We're staying true. Somebody has to.

So did anyone watch The L Word last night? Or did you all catch the OurChart version last week so that you could be free to sleep through the Oscars on Sunday?

Either way, you probably found yourself nodding off. Neither show was particularly thrilling. But at least the L Word isn't navel-gazing and self-congratulatory. Um, wait a minute...

I mean, can we talk about the hell we put ourselves through just so that we can witness an "ultimately triumphant love story" between two women? OK, maybe we're not all in it for anything that grand. Maybe we just want to watch hip, hot lesbians having fun friendships and getting off.

But how ridiculous are we, the way we hurt our brains trying to come up with reasonable motivations and excuses for all those holes in the narrative? And how ridiculous that we have been engaged in this for five seasons?

Let's start with Bette and Tina, who both need to get bitch slapped right about now.  You're off, you're on, you're off again -- but without any real conversation about how you might actually feel about each other? Never mind how high the stakes are right now?  The fact you parent a child together? That you're both supposedly serious adults?  Tina, you're going to show up at Jodi's dinner even after Bette has come all the way out to the Lez Girls set to tell you how uncomfortable that would make her? Your  excuse for accepting the invitation from Jodi is that you thought Bette wanted you there as much as Jodi did. But Bette is standing here telling you she was shocked when she heard Jodi invited you, with a date, no less. 

Bette is practically begging you not to show up, and you're still gonna go? Like, why? It's not the event of the season. Not some big reunion for the extended family. It's just some small dinner to allow Jodi to show off her cooking skills and her hideous outfit.  How about just calling Jodi (or texting her or whatever is appropriate) and gracefully bowing out with some story about how tied up you are on the set?  I mean, honestly.

And can we talk about the actual dinner for a sec? So it's a small dinner for eight but everybody is already eating when Tina and Sam show up? Tacky. Even tackier is the fact that Shane and Molly get up right in the middle of dinner, without any excuses or announcements, grab a bottle of wine off the table and go outside to smoke and make out. Huh? Who does this?

And Tina, why would you bring a date up in Bette's face at this juncture? Here Bette has gone and done something way out of character (I know, I know, everybody on this show constantly does stuff that's out of character)  and actually shared some of her feelings with you. She's so conflicted. It's so written all over her face. The screwing around you have done behind Jodi's back has actually meant something to her. Can't you see that? She knows she needs to figure out a way to leave Jodi for you.

This is big, Tina. Why are you showing up at Bette's girlfriend's place with some random date you know you don't want anything to do with anyway. Aren't you past throwing a girl in Bette's face so she pays attention? Hello, she's paying attention. She just needs to figure out how to get back to you. And come on, not like you didn't push her away in the first place. Remember, Bett "f*cked up,'' she didn't "f*ck off." Now you're gonna look Bette in the eye and tell her you don't want to be the one to break up her and Jodi?  You might have thought about that before you threw yourself at Bette in the kitchen that steamy afternoon. And then did her again in your own bed. How much sneaking around have you two been doing, anyway? And why did you pass up a perfectly good opportunity to get it on in that trailer? But, seriously, I understand why you want Bette to take care of business on her own and why you don't want to be in the middle of this. But, guess what, you're in the middle. How about the two of you figure something out together, since you're so obviously seriously in love here.

Of course, once everyone leaves the room to check out Jodi's sculpture outside, you're gonna have a hard time keeping your hands off each other, even though you have just agreed to stop with the fooling around. Sigh. I know, love is complicated. And passion makes us stupid. Which is why, even though too often the L Word's storytelling makes us scream at our TV, we keep watching. It's a bad relationship for us, we know this. But we don't know how to quit it. We're as hooked as Bette and Tina. Let's just hope Bette's suggestion that they go see their old shrink leads to something positive.

As for Alice and Tasha.  Well, who knows what's going to happen next. Tasha has just had some last-minute epiphany about living her life with integrity. Although integrity is something she was glad to do without all these years. I mean, she fought to stay in a military that demanded she lie about some pretty fundamental stuff. And at the end of her Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell trial, she was guaranteed she could stay, which is all she ever wanted. All she had to do was go along with one more little lie. But instead, she gave it all up to shout her love for Alice. Aw. Let's hope she sticks to her guns later when she's out there in the cruel world without a J.O.B. and a girlfriend who essentially is still very different from her. Let's hope she's glad she put integrity first.

Certainly, nobody on the set of Lez Girls is worried about integrity. Which I guess is Ilene Chaiken's little stab at gay Hollywood. Does it make sense that Tina would be the first to suggest finding the lead actress a beard so that audiences believe she's straight?  I mean, Tina has been written as someone with fine dyke politics. Or, at least Tina  always believed she had fine dyke politics, even when she was screwing a man. Hey, at least she's always been out. You'd think she'd try to be some sort of catalyst for change in Hollywood. Side note: Can Bette really respect Tina for doing this sort of thing? I mean, Bette is hardly virtuous in love, but her politics have always been right on. She would never sweep her sexuality, or anybody else's, under the carpet for the sake of a paycheck. And here the love of her life and the mother of her child is being the kind of Hollywood scum she has always hated. But, whatever. Why dissect this?

I guess the message is, even today, in too many arenas, if you play by the rules and keep to the closet, you get to stay in the game. Like Niki in Hollywood. But if you bust out of the closet, you get drop-kicked from the life you want. Like Tasha in the Army.

But,  either way, I think I've just about reached my threshold on the Lez Girls drama. And you know what? Niki is annoying. There, I said it. I don't give a f*ck what happens to her. She's hot, sure. But she's stupid. And are we really buying that she's in love with Jenny?

Speaking of stupid. Shane certainly isn't. But she is uneducated, and going nowhere. Phyllis is not wrong about this. Not very nice of Phyllis to tell her LSAT-acing daughter that Shane is sort of beneath her. But, it's not an unreasonable thing for a mother to say.  Shane, you're having fun getting all the babes now. But an aging Fonz is not a pretty picture. You really should make something of yourself.

Though, I guess an Ivy League education and a serious career won't necessarily prevent you from being a cheating dog. Look at Dean Porter. 

 

Comments

[Teresa]

Hey I thought you were going Zen about this show. Watching TLW for logic or reason is a bit like watching Tom and Jerry to understand mouse/cat relationships.

Agree the episode was a bore; just treading water. Have not liked the whole DADT storyline, it's been done badly, and the ending was laughable.

And how stupid was it to have Tina suggest to Niki's agent that they needed a beard and he reacts in suprise!! Like he couldn't possible have thought of that by himslf. Is he stupid or do they just think the audience is.

Roll on next week at least we'll get some love in an elavator

[svalentineking]

it's a soap opera, do you really expect tight lines and stellar acting?

[svalentineking]

it's a soap opera, do you really expect tight lines and stellar acting?

[Sheri]

Sorry, but Bette is in the relationship with Jodi, Tina can see, date, fool around with anyone she wants to until Bette makes up her mind. She was invited to Jodi's dinner party and the only reason Bette doesn't want her there is because she was going to bring Sam. Bette would be fine to flaunt that she is still with Jodi, if Tina was the only one coming and not Sam. To Tina, as long as Bette is doing nothing about Jodi, they are having a fling, Bette may feel otherwise, but her actions say something different. Bette doesn't get a pass just because she says something, Bette always says alot of things, the problem is half the time she doesn't mean what she says.

[fantasmic]

Thanks Teresa for reminding us to stay Zen... and shame on you, Lydia, for not heeding your own advice :)

It's easier to tolerate the plot holes and WTF moments when TPTB throw us comedic gems (like Alice's smackdown of DD in 506 and her not so closet-ed rant after being banned from the Lez Girls set in 507) or show our gals hanging out together and having fun (like during the gym class in 504 and the party in 505). Both types of moments were sorely missed in 508... please bring back the campy fun and OTT funny to balance out the strum and drang that seem to be plaguing each of this season's romantic storylines.

As for B&T, I can understand their hesitation to take the leap and openly declare their true feelings for each other. They're haunted by their relationship history, scared not only of being rejected by the other person but also of the possibility that it may not work out the third time around.

All I have to say is that season five is two-thirds of the way through and that light at the end of the tunnel better be coming up soon for B&T (and the rest of us hopelessly devoted to this show).

[btfan2]

Laughed my ass off at your observations. There is a very wide divide in the L Word, between the storyline, design and the (and I use this word loosely)"writing" .(even though I did think this ep had better writing then the usual drival they spew.)
and the unfuckung believable talent of Jennifer Beals.

She has in my Opinion and yes its opinion almost given this disney story real creds.
Does anyone really think this little stinker would still be on the air without Jennifer.

I've been a harsh critic of the design and writing. But; as you have said in the past -who watches for the writing. I would if it existed. I watch for TiBette and mostly Bette. In the middle of ep6 in season 1 this little puppy went careening off the tracks to the land of OZ and real honest to god make believe mixed with some pretty fu@king amazing magic descended from the mist. I've always had a feeling that everything since then has been an inside joke between IC and EZ.

So its s5 with no s6 in sight and we're finally getting TiBette - I never believed it would make sense. If you really consider how they got here - there is no way to get back "there", that would ever make sense. At least its a consistent WTF.

Oh and thank you Niki(don't see the hot - dumb is never hot) is annoying and a very, very bad actress.

[Dutch/Juno]

The "dull" before the storm,that's how episode 8 struck me. The entire "Les Girls' s/l and its inside-the-industry jokes and attempts at self-deprecation might have been okay---even funny!--- as a mini arc, maybe two or three episodes...but for the entire season? blech! A poster somewhere else counted up screen time, and claims that Nikki has had more exposure than most of the rest of the cast combined! One positive in last night's script,was seeing KM have some decent lines to work with and something to do besides "pile-drive". Kate's got some acting chops, and a flair for comedy.('Wish the same could be said for poor Pam Grier---being given something to work with,I mean)

[lisalisa]

woe, lyd, take some zen pills. not that you are wrong about any of it, of course.

well, except for one thing. who wouldnt duck out of that lame dinner party to mack on molly under the guise of cigarette smoking?

[Ella]

WoW!
I don't even know where to start. I watched the complete seasons 1-4 in 2 weeks, because I was able to watch season 5 ep 1 in Ourchart. My mind was spinning with curiosity and I was totally lost in the storyline.So I decided that I needed more, something that would help understand what was going on. I have to say that after catching up I am still lost in translation. So many holes, cracks, WTF's, you name it. One thing is true though, I love Bette and Tina together with big dialogues(??) monologues(???), anything, whatever. They exude so much love, that I have to remind myself that this is Fiction. I guess witnessing so many couples go through their differences, cheatings,breakups, ups and downs, etc. I just want to believe that is is possible.. I want, I want, I want..
Don't get me wrong . I am coming out of a 10 year relationship and although we still love each other our path has changed; definitely love is not enough. I think for most of us it is the fairy tale that keep us watching sunday after sunday, but most of all I think is hope...
I am overwhelmed with emotions , my own and the ones coming from this show that like I said before has kept me sane and focus on something else than my own drama.
So, I take whatever IC offers me and I do fill in the blanks, the holes, and laugh out loud at all the WTF's. One thing: I heard or read that season 5 was the perfect book end to season 1, so far I have enjoyed the Love.

[beluga]

Been drinking the Bette koolaid again, L? LOL. Why ya raggin' so hard on Tina this week?

If you ask me, Tina backing out would make things even more suspicious than Bette was already behaving to Jodi in the onion scene. Bette was completely dishonest with Jodi about why she doesn't want Tina there, and you don't call her out on it. She confronts Tina but completely dodges the question when Tina asks her if she wants to break up with Jodi. In fact, Bette says she wants them to STOP.

After that, why shouldn't Tina show up with Sam? Tina's with no one, as she said. Bette's the one with Jodi. When Bette finally grows a pair and actually makes a decision, we can talk. In the meantime, Tina's playing her cards just right.

[Colorado gal]

Lydia,

Why so hard on Tina? She's doing the best she can in a difficult, emotionally messy situation. Especially, when you consider their history. Given the narrative so far, I'm sure Tina does question what all this means. Not only for herself, but for Bette as well.

I'm starting to warm up to the idea that Tina never dreamed Bette would actually leave Jodi. After all, in S4 she told Bette that she had met her match... "she's as accomplished, powerful, strong-willed, opinionated, blah, blah, blah". And, in 505 Bette did tell her she was in love with Jodi. That she adored, respected and admired her. Yes, Bette said it "didn't compare" but, that doesn't necessarily mean Bette is going to boot Jodi out of her bed and declare her undying love to Tina. As a matter of fact, Bette is still with Jodi. While the audience did get to see Bette mouth "I love you", Tina didn't.

Really, all Tina has done is allow herself to act on the feelings she has. Nothing more. Tina could be afraid to let herself get her hopes up. Maybe all Tina hoped for that afternoon was a chance to experience Bette one more time. I can believe Tina had not thought through the ramifications for her actions and the result was more than either expected. Now, both are having to deal with the consequences because it renewed and rekindled a very passionate love.

Were you able to ask Laurel Holloman what was going on in Tina's mind when she said "she didn't want to break up Bette and Jodi"? Cause, Tina knows full well she is right in the middle of the messy situation.

[ella]

Back to the subject. Without any of my stuff getting in the way. I think we have to keep a Zen attitude in all of this. Supposedly, these are two human beings trying to do everything possible to have a relationship work their own way. In reality this is hard, honestly who can say that everything has come along as planned, let along as dreamed. I like the idea of trying everything, everything.. to see if at the end the sacrifices and the mistakes bring us to something beautiful.
I do see all the flaws in the story lines, all the holes in the writing, I even see where the actors have to give so much more because of the WTf's, but at the end I am happy to see a show that offers diversity, that tries to capture the essence of my life; that captives me and tons of people an keeps me/us waiting for more.

[Lydia Martin]

Hey Teresa,

You're right, it's all about staying Zen. Sorry, I forgot my own admonition for a second there.

[Lydia Martin]

svalentineking,

i have to keep saying it like a mantra: it's a soap opera, it's a soap opera, it's a soap opera...

[Lydia Martin]

Sheri, Beluga and Colorado,

i didn't think I was being particularly hard on tina. more on the way the story is written. i think it's just not terribly believable that tina would accept this invitation. in the real world, if you're having an affair with your ex, and your ex's girlfriend invites you to dinner, you would hesitate to say yes. simply because it would be awkward to be there. and why put yourself through that? why watch the woman you love be all over her new gf? even if you thought your ex wanted you there. in fact, you might even call your ex and say, "wow, on top of everything else, you're trying to get me to sit at your new gf's table like nothing is going on? that's totally disrespectful to me. and your gf.''

but then, actually, your ex tells you, "dude, I would have never invited you. you being there would be really uncomfortable.''

actually, i would prefer to know my ex wouldn't be able to coldy sit there between me and the woman we're cheating on together. i mean, if you had any respect, for yourself and everybody else in this picture, you'd make your excuses and not show up. it would just be weird to be there, pretending nothing is up. you're already lying about it generally, and that's bad enough, but you wouldn't look for extra opportunities to put yourself in a stressful, painful situation. like i said before, it wasn't some big event, not bette or angie's bday, not a big extended family event. not something you just couldn't miss without red flags going up.

i think the more dignified thing is to not want to be there, for your own sake. but especially when your ex is saying she wishes you hadn't accepted the invitation.

and yeah, i agree that tibette's in a tough situation all around and that there is no right way to go about any of this. and i also agree that bette is the one doing too much hesitating and that tina has no reason to believe that bette is ready to make things right between them. all the more reason to stay away from that stupid little dinner.

not that bette's in the right, either. and, since bette can't seem to grow a pair and do what she needs to do, then i don't blame tina for going out with sam. why not? but why take her to jodi's, of all places? even when you're cheating, a little elegance goes a long way. just for your own sake.

[Lydia Martin]

Ella,

You're absolutely right. All of the reasons you mention is why I keep watching, and why everybody else does, too, I'm sure. But hey, it's become great sport to bitch about this show. God knows it's easy. In the end, yeah, we all do love it, even with its flaws. It's just too bad there are so many of them.

[Lydia Martin]

lisalisa,

you've got zen pills? share the wealth.

[Lydia Martin]

Dutch,

So true about PG. She's down to just some background jive. She's more cartoonish than Papi.

[Lydia Martin]

btfan, fantasmic:

totally true. thanks for reminding me. there is plenty good about the show. like tibette getting reunited (no matter their path). and we have to remember not to sweat the small stuff.

[beluga]

Thanks Lydia!

A note on the dyke politics of Tina suggesting a beard for Nikki. Tina's job as a producer is to get the movie made. The movie itself is an overall positive for lesbian politics. Tina has to sacrifice one thing to get the other done.

Nikki is a starlet whose managers will pull her out of the movie if the rumors don't die down. (Which I should note is a consequence of Jenny and Nikki's irresponsible behavior.) The priority is the movie. So yeah, Tina made a cold, calculated decision. But her goal is still to make a movie that's a big step forward for lesbian representation in the media. The bottom line is that the movie gets made. Feels very true-to-Hollywood. I lurve it. Hee.

As for Shane and Molly? Well, Molly has been a rude and entitled brat from basically the minute we met her. And didn't Jodi set up this whole dinner so Shane can make a pass at Molly? But yeah, leaving in the middle of dinner is totally rude. I'm just not surprised because it's Molly. She's lucky she's cute.

[FrenchLady]

Hi Lydia,

You are right, we all love this show, and that's why we can’t keep a Zen attitude about it. The flaws is going to kill next season, I can smell it!

We should book a Charter to see Dan. A group session and We could call it: TLW "The Lydia Waggon"

Did you saw JB last night on the Late Late Show; she gave a little bit of her opinion regarding the…not so great scripts. (Poor JB she looked so nervous, but classy and beautiful as always). Without knowing our conversations, she might gave us an unexpected answer (or change our vision) on the fact that she might really be turned on while doing love scenes. She clearly expressed that her most relaxing activity is “making out”. Hum! Something to think about!

Notice how she’s always flirting with men when being interview by them. It must be a strategie, a little wake up call for dreamers...
And here’s a scoop, if you want to see JB getting undress, next summer is your chance, well… at the cost of doing an Olympic Triathlon (I didn’t say it, she did) Better start training soon!!

I can agree more with btfan2, if JB wasn’t there forget TLW would be already dead.
Maybe they should consider doing a show with only JB & LH. Once there was “Laverne & Shirley”. So, why not a “Bette & Tina”!

[Lydia Martin]

Hi FrenchLady,

I did watch JB on Craig Ferguson. Why does she always flirt with him? She has curious taste in men. It does sort of feel like she goes overboard affirming that she started out straight and has stayed straight after five years on the L Word. Not that I doubt her at all. Why should an acting job change something as essential as her sexuality? But seems like she needs to keep putting that out there, like she's worried viewers will think she's a big dyke now because she has done so many kissing scenes with women. I guess some viewers are that simple. Or maybe it's just that interviewers drive her there with all their stupid questions.

Either way, I agree with you guys. She's unquestionably the star of the show.

And I don't know about chartering a trip to see Dan. Dan didn't really help TiBette very much. They broke up and went through years of drama after seeing him. If we go, we'll all just end up even more dysfunctional. : )

[RDDJ]

Hey Lyds,

Thanks to the miracle of YouTube, I've seen the last couple of episodes of the L-Word. Keep those Zen pills on hand, because something tells me that the TiBette chain is just going to keep on yanking. I mean, what else do we really tune in for? Alice is as cool and lovely as ever...nice job putting old Colonel Kelly in her dyke-o-rama place. Funny, funny...but, of course, then we get the pat pablum of Tasha outing herself in the name of LUVVV. Awww. But still, it's Alice, so, it's ok. I wish they'd get rid of that stupid TV show she's supposed to be on...the Look, right? And Cybill/Phyllis is still fun & funny, but the Molly and Shane storyline...come on! I don't know, I just was totally over Shane and her hair in this episode and had no connection whatsoever with her sudden burning desire to be in love with this girl who for some reason is unlike any other she's ever met even though she's slept with every girl ever. Too bad she didn't just marry Carmen and then maybe the show could have worked on a couple of like, real, relationships. Hmm. What a concept. Lez Girls can have fun, but they can also be in working relationships. Wow. But wait! I'm thinking like...like maybe I should jump on over to a fan fiction site and get to work!

All of the "Lez Girls"-related scenes seemed totally improvised, and not in a good way. Was that just the You Tube effect or did they look like that on real tv? Awful, and really, really dumb. I mean, as I know has already been discussed...how shocking could it really be to a pair of hollywood lesbos if one is in the closet and her agent tells her to take a man to a party. Puhleeez! All that weeping and drama?? DUH! And...I also agree that the Jenny/Nikki love connection is barely believable at all...Nikki to Jenny, "I want to have your babies." Ha ha. Just not really compelling in any way. TiBette however, does remain as compelling as ever...lovely, lovely...Tina's hot, hot, hot...Bette's all conflicted and torn. Sigh! So good. And, interesting, how sympathetic I've suddenly become for Jodi. Who'd have thunk it?

Well, I guess that's about it for this visit...keep that Lydia Wagon a rollin', and props to ...whoever it is that has been so diligent to post the videos You Tube every week.

[Lydia Martin]

Hey RDDJ!

Long time. Yeah, I agree on the Jodi front. I feel bad for her. I mean, it's not every day somebody as hot as Dean Porter steals some huge sign off a building, flies it across the country, hitches it to the back of a trailer and rides into the sticks to find you on your artist work site and give you the sign as a declaration of -- well, not much I guess. If I had been Jodi, I woulda thought we had something going after that. But, nah. Bette got over Jodi pretty much the minute she got back home and saw Tina again.

You'd think that sign and the huge gesture behind it would somehow be referenced this season, but I have the feeling it'll just be ignored, like so many other major parts of the story.

Anyway, I'm intrigued by the idea of your fan fiction. Would you write a TiBette story? Tell us more, tell us more.

[Sue]

Hi Lydia,

Funny you should mention how Jennifer Beals seems to be trying really hard to convince people she's not gay by flirting with her male hosts. If she's so worried that people will think she's gay then why is she asking all of the lesbians on OurChart to send in their questions about gay/lesbian issues so she can pose them to the chair of Barack Obama's LGBT policy committee? Is she using the lesbian community to push her own agenda or does she really care about gay/lesbian issues? She really seems to but care, but it kind of makes you wonder.