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World Cup hearts Charlize, but not Ireland

From the "We Knew This Was Coming File," FIFA settled the Ireland-France handball fiasco once and for all: The Irish will not be the 33rd team in South Africa.

After Thierry Henry's Handball Heard 'Round the World sent France to the World Cup, erroneously as many in Ireland have argued, there has been a groundswell to right the wrong.

FIFA secretary general Jerome Valcke wants none of it. Valcke said Tuesday that it was "impossible" to change the structure of the tournament.

Really? Like it would have been that hard to have Ireland and France have a play-in game to open the event? Like that wouldn't have been one of the most-anticipated and watched matches of the entire summer? Suuuuuuure.

So Ireland's out, but at least we still get Charlize Theron. The Oscar winner will be on-hand for Friday's draw, as will Nobel Peace laureates Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Frederik W. de Klerk.

Complete coverage of the draw to come.