dyke. And neither is Bette Porter. (Although I guess last season she was perfectly cool to dress down for a little b-ball). Extra points to Bette for pulling herself out of that lake and just walking away after that stupid friend of Jodi's tossed her in. She should have kicked his teeth in. Mega extra points for actually staying to hear those people drone on.

We learned sign language for lesbian, cunnilingus, and f*ck - thanks for that Marlee Matlin!  Many of us do love you. Even if we're not feeling Jodi and Bette as a couple. And, you know, some of us did keep an open mind about that for a while. But, just that lame weekend away with your lame friends convinces me Bette has no business with Jodi. Those people were just gay.

We learned that same-sex attraction may be genetically encoded, which could explain why a transman who was once a lesbian all of a sudden, after transitioning into a man, might be into men.  Intriguing. And I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I almost got interested in the Max story for a minute, when I pondered the possibility of him hooking up with Tom.

We learned Peggy P can strut with the best of 'em when she did that prison walk to spring daughter Helena out of the slammer. That, and she can serve it up "family style," which is lovely. Except, did we know Peggy P to be so heartless?  Good thing Helena's got a stash of cash and a plan to bust out Dusty and live happily ever after on some far-off island paradise. A prison b*tch and her daddy ride off into the sunset. Aw. So cute.

But WTF? Helena hasn't been totally written off the show, right? 

According to Ilene Chaiken, she's just sitting out a couple of episodes and then will be out of orange and back in black.

"I needed to take some time to fix that storyline,'' Chaiken told me in a recent interview. "I love that character. And I love that actress. Her story just wasn't working the way we wanted it to. And I'm just taking a little responsibility for it. We needed to take a little time to get Helena back around to where we wanted her. I think a Helena story in the sixth season would be really satisfying.''

What else did we learn from episode three? We learned Tina is definitely back in the lesbian fold. And she seems to have developed a thing for breasts. We also learned Laurel Holloman is fearless about bringing the hotness in love scenes.

Which brings us to TiBette. Now that we know the Jodi thing isn't working so smoothly,  doesn't that leave the door open for a TiBette opportunity? Episode Four is right around the corner. Can you stand it?

Well, it's not like we watch the L Word for the writing.

First, a thank you to Ilene Chaiken for being up on all the message board chatter and knowing how badly many hardcore L fans wanted to see a Bette and Helena hook up, even as a fantasy. Fun little visual, Ilene. But I still say you're wrong. Bette and Helena may be alike in their alphaness, but I'm pretty confident they'd manage to bring the hotness if they ever tangled.

"I know everybody wanted to see how these two gorgeous alphas would be together,  but I just never saw them sizzling," Chaiken told me in a recent interview. "You never know what might happen in the future.''

Keep teasing Ilene, keep teasing.

As for the Bette and Shane moment: sorta wrong in theory. But, well, I have to admit it worked for me, and I'm not even into that youngster-meets-Mrs. Robinson thing. How about you?

Tina and Shane worked, too. Kind of reminds me of some fan fic out there where TiBette got it on with Shane out by the pool.

But I digress. What can I say about episode 2? What can I say without feeling like a vulture picking the last of the gristle off a worked-over carcass? Because by the end of last week, every message board had gotten a hold of every episode (well, through 8, anyway)  and ripped every detail apart, at least the details as reported word for word by a few evil spoilers with enough time on their hands to lay out large chunks of dialog for their fellow message board junkies. They even posted screencaps for episodes that won't happen for weeks.

Not too cool. And really, all of you who ate that sh*t up, do you feel better now?  Or did it ruin your Sunday nights just a little bit? Be honest.

Anyway, here's what I want to know about episode two:

Did Shane wash her hands at any point during that wedding? I mean, three different women in one afternoon?

When did Kit do serious time in jail? She certainly seemed to suggest that she knew her way around when she visited Helena in the slammer. Did we know that about her? I mean, we knew she was a messy alcoholic. So she might have gotten a DUI here and there, but would you know all the gory details about  "cliquing up" if you've been on the inside just long enough to have a buzz kill?

And why would Tina take a date to the Planet? Isn't this Los Angeles? This is hardly the only watering hole in town. You're gonna go to the place that's owned by your ex's sister, where you know your ex and your best buddies will definitely be watching from the next table? Even if what you want to do is rub the date in Bette's face, taking her to the Planet is way too obvious and lame.

As for Alice, she needs to shut the hell up every now and then. Respect your girlfriend's boundaries and don't tell her soldier sh*t to everybody when she's made it clear she doesn't want to go there. Just grow up. And that goes for Bette and Jodi, too. Why are they making out like teenagers at a restaurant, with Alice and Tasha sitting across from them? Who does that? Especially grown-ass, professional women in their 40s.

But, hey, it's just a soapy melodrama with fun lesbian visuals. Let's just celebrate what it is and not get stuck on what it's not.

Will Bette and Tina ever TALK? Beals and Holloman say the processing is on.

A poster has just asked a question I know a lot folks would like an answer to, especially with all the new spoilery out there about the BeTiJo triangle and how that may shake out in coming episodes. Is Bette just a cheater? Is Tina just a doormat? Is Jodi ultimately the only adult in WeHo?

Well, I don't believe in spoiling major storylines. It's just not fun. Admit it, those of you who have let yourselves be spoiled feel dirty now. Plus, who knows what's true and what isn't? Maybe you're getting yourselves worked up for nothing. I, for one, don't know how it all ends. Neither do most people. Those of us who have gotten review copies of Season Five have only seen through episode 8 so far. 

But, anyway, Colorado Fan wants to know:  "Can you tell us if Bette and Tina do finally "process" their relationship?  Are they "earning it" as JB has alluded to?  Or, does IC continue on with subtle innuendo leaving viewers to draw their own conclusions?  I am hopeful for some real dialogue between Bette and Tina."

And this, I can answer. Or rather, I can let Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman answer:

"Processing. I love that word. We had one episode this season that I would call uber processing," Beals said in a recent interview. "Bette and Tina don't deal with anything. Because you take the path of least resistance.  What I mean about them having to earn their relationship back is that they have to deal with everything that made them fall apart. You can get back together, but that doesn't mean everything is going to magically be fine. You have to look pretty hard at yourself and what happens when you're together. If you don't seriously examine the riff, there is not a lot of hope. You're better off just having a friendship. Especially if you have a kid. You don't want to put them through all of that again if you break up again.'

So if there's talk, there's hope? Because it seems there will definitely be talk.

"First they have to become friends in order to talk truthfully," Holloman says. "And they're doing that. Tina was betrayed. She was cheated on after she had a miscarriage. They never talked about that. Then they get back together, but for all the wrong reasons. They never worked out the betrayal, or the need for equality in their relationship. I think you'll see that they'll flesh it out this season and talk about some of the things that have happened.''

Is it on or isn't it? Laurel Holloman offers hints.

We could spend a lot of time talking about the Season Five premiere, which was cute enough.  But after going up on OurChart.com a week ago, and then airing three times in a row on Showtime last night, aren't we all processed out?

Let's see: Jenny is so bad. And Mia is so good at playing her. Helena is cute in her campy prison scenes, but to offer up a spoiler, we're gonna see so little of her after a couple more episodes that - well, it's just sad to think how far our blinged-out Brit has fallen. Alice and Tasha - how can you not root for them? But the Don't Ask, Don't Tell storyline that's coming is, you know, BORING. Because any time the L Word gets on the public service announcement soap box is a not-so-fun time for us. Which brings us to Max and his monologue about trannydom. You get the feeling he's on the high school sex ed circuit and keeps the speech on index cards. Sorry, looks like another Whatever With Max season. Then there's Super Bad Shane, who you might call the love child of Warren Beatty and Jodie Foster, if Jodie Foster went that way, but now that Jodie is finally out, we all know she doesn't. OK, fine, we always knew. But let's pretend to be surprised for her sake.

As for  BeTiJo: Why is it that Bette is still trying to make a go of it wih Jodi, when she is so obviously still in love with Tina? And why is Tina beating around the bush when she so clearly only has eyes for Bette? Are these people 12?

But the intro on Showtime last night was cute.

Jennifer: "It's on."

Laurel: "It's not on."

Jennifer: "I'm pretty sure it's on."

Laurel. "It's definitely not on.''

And so on...In fact, here's the link so you can watch them do that little bit on youtube.

But is it really, really on? Or are they just pulling our TiBette chain?

Well, I interviewed Jennifer and Laurel recently (I do the dirty work so you don't have to) and grilled them about all of that. Not to be a tease or anything, but I had to promise Jennifer I wouldn't spoil any part of her story, and would post quotes from her about upcoming episodes only after the episodes air. So, yeah, she told me why she slammed that girl, who will remain unnamed, on that bed. And what was going through her head when she did what she did to her. But, I can't share that just yet.

Laurel will also open up more as we go along. What? Do you really want these women to spoil all the fun?

Anyway, is Tina still stuck on Bette?

"Some days she is OK. She is trying to move on with her life. She is really busy with work and with the baby," Laurel says. "There is just a lot more going on for her this season. She is reconnecting with all of her friends. Her daughter is going to pre-school now so she is a little out of that bubble of motherhood.  Tina lost so much of her identity when she was with Bette. She was so co-dependent.  Now she's dating, she's having a career. Part of her growth is about not being co-dependent anymore.''

But, isn't Tina hanging around Bette a little more than she should?

"She finally got to say that Bette was controlling and was smothering her. It's kind of about time they worked on a friendship and started to treat each other well. I think Tina as a person is a late bloomer. She is finally hitting her stride. In a lot of ways, she will become more attractive to Bette because of that. Well, I don't know if Bette will really be attracted to Tina or not. Let's hope so''

L Word news in the paper today.

Future shock: Could this be the last word for 'The L Word'?

Posted on Sun, Jan. 06, 2008

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BY LYDIA MARTIN

lmartin@MiamiHerald.com

SHOWTIME

For L Word fans, the future of Tina (Laurel Holloman, left) and Bette (Jennifer Beals) is all-consuming.

» More Photos

Visit just about any website dedicated to discussing and dissecting The L Word (already about a dozen sites and blogs are going strong in anticipation of Sunday's 9 p.m. season-five Showtime premiere), and you'll find posters debating whether power dyke Bette should dump famous artist Jodi and get back together with movie producer Tina. And whether Tina should move on or go back to Bette, who, after all, is her baby's other mother.

In 2004, when the groundbreaking series featuring mostly straight, mostly feminine actresses playing lesbians began, there was plenty of criticism from the lesbian community about the show's glam portrayals, which seemed to sweep under the carpet the truth about Everylesbian.

Everylesbian, the argument went, doesn't look like Jennifer Beals (Bette). Like anybody else, lesbians come in all shapes and sizes. Some, perhaps still borrowing from the politics of the 1970s, consciously say no to gender-dictated embellishments.

''Well, the truth is, I don't wear such fabulous clothes in my real life,'' says Laurel Holloman, who plays Tina and is married to a man. ``I can't walk in the high heels that Tina walks in.''

Some lesbians griped that the actresses, who relentlessly get it on in gorgeous pairs and trios, were cast to appeal to men. But heading into what may be the skin-flashing melodrama's final season, nobody is clamoring for middle-American authenticity anymore. Audiences have moved beyond politics and now just beg for Bette and Tina to hook up again. And again. They want their lipstick-on-lipstick love scenes, even if they're not into lipstick themselves.

''I feel like less of a chump now when I'm trying to convey the sexuality,'' Beals says. 'I used to think, `Oh my God, am I doing this right?' I figured everybody was saying, 'This girl is so straight; there is no way she can play a gay woman.' But after five seasons, I feel I have earned some credibility.''

As the first television show to tell the story of out, urban lesbians, The L Word has helped empower real gay women who had never before seen their lives so positively reflected in the media. And it has helped pave the way for more gay programming, including Exes & Ohs. A comedy series about a group of lesbian friends who hang out in a Seattle coffee house, it was launched last year by Logo, the gay and lesbian television network introduced by MTV Networks in 2005. (Logo has not decided if it will renew the series but later this year will air the first two seasons of The L Word, cleaned up to meet basic cable standards.)

But for all its positives, The L Word has imposed a mainstream-friendly, if unrealistic, lesbian image: super-feminine and stilettoed is popping up more than it should in lesbian projects, some observers say.

HAS A LOOK

''Where has the butch gone in film? That has been the argument lately,'' says Carol Coombes, director of the Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival. ``The L Word has done so many positive things, but it has established a look. On the show there was one character who started out butch, but then became a [transsexual]. All the other characters are femme. Even when they're trying to play butch, they're very glamorous, like Shane. Of course, there are plenty of feminine lesbians in the world. But go to the New Moon [bar] in Wilton Manors. There are plenty of women there in jeans and flannel shirts drinking beer. The mullet is still around.''

The femme has always been overrepresented in films, says Jaime Babbit, a lesbian film and television director whose credits include the 2007 indie film Itty Bitty Titty Committee and a couple of episodes of The L Word, including the new season's second episode.

''I think in general, even before there was The L Word, some lesbians were more accepted. Men have the most power and the control of the purse strings, which is why there have always been more femmes in movies,'' Babbit says. ``Itty Bitty Titty Committee was about punk-rock lesbians, which I think was a nice antidote. If there were five or 10 TV shows about lesbians, poor Ilene Chaiken [L Word creator and executive producer] wouldn't have to be called on to represent all lesbians in the world.''

DEFENDING GLAMOUR

But Chaiken stands by her glamour girls.

``As a filmmaker, you have to present the image that tells your story. I think The L Word is aspirational and positive -- and true, by the way. There are gay women laced throughout our culture who are as successful and as fabulous as the characters on The L Word.''

Whether or not the characters are too straight-looking or too rich, The L Word has helped the lesbian community make strides toward self-acceptance and greater political power, says Kate Kendell, executive director of the San Francisco-based National Center for Lesbian Rights.

''It's been great to have a show that at least is in the ball park in terms if how real lesbians live their lives,'' Kendell says. ``In five years, the show has had enormous cultural significance. You just have to listen to Latino and African-American leaders and how they bemoan the absence of enough actors of color in TV and films. To be represented is to gain legitimacy.''

Plus, is it really so wrong to have some sugar-coated, girl-on-girl fun on TV? Even Kendell gets into the Bette and Tina fray. ``I think Bette and Tina are bad for each other. I don't get the spark. I know there are people who desperately want them to get back together. But I think they're a yawner as a couple. I think Bette and Jodi [Marlee Matlin] seem better matched.''

So will it be JoBette or TiBette?

''Bette and Tina just have incredible chemistry together,'' admits Chaiken who, since season one, has gotten endless flak for breaking up the one couple on the show that seemed to have a happy, long-term relationship. ``We knew we had to find ways for them to engage this season, whatever happens in the end.''

Chaiken can't help but tease, but she also doesn't want to spoil the season for a zealous fan base that trolls various websites, including OurChart.com (a sort of myspace.com for lesbians operated by Showtime, Chaiken and several of the show's actresses) to beg for a TiBette reunion.

Even the actresses who play the roles have implored Chaiken to get them back together.

''Jennifer and I were so touched by all the little videos on youtube.com that people make about Bette and Tina,'' Holloman says. 'I was like, `Come on Ilene, they have to work it out.' But she's right. If we had no drama, nobody would have wanted to watch us. It would have been us taking care of our baby and eating popcorn in front of the TV. I think season five is a perfect bookend to season one.''

So far, Showtime is not saying whether this season is the end. But, 'because of the writers' strike, this could be the last year,'' Holloman says. ``My guess is if we're lucky, we'll get another season,''

Says Chaiken: 'Putting the writers' strike aside, I would like to go another season. And there's a good chance of that. It always depends on how the audience responds.''

Clearly, this year Showtime is banking on fans' tuning in for a TiBette fix. It recently announced that Holloman and Beals will host tonight's premiere on camera. But, Beals cautions, none of the hoopla, not even the cable and Internet promos that offer a glimpse of TiBette in a liplock, confirms that the couple will ride off into the sunset together.

''First, Bette and Tina would have to deal with everything that made them fall apart,'' Beals says. ``But it is nice to see them together in their friendship. They're less combative, more at ease with one another. You kind of get a sense of what it must have been like for them before the storm.''

 

Can't wait for tonight for some L-on-L action?

Then check out my colleague Steve Rothaus' blog, Gay South Florida, for an episode of the web-based lesbian show, Lovers & Friends. It's urban, it's sexy, it's taped in South Florida. And it's not afraid to show skin. It's not the L Word. It doesn't boast the same deep-pockets production value, or Jennifer Beals in a power suit, or better yet, a wife beater. But in some ways it's cooler and edgier.

Don't take my word for it. Check it out and tell me what you think.

I'll be posting more about it later. After we get our L Word on.