Well, it's not like we watch the L Word for the writing.

First, a thank you to Ilene Chaiken for being up on all the message board chatter and knowing how badly many hardcore L fans wanted to see a Bette and Helena hook up, even as a fantasy. Fun little visual, Ilene. But I still say you're wrong. Bette and Helena may be alike in their alphaness, but I'm pretty confident they'd manage to bring the hotness if they ever tangled.

"I know everybody wanted to see how these two gorgeous alphas would be together,  but I just never saw them sizzling," Chaiken told me in a recent interview. "You never know what might happen in the future.''

Keep teasing Ilene, keep teasing.

As for the Bette and Shane moment: sorta wrong in theory. But, well, I have to admit it worked for me, and I'm not even into that youngster-meets-Mrs. Robinson thing. How about you?

Tina and Shane worked, too. Kind of reminds me of some fan fic out there where TiBette got it on with Shane out by the pool.

But I digress. What can I say about episode 2? What can I say without feeling like a vulture picking the last of the gristle off a worked-over carcass? Because by the end of last week, every message board had gotten a hold of every episode (well, through 8, anyway)  and ripped every detail apart, at least the details as reported word for word by a few evil spoilers with enough time on their hands to lay out large chunks of dialog for their fellow message board junkies. They even posted screencaps for episodes that won't happen for weeks.

Not too cool. And really, all of you who ate that sh*t up, do you feel better now?  Or did it ruin your Sunday nights just a little bit? Be honest.

Anyway, here's what I want to know about episode two:

Did Shane wash her hands at any point during that wedding? I mean, three different women in one afternoon?

When did Kit do serious time in jail? She certainly seemed to suggest that she knew her way around when she visited Helena in the slammer. Did we know that about her? I mean, we knew she was a messy alcoholic. So she might have gotten a DUI here and there, but would you know all the gory details about  "cliquing up" if you've been on the inside just long enough to have a buzz kill?

And why would Tina take a date to the Planet? Isn't this Los Angeles? This is hardly the only watering hole in town. You're gonna go to the place that's owned by your ex's sister, where you know your ex and your best buddies will definitely be watching from the next table? Even if what you want to do is rub the date in Bette's face, taking her to the Planet is way too obvious and lame.

As for Alice, she needs to shut the hell up every now and then. Respect your girlfriend's boundaries and don't tell her soldier sh*t to everybody when she's made it clear she doesn't want to go there. Just grow up. And that goes for Bette and Jodi, too. Why are they making out like teenagers at a restaurant, with Alice and Tasha sitting across from them? Who does that? Especially grown-ass, professional women in their 40s.

But, hey, it's just a soapy melodrama with fun lesbian visuals. Let's just celebrate what it is and not get stuck on what it's not.

Comments

[Nikki]

Hey Lydia. Ilene gave you a shoutout in her latest podcast.

[Jessica]

Hi Lydia,

Do you have any insight on why Jodi made the lunch scene so uncomfortable with her really abrupt delivery of "yea, what happened" to Alice and then telling Bette "that's a hideous question" after she asked what Tina's date did for a living?

I really need some sort of insight from either you or Ilene...

[Pebbles70]

Hey, to answer your post honestly. No it doesn't ruin my Sundays at all, quite the contrary. Now that I know what's going to happen I'm looking forward to it even more! It's true. Î'm one of those people who read the last page of a book first. Knowing the end doesn't spoil the fun to explore the whole story.

[A-rod]

Hey Lydia,
I agree with Pebbles70. I too have read the spoilers and they make me look forward to watching the show and see how it unfolds.
Reading about what's going to happen doesn't compare to actually seeing it play out on my screen. It tends to be way better.

[Honest Mala]

Honestly I was wondering if I was going to even watch season 5 and now that I read the spoilers I am even more eager to see it play out on my screen. I've waited patiently for two years for things that will be going down in the next couple of episodes. It didn't ruin my night at all. In fact I am eagerly waiting for a certain date to get here. I will be watching the replays that night.

[Lydia Martin]

Hi Nikki,

Thanks for letting me know. I might have never seen that on my own.

[Lydia Martin]

Hi Jessica,

I certainly wasn't in the writers' room. But I guess they're trying to give us a sense that Bette and Jodi butt heads. You know, that Jodi has a mind of her own and isn't afraid to challenge Bette. Or, something like that.

[Lydia Martin]

Pebbles, A-Rod and Mala:

If it works for you, cool. I do understand being frustrated enough with the past couple of seasons to want to know up front what I'm getting into this season. And yeah, being a virgin can be overrated. But I kind of envy the folks who will be experiencing that little gasp of surprise when this or that happens later this year. You know, once you know the punchline, the joke just isn't as funny.

[AZ]

Ilene Chaiken doesn't think that Rachel Shelley and Jennifer Beals are sizzling together???? But Marlee Matlin and JB are??? WTF.

Those are some rose-colored glasses you've got, IC.

[Brandi]

Lydia,
I had those gasps, when I read/saw the spoilers. And yeah I know the punchline, but how the joke is delivered......umm lost my train of thought there for a minute *fans self*.....but how the joke is delivered, make or break a joke for me, and season 4 was soooo not funny.

[The RDDJ]

I just envisioned a writer-less season six with various cast members taking turns at a golden podium announcing winning plot twists as chosen by a representative pool of L-Word watchers. They could even shoot little clips (all improvised, of course) so we can get the visuals we crave and the plots we long for! And the winners are...

[Ripley18]

Lydia
Have you not heard, Rachel is out of the show from 504-511 comes back for the last episode? So what was IC and EZ listening too?

[Pebbles70]

Lydia

I totally agree with A-Rod because reading what's going to happen does never compare to actually seeing it. You might perceive a certain scene other than me. I mean let's get a little provocative here, LOL. You consider a certain scene HOT; you know what I mean, don’t you? After reading the scene without seeing it, it has a whole different meaning to me. To me it's not important whether it's hot or not but what moves me deeply is the "why". To me it's a crucial moment and it says a lot about what's going to happen after episode 8.
And if it weren't for the job, would you really have had the strength to keep away from the black bars?
Aren't we all addicts and therefore just weak? LOL