Step off, Rocky Horror Picture Show! The L Word is finally so bad it's (almost) good.

I had a breakthrough watching 607!  The secret to watching the L Word is partaking in enough mood-altering substances to make the whole thing feel like one big gag with sophomoric, funny(ish), sometimes even sexy visuals. Forget the story. There is no story. There never really was a story.  The series is  finally crossing over into So Bad It’s Good territory. And now it's just about over. Bummer. But, hey! Somebody spark one up and pass it.

 

 All the better to enjoy  Pam Grier’s nod to her own Blaxploitation past. She is a  bad mofo in a fro!   Who cares that in six whole seasons, Grier was barely given one set of decent lines to string together?  Her ghetto gab is all dat, gurrrrl. So what if her character was nuthin' but Ebonic comic relief?   Let me pour another Goose and soda,  cuz this is all such a gas! And  Kit with Sunset Blvd.?  Who can be mad at two queens cut from the same cloth and made for each other in caricature heaven!  Love indeed is grand.

 

Look! Now the gang is line dancing all groovy like!  In funky costumes, yet.   Wait a minute. Why the f*ck is Jodi telling Bette that Kelly confirmed Jenny’s stupid gossip about Bette creepin’ while Tina was in New York? When would Kelly have told Jodi jack?  They don’t hang out. And  it doesn’t look like Kelly is in the club right now. Plus, why would Kelly tell Jodi a stupid lie? Jodi can only be making that sh*t up. Not that any L Word writer thought to follow up that idiotic exchange with anything valid at all. We’re just supposed to get caught up in the drama of Bette’s  ex confronting her to say she’s glad she dodged the Cheatin' Porter bullet. Just for fun. So let's just go there!

 

How about Alice, Tasha and Jamie working out their three-way sexual frustrations in their Salt-n-Pepa gear? Ahaha! Seriously, Tasha did bring it. Gotta give her that.

 

Hey, this is all so camptastic!  It’s time to start shouting sh*t at the screen like  it’s the lesbo Rocky Horror Picture Show. Why not? It’s not like the powers behind the  L Word were even pretending to worry about character development, plot, continuity, anything at all but giving us some sight gags to giggle at.

 

 Too bad the camp is too little and too late.

 

Check out Marlee Matlin’s character doing her Dancing with the Stars routine. But on the L Word! With a girl dance partner instead of a guy dance partner.  How cool is that? Who cares that they probably built this whole episode around a dance contest to show off Marlee’s dancing skills and to get out of actually writing something half  reasonable about anything at all to do with the story the rest of us have been trying to follow.  And after Jodi wins the dance contest, she says something by way of a b*tch slap to Bette: “We all start every day and promise ourselves blah blah blah. The problem is the execution.’’ Which Bette, because she all of a sudden is the most dense  b*tch on the planet, takes as a moment of happy closure with her ex. Aww, look, Bette wants to hug it out even though Jodi  is continuing her insanity about Kelly. Yes, that’s a bizarre reaction from Bette in that moment. There was nothing prompting a hug there. But, then again, I'm being a  stickler for reasonable writing again. My bad.

 

I guess it doesn’t matter that JB was directed to act like these two have just worked their shit out when THAT”S NOT WHAT WAS HAPPENING ON THE SCREEN AT ALL.  Not when this episode cranked some cool retro tunes and we got to see Shane hotly pushing Niki against that bathroom wall and…huh? If you stop to think about it, it’s totally out of character for Shane to be getting nasty with Niki of all people, and when Jenny is right there in the club. I mean, sure, Shane was established as the Don Juan of the gang. But she was also supposed to do right by her friends and loved ones. That’s why we all loved the character. She was a player but her heart was in the right place. There was a certain emotional elegance to her. Even when she left Carmen at the altar, she did it out of misguided decency. But this thing with Niki, well it doesn’t make any sense at all and…

 

Hey,  Bette and Tina doing the tango in glitter gowns was pretty sexy.  Though it would have been cooler of they could actually DANCE. But that doesn’t matter, because they sure do look hot together. And lord knows we’re not getting much more by way of a steamy love scene between those two. Not ever again. Unless you count the blink-and-you'll-miss-it scene coming next week. So let’s be glad for the little things. Like, the lack of pirate blouses this episode. Though like I said a couple of weeks ago, I finally got over my hate for the pirate shirts because in the end, Bette’s pretty damn PILF.

 

Honestly. How hot is Jennifer Beals? She’s so hot I almost forgot to worry about the fact that the powers wasted a whole episode, the next to very last episode, on bullsh*t costumes and dance routines and did almost nothing to actually move the story forward.

 

Only the finale left, people. Don’t know about you, but I’m beginning to think  Jenny pitched herself off Bette and Tina’s new second-floor terrace just to exit the whole mess of this show. Nobody’s been shafted worse than her character. Who can blame her for wanting to end it all?

 

Comments

[Sue]

Haha Lydia. :) I was sitting with 7 of my friends last night watching the L-word and a little more than half way through it I said to my friends, "Okay does it feel to you guys that were sitting here watching people trying to fill up time in the episode because this all empty fluff. There's no story in this story" LOL

So I'm laughing reading your blog.

I saw an interview with Jennifer Beals in which she said that she was watching Marlee in DWTS last year with Ilene and she leaned over and said, "Oh we should do a dance off for the final season."

Well Flashdance and Showgirls were both kinda fun (or unintentionally funny) but really bad movies so I'm not surprised we wound up with an episode like this.

We had fun watching Alice and Tasha do the Salt-n-Peppa routine and thought their's was better than Marlee's in fact.

You're right about Jennifer and Laurel. They're not the best dancers but they looked hot so it was fun...but as for breaking off of their routine to show Nikki and Shane in the bathroom, boo!

I wonder if Ilene was reading all of our comments about how hot JB and LuH's dance was last year. :)

You know, if only this whole season had relly fun, pointless episodes like this we all wouldn't be ragging on the fact that the storylines are so bad.

And boy is Ilene's dialog sophomoric or what? I groaned at Bette trying to tell Tina about the Kelly while she kept getting interrupted scene. How many times has that trick been done in teen flicks?

Ilene needs to write a lesbian "Saved by the Bell"

[dutch/juno]

So many "wtf's", so little space. If this season was 12 episodes long, wasting last night's wouldn't have been so bad. Not that it was the only one wasted. Yeah, the Bette- Jodi exchanges were very irritating. IC's writing Bette to be as needy as Jenny! I did like the Bette-Alice face offs though. Hey! Why are Bette and Tina suddenly the same height? I'm all for the new equality in the relationship, but it's visually disconcerting.
I did like the close ups of JB at the bus station,tho', in that she was allowed to look tired ....almost haggard...and therefore quite real.

[Beluga]

My question: how hot is Laurel Holloman? :-)
Oh well, at least the ep was funny in places. Sorry, but even Jodi's dance routine wasn't all that. Talice-Jamie and Bette/Tina had more going on, if you ask me.

Hated, hated, hated that whole thing with Bette and Jodi. I don't know WTF happened to Bette between getting fired and this ep to make her all of a sudden care what Jodi thinks of her. And what is she, twelve? Running away from Jenny instead of acting like an actual grown up and telling Tina what happened with Kelly. Gimme a break!

[LuH Fan]

Yeh, I agree that the episode was filled with lots of irritating WTFs! But I still found the whole thing strangely entertaining. Plus, LuH looked absolutely gorgeous in this episode.

[invisigoth]

Wow, I never thought I'd say that but I am so glad when the shower is over next week!
It has become almost uncomfortable and embarrassing to watch. I feel for the actresses! I really do.

There's no flow whatsoever in it. Everything is random and meaningless. There are no real storylines not to mention story TELLING, no progress, no common sense, no original thought, no nothing. It's dumb as f*ck. And I'm beginning to feel slightly insulted as a viewer by that crap and unimaginative writing. Do they really think I'm stupid enough to feel inspired let alone entertained by THAT?!
Arrrgh!

[btfan2]

Lydia

Well I watched this ep again in disbelief and discomfort.

First does IFC have some unresolved issues with a past lover. Is this why every time Bette and Hootie are in a scene Bette has to grovel for Hooties approval.(Why is this troll still around??) (WTF) It's boring, has no relevance to the STORY(such as it is or isn't) and it's been done -- let it go.

Bette is an adult in an adult relationship. Why didn't she grab Jenny by the arm drag her over to Tina and demand that she repeat that crap to Tina. Well no we can't do that because IFC needs to inject her drama into this little loser. And Golly that's what a reasonably healthy person would do.

The dance thing could have been interesting, but; when the couple that most of us cared about was dancing we have to - you guessed it cut to Shane in yet another inappropriate place being obscene and inappropriate AGAIN... Gee IC how clever and original!!

Kit with the linebacker in a dress leaves me speechless. Is Kit so screwed up that she has to get involved with every dysfunctional worm on the planet???

Best part now we're all set up for Bette and Tina who have more problems and issues then the Times to adopt Maxie Pad's damaged baby, oh joy.(This is no slam to trans gender, babies, or any other group - it's just nuts in it's own right.)

Now Helena and Dylan are back together for a least 15 min before IFC flies in on the Enterprise and grabs Dylan for herself leaving Helena all alone again with all that fking money - poor baby.

And to be continued Alice, Jamie and Tasha who loves who, who hates who, will Alice's heart be broken, oh wait does anyone care???

I said last year when everyone was so excited about a s6 that it was a big waste, I was wrong. It's a fking cosmological joke and the jokes on us - again..

What's really sad is this show could have been such a joy and an icon of hope to all of us. Instead it's been reduced to a flagrant insult to us, the actors and the universe.

It's painful...

[btfan2]

Lydia

Well I watched this ep again in disbelief and discomfort.

First does IFC have some unresolved issues with a past lover. Is this why every time Bette and Hootie are in a scene Bette has to grovel for Hooties approval.(Why is this troll still around??) (WTF) It's boring, has no relevance to the STORY(such as it is or isn't) and it's been done -- let it go.

Bette is an adult in an adult relationship. Why didn't she grab Jenny by the arm drag her over to Tina and demand that she repeat that crap to Tina. Well no we can't do that because IFC needs to inject her drama into this little loser. And Golly that's what a reasonably healthy person would do.

The dance thing could have been interesting, but; when the couple that most of us cared about was dancing we have to - you guessed it cut to Shane in yet another inappropriate place being obscene and inappropriate AGAIN... Gee IC how clever and original!!

Kit with the linebacker in a dress leaves me speechless. Is Kit so screwed up that she has to get involved with every dysfunctional worm on the planet???

Best part now we're all set up for Bette and Tina who have more problems and issues then the Times to adopt Maxie Pad's damaged baby, oh joy.(This is no slam to trans gender, babies, or any other group - it's just nuts in it's own right.)

Now Helena and Dylan are back together for a least 15 min before IFC flies in on the Enterprise and grabs Dylan for herself leaving Helena all alone again with all that fking money - poor baby.

And to be continued Alice, Jamie and Tasha who loves who, who hates who, will Alice's heart be broken, oh wait does anyone care???

I said last year when everyone was so excited about a s6 that it was a big waste, I was wrong. It's a fking cosmological joke and the jokes on us - again..

What's really sad is this show could have been such a joy and an icon of hope to all of us. Instead it's been reduced to a flagrant insult to us, the actors and the universe.

It's painful...

[Hasbian]

Oh Lydia, you are sooooo funny! I love this blog and will miss you when the Lword is gone. You will have to find another lesbo show to blog, yes? You are so right about Kit and Pam Grier. What a waste of an intially complex and resonating character. i can dig it. (hahauhhnope)I hope IC reads this. Now that I think of it, what a waste of so much talent in this whole season. You asked last year who among us was happy about a season 6. I am glad to say that I was one of the few who HATED the idea because I knew THIS would happen. I could tell from season 5 that IC had done the BEST she could and season 5 without the Tibette reunion would have just been... whatever. Loved this. You made me laugh out loud, again. Now, I'm gonna go back and read it again. : )

[Lydia]

Hey Sue,

A lesbian Saved By the Bell. Ha! Good one. Season One of the L Word worked. You gotta wonder what changed since then. Who is really to blame for coming along to ruin it? Or, who gets the credit for forcing a decent story that first year but is no longer around? In my business, there is always an editor, or a series of editors, to save you from yourself in case some alien suddenly sucks the gray matter out of your head and you start writing completely preposterous crap. Don't IC and company have to answer to somebody somewhere who might be able to give them a reality check of some sort? Or, maybe it's those higher ups who are insane and putting a gun to IC's head and forcing her to deliver this nonsense. Who knows. But, clearly, there is no other Showtime show anywhere near as shabby as the L Word.

[Lydia]

Hi Dutch,

I really liked Bette's look at the bus station, too. And she did have cute exchanges with Alice. Too bad there were so many WTFs around a few good moments.

[Lydia]

Beluga, Luh Fan:

Tina was definitely hot this episode. And we even got a rare, meaningful exchange between her and Helena. It was almost as if the writers remembered those two had been an item.

[Lydia]

Hi Invisigoth,

You pose great questions. It really is all so over-the-top lame. I really do think I'm not going to miss the show at all. Maybe in a few years I'll dust off Season One and watch it again. But even that seems unlikely right now.

[oshunluvah]

ugh. i weep for the loss of my beloved yummy dykedrama but, WTF? S6 is IC's throwing the dog a bone; no actually, more like throwing up on the bone. I hope she is able to hear the truth from her actors (although a reasonable person would question that) and puts some effort into the next project. i'm disappointed that she started out with a great idea and turned it into an awkward wtf. Shame on IC for having such low expectations of her audience in what should have been dyke drama that leaves us aching for more.

[btfan2]

Lydia

I'm going to go at it again. I was just thinking about all this, being sad disillusioned, bitter and yes; angry.

I can't really place when things went south, I mean really south, no redemption, no do over, no fix this b!tch - south.

You mentioned waiting a few years and then maybe watching s1 again. Funny thing I was under the weather over the week-end. My partner had to work and I was home alone, sick and feeling pretty isolated.

I actually thought about putting s1 in the ole dvd player and taking a trip down memory lane. I didn't, I couldn't; I can't explain it.

I just couldn't do it. Was it fear ?? Would I be so angry after watching, that I would be in a funk for weeks, was it just plain disdain, or was it the sure knowledge that - my broken heart would be pummeled past any hope of healing.

Lets get serious, this was just a tv show, there was no promise of any kind, so whats the big deal.

The big deal was this was it, this was all we had, most likely will have for a long time and yes there was a broken promise.

I feel cheated and used, played for the fool, a disloyal lover couldn't be more duplicitous, hateful or mean.

When i discovered The L Word I was crazy ecstatic, I lesbian story, a lesbian love story about us with beautiful women, that was positive, sharp, witty and yes did I mention only about us. Oh be still my heart. A lesbian love story FINALLY. We deserved it, it was ours forever, it was beautiful ------> What happened?? Someone please tell me, what did we do wrong, what crime did we commit, why did the lesbian gods turn their backs on us so thoroughly, so completely, so painfully; why???

We went from the wonder of s1 to the broken, dark, lifeless, spiritless, ugly tragedy of s6 - no one can tell me WHY???

Do Jennifer, Laural, Kate or Leshia ever wonder, --- I wonder?? Guess we'll never know - so sad...

[lisa lisa]

this season is dead to me. in my mind, the l word ended last season. i will watch the finale, sure, but only to see had bad IC can twist it up.

the only good thing about this season has been lydia's blog.

[Lydia]

Btfan! I so feel your pain. And you're right, of course. About all of it. After subsisting on the occasional lesbian independent film (most of them offering mediocre writing, acting, etc) we finally got the L Word. Yes it was never more than soapy melodrama. Nobody expected it to win awards. But it was a mainstream show with mainstream production value (at least at first.)

We were psyched to finally be watching our own story on the screen. A glam version of our story. But that's TV for you.

Then the WTFs started coming faster than we could count them. The sad thing is, by then we were invested in the story and the characters. And so much was squandered right before our eyes.

Still, you have to admit that pointing out the WTFs is good fun.

Maybe we should come up with a master list of WTFs one of these days. Once we get over the stupidity that the finale will no doubt be.

Hope you're feeling better from your undertheweatherness!

[Sue]

Hi Lydia,

"there is always an editor, or a series of editors, to save you from yourself in case some alien suddenly sucks the gray matter out of your head"

Apparently I need one of those as well because I just noticed all the mistakes I made in my post from trying to finish it off at lunch. lol I'm glad you can read typos. :) I was also under the impression that a script has to go through a few people before it's approved so I honestly don't know what happened with the L-word.

BTfan, not to worry. I feel bad that this little show has had such an affect on you. I don't mind the craziness so much because it's just a tv show and Ilene just isn't the best writer. We got what we got...thank god for the actors.

Who knows, maybe a miracle will happen and Diablo Cody will write an L-word movie for us. :) I hear she likes to watch the show (probably to remind herself how NOT to write a screenplay. lol)

Thanks everyone for your comments. xoxo

[Katherine]

This whole episode was one giant "HUH?" to mne. Like someone else said, if there were 12 episodes, whatever, throw it in, it's all in good fun. Sort of like the basketball episode. All in good fun. But for the second to last? Don't they have too many loose ends to be trying to tie up? Oh, right, I forgot. That one happens in shows the creators actually care about.

Over it. Looking forward to being set free next week. Six years was way too long.

[qiqi]

Hi Lydia, How about writng for Carla von Lahnstein of Verbotene Liebe. That's my new Bette. It has been going one (slowly) for 5 years. But still going on.

[sara]

Jennifer Beals hotness is unbelievable,agree with you...

[Kim]

Great post. I have to agree with your "Forget the story. There is no story. There never really was a story" train of thought. But I don't think that Jenny offs herself. Did you read Ilene Chaiken's recent interview with The Daily Beast? She said some interesting stuff about the finale. One sentence in particular struck me, and I wrote about it here:

The L Word Finale: Are You Up For A Letdown?: http://www.pimpmywry.com/2009/03/the-l-word-finale-are-you-up-for-a-letdown.html