Finding one's way in the new year

   Maybe it's because it's the new year.
   Maybe it's because a dear colleague and friend - Terry Jackson - passed away Tuesday night.
   Maybe it's because a close girlfriend is going through difficult times in her marriage.
   Whatever the reason, I've been thinking a lot about relationships and their importance in a life well lived. In fact, one of my goals this year is to stop and listen more. To reach out to my loved ones, to say no to time-wasting commitments and things "I should do'', and say yes to early-morning walks, hugs, family dinners, late-night conversations and time for myself to rethink priorities and focus on what's important.
  As I begin this journey, I've turned to books that explore friendships, marriages, raising children, grief. I've also discovered a new book, Between the Covers: The Book Babes' Guide to a Woman's Reading Pleasures, written by two veteran book critics who've put together a reading guide for women and who have a fun blog.
  Here, then, are five books to get you started. And I'd love to hear about your favorite, well-worn books that you can't live without. It's a journey we're on together.

  JOAN'S FIVE FAVORITES

   The Geography of Love by Glenda Burgess: A 31-year-old woman meets a 44-year-old man at a lakeside cafe. He has been widowed twice, under very harrowing circumstances. Yet they take a leap of faith and what follows is a loving memoir of their marriage.

  Tender at the Bone by Ruth Reichl. The first of three books by Reichl, the editor of Gourmet magazine. Her passion for food begins in the early days of Berkeley and Alice Waters and leads to her becoming a restaurant critic at the New York Times before taking over the editor's spot at Gourmet. Her memoirs are filled with lush storytelling and her favorite recipes.

  Epilogue: A Memoir, by Anne Roiphe. Roiphe, a New York writer, pens a story about losing her beloved husband, H., after 39 years. A story of loss and remaking one's life, painfully, one step at a time.

  Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner. I read this book years ago and it still stays with me. A semiautobiographical novel about two couples and their lifelong friendship. It's how I envision my life with my closest friends.

About Alice by Calvin Trillin - The longtime New Yorker writer writes a lovely, witty and honest tribute to his wife, Alice, who died of a heart attack Sept. 11, 2001. A wonderful love story, built on their love of food, travel and their two daughters.

Ok, I said five, but I have to add this one:

  What Now? by Ann Patchett: Patchett turns a commencement address at her alma mater, Sarah Lawrence, into an insightful, short book on embracing life. Perfect for those asking that question as the new year begins.