The Work/Life Balancing Act

Smart ways to keep a team member from destroying your work life balance

Every time a friend of mine aimsto leave the office in time to beat traffic, her workaholic co-worker insists she finish her part of the newest project before she leaves. My friend has just about had it because usually the team project isn't due for a few more days.

Have you ever been on an office team or in a department where a single team member makes your life miserable or destroys your work life balance?

There are ways to turn things around. It may require a conversation using the most diplomatic skills you can muster. Check out my article on the topic in The Miami Herald.

The tricky business of collaboration

 

 

BGT Partners employees Aaron Metz, Arad Usha and Brittany Robins dress in costumes to watch "The Dark Knight Rises'' at Fort Lauderdale Museum of Discovery and Science.

BALANCEGAL@GMAIL.COM

Julie Black, a manager at a South Florida publishing company, was about to have another bad day. Her team member had blown a deadline and she would have to stay late, once again, to finish the project her boss was expecting in the morning.

“It’s so frustrating that one person on a team can create havoc in everyone else’s lives,” she complained.

As NBA playoff season heats up, Miami Heat fans are watching teamwork at its best. But shaping a championship team where individuals play cohesively to pull off a win can be one of the trickiest jobs a corporate leader faces. Workplaces are riddled with dysfunctional teams like Black’s, where a single player — a slacker, a workaholic or a narcissist – can affect the professional and person lives of everyone on the team.

Getting individuals to play together as well as LeBron James and Dwyane Wade can be especially challenging in a workplace culture that places a high emphasis on individual performance and competition. “Even when you have a bunch of egos, at some fundamental level, they need to believe they are working for the greater good of the team,” says South Florida executive coach Alexa Sherr Hartley. “Great players who do not get along with teammates end up limiting their careers.”

Most workers chose the function they carry out, rather than the people on their team or in their department. A team that’s too much alike risks exposure to blind spots. Diverse teams risk contention. But on any team, there may be a person who has a tendency to procrastinate or one who shoots down ideas that would actually move a project forward.

Rebecca Nicholson isn’t exactly someone who shies away from confrontation with a difficult team member. Yet, she knows obvious solutions such as simply kicking the member off of the team, or firing the individual are not always possible. Moreover, she now realizes that a better solution may be reorganizing team structure or responsibilities.

“It’s easy to dismiss conflict as a personality issue, however that detracts from being able to understand what the actual issues are,” says Nicholson, director of special projects for The Wasie Foundation South Florida, who has a doctorate in conflict analysis and resolution. “Sometimes, the real issue creating problems is the processes, the way resources are allocated or the way people understand — or misunderstand — their role on the team.”

Rather than single out “problem’’ individuals, companies often come at solutions with broad stroke fixes.

The most common are teambuilding exercises. For most of us, teambuilding conjures up images of spirited tugs of war, relay races and physical challenges. Now, companies are getting more creative — using charity work, gardening and even glass blowing as bonding exercises.

Emerson Process Management in Sunrise sent its office teams to cooking school to build camaraderie among co-workers. In front of mixing bowls and Bunsen burners, Magali Jarrin and her co-workers were charged with whipping up an entire meal, with each group cooking up a course such as appetizer, entrée, salad or dessert.

“We got to know our colleagues on a different level. When you get to know each other better outside the office, it reinforces communication,” says Jarrin, Organizational Development Director at Emerson Process Management.

At BGT Partners in Aventura, co-founder David Clarke has built team activities into the firm’s culture. The company holds continuous team building events that have included group karaoke, bowling and art projects. Recently, a celebrity drummer gave the entire office a group lesson. “He taught us how to be in rhythm together. By the end of the hour, we had more than a hundred people drumming to same beat.”

Clarke says he sees a noticeable return on investment. At BGT, employees work in teams on client’s digital challenges. Clarke says younger staffers, in particular, want collaboration, and to be a part of a team.

“The foundation of every team is the relationships of the individuals. People don’t work well together if they hate each other,’’ Clarke says. “If they like each other and are happy together, they will work together well.”

With 150 employees, Clarke admits he has encountered a toxic team member along the path to growth. But he’s come up with a way to learn of it sooner, rather than later — an anonymous online suggestion box where employees can submit problems, opinions, ideas and feedback. “It exposes things I otherwise wouldn’t have known about, before they fester and get toxic.”

Some employers bringing in conflict-resolution specialists or coaches to improve team dynamics. Hartley, an executive coach with Premier Leadership Coaching, says she urges team leaders to have direct conversations about expectations and how the team should perform. “It may be simplistic but it really helps.”

Still, there are times when a team manager or leader does need to address problems related to a single individual. Rather than dismiss someone as selfish or a failure and have it affect your work and home life, Hartley suggests confronting the problem without making it a personal attack. “Name the problem in a factual way and how it impacts you. Explain the pattern you observed and make a request for a correction. [Otherwise, you can] forget team building exercises.”

Some conflict among team members is good, say experts. It promotes debate and creative thinking. In a healthy team environment, the leader knows the difference. “People with their own agendas need to be addressed and that’s where the leader comes into place,” says Jarrin at Emerson. Rather than focus on changing behavior of an individual, a team leader may have to change the way he manages the team, she says.

The challenge for team leaders, much like the Miami Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra, is understanding that a talented player isn’t always a good team member At Steven Douglas Associates, a talent search and recruitment firm in Sunrise, even the standouts have come to see the benefit of playing well together. Executive recruiter Alan Berger says sharing leads and contacts with his team members recently helped him make a significant placement with a client. “We’re all driven but we have seen the benefit in supporting each other.”

BGT’s Clarke says leaders who want to create an environment where workers are happy, and their personal lives respected, need to hire well. “It’s not about the best, but more about who is best to work together.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cultivating Leadership: Where do women fit in?

Last week, I had the pleasure of participating on a panel discussion sponsored by Commercial Real Estate Women (CREW) Miami. We dove into some rather controversial topics, mostly dissecting how more women can make it into leadership roles.

I'm sharing a blog post that appeared on the CREW-Miami website to give you a glimpse into how the discussion played out:

 

Cultivating Leadership in Business

 

By Margaret Nee, President of CREW-Miami

Talent is the most valuable asset of any business, especially in real estate, where human capital is the key ingredient to closing deals and growing business.

At our monthly CREW-Miami luncheon held on May 15, “Cultivating Leadership & Talent in Business,” an expert panel discussed the best ways to cultivate leadership, reward team members and promote diversity in a company.

Panelist Mary Jo Eaton, Executive Managing Director of CBRE, discussed how in the case of larger companies, such as CBRE, it’s important to have networking groups, as well as professional leadership and development programs in place, in which team members can participate to hone their skills and develop their talent.

One common mistake that companies, from small to large, often make is promoting individuals who become top producers to leadership positions without offering the proper training. Appointing the individuals to those roles without adequate guidance is unfair to them, pointed out Panelist Alexa Hartley, President of Premier Leadership Coaching.

The key to their success is allowing them to discover what their leadership style is, she notes, and giving them time to practice before taking on this new role.

And when it comes to the role of women in commercial real estate, an industry historically dominated by men, Moderator Jim Dockerty, Managing Director of HFF (Holliday Fenoglio Fowler, L.P.), expressed that women can be strong influencers and should implement that natural skill in their careers. He said men who have wives or daughters that work often are good allies for women in the workplace.

Panelist Cindy Krischer Goodman, Work/Life Columnist for The Miami Herald, added to the discussion an important point about how women have to figure out how to increase the demand for their skills.

She suggested that getting a sponsor that advocates for you in the business can help advance your career and maximize your potential.

Our panelists agreed that losing the fear to ask and engaging in a little self-promotion can lead to meaningful rewards.

 

How a spouse can doom your work life balance success

 

 

Sheryl Sandberg, the outspoken COO of Facebook, repeatedly has said one of the most important career moves you make is who you marry. I see that played out, over and over, sometimes in a positive way, and sometimes not. 

Just as lack of consensus around finances can doom a marriage, lack of support from your husband or wife can effectively sink a career. For decades, it's been wives who have supported their husbands careers -- emotionally and physically. But now that most couples are dual earners, the whole dynamics of career priority are changing in marriages. Men are being asked to do more at home as women do more at the office.

Earlier this week, NPR Morning Edition featured a stay-at-home dad for its "The Changing Lives of Women" series.  Jonathan Heisey-Groves and his wife, Dawn, a public health analyst, didn't exactly plan for Jonathan to be a stay-at-home parent to Egan, 5, and Zane, who's 4 months old. The Heisey-Groves were both working full time when he lost his job as a graphic designer.  Jonathan stayed home at first just to save money on child care. But then, Dawn got a promotion.

 "She took a position at her company that involved a lot of travel, last-minute work, late nights and so forth," he says. "And I have some understanding of how it feels to be in that position, so I try to be as supportive as I can."

You might not be married to a Jonathan, who is willing to give up his career to raise the kids, but are you married to someone who wants you to succeed in your job? Are you showing your spouse the physical and emotional support that he or she needs to succeed? 

Think about that before you answer....

A friend of mine complained for weeks that her husband was going to accept a promotion that involved more travel. For her, it meant she would need to leave work earlier to pick their kids up from after school care. But instead of talking it through, she informed him he can't take the promotion. Now they're both resentful. 

Monique Valcour, a professor of management at EDHEC Business School in France, has just published a great article on the Harvard Business Review blog called the Dual-Career Mojo that Makes Couples Thrive. She gives suggestions for how to be more supportive of each other's careers. They're so good I'm sharing them with you (edited a bit with my own comments added in) 

Communicate priorities: Talk early and often about what matters most to both of you. In other words, you want to avoid realizing too late (e.g., when you've already called a divorce lawyer) that there is a big gap between what you say you care about most and how you actually invest your time and energy.

Talk about work at home: Look for solutions together that will reduce career-related conflicts and maximize opportunities for career enrichment between the members of the couple. Valcour says,  "My husband and I routinely help each other decide how to approach issues we encounter in our careers by listening, asking questions, and offering a broader perspective."

Think like a team. This often means taking turns. Dual career couples who are movie actors often take turns being away on set and home with the kids. Valcour notes that many dual-career couples confer with each other before accepting travel commitments to ensure that both parents are never away at the same time. In  less successful dual-career partnerships, each partner's interest in the other's career is often more self-referential — as in, "How will my partner's work demands or rewards affect me?" as opposed to "How do we meet the demands and enjoy the rewards together?"

Ask for help. Your partner may be willing to let you sacrifice some family time to do what you need to do at work or to go back to school. This takes open communication and the ability to help the other person overcome guilt.

Be open to change.  Modern careers don't typically follow a predictable path; the road is ever-changing. That's where a spouse's support is critical. Let's say your business suddenly takes off or your boss offers you a promotion. That inevitably impacts your home life in a way your spouse might not have expected. Valcour notes that few people make it all the way through a career without experiencing an unexpected company event that affects their career prospects, a significant failure, an apparent success that turns out to be unsatisfactory, or a desire to make a significant change. As changes occur, remember the upside of dual career marriages. Having two careers takes the pressure off either person to be responsible for all of the material support of the family unit. Of course, both spouses have to believe that to be true.

Readers, has your spouse been a powerful resources in helping you work through career and life challenges? If not, in what ways has a lack of support created havoc in your personal and professional success?

Millennials think being an entrepreneur is the path to work life balance

Millennials, people in their 20s, are used to being overscheduled. They don't mind working hard, they just want to do it where and when they want to do it. Today, I wrote about how Millennials view entrepreneurship and how it will change the workplace for the rest of us. 

Young entrepreneurs redefining work world

Publish

 

(Anthony Summerlin, 26,  sends out a daily sports report to his customers via email. )

WALTER MICHOT / MIAMI HERALD STAFF

BY CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

On a recent college tour with my teenage son, a professor at a Florida university gave him pointed advice. “Don’t expect to get a job at a company. You’re going to need to be an entrepreneur.” My son didn’t react. While it caught me off guard, he took it as a given.

As college graduates don their robes and caps, they are a generation headed into the real world with a different mindset than my generation or the one before me. They know they may need to forge their own path, and they aren’t intimidated by it.

Today, Millennials, the generation in their 20s, view entrepreneurship as a way to get the freedom to work when and where they choose. They are optimistic and idealistic — and at 80 million strong, they’re going to change the way we all work and think. Empowered by technology, many already have their own side gigs going, biding their time until they can leap out on their own and create the lifestyle and work/life fit they want, according to a new study, “Millennials and the Future of Work.’’

“Even though Millennials view entrepreneurship as presenting obstacles, most of them believe the benefits outweigh downside,” said Dan Schawbel, whose Millennial Branding firm commissioned the survey with oDesk, an online workplace. “They want to be in charge of their own destiny.”

This new Millennial mindset is being stoked by the Internet and encouraged by universities. It will force employers to create entrepreneurial opportunities within their companies.

Out of college just a few years, Anthony Summerlin, 26, already is an entrepreneur. After graduating from the University of Miami, he first went to work in his father’s business, a wholesale auto dealership. But he recently saw an opportunity to go out on his own. Summerlin had been analyzing teams and offering his advice in a public forum on a sports website. He built up more than 2,000 online followers and decided to turn his hobby into an income stream, publishing a website, SweetJones55.com, and a daily sports update, that he delivers electronically to customers’ inboxes. He has more than 1,000 subscribers paying $400 to $1,000 each, and works from his Miami home on his own schedule.

“All I need is a computer with Internet access and I can run my business from anywhere,” Summerlin says. “I love that if something were to come up and I don’t want to work one day, I don’t have to. I love the freedom of being my own boss.”

With the exception of health insurance provided by his parents, Summerlin is making it mostly on his own, earning six figures. For others his age, getting a business going that can sustain them doesn’t come quickly and often requires parental support. Many Millennials are still living at home, are on a parent’s insurance plan and have funded their businesses with start-up money from family.

This generation that grew up involved in after-school activities and told to follow their passion may have student loans, but they want to make money doing things that interest them. And, there never has been a better time to chase a dream. Today there are plenty of young role models and little need to plunk down cash for equipment and real estate. The only thing you need is a computer or smartphone, a connection to the web and a good idea.

It’s no wonder that 54 percent of Millennials say they either want to start a business within the next five years, or have already started one, according to a study funded by the Kauffman Foundation.

Chris DelPrete, 22, tried the traditional route, working for Capital Grille as a chef. Seven months ago, DelPrete says he “wanted to see what else the business world had to offer” and struck out on his own with a food truck, Miami Press Gourmet Sandwiches. “I wanted to do things my way, the way I thought was the right way.” DelPrete quickly discovered the power of the Internet, using social media to broadcast his truck’s whereabouts to customers. He already has more than 700 Facebook followers. DelPrete said he’s paying back his dad, who loaned him money to buy the truck, and is on target to make a profit by the end of his first year in business.

However, DelPrete discovered independence comes with long hours; 10-hour days are not unusual. “It’s been fun and rewarding and, at times, hectic.” He encourages his peers to take the same leap he took.

Like DelPrete Millennials are seizing opportunity, wherever, whenever they see it, and that may be while they’re still in school or working a full-time job.

Of course, entrepreneurship is risky. About a third of new businesses fail within the first two years, according to the Small Business Administration. But it helps that Millennials are easing into their ventures. Odesk, a marketplace to match freelancers with work opportunities, found 21 percent of its users are making money on its platform while still in college, some making as much as $40 an hour for tech work and $30 an hour for non-tech projects.

And 72 percent of its freelancers — who consider themselves entrepreneurs — are making money while at regular jobs and want to quit within two years to work for themselves. “They are willing to trade traditional work experience for something that provides more freedom and flexibility,” said Gary Swart, CEO of oDesk. “They don’t want to be confined to a cubicle.”

Erik Bortzfield, 24, considers himself in the pre-stages of entrepreneurship. Bortzfield left a job with stability and benefits to work for a Boca Raton start-up, an ecommerce optimization software company where he was given equity. He says he has seen an advantage in working first for other employers — mostly figuring out what mistakes not to make and where his strengths lie.

“I would love to be on the beachfront running my company, but I know it’s a long road to get to that point. My plan is to see this company through to end, walk away with money and a means to start my own company.”

The Millennials’ bend toward entrepreneurship isn’t completely by choice. Unemployment is high for this age group and those that do have jobs aren’t loving them. Millennials report low levels of satisfaction with their careers at the stage they are at and are expected to have 10 jobs by the time they are 40, according to Schawbel’s Millennial Branding.

Across the country, universities are reacting. More now offer entrepreneurship programs and hands on assistance. Florida International University even has considered making an entrepreneurship course mandatory for all graduates. “We see that it’s very appealing to them control their own future,” says Seema Pissaris, a Professor of Entrepreneurship with the College of Business Administration at Florida International University. “The technology is available, and innovative ideas are coming their way. Every week something else catching on and it spurs their ideas.”

If traditional employers want to attract this innovative group, they will need to react, too. “They’re competing with a student’s dream to have their own venture,” Pissaris notes. To compete for this innovative talent, both Schawbel and Pissaris say employers will have to create ways for the entrepreneurial mindset to exist in corporations — give a project to a team and let them run with it, or change policies to promote independence.. A PWC survey of Millennials found they want the option to shift their work hours or work in locations outside the office.

“Some organizations have started to react to this trend,” Pissaris says. “The more successful organization absolutely will react.”

 

 

Should pregnant workers get special treatment?

When I was pregnant, I made full use of the special parking spot at my newspaper's offices for expecting mothers. It was right up in front of the building and saved me from walking for miles carrying around the 70 pounds I had gained with my daughter.

I didn't ask for special treatment, but it sure was nice to get it.

Now, there's legislation afoot not just to give expecting mothers special treatment, but to save them from losing their jobs or income -- just because they are pregnant. Today, Senators Casey and Shaheen, Representatives Nadler, Maloney, Speier, Davis and Fudge are proposing a Pregnant Workers Fairness Act to ensure that pregnant women are not forced out of jobs unnecessarily or denied reasonable job modifications that would allow them to continue working. 

It would seem like the U.S., the democratic country that we are, wouldn't need such legislation. Sadly, we do.

According to women's advocacy groups,  pregnant working women are being denied simple adjustments – permission to use a stool while working a cash register, or to carry a bottle of water to stay hydrated, or temporary reassignment to lighter duty tasks.

The Pregnant Workers Fairness Act that's being reintroduced in the House and Senate would close legal loopholes. It would prevent employers from forcing women out on leave when another reasonable accommodation would allow them to continue working.  The bill also bars employers from denying employment opportunities to women based on their need for reasonable accommodations related to pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical conditions.

Here are a few examples proponents are giving for the need: Amy Crosby, a hospital cleaner in Tallahassee, Florida, was forced into unpaid leave from her job when the hospital refused to accommodate her doctor’s request that she not lift more than 20 pounds because of her pregnancy; Heather Wiseman, a retail worker in Salina, Kansas, was fired because she needed to carry a water bottle to stay hydrated and prevent bladder infections; and Victoria Serednyj, an activity director at a nursing home in Valparaiso, Indiana, was terminated because she required help with some physically strenuous aspects of her job to prevent having another miscarriage.

I was pregnant three times and I can tell you that pregnancy, while exciting, can present all kinds of health concerns and on the job dilemmas. If a pregnant women is asking for an accommodation, it's only short term -- and there's a new life at stake. Will business groups fight this legislaion? Will they say it creates an undue hardship on the employer? 

So far, 138 advocacy and legal rights organizations have shown support for Pregnant Workers Fairness Act. It's being called common sense legislation.

I for one want to see just how much common sense our legislators have when it comes to something so basic as knowing the difference between special treatment and a reasonable accommodation for a pregnant worker. Women increasingly are the breadwinners in their families. They can't afford to be forced into unpaid medical leave or fired while pregnant. Let's get this law passed!

 

What moms really want for mother's day...Our kids attention

For Mother's Day, I want my kids' attention. I want them to do an activity with me -- plant flowers, ride bikes, go for a run, read a book. 

Lately, "Cats in the Cradle" my husband's favorite song, has begun playing in my head. When my children were younger, I would return home from work and they race toward me with open arms. My son used to immediately tug on my pant legs to be picked up.

But now that my two older children are teens, they're racing toward their friends, filling their calendars with social activities that don't include hanging out with parents.  I know it's normal. I know it's all good. But I also know that anything they could buy me for Mother's Day isn't as meaningful as giving me their time and attention.

For all those moms out there struggling to balance work and families, err on the side of spending more time with your kids. Many experienced moms will tell you raising children to young adults zips by fast. But it doesn't really hit home until, like me, you're a year away from a child leaving for college. 

Over this last week, my Inbox has been flooded with press releases for products to buy mom. People will spend an average of $40 each on mom. But what we really want can't be bought. Offers.com says Most moms are hoping for Mother’s Day gifts this year that are from the heart. Its Mother’s Day poll results reveals handmade, sentimental gifts are most popular. 

I know most of us moms would trade a gift for special time with our kids. And in the end, as we do our daily juggling act, we might want to remember, our kids -- old or young -- probably feel that way too.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you who are moms! 

 

Are we packing too much into our days?

Earlier this week I attended a funeral for a friend's mother. It was the first time in a long time that I shut my phone off for about four, almost five hours, during the work day. I felt  that if I took a peek at my phone during the mass or graveside ceremony it would be disrespectful. The odd part was how nice it felt to give myself permission to focus on just one thing.

I made the hour commute to the church with a friend who had taken the entire day off work to go to the funeral. My friend, a working mom, had run a few errands before picking me up and spent the commute home with me plotting her late afternoon errands -- taking kids to the dentist, picking up a mother's day gift, mailing a package. I spoke to her later that night and she had accomplished it all. Yet, she was absolutely exhausted.

Have we gone too far in driving ourselves to get more done? Are we trying to pack too much into our days? As a nation, we've become obsessed with productivity. Our to-dos lists are growing and our calendars are overflowing. 

So, how do we slow down?

The answer is insanely obvious...we simply be present in life.

Some days, something as simple as having a cup of coffee becomes a juggling act of replying to emails and surfing the web. Give yourself permission to do less and think more. 

What if you don't get to the 10 things on your to-do list? What if you just got to the one that made the most impact on your life for that one day?

I recently read an article in the Wall Street Journal about how to come up with a great idea. It was filled with great suggestions but the one that made the most sense is Be Present in Life. If you're not busy running around trying to pack more into your day and you just slow down, you might find a great idea is right under your nose. 

If we really want better work life balance, we are going to need to trade super-productiveness for sanity. That's hard to remember some days. But after decades of trying to be super mom, I'm finally focusing on sanity.

Moms who save children's lives

Is there any work life balance for moms in medicine?

Linda Brodsky, an pediatric otolaryngologist, has received a grant from the American Medical Women’s Association to study the experiences, attitudes, and work habits of women physicians. She told me the health care system is not readily adapting to how men and women work differently. 

Being a physician is extremely difficult, particularly for moms, she says. "If you go into it, expect a tough road. Being overwhelmed is the nature of every day life as woman physician. To think otherwise is naïve or romanticized."

Yet, 13 percent of all physicians are women, and they are expected to be 50 percent of the doctor population by 2040. "Women are going into medicine despite barriers and challenges because they want to be part of an exciting field," Brodsky explains.

 Today, in my Miami Herald column, just in time for Mother's Day, I featured doctor moms and learned how they juggle saving children's lives and raising their own families.

Help at home is critical for doctor moms

By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

The Deeter family is shown in the living room of their plantation home on Sunday, May 5, 2013. Dr. Kris Deeter gets help at home fro her mom and husband.            Gregory Castillo / Miami Herald Staff

 

By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

For Kristina Deeter, a hard day at work could include resuscitating a toddler who nearly drowned, adjusting medication for a child who is struggling to tolerate a new heart or setting up a premature baby on life support.

Then, after an intense 12-hour shift, Deeter, a 41-year-old pediatric intensive care physician, will go home to her own children — and try not to be a hyper-sensitive mom. “My job makes me very aware that anything can happen,” she says. “I think that makes my relationships with my own kids more special.”

Many working parents — and mothers in particular — tread a delicate line between demanding careers and the needs of family. But for mothers in medicine, the stakes are particularly high.

 

“It’s a critical job and I can’t just run out the door if something happens at home,” says Deeter who is part of an 9-doctor team with Pediatric Critical Care of South Florida, which operates the pediatric intensive care unit at Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital in Hollywood and North Naples Hospital in Southwest Florida. “I say I’m sorry to my kids and husband a lot. But when it’s really important, I’m there.”

To help her children understand why she works such long hours, Deeter has introduced her children to patients and even brought them with her to bereavement ceremonies.. “I don’t want them damaged by my job, but I do want them to have that compassion to help others.’’

As women have come up the ranks in the male-dominated field of medicine, they have changed the practice, taken a more nurturing approach to interacting with patients and families and made it more acceptable to openly talk about challenges of many years of schooling, training, a high-stress environment, long and unpredictable hours — and motherhood. Today, nearly 13 percent of physicians are female, compared with about 8 percent a decade ago, according to the American Medical Association.

Toba Niazi, 34, is the rarest of women in medicine: a neurosurgeon. Only 200 — about 7 percent of the nation’s roughly 3,300 board-certified neurosurgeons — are female. On a given day, Niazi might meticulously remove a tumor from a child’s brain or skillfully repair a baby’s spinal cord. She operates as part of the three-person department at Miami Children’s Hospital and serves as a voluntary faculty member at the University of Miami, which means she sees children who are pediatric neurology patients at Jackson Memorial Hospital.

Niazi also is the mother of a 2-year-old and an 8-month-old. Pregnancy was difficult. She spent eight to 10 hours at a time on her feet in the operating room — without a bathroom break. Of course, motherhood is a challenge, too. “It’s hard to leave your 2-year-old when you’re going to work and say, ‘I’ll see you in 12 or 16 hours,’ especially when you leave them with a caretaker that is not family,” she says.

After long emotional days at work, Niazi says she wants to be the one to tuck her tots into bed at night. That doesn’t always happen.

Like many doctor moms, Niazi’s husband also is a physician, a stroke neurologist at Baptist Health South Florida. A full-time nanny cares for the kids during the day, but dad’s schedule allows him to be the parent at home at night when his wife is on call or works late. “He gets what I deal with and understands when I have a sick child I have to take care of and can’t come home,” Niazi explains. “I don’t think anyone else would tolerate it.”

Support at home is essential. So are the right workplace partnerships or teams who share responsibilities and support motherhood.

Positive outcomes are critical not just for moms in medicine, but for the nation at large. Amid a potential physician shortage, an increasing numbers of doctors — mostly women — are deciding to work part time or leave the profession.

Setting up a system that works can take some trial and error — and staying power.

“It’s a long road and at times during that road, you think ‘wow can I do this?’ It’s your passion that gets you through it,” Niazi explains.

Ana Russo, 33, says she can go from shuttling her child to school to keeping another child alive within the same hour. She’s a nurse who is on the frontline when a child with a traumatic injury arrives at Jackson Memorial Hospital Ryder Trauma Center in Miami.

As a mother of two boys, 6 and 2, she says it’s almost impossible to not to relate to the heartache parents endure when their child is critically injured riding a bicycle, swimming in a pool or crossing the street. It has made her a much more cautious mother, maybe even overly cautious. She insists her kids wear elbow and knee pads and a helmet when they ride their bikes. “It’s hard to not keep my kids in a bubble with everything I see at work.”

Russo says some days, she gets emotionally attached to saving a young patient, feeling a sense of responsibility. As a mother herself, “you care for that child like your own.” Her days can stretch into night without an opportunity to check in at home during her 12-hour shift. “That’s why you have to have a good support system at home.” She relies on her husband and aunt to be there for homework, afterschool activities and dinner.

Lynn Meister, 52, worked full days and many nights as a pediatric hematologist/oncologist while raising two children, now in their 20s. She says she relied heavily on her husband for help at home and never once felt the personal sacrifices outweighed the rewards.

For years Meister would get asked, “’As a mother, how can you do that kind of work? Doesn’t it make you afraid?’ But I wasn’t afraid. I always felt like I had so much to offer because I am a mother.”

She, too, experienced the medical nightmare as a parent, when her then 12-year-old daughter was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor. That daughter now is an eight-year cancer survivor. Meister says the experience made the balancing act that much more important to her and led her to become an even better doctor.

Yet, Meister says her biggest battle was with imperfection, a common struggle among working mothers. “I felt like I never was doing quite as good a job as I could as a doctor or mother.” Today, she encourages other women to stick with medicine. “My son and daughter are fine adults, and if I can cure a child of cancer what can be better than that?”

Sheryl Sandberg's husband gives his view on work life balance

I LOVE this interview with SurveyMonkey CEO Dave Goldberg. He talked with Business Insider about how he manages work life balance, and what it's like being married to Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook's COO.

Some of the issues he tackles: unplugging from work, dating long distance, making time for hobbies, meshing two highly demanding careers and using a family calendar.

I'm not sure if things are as fairy tale as they seem, but this high powered couple seems to have figured work life balance out in a way that works for them. Check out the video and let's hear your thoughts about their approach to work life balance, marriage and family.

 

 

Are companies really beefing up perks?

An article in the Sun Sentinel this morning says employers are beefing up perks to keep their talented rosters intact. One staffing recruiter said the pendulum has swung back and that bonuses are back in vogue. Another company said it's going to offer employees additional training.

To that, I say, "Hogwash!"

While some employers in very specific industries might be saying outloud that they are increasing benefits, I'm having trouble believing its true in most industries and for most businesses.

Is your employer becoming more generous?

To me, It just doesn't seem like the economy has come back enough for employers to want to take on any upfront costs for more or better benefits.

Just this morning, the Daily writes: 

Wondering why you haven't seen the performance you've hoped for from your 401(k) lately? A big reason may be that your employer is simply not putting what it used to into the account. 

One of the best perks of 401(k) plans is the matching contribution that employers traditionally make when workers save money in the retirement accounts. Yet these days, fewer companies are making 401(k) matches: The number of companies offering matching has fallen by almost 7 percent since 2009, according to a study from American Investment Planners. The trend of cutting back matching is just one way employers are taking the scalpel to their benefits budgets. The AIP study found that 6 percent of 401(k) plans have been terminated outright.

Are times changing after years of layoffs and high unemployment? Maybe a little, but not much. We know it's costly to replace an employee. I just don't think most employers believe they can't easily replace most workers -- not yet!

Of course, there are benefits that help retain top talent without a big investment -- smart employers have figured that out.

What are those perks?

Rosemary Haefner, Vice President of Human Resources at CareerBuilder, "Being compensated well will always be a top consideration, but we're seeking work-life balance, telecommuting options and learning opportunities outweigh other job factors when an employee decides whether to stay with an organization."

So readers, what are your thoughts? Do you think companies are beefing up perks? Do you think they have realized yet that they will need to do that to keep their good workers?