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Calling Out Gator Haters

After a long night of uploading audio and video to our Herald website, I decided to pass on this morning's press conference with coach Randy Shannon since our Susan Miller Degnan was going to be there anyway. And because, well, let's face it: Randy wasn't going to stir the pot this morning anyway -- not with more than a week before his team travels up to the Swamp.

Here's what Randy told reporters in a nutshell:
> Aside from hitting a second quarter lull and a few moments of bad tackling, he was happy with the way team played in the first, third and fourth quarters of last night's 52-7 win. He said this is already a better and more complete team than he had a year ago.
> He said right tackle Reggie Youngblood will be ready to go against Florida, but he still isn't sure about defensive ends Eric Moncur and Allen Bailey.
> He reiterated Robert Marve will start at quarterback and that Jacory Harris will play.
> He said offensive coordinator Patrick Nix is coaching from the sidelines in order to coach his quarterbacks face to face instead of over the phone.
> He said all seven of the suspended players are back this week, none except Marve are guaranteed a starting job.

GatorhaterOK, now that we got that out of the way, I wanted U fans to have some fun. Since this is a big week, I was hoping each of you could come up with a Top 10 list of reasons you hate the Florida Gators. Think David Letterman's Top 10 lists. I figured since some of you guys are really talented, this could be fun and creative. Just don't include any profanities or any creative ways to cuss (like f*&#). I don't have anything to give away for the winner, so don't expect any prizes. Just mad props from your buddies and a chance to have your own Guest Blog right here next Friday.

Fire away!

P.S. - Don't forget to check out the great slide show from last night as well as the photo gallery.

Comments

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Miami Hurricanes open new era with flair!!!

6-12 on 3rd downs against a team with a grand total of two winning seasons in their entire history in front of 40 large.

Duhhhh U is back baby!

HATE TO TELL U I TOLD U SO

^^^ Well that would be reason #1, them writing on OUR blogs instead of their own. Which is funny because they have nothing to boast about but a whooping 2 Natl Championships in their 102 years of existance.

10.) I hate the Lizards because they are from Hicksville Florida and act like it.

9.) I hate the Lizards because they manifested the annoying word "JORTS" because of their obsession with jean shorts.

8.) I hate the Lizards because in the medias eyes they can do no wrong.

7.) I hate the Lizards because of their non stop talk of playing in the SEC. Who the hell cares any more.

6.) I hate the Lizards because OSU gave them basketball and football national titles while taking one from the U.

5.) I hate the Lizards because they think Tim Tebag is the second coming of Christ.

4.) I hate the Lizards because of Steve Spurier.

3.) I hate the Lizards because of Urban Cryer.

2.) I hate the Lizards because they have not beaten Miami since 1985 and yet they talk like they have owned Miami for years.

1.) I hate the Lizards because I AM A MIAMI HURRICANE.


Cane Since 1982

Top 10 list of reasons why we hate the Florida Gators.

10. The Gators have had three consecuitive Top 3 recruiting classes.

9. The Gators play in a conference that actually matters.

8. The Gators have more fans attend their season opener than our combined attendance the entire year.

7. The SEC has actually won more than one BCS bowl game.

6. The Gators don't have to bus their team 20+ miles to home games.

5. The Gators got their first choice coach and had choice 2 and 3 pushing in line. We got stuck with our fourth choice coach whom was promoted within.

4. The Swamp.....enough said. We share our "home" stadium with countless other teams and Madonna.

3. Tim Tebow, the first sophomore to win the Heisman in the history of college football.

2. The Gator's recruits actually qualify.

1. The Gator's have historically handed it to us and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

10. jorts
9. Their players can rape and pillage as long as their have,Mr. Purity aka Tim Tebow, circumcising Filipino children in the name of God, it's all good.
8. Urban Meyer cries more than my ex-girlfriend on the rag.
7. Jorts
6. A Four loss Heisman almost as big a joke as two loss NC.
5.In-state rivals who've never beaten us in 20 years deserve to get shat on.
4. they are arrogant pricks who swear they invented college football. (Ron Zook)
3. Gatorade is overrated.
2. The Swamp is not just a clever name, the stadium really is a sh1thole
1. JORTS!

Top Ten Reasons to hate the Florida Gators
10) Their quarterback celebrates 6 yard runs.
9) Mr. Two Bits of Annoyance
8) Calculus classes with 200 students; recitations of over 40. Pathetic.
7) The Choke at Doak...4 tds in final 12 minutes is ridiculous.
6) They gave us Brock Berlin after shattering his confidence. Even so, Brock went 2-0 against them, including his coming out party and his last game.
5) Throwing phones when recruits dump 'em.
4) They easily have the least amount of hot girls of all universities in the state.
3) Talking smack and then getting blown up against UM in 2000-01 Sugar Bowl.
2) They have never had an undefeated season. EVER.
1) Green goes so much better with Orange.

canerules... you are a moron with your #1 point. UM has beaten UF easily the last 6 times. You know... 6. As in the average amount of teeth in the average Gator fan's mouth.
- CVS

(The flop = disrespect & the Gaotrs' normal view of sportsmanship)@ 10th power

Conference homerism is a friggin joke. I will never root for my rival. ever. TEAM SEC UNITE!

I hate the Gators because when they know their team sucks, they bring up attendance figures as if that matters. A well-promoted monster truck rally would draw 50,000 in that piss-ant town.

First & foremost is the flop. The most arrogant piece of football ever. Whatever yardage was gained for the title, is tainted therefore the title is tainted.

They always bring up attendance. I would hope they can draw more fans. Let's see, a public institution will revolving doors for admission, against a private institution with real students.

That gaytor chop is the most annoying thing, so rediculous that most of the drunks in Gainesville can't even do it properly.

Then there's Spurier, who I thought was the biggest crybaby until Meyer showed up.

They have players thrown in jail anually but yet want to call out other institutions for the same thing.

The SEC. Enough said.

They consider themselves all world for 2 national titles. Fill all five fingers and we'll talk.

Top Ten Reasons I hate the Gators:

10) Their self righteous holier than thou QB Tim Tebow looks like a drag queen

9) The head coach is named "Urban" but the school is in the middle of the sticks

8) Only rednecks play in Swamps

7) Their fans have the same dentist as Michael Strahan

6) I'm a Canes fan

5) I've had fried alligator and it gave me diaherrea for the entire weekend

4) The SAT is optional for fooball players in the SEC

3) Showers are optional for their fans, except on Sunday when they must attend church with their wives...I mean sisters...wait their sisters ARE their wives! I can't keep it track

2) I went to school in Gainsville for three years and I still wake up at night with the theme from the movie "Deliverance" playing in my head.

1) I'm just not that into football programs that don't have at least 5 national championships

10. Two titles in 101 years? Please, even France has more war victories than that.

9. Everytime I pass through Gainesville the urge to chew tobaccy or dip stuff becomes so great I immediately spit in the nearest Coke can.

8. Gator chicks won't stop calling me ever since I got my new double wide trailer and Ricky Skaggs 8 tracks.

7. Gainesville is an oxymoron. I've been there and no one in town uses Gain.. or Cheer.. or All or any other form of detergent or soap.

6. I'm scared Percy Harvin may beat me up for doing something crazy... like breathing.

5. The Gator hide on my toilet lid chafe's my bum-bum.

4. Majority of student body could not get accepted to state community college so enrolled at UF with daddy's money.

3. I was sick last week and Tebow would not heal me.

2. Football team wants to be like Miami so bad they hired a coach whose initials are UM.

1. Brokeback Swamp - the match.com stadium for Deliverance extras everywhere.

^BUMP!

Top 10 reasons to hate the gators from our home office in Coral Gables:

10. All American QB turns down an invitation to the Playboy Mansion.

9. Can't tell the difference between an alligator and a croc.

8. Only allows recruits to set off fire extinguishers on official visits if they commit to UF.

7. The school of communications for giving Emmit Smith a degree.

6. Tim Tebow's crewcut.

5. The Urban Meyer school of discipline where it's ok to shoot an automatic weapon at someone as long as you can contribute on the field.

4. Erin Andrews is a prude.

3. Gainseville, Fla. Do I really need to say more?

2. Uses their conference as an excuse to avoid The Hurricanes on a yearly basis.

And the number one reason to hate the Gators:

1. University of Florida. Where winning 2 national titles since 1906 makes us "Titletown".

two florida alums were walking down a dirt road one day when they spotted a dog licking away furiously at its own crotch in a messy ditch. one gator turns to the other and chuckled, "i sure wish i could do that!" his friend looked back at him nodding and replied, "oh so do i ... but i'm pretty sure that dog'd bite me."

1 their school represent hicks, jort wearing and good ole boy mentality fans. ( Filled with Republicans)

2.They think they are the cream of the crop.

3.Their Coach the cryer Meyer only won a NC with Zook players now look at him.. P.S. I wonder how they are going to react when we beat them again. Remember he dog us out when he first got to Florida so we OWE him one!!!!

4. Some of their fans are ridiculous proud when they haven't done too much of anything...(TWO NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP TITLES IN WHAT...100 OR SO YEARS.

5.I JUST HATE THEM AND THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY.. SORRY, I CAN'T FINISH BUT THEY ARE A WAIST OF MY TIME... SO THEY DON'T GET TEN REASONS!!!!

Top 10 reasons to hate the gators...

10. They where Jorts and wife beaters to the games.

9. You get half the education for a quarter of the money.

8. Tim Tebow likes to molest little Filipino boys.

7. Tim Tebow is so fast he can run with Lou Holtz' head in his ass.

6. I can't tell the difference between the 'Florida Flop' and the current team's defense.

5. They keep AK-47's in the locker room.

4. The jump pass is gay.

3. Gatorade has too much sugar.

2. Urban Meyer wears Jimmy Johnson pajamas.

1. They are the reason 'Canesrule' lives in his momma's basement.

I hate em because...i just do. And come Saturday when we beat em their fans will probably still talk like if they got a Dynasty...And i hated that show when I was a jit. GO CANES!!!!!!

Top 10 Reasons to Hate the Gators

10. Standard issue Jean shorts and mullet
9. Urban Meyer wears a merkin
8. Soft players (entire team) voted to change team mascot to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
7. Baby sized genitalia
6. NBA plyaers now inspired to flop
5. Tebow messed up my circumcision
4. Chris Rainey still bragging about booster perks, NCAA still isn't listening
3. Creepy Cheerleaders - their nipples won't stop staring at my eyes
2. Teddy Dupay thinks I'm cute
1. Urban Meyer told ME that I would be the next Percy Harvin

10. Their fans log onto other teams blogs and spout nonsense.
9. They consider themselves a storied program, but have fewer titles in 100 years than the Canes do since 1990.
8. They've lost to us 6 straight times (including 2 bowl losses) and think beating us this year at home, after a 5-7 season, with 30+ freshman, will redeem them.
7. They have a losing record against the Seminoles.
6. They have a bowl game named after them...WHY?
5. They think they're program is superior to ours because of only 2 years.
4. Their great decade has produced as many titles as our decade of decline.
3. The Gator flop - and they ridicule us for bad sportsmanship.
2. They're too scared to play us every year.
1. THEY'RE TOO SCARED TO PLAY US EVERY YEAR!

Q. What has four arms, four legs, and three teeth?
A.Night shift at the gainesville wafflehouse!

Top 10 list of reasons why we hate the Florida Gators.

10. The Gators have had three consecuitive Top 3 recruiting classes. (I never seen a Cane fan hate on that because it generally doesnt mean sh*t until they produce on the field)

9. The Gators play in a conference that actually matters.(Typical gaytor excuse, Canes are 22-9 against the SEC, so were not scared)

8. The Gators have more fans attend their season opener than our combined attendance the entire year.(Yea? 44,000 for a game vs a D2 school, so this is completely false)

7. The SEC has actually won more than one BCS bowl game. (too bad it wasnt YOUR SEC TEAM!!!)

6. The Gators don't have to bus their team 20+ miles to home games. (Wow good one, that really brings out the success of a football team, again DOESNT MATTER)

5. The Gators got their first choice coach and had choice 2 and 3 pushing in line. We got stuck with our fourth choice coach whom was promoted within. (I didnt know you were a mind reader, shannon def wasnt the 4th choice, good try tho, we could make a hall of fame with the coaches that have coached at the U)

4. The Swamp.....enough said. We share our "home" stadium with countless other teams and Madonna. (Oh man the swamp!, the ONLY thing to do in that town is watch football, well besides 'muddin')

3. Tim Tebow, the first sophomore to win the Heisman in the history of college football.(We've had a few heisman winners ourselves, sh*t we've even had freshman qbs win the National Title as a STARTER, I still wanna know if a heisman winner has gone 9-4 the same year as winning the award)

2. The Gator's recruits actually qualify.
(Cuz we didnt HELP them in! and dont even bring up academics, #8 in the country, #1 in the state of florida)

1. The Gator's have historically handed it to us and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. (Yea? Not since 85' buddy! Your beloved qb wasnt even born yet! Overall we still OWN your team by 3 games)

Posted by: canerules | August 29, 2008 at 03:18 PM

10. Sunshine network, ESPN.


9. How many gaytors are reporting sports (Jesse Palmer, Emmitt Smith, Mike Biancci, etc.)And don't know anything about it.

8. Ignorant UF fans (canerules, fish, spagna) that don't respect their daddy (The 'Canes and fans).

7. Their pathetic logo.

6. Their crybaby, overated coaches.

5. How they don't prepare their kids for the NFL by playing a gimmick offense.

4. Overrated SEC.

3. Their arrogant license plate (We have 5 but we don't flaunt it).

2. Its University of Florida our retarded step child.

1. The Flop.

Go Canes!

Gator fans are the most obnoxious, arrogant disrespectful fans in all of college football.

im a proud gator hater.

go canes!

"I won’t run the score up on nobody" - Randy Shannon on Meyer inevitablly running up the score on Duhhhh U

Learn the english language you imbecile, there's a two hundred mile line between WON'T and CAN'T.

"I mean, they’ve got a great offense, a great team. You’ve got a Heisman Trophy (winner Tim Tebow), another guy, Percy Harvin, is a Heisman Trophy candidate." - Randy half-a-brain Shannon

I can not possibly believe that a coach can live under this big of a rock! It's been national news that Harvin won't be playing against Duhhhh U for nearly two weeks now.

No wonder we can not make in-game coaching adjustments, it takes Randy three+ weeks just to figure out which way is up in a dimly lit room.

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME

"Urban Meyer wears Jimmy Johnson pajamas" - cane fan for a day

DEPENDS

"too bad it wasnt YOUR SEC TEAM!!!" - man with 5 middle fingers

Do you have a clue as to what year the BCS was put into place?

FOOTBALL IQ = 0

5 Rings -

I dug the entry-by-entry response to that inane canesrule entry.

I would've done it myself, but I was too busy helping a Lady Gator make a cuckold out of her Gator boyfriend. True story.

Life's grand!

Things I HATE about the Gayturds!!!!!

10) All the crybaby coaches.
9) They treat Tim Tebow like he is God. (He will be worse than Rex Grossman on the next level)
8) The media darlings are in their Golden Era even though they lost a ton of games last year.
7) Their overhyped offense.
6) Urban Crier.
5) The Gayturd mascot.
4) Florida Gayturds is tne new free shoes university.
3) Their dislike and arrogance vs the Canes.
2) Percy Harvins' overhyped behind.
1) The fact they danced at the OB over 30 years ago, hell our new guys should get to know that a lil more.

TOP 10 REASON TO HATE THE FLORIDA GATORS.

10. Mickey Eubert makes a 2 yard gain sound like an 80 yard touch down pass. "Ph My gosh! The gators are moving now 2nd and 7 from the 33 yard line!"

9. Steve Spurrier use to coach them.

8. When you travel to the swamp you leave with at least 12 mosquito bites.

7. It's a cult! They groom you to be a snob.

6. Alumni, locals, and students think they attend an ivy league school

5. They use the jaws theme song---they are gators, duh?

4. A normal non-conference schedule to them is...
week 1- Holy trinity of the blind
week 2- South eastern no where kentucky
week 3- Girl Scouts of America

3. I was raised to hate them

2. Urban Meyer blames others before himself.

1. The first thing you hear from a gator fan after they lose a game is, "The ref cheated for the other team and..."

10-gator fans from hitchhiking to get to the game after leaving that dirtball strip club in wildwood
09-dickies and wife beater nation
08-opening the stadium grounds on thurs. for a double-wide convention where incest takes place.
07-urban liar gives scholarship money to matt patchan's girlfriend and oral to his mother, not suspending jarvis moss for that SC game where they would have lost..
06-teboy circumcising little boys and breast-feeding on his 21 y/o b-day
05-white sunglasses are worn by do__hebags in gainesville
04-gaylen hall ...because that was really his name
03-Foley taking Miami off there schedule (vaginas)
02-not allowing steve spurrier, bobby bowden, and urban into carol city to try stealing our recruits
01-tired of hearing...play in a real conference, and see how many rings you have!
....good luck watching Robert Marve film..thats right he has not played yet....THE U FLY SOCIETY!!

Vote for Pedro, I mean Carlos:

10. jorts
9. Their players can rape and pillage as long as their have,Mr. Purity aka Tim Tebow, circumcising Filipino children in the name of God, it's all good.
8. Urban Meyer cries more than my ex-girlfriend on the rag.
7. Jorts
6. A Four loss Heisman almost as big a joke as two loss NC.
5.In-state rivals who've never beaten us in 20 years deserve to get shat on.
4. they are arrogant pricks who swear they invented college football. (Ron Zook)
3. Gatorade is overrated.
2. The Swamp is not just a clever name, the stadium really is a sh1thole
1. JORTS!

Posted by: Carlos | August 29, 2008 at 03:19

P.S. Sorry about the sorry gaturd that posts under my name, the real canesrule. He's a sorry turd who really does live in his momma's basement.

Every UF fan I know seems to feel that its completely ridiculous to think that UM has any chance of not being blown out by at least 45 points in this game. Miami has more than just a long shot at keeping the score within 40 in this game, they have a serious chance at winning it. UF backed into the national champ. game two years ago, and they beat an Ohio State team whose ability was obviously inflated by the big ten.this makes UF fans think they will forever be the best in the football world. UF has talent and speed, but since that game they have been on a slight decline in those areas, especially on defense. Their secondary is in shambles. The D-line has questions. Our receivers have the speed and ability to blow by the corners and our O-Line is the strength of the offense and were stacked a running back. We WILL score points. If our Defense puts up the kind of numbers that the talent and speed suggests they can we will be able to slightly neutralize Tebow and Hrvin and we will have a fighting chance. Just get ready for a hell of a game and stop pretending you know what it means to be a cane UF people, you wont measure up to our success any time soon.

P.S. Sorry about the sorry gaturd that posts under my name, the real canesrule. He's a sorry turd who really does live in his momma's basement.

Posted by: canesrule 9 'ships | August 29, 2008 at 10:19 PM

sweet, my own personal leghumper.

10)They have a built-in excuse for not being able to go undefeated (Our conference is SOOOO tough)
9)Even when we got the BCS snub we spanked their SEC champion butts in the Sugar
8)Their police blotter is longer but ours is somehow.......louder?
7)Too many 2 year olds in the Gainesville area named Urban Zook.
6)It's so bad even SPURRIER ditched 'em.
5)They make me pull for FSU once a year.
4)"Now, wait a second: Vandy is improved!"
3)Rex Grossman
2) Brock Berlin
1)Whaddaya call that hue of orange? Bubble Yum?

I hate the Gators for the following five reasons:

10. The Gators have had three consecuitive Top 3 recruiting classes and still lost four games including a game to Michigan, who lost to Appalachian State.
9. The Gators play in a conference that actually matters.(Typical gaytor excuse, Canes are 22-9 against the SEC, so were not scared) (Don’t forget that the SEC had been in existence since 1933 and Florida has only won it 7 times (Sorry Gaturds, cheating does not count), which means Bama and owns you too!)

8. The Gators have more fans attend their season opener than our combined attendance the entire year.(Our fans are tougher than Gator fans, meaning you stand for mediocrity. Canes fans won’t come unless the team deserves it, which means success through tough love)

7. The SEC has actually won more than one BCS bowl game. (too bad it wasnt YOUR SEC TEAM!!!) For a Gator with an “excellent education” that is weak! Both teams have gone 3-1 in the BCS. Your loss was to MIAMI; ours was known as the worst referee call in college football history (we lost in triple overtime). Sucks for you! By the way we beat you by 17 points, which means we owned you again.

6. The Gators don't have to bus their team 20+ miles to home games. (Wow good one, that really brings out the success of a football team, again DOESNT MATTER). Well unless the Canes are good we won’t go! Why, we don’t put up with mediocrity! You guys do, hence less success! If I could put a weak product on the field ever year and the fans come anyway then what is my incentive to get better? I thought you guys were smarter than that????

5. The Gators got their first choice coach and had choice 2 and 3 pushing in line. We got stuck with our fourth choice coach whom was promoted within. (I didnt know you were a mind reader, shannon def wasnt the 4th choice, good try thou, we could make a hall of fame with the coaches that have coached at the U). Weak! Ever coach we have had was not highly regarded, except for one Dennis Erickson. If you remember Dennis won a NC with Jimmy’s players and destroyed the program. Somehow our coaches still managed to win 5 national titles to your 2! Side note: One of our coaches has two NFL rings to your none! 2 thumbs up for you guys!

4. The Swamp.....enough said. We share our "home" stadium with countless other teams and Madonna. (Oh man the swamp!, the ONLY thing to do in that town is watch football, well besides 'muddin'). Weak! Orange Bowl Consecutive Home Wins: 58, 1985-94 (NCAA record), Also, of the top 50 consecutive win streaks we appear 5 times, UF does not appear! Also, we have never discriminated against who we play with; You can’t even play Georgia in your stadium! I forgot they also own you 47-37-2!

3. Tim Tebow, the first sophomore to win the Heisman in the history of college football.(We've had a few heisman winners ourselves, sh*t we've even had freshman qbs win the National Title as a STARTER, I still wanna know if a heisman winner has gone 9-4 the same year as winning the award). One man offenses equals 41-35 loss to Michigan (UM). It must be a UM thing???? LOL

2. The Gator's recruits actually qualify.
(Cuz we didnt HELP them in! and dont even bring up academics, #8 in the country, #1 in the state of florida). Just because they can get in does not mean they can graduate (57% to your 42%). By the way I’ll give you this you are rank ahead of us in the US News report rankings (but only by I think 3 slots) mostly because of your agriculture department. Based on these stats it seems we have higher quality students on our football team, sucks for you! By the way of our graduates (4 are in the Pro HOF to your 1)

1. The Gator's have historically handed it to us and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. (Yea? Not since 85' buddy! Your beloved qb wasn’t even born yet! Overall we still OWN your team by 3 games). The Gators have never owned anybody!!!! YOU HAVE NEVER HAD AN UNDEFEATED SEASON! WE HAVE HAD THREE!!!!! Of the Three Florida Cups that have been awarded, Miami has won all three. Meaning we OWN YOU and Florida State (A Respected Rival, they don’t talk S#@t)!!!!!!!! BECAUSE COMBINED YOU HAVE 4 and we have 5!!!!!!!!!

Yaaaaawwwnnnnn ... It's 2008. See U in a week.

That is if you're actually going to make the trip instead hiding down in N. Havana...

THE U HIDES FROM NO TEAM!!!! EVEN IF WE LOSE IT FEEDS US FOR THE FUTURE!!!! BY THE WAY OUR LOSSES RECEIVE TV HIGHER RATINGS AND STADIUM ATTENDANCE THAN YOUR WINS!!!!! JUST ASK OKLAHOMA AND ESPN HOW MUCH MONEY THEY MADE FROM ONE OF THE WORST TEAMS AND SENIOR CLASSES SINCE 1980!!!!!!! PEOPLE JUST EXPECT YOU TO SUCK!!!!!!! 2 LOSS National B@tch%s!!!!!

SUCCESS BREEDS JEALOUSY AND IF YOU HAVE NOT BEATEN US IN HMMMMMMMMM OVER 25 YEARS YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY!!!!!

YOU RESCHEDULE WHEN YOU LOSE TO MUCH!!!!!!

THE BEST PART, THE SIX TIMES WE HAVE PLAYED!!!! WE HAVE BEATEN YOUR BUTTS!!!!

Sorry! I'll be in Prague because.... That how I roll...... Selling cattle feed makes it hard to buy tickets to places with hot chicks!!!!!

Here's my reason for HATING the gators. Most if not all biggot, racist, The South will rise again strutten individuals in the state of Florida are Gator fans. Including comments by the cowards that go by the names Canesrule (not the real but the impostor and Gator). Please I know deep inside you're thinking "who's this BOY talking to?" Don't worry about coming back w something to try and show that you're not a biggot. We know what half of your fan base really cares about. So you and your program/conference go to H*LL!

Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate the Gators

10) Jorts and Mullets.
9) Tebow and his jump-pass.
8) Steve Spurrier (not to mention his visor).
7) Gator Math Part 1: In Gainesville apparently 25>28. Canes lead series 28-25, yet somehow the Gator program is superior.
6) They play their fight song after every 3 yard gain.
5) Urban Meyer whines worst than my dog when she needs to go potty.
4) The Swamp: Such a storied place, yet the Canes have more wins there (12)than any other team (not including the one coming on Sept 6).
3) Gator Math Part 2: 2 championships > 5 championships. I'm guessing there aren't a lot of math majors on the UF roster.
2) Because H20 is better.
and finally,
1) Because I am a CANE, and we are THE U!

If you are looking for funny, mine won't be, because I truly do hate the Gaturds. Hate is typically not funny, so here is my entry, not in any particular order:

10. Former FU recruiting coordinator John "Doc" ("snake eyes") Holliday telling Marcus Forston, who grew up in a difficult part of Miami, that he would be safer in Gainesville than in Coral Gables.

9. Urban Liar, name says it all.

8. "WE ARE THE BOYS OF OLD FLORIDA," sung at the end of the 3rd quarter. Old Florida is bad: lynchings, segregation KKK marches through the middle of Gainesville, you should end that song like Ole Miss ended the rebel flag.

7. Mr. Two Bits: God forgive me if he is dead, last time I say him he had to be 80 or so. Least offensive of all Gaturd cheers, but very lame.

6. Gaturd getters: trashy whores who masquarade as students and flirt with potential recruits in public places and do God knows what behind closed doors to get them to promise to become furture turds.

5. "The Pride of the Sunshine": you call that a band, sure it's big, you get that way when you have 50,000 students, but trust me, musically, you are no Band of the Hour. Have the FAMU band choreograph your marches, I'd love to see a bunch of fat white tuba playas trying to dance like the Rattlers.

4. No Club seating in your stadium: I know that sucks for you, and you can't expect to have the State of the Art facility Da U enjoys, but please move into the 21 st century, its hot in Canesville in September and we don't really like to sweat when we wear our Armani suits to games.

3. Mr. Denture face, Jeremy Foley, who cut and run from the annual UM v. FU series back in the 1980s, crying "no mas."

2. NCAA record 18 arrests in 18 months, a record that will never be broken, one that Urban Liar and the national media try to bury, including the shameful reinstatement of Tony Joiner by Urban Liar just days after he attempted to steal a car from an impound lot (and then losing to LSU anyway); Ronnie Wilson being reinstated to the team after firing an AK-47 into an occupied building, and, to the everlasting shame of the Alachua County State Attorney's Office, not having his probation revoked after a second arrest in Gainesville, using law enforcement officers as toilet paper.

and, finally, the top reason why I hate the Gaturds more than any other Can fan, alive or dead...

1. With apologies to Will Rogers, I've never met one I liked.

The ironic thing is most of the Gators posting on here weren't alive when the U last lost to their beloved team. In my heart I would love for the U to win, but they may be too young to pull it out. Can't wait to hear it then...

"Oh yeah well the last time we played we spanked you. Forget about the previous 25 years... we owned you the last time. Oh yeah, and since you have a lot of good frosh, let's schedule again in 2012 when they have all graduated? Sound fair guys?"

Get your AK-47s ready to fire in celebration this weekend! Guns and Gators Baby!!

have no fear Cane DC,
the turds have to come here (in 2010)

Tebow got a phone call from the Downtown Athletic Club about the Heisman presentation last year. When he learned about the dress code, Tiny Tim was at a loss. The DAC official asked him what "formal attire" meant in Gainesville.

"Shoes and white women" came the reply.

Manny...
Type pad is killing me over here...waz-up??? I must be on your favorite spam list.

See ya on the other site.

Cat

After the Gators 52-7 win over the Hurricanes next week, here are some of the inevitable excuses we shall here from the Canes.

10) Robert Mavre only had 8 hours of sleep the night before and he needs at least 10.
9) Shannon's son refused to perform after his father denied him a playstation game at Toys R Us the night before.
8) Jacory Harris strained a pec the night before in a benching competition with Kevin Durant. Harris hurt himself on the lift off with 65 lbs.
7) Marcus Forston is only used to going up against the small, rich, white kids of Miami Palmetto and not a real football team.
6)The Hurricane players were more concerned about their families safety due to the Hurricane off 1,050 miles in the Atlantic.
5)Randy Shannon is just starting to recruit and build his team. We are too young but NEXT YEAR is our year.
4) Patrick Nix just had a bad day. BAWAHAHAHAHAHA
3) Who cares we beat you in 1987, we dont care about 2008.
2) We were higher ranked in some obscure recruiting service so that is all we care about.
1) You only beat us by 45 points. That is a MORAL VICTORY for the Canes (followed by the famous--NEXT YEAR WILL BE OUR YEAR..BAWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA)

They're an incredibly insecure bunch -- evidenced by the constant posting on the U blogs and articles

They're a state funded university while we at the U are private. "Everything" they've "accomplished" has been with state funding and everything we've accomplished has been on our own.

Urban Liar -- he looks as weasley as he acts

It's in Gainesville, aka South Georgia

The Flop

They lose 4 games and think it's a successful season

Took the U off their schedule out of fear

Giving props to ChicagoCane... "They've lost to us 6 straight times (including 2 bowl losses) and think beating us this year at home, after a 5-7 season, with 30+ freshman, will redeem them"... that about says it all.

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