As episode 602 opens, Niki is having a soap opera fit about Jenny's morning-after diss -- "You are dead meat Schecter! Dead!" -- and already, I've having that awful feeling. You know the one. It signals that the romance is way over and you're ready to move on. If only there were another lesbian show to leave the L Word for.
Because truth be told, I'm watching the L Word's final season out of a sense of duty and history. We've been through so much together, after all. But it's not really where I want to be anymore. I'm just not into this show the way I was when the relationship was all about discovery and promise. After six years, I know too much. There have been too many WTFs to just sweep them under the carpet. I can't pretend this show is something it's not. I can't keep hoping something is going to change. I mean, hello. Jenny is dead, we're going to be subjected each week to another L Word character saying some hackneyed sh*t along the lines of “Jenny Schecter, I could just kill you!’’ And Max is pregnant, which is something I really can’t even talk about because, I mean, are the writers f*cking serious? My eyes just might roll right out of my head before we get anywhere near the finale. And I hate to repeat myself, but what’s the point of a whodunit when you’ve already told us what’s up with Alice and that spinoff?
But what’s really tragic is that I’m so not feeling this show these days that -- well, I can barely get riled about Bette's ridiculous blouses anymore.
That half-sleeve Rumba Pirate situation she was rocking last night may have been the worst of the stupid blouses. And yet, I couldn’t muster any outrage. It isn’t just that I’ve suffered through one gay blouse too many and have lost my will to snark. It’s more that I made a terrible mistake recently. I actually asked Jennifer Beals when I was on the phone with her what she thought of those blouses we have all hated. She was saying how much she loved the wardrobe and how she has taken a bunch of stuff home over the years and I don’t know why I had to go there, but I did.
“What did you think of all those billowy blouses?,” I made the mistake of asking.
“I still wear some of them,’’ Jennifer said. “I love them. I think they’re great. They’re fantastic. Maybe I don’t wear a whole outfit, but I’ll wear one with jeans.’’
Great. Another bubble bursts.
But there is a little something to hang on to. In a recent interview with Ilene Chaiken, I asked her if she agreed Jennifer is looking more butch than ever this season.
“Bette was always convincing,’’ Ilene said. “I always would have said she was butch. She’s definitely into fashion. But she’s definitely a butch character and Jennifer really embraces it. But yes, she’s definitely more buff this year. When you see the finale, check out what Bette is wearing. It’s so indicative of how well Jennifer knows her character. She chose what she was wearing and it was just perfect. It was classic Bette for me.’’
So what did Jennifer pick from the L Word closet?
“I just wanted to get back to who Bette was at her core,’’ Jennifer says. “A power suit with cufflinks.’’
Moving right along to the WTFs this episode.
So Bette had a roommate in college she had the hots for. They made out even though the roommate was straight. Clearly, they were pretty close for a bunch of years. Now that former roommate is standing in front Bette and Bette has no clue who the woman is? WTF? I mean, they even establish that Tina has heard all the stories about the roommate. She’s not someone Bette never thought about again. She’s the straight girl who got away. But Bette doesn’t recognize her? OK. Whatever. Bette and Kelly might as well get it on, too. Why not? You know whack sh*t is bound to happen, even to TiBette. There’s no point in getting worked up about any of it.
As for Shane and Jenny, I don’t see why everybody is so scarred about this hook up. Shane and Jenny had one of those near-miss situations back in the Carmen days, didn’t they? Didn’t they flirt with the idea of threesome? Shenny sort of makes sense. I’ll buy it for a minute.
What I won’t buy is that Alice and Tasha go to a shrink and the shrink (even if it is the lame Dan, who never did a thing to help Bette and Tina with their issues) blurts out during their first session that they really shoudn’t be together because they have nothing in common? Simply.would.not.happen.
As for Helena and Dylan. Well, you need some serious couch time if you go back to the b*tch who schemed to extort money from you while she was pretending to be into you. But hey, a little hot and heavy Helena-Dylan action would be fun enough. Who cares that the story line is implausible, especially the way the L Word will surely tell it? Helena Peabody is just plain lovely to look at, whether she’s bouncing some girl out of her nightclub or getting in Dylan’s face in the parking lot or being dysfunctional eniugh to pick up here she left off with this psycho b*tch.
Oh yeah. Bette was definitely flirting with her former roommate, and we should give props to Tina for addressing it without creating drama around it. But that little TiBette nookie moment would have been way hot if it hadn’t been way short. Where the hell is the sex this year?
Oh well. Two episodes down, six to go.
Amen!
Good article.
It feels like people are slowly beginning to see this show for what it really is. A for the most part badly written little soap opera with an incapable egomaniac at the helm.
Leave it to IC to still think she's the next best thing to sliced bread while every sane person out there complains about and looses interest in her little show.
And yeah, I've had a hunch that JB might actually be into those frilly ridiculous blouses. Oh my.
inv
Posted by: invisigoth | January 26, 2009 at 03:37 PM
Ah, Lydia, not even your special pills are gonna make a difference for me this Season! I, too, watch more out of a sense of obligation rather than with ANY enthusiasm. As for the way they dress JB(and frankly, I didn't buy her response to you. 'Sounded more politic than true.),I think the wardrobe people's taste is all in their mouths! But last night, I was even more upset with the folks who did her make-up. They made her look garish! Like a 1940's gun moll. And not to be picky (lol), what sloppy editing! In the TiBette bedroom scene, suddenly Bette's wearing pants instead of the skirt she had on a second before... anyway, so glad you're here. 'Hate to sit Shiva alone....sigh
Posted by: dutch/juno | January 26, 2009 at 04:59 PM
OK...I had to stop reading at "Max is pregnant." That's just ...well, that's just enough WTF for me right now. Oh, Lydia, you are a brave and valiant L-Words guide.
So, while we're on the subject of pregnant Max and jumping sharks, I heard recently that some sharks are actually capable of asexual reproduction. Not exactly sure how that fits here, but somehow, I just feel that it does.
Ciao!
Posted by: RDDJ | January 26, 2009 at 05:38 PM
Lydia:
ROFLMAO!
I am not even going to mention 602, yet. It's too... (*speechless*)
But what I will do, is tell you that I love your article (still laughing- LOL). You are brilliant, ahh(*sigh*) if only they had a talented writer like you on the show, the stories would be different. This show is about IC's huge, cosmological ego, period.
Posted by: ella | January 26, 2009 at 05:52 PM
Lydia
Well here we go. I'm getting more info and more scene time not having showtime then I did when I actually paid for this little circus act.
I'm kinda like you I can't even get indigent anymore. That outfit Bette was in last night was soooo bad. OMFG NO self respecting lezzbo would be caught dead in that crap. I'm so happy I'm not the only one hating on Bette's cloths as well as her behavior. IC wants to poop on us and now there's nothing to stop her. What she didn't count on is most of us don't care anymore. IC here's some xlax go for it..
The sex/love hmm.. scene between Bette and Tina was the only one between them ever that just wasn't believable. It was stiff, forced and so very NOT sexy. ugh.. IC even had to ruin that. GEEZE
I can't comment on the "story", I'm still waiting for it to be written.
Good news is I don't care all that much and there is Helena to enjoy. She is quite the hottie and dresses like she's from this galaxy so i do recognize her as a fellow earthling. Dylan is a sick f@@k but; she's a hottie too - so I can deal. Come on Lydia this is going to one of the few remaining hot girl on hot girl tryst we have left. I've never had an emotional thing with this pair so the hot out weights the lack of plot.(did you notice that rhymes)
Pregnant Maxi Pad, I just can't go there. Maxi Pad and Tommy Cringe are so not believable, so boring and so just creepy that I can't let my guard down long enough to try and understand. This could have been the most compelling and enlightening story on tlw instead it is just a cosmological joke. That facial hair freaks me out so much I just can't look.
Haven't seen the Jenny - Shane thingy yet, but; gosh I've been creeped out enough for now...
Posted by: btfan2 | January 26, 2009 at 06:47 PM
You know its over when all you feel is indifference. Sigh... No need to get riled up over anything IC does. She's one f**ked up crazy lady.
Posted by: colorado fan | January 26, 2009 at 08:17 PM
btfan2 - I agree with you. That was the first sex scene between Bette and Tina that felt forced and didn't ring true for me. Sad.
Posted by: colorado fan | January 26, 2009 at 08:20 PM
Btfan and colorado fan:
I know exactly what you mean about the sex or non sex scene . It lacked the "shush" that Shane talked about in S5.
Btfan, I always laughed so much at your descriptions of this "cosmological joke".
Colorado fan, I feel the same way: indifference towards this season suck.
Posted by: ella | January 26, 2009 at 10:36 PM
You're so right, Lydia. It's so hard to even care anymore what happens to anyone this season. Ilene and her enormous ego have managed to kill any enthusiasm I might still have had for the final season. Shenny, pregnant Max, Alice and Tasha on the skids with that horrible shrink reappearing again. Whatever.
I liked the TiBette love scene, I just wish it was longer. I hated Bette's makeup and clothes though. Hilarious that JB actually likes those blouses!
But WTF, why do I have to sit through another story involving Bette and possible cheating, when OFF SCREEN, Tina and Bette apparently have moved in together again, decided to adopt a baby, and are expanding their house? When did all that happen? I know you like stories about cheating, but gimme a break Ilene. Enough already.
Posted by: Beluga | January 27, 2009 at 12:07 AM
Hi Lydia,
"Now that former roommate is standing in front Bette and Bette has no clue who the woman is? WTF? "
Maybe she had a lot of plastic surgery and doesn't look the same as she did 20 years ago. Hey they are in LA afterall. ;)
Posted by: Sue | January 27, 2009 at 11:10 AM
hello lydia, have you heard about exes and ohs, an other lesbian tv show?... maybe you can see that after the end of the l word....
Posted by: emmanuaile | January 27, 2009 at 12:52 PM
Okay, I know that none of us really want to talk about it... or even really care, but the storyline about Max is so off the chart of reality, that I've got to say something.
I've known a few FTM transgendered people, and this is so effing unreal. There is no way in heaven or hell any one of them would allow that kind of intercourse. It's almost disrespectful!
Ah well. I'm sure it's happened somewhere, but it doesn't really honor the character... Oh, wait. The L Word doesn't do that...
Posted by: Shelly | January 27, 2009 at 02:13 PM
Hi Invisigoth,
JB was like, "What do you mean? What's wrong with those blouses?" She didn't get at all that they are all awful. Oh well. This is the least of our problems.
Posted by: Lydia Martin | January 28, 2009 at 07:57 AM
Dutch, That's a good one. Sitting shiva alone. It really does feel that way, doesn't it?
Posted by: Lydia Martin | January 28, 2009 at 07:59 AM
RDDJ! Welcome back. I guess if there are sharks that f*ck themselves there's gotta be sharks that jump themselves. I think IC may be one of those, come to think of it.
Posted by: Lydia Martin | January 28, 2009 at 08:04 AM
btfan, you are so right. this is the first tibette sex scene that didn't overwhelm with its hotness. wonder if it's a sign of things to come.
Posted by: Lydia Martin | January 28, 2009 at 08:07 AM
Ella,
Thanks for the kind words. The show may suck, but at least we can entertain ourselves snarking about it.
Posted by: Lydia Martin | January 28, 2009 at 08:10 AM
Hi Beluga,
Good point. At the end of season five, Bette and Tina were talking about taking it slow and not knowing which house they were going to live in. All of a sudden they have a real plan for adopting a baby and putting a second floor on their WeHo house? How much time is supposed to have passed? I guess it doesn't matter to the writers than most of their plotlines make such little sense that they immedietely take the viewers out of the story.
Posted by: Lydia Martin | January 28, 2009 at 08:14 AM
Sue,
Yeah, the roommate could have changed her hair color and had some surgery. But still, that seemed stupid to me. There was no reason to have Bette standing there looking at her blankly and Berkely going, ''You really don't remember me?'' I mean, come on.
Posted by: Lydia Martin | January 28, 2009 at 08:28 AM
Shelly,
All things are possible. But the Max character has always been silly, just a caricature. Like Papi. Or even Kit. Hard to get into Max's drama because Max has never been much of a real person, the way he has been written. Just a puppet for the writers to wave around and use to spout a few cliche lines about transgender issues.
Posted by: Lydia Martin | January 28, 2009 at 08:35 AM
emmanuaile,
i have seen exes and ohs. but i think that show got canceled. i could be wrong. anyway, welcome to the l words!
Posted by: Lydia Martin | January 28, 2009 at 08:36 AM
Hi everyone,
I've been reading parts of the L-word question and answer series with Ilene Chaiken on Showtime. Her comments about her vision for the show and for the characters are so heartfelt and logical that I'm no longer going to strongly criticize the show.
I honestly don't know what happens between the ideas on paper and the final result that we're all watching but I think Ilene Chaiken really cares about her show and her fans.
The fans talk about how hard Ilene Chaiken is on them but do they realize how hard they're being on her? Many bloggers have gotten personal and called her arrogant, a talentless hack, etc. I would never feel comfortable judging someone like that.
I do wish the show was better but I'm no longer blaming Ilene Chaiken because there are a lot of reasons why the end result is less than desirable. I'm thankful for what they've all accomplished.
Posted by: Sue | January 31, 2009 at 11:25 AM
Sue
It's called spin. IC "IS" the reason the show is less then outstanding. You can bet your bippy that if it was nominated for an Emmy any Emmy she would be center stage taking all the credit.
Any time tlw is getting press seems her mug is right in the middle of it all. She has made sure everyone and I mean everyone knows she's in charge.
When your in the public eye, taking flak is one of the reasons you make big money. Sports stars, politicians, entertainers, and even those unknowns that are getting their 15 min of fame get called names, most of them a lot worse then anything IC has been called.
IMHO she has earned most of them and they fit nicely, could they be hurled more gently and with a little more class - sure.
But; then IC stands center stage and almost invites the ridicule. Attention junkies don't care much if it's positive or negative attention as long as their getting it.
Because you can always spin it you way, sooner or later.
I thank IC for tlw, but; I will always blame her for its unparalleled mediocrity. It could have been so much more -- shame....
Just an opinion
Posted by: btfan2 | February 01, 2009 at 10:39 AM
I understand your point BtFan and appreciate your thoughts. We should by all means criticize the show if the writing is poor (which it is), but I see no need to get personal and resort to name-calling.
How well do any of us know Ilene? Have you sat and had in-depth converations with her because I haven't. The closest I came was stading 2 feet from her and JHennifer Beals as they walked past my table at a Cleveland bar while they campaigned for Obama in Ohio. They came across as very kind and gracious people that are passionate about what they believe in. Other than that I know nothing about them. I don't feel comfortable judging people soley on what I see on television and in interviews and awards shows.
That's my only point. I understand spin. We should by all means criticize it. I understand the media and marketing. We should by all means analyze and judge it.
But I'm not going to call someone that I don't know an "egomaniac" and an "incompetent, talentless hack." We can judge their work and practices without getting personal.
That's what I was driving at.
Posted by: Sue | February 01, 2009 at 11:29 AM
Sue
I agree with you. All the ugly is not needed. Since this is the only thing we have had that even remotely resembles our lives and it seems nothing is coming along to fill the void, people are sensitive and hurt.
I don't believe IC is evil or a bad person, even though I do believe she is not always honest. I can't throw rocks because I have no idea what she goes through or what pressure is being brought on by the suits.
I do believe that she had enough control over what went on to make this show better and she didn't. Was it lack of talent, lack of vision, or some other reason guess we'll never know.
I do know she placed herself right out front and took every opportunity to promote herself, so good or bad she gets tagged with everything else that goes with being #1.
I also know had i been in charge everyone would know what a talentless hack really is. I sure couldn't have done what she's done. That won't keep me from complaining.
Posted by: btfan2 | February 01, 2009 at 03:48 PM
If IC breaks up Tina and Bette in the finale, I must disagree --- she is a bad person.
Posted by: craic hoor | February 09, 2009 at 08:49 PM