Why isn’t Jenny dead yet? Forget ripping off the screenplay idea from Alice, hiding Molly’s love letter in the attic, probably stealing the Les Girls negative, lobotomizing Shane and messing up Helena’s good thing with Dylan.
Now she’s got Max at some weird throne in a bizarre getup for his baby shower. As if Max needed any help looking like a freakshow. And no, I’m not being anti-tranny. I’m just being anti…well, you know. At this point, I’m not bailing on the L Word and its ridiculous, mind-numbing storytelling because it’s the final season and we’re only two episodes away from being put out of our miseries.
I know many of you are doing your best to enjoy whatever scraps you can. And I don’t blame you for hanging in there. I’ve tried. But, really, I’m tired of having to make do with scraps. Like the Alice-Tasha-Jamie triangle business, which did yield a hot little moment on the couch between Alice and Tasha. But it was over much too quickly. And why hit us over the head with the fact that Jamie is just feet away, naked and in the shower and hearing everything, when you’re not going to go anywhere with that?
And wait – these three are supposed to be so inseparable all of a sudden, right? So why are Alice and Tasha acting like they had no idea their crush has a dog? OK, maybe Talice had never visited Jamie's apartment. But in all their time together she never mentioned having to get home to walk the dog or anything?
Whatever. At least Bette is once again in fighting form now that she’s back in her element, mackin’ at her own gallery opening. Yeah, she made a pretty hot dean. But academia can be so stuffy. So many rules. Bette’s a lot sexier prowling around a room full of art snobs with a glass of champagne in her hand. And I don’t want to ever hear her tell Tina she didn’t flirt big-time with her ex-roommate Kelly. She pours it on thick anytime she’s anywhere near Kelly. But, I say bring on a cheating Bette. Why not? It may be wrong. But it’s definitely more fun than watching Max having a pregnant man hormone meltdown.
Though, gotta give Bette credit for stopping Kelly cold when she showed up at the house later, bubbly in hand. Awww. Bette is so in love with her baby mama she just can’t kiss another girl, not anymore, not even to cash in on the little somethin’-somethin’ she had been begging for since she and Kelly were just college kids.
I suppose I’m glad Bette kept it in her pants. Though, since I’m not really following the inept storylines anymore because (well, what’s the point of that?) I would have been perfectly happy to watch Beals get it on with Elizabeth Berkley. Especially since they’re supposed to be BFFs in real life and all. Which begs the question: isn’t JB an Ivy-leaguer? Isn’t she supposed to be brilliant and deep and everything? Like, what do she and Berkley talk about?
Never mind. Now I’m just being mean. They do have some chemistry together, I’ll give them that. I’ll also give points to Joyce for sending that text to Phyllis talking about how boring Tina and Bette were. No s---! How can you take the couple that delivered major explosives last season and sideline them for most of the final season? Major waste.
But, hey! I’m perking up because the series is almost over. It fell apart at the end, but I’ll always remember the good times. And according to the spoiler stuff out there, it looks like there will be a short TiBette moment to rejoice in before the series signs off for good. Which is a good thing, because I’m still trying to erase images of the bearded, big-bellied Max contemplating the breast pump thingie.
A happy little TiBette scene might just do the trick. See, I don’t ask for much. Not anymore. Except, please, somebody kill Jenny already. Seriously. Except, what will the girls do with Sounder once his crazy master has moved on to her big dirt nap?