Jenny is dead and her friends are sitting around the house looking pretty blasé as her body is wheeled out -- no body bag, no blanket over her face, no nada. But before you can really work up any emotion about any of this, you're back to the Season Five finale and Jenny has that mike in her hand at the party for Les Girls. And not only are you annoyed because the fine writers behind this show decided to waste so much time repeating scenes and dialogue from last year, but you're instantly reminded just how excrutiating Jenny can be.
Her friends aren't crying any rivers over her death and neither are you. You're also not the slightest bit surprised or moved by this major plot twist because Showtime went to great trouble making sure we knew walking in that Jenny dies and that Alice takes the rap, thus setting up a possible spinoff starring Alice in the can. Showtime told us all of this even though the whole season is set up as a whodunit.
This might have stopped me cold, but I'm a veteran L Word fan. I don't stay baffled long. I shake it off and dig on whatever I can. A sexy visual here, an enlighted bit of acting there.
Which brings us to how good Mia Kirshner is. Watch her exchange with Shane before she hurls that lamp at her and you're reminded that the woman should get a medal for managing to deliver such an amazingly quirky, batty, fragile Jenny, given what she's had to work with.
And let's thank Mia for that hot sex scene with Nikki. You didn't think it was that hot? Here's some friendly advice: Go back and watch it again, suspend everything you need to suspend about the writing, about how ridiculous Nikki is, etc. and try to get off on Jenny shredding the dumb starlet's back with her nails and getting her on her knees.
Honestly, take the sex where you can in Season Six. For one, it looks like Bette and Tina are focused on playing mommy and other mommy, now that they've settled down again and don't have to try so hard the way people do when they're trying to seal the deal (you think this couple is going to bother with messy, uncomfortable elevator sex again?)
Which brings us to Jennifer Beals and perhaps some of her best acting when she's ripping into that homophobic hospital employee. And those arms. Damn. I guess all that training Jennifer did for her Olympic-distance triathalon really paid off. For us.
Will Bette really stay faithful to Tina this time? Again, it's probably better not to sweat the details of an L Word plot line. I'd rather think about the fact that Jennifer is looking hotter than ever, and that each year, she gets butchier and butchier.
And how cute are Shane and Bette -- the original bad girls -- vibing on the challenges of keeping a b*tch?
But here's a burning question: What the hell is in that ratty Whole Foods bag that Shane is dragging around? I guess whatever Jenny threw at her. But if Shane had five minutes to gather some essentials before fleeing, what would she throw in that bag? My money is on some hair product, her trusty strap-on and a change of clubwear.
Another burning question: What does Pam Greer actually think of the lame lines that are written for her? That scene toward the end of the episode where she actually gets to string together some real words when she's giving Shane advice doesn't begin to make up for all times she's been used as nothing more than sassy black girl comic relief. Honestly. The way Kit's character is written borders on the insulting. One more ethnic caricature. Remember Papi?
Hey! Here she is, all Latin and sh*t in her Latin crib filled with Latin crap. And she's up to her old tricks. Speaking of old tricks, Gabby Deveaux is in Papi's bed, making crazy noise. Cuz, you know, she's getting it Latin style. Whatever. I was amused enough seeing those two again for a second. And since I no longer get hung up on the details, it's all good.
Alice and Tasha? The whole "We don't have nothing in common" thing got old before it got going. But Leisha Hailey and Rose Rollins are cute and engaging whether they're laughing or f*cking. So that's all good, too.
As for Helena. I still say it's too bad she and Bette never tangled. Because, again, at this point I'm just in it for the hot girl-on-girl visuals. If I have to watch Bette do it with Elizabeth Berkley's character, I'll try my best to get into that, too. Yes, I've been a hopeless TiBetter from day one. But I have risen above. It's the only line of defense. I'm focusing on getting the hotness where I can. And so should you. The show is gonna be off the air in seven more episodes and there's no other lesbian show to take its place.
OK, there might be a spinoff. But Showtime hasn't decided if it's actually going to pick it up yet. And even if it does, the powers have made it clear that the spinoff wouldn't be a lesbian show, but a show with some lesbians in it.
My only hope is that Helena, who's been on the inside, gets a chance to impart some knowledge on poor Alice, who's going down. And not in a good way.
Notice how I haven't mentioned Max. I'm gonna stay in denial about Max for as long as possible.
One more thing. The theme song. It still sucks.