April 16, 2015

Take a pause, Get in flow, Learn to play

                                       Trapeze

 

 

Have you ever heard of flow? Let me describe it to you....

Picture yourself on a surfboard, riding a wave. You are living in the moment, utterly absorbed in the feel of the board on the water, the sound of the wave and the splash of the ocean on your face.  Time seems to fall away. You are tired, but you barely notice. According to Steven Kotler, what you are experiencing in that moment is known as flow, a state of complete immersion in an activity. 

When you're in flow, your attention is focused and you are capable of amazing things,  every action flows effortlessly and innovation gets amplified. 

Flow experiences can occur in different ways for different people. A writer might experience this when working on a novel and the pages seem to write themselves. A basketball player might experience it when he gets into the zone, undergoes a loss of self-consciousness and focuses only on his shot from center court.

Flow states are now known to optimize performance, enhance creativity, drive innovation, accelerate learning and amplify memory.

The happiest people have flow. I don't have flow. I have stress. I am walking around with a to-do list that never gets shorter and I'm always thinking about ten things at the same time.

But I can get flow and so can you.

I bet you're thinking, "How in the world would I do that?" That's what I was thinking when I heard Steven Kotler speak about flow earlier this week at Human Capital Media's  Chief Learning Officer Symposium in Miami. Steven wrote  the book "The Rise of Superman: Decoding the Science of Ultimate Human Performance and says we can tap flow at work, home, or skiing down a mountain.

Here are a few of Steven's suggestions for triggering flow: Choose your own challenges, Put yourself in an unpredictable environment, stretch yourself just slightly greater than your skill set, embrace solitude, be aware of your senses, engage in serious concentration.

After hearing Kotler speak, I wandered into a nearby room at the conference to hear Yogi Roth talk about finding your inner grit. Roth, calls himself an Aventure-preneur (don't you love that title!) From Roth, I learned that I don't pause enough to think about my personal style, my vision, my theme and my philosophy.  I want to pause more, and think about these things. I want inner grit.

To get it, Roth says I must make sure how I describe myself, how my best friend describes me and how my mentor describe me are the same. I will start working on that...

Thanks Yogi, good stuff to know.

Most important, from Brigid Schulte, author of Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time and the final speaker at the conference, I learned that I don't take enough time to play. When is the last time you jumped on a trampoline, glided through air on a swing or climbed a tree? For me, it's been way too long ago. So, if I want work life balance and a less stressful life, I must learn to play. I like the idea of playing more, don't you? At Patagonia,  managers have their meetings while hiking mountains and people take time in the afternoons to surf with co-workers. I love that concept -- play at work.

Do you know that in some parts of the country  there are women's play groups? Yes, these women get together weekly for playdates for a fun activity -- they trapeze, rock climb and bike ride. How cool is that!

Clearly, I have a few things to work on if I want to up my game. 

What are your thoughts on flow, grit, and play? If you have tapped into flow or found a way to fit play into your day, I want to hear from you. How do you make these concepts a reality? 

April 09, 2015

An amazing perk: paternity coaching

It's a fact, fathers hesitate to take paternity leave. But that may change as more companies offer it and more men see the value. Paternity coach Delaine Barr is a member of the Ernst & Young Americas Executive Coaching Team. She has been working with some of the men at the accounting firm who are eligible to take up to six weeks leave in total. I spoke with her to gain an idea of this valuable perk for new fathers.

UnknownQ. What is the process of working with a maternity or paternity coach like?

A. We aren’t structured in our approach. When I’m working with a new parent, I let them drive the conversation. If they are getting ready or thinking of going on leave, I have them describe what a successful leave would look like for them at home and work.

Q. How many sessions are involved?

 

A. We offer up to eight sessions. They are done on a monthly basis. If someone has a lot of momentum around a specific topic, he or she may not want to wait another four weeks, so we touch base in two weeks. Some people might start their coaching sessions three months before they go on leave. Others in the program start when they are getting ready to come back from leave. Not everyone starts or stops coaching at the same point in their transition.

Q. Are your sessions by phone in person or on Skype?

A. Usually by phone. I have people I coach who are all over the United States and Canada

Q. What are issues that come up after someone returns from parental leave?

A. The biggest fear with any new parent is typically what happens to the work while I’m gone. How connected should I be, can I be and do I want to be while on leave? When they come back, I find a lot of discussion or concern with what kind of professional am I going to be now that I have these responsibilities at home. Most are high performers who are used to performing above average. They are worried that now they will be just an average performer and want to know how to shift.

Q. What advice do you offer them about that shift?

A. I get them thinking about everything they are involved in at home and work and help them get clear. I ask them what things they want to keep doing and what are some of those things someone else might be able to.

Q. Do you discuss the stigma with paternity leave?

A. It comes up. But in my experience in coaching new dads, I don’t hear about it as much as I used to. Some dads have been told, “I hope you have a great vacation,” when they actually will be busier at home caring for a baby than at work.

Q. How is paternity coaching different than maternity coaching?

A. There are so many similarities. I really find that both moms and dads are looking for ways to make things work, for ways to be better organized at home and at work. I found over a period of time that dads have become more vocal about saying they have responsibilities at home and making time for those.

Q. What comes up in your coaching sessions that most new parents hadn’t thought about?

A. Having one calendar for all events at home and work. Usually that means merging two calendars and using one and sending invites to your spouse or significant other when events are going on at home or work. It helps them to see their day, week and month and plan accordingly.

Q. What are issues men face as fathers in the workplace, particularly during transitions?

A. Making time for their family. Even when I’m coaching them on career transitions, I find men will talk about their opportunity, but in the back of their mind want to make sure it doesn’t take away from being there for their kids.

Q. What advice do you have for a new father?

A. Get clear on what things are most important, the nonnegotiable. The biggest benefit in working with a coach is you are going to explore those things that are most important to you and come up with an action plan tailored to your needs. You will have a coach asking about your progress, celebrating success, and where you are not making progress, they are going to ask about what’s going on.

Q. Do you have advice for someone who isn’t fortunate enough to have the benefit of a paternity or maternity coach?

A. If you are not working with a coach, I’m a big believer in finding a mentor mom or dad who you can talk to about specific situations to learn how they handled similar experiences.


Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/news/business/biz-columns-blogs/cindy-krischer-goodman/article17806391.html#storylink=cpy

 

April 08, 2015

Is chit chat ruining your work life balance?

                                         Chitchat


A few days ago, a panel of women leaders gathered for The Commonwealth Institute South Florida luncheon. During a panel discussion, one of the women leaders , Gillian Thomas, spoke about how she came from the U.K. where meetings are run differently than in the U.S. Mostly, they are more efficient, she said, because they are all business. When she arrived in the U.S., she realized that chit chat is part of most business meetings. "I've had to learn to respect that," she said.

Yet, there is a movement underway to shorten business meetings and eliminate chit chat.

Not long ago, you may recall I wrote about a business owner who does most of his interaction by email. He considers phone calls and in person meetings a huge waste of time, mostly because he abhors chit chat. He calls small talk: "the biggest time waster known to man."

And, plenty of productivity gurus will tell you that chit chat wreaks havoc on our work life balance because it makes meetings and phone calls longer and distracts us from getting work done.

Still, I'm a big proponent of chit chat. To me, it's what makes the person sitting next to you more human. From a business perspective chit chat helps you find common ground with a client or co-worker. Getting to know someone on a more personal level makes them more likely to want to work with you. It makes them see you as a whole person and often it makes them respect your personal life that much more.

Have you ever worked with someone who was all business? I have and while I was extremely efficient when I work with them or for them, I didn't feel motivated to give any extra effort.

Not long ago I heard a businesswoman tell her story about how she landed a seat on a prestigious all-male board of a major corporation. She had played hockey in college and was a huge fan of the local NHL team. The chairman of the board was a big hockey fan too. During the interview process, they had chit chatted about hockey. It disarmed the man and made him see this woman as someone who could fit in. The male candidates who interviewed for the board seat had avoided chit chat but the woman, who also had amazing credentials, stood out.

I've noticed that small talk can lead to a variety of positive outcomes, from a merely pleasant exchange to the signing of multimillion-dollar business deal. It's a way to connect and while it may seem like a time drain to some, likeability is a key factor in getting hired, promoted or engaged as a vendor. And what determines a large portion of your likeability? You guessed it: your ability to small talk.

At the same TCI luncheon last week, the panelists were asked about their leadership styles. Alex Villoch publisher of The Miami Herald, said her style is all about getting out of her office and chit chatting with staff. "When you stay in your office, people will come in and tell you want they think you want to hear," she said. By roaming around and talking to employees, Villoch says she picks up small tidbits that often lead to big ideas.

Some of us feel guilty about wasting time at work. I say, go ahead and build chit chat into your workday. Good leaders do it, good networkers do it, good team builders do it. Small talk matters. That's something to consider next time you feel annoyed by a simple "How's your day going?"

April 06, 2015

Why women and young people don't want the top job

Gap


Inside the cubicles at many workplaces, there's a strange trend taking place.

Young people are comfortable and really don't want to upgrade their cubicle for the corner office. A new survey calls it the "Aspiration Gap".

In a recent study by talent management firm Saba and WorkplaceTrends.com, just 31% of Millennials said they aspire to a C-level position at their company. Also disinterested in the top job: women. Only 36 percent of women versus 64 percent of men aspire to be C-level executives in their organization.

What's going on?

While millennials do prioritize work life balance, Dan Schawbel, Founder of WorkplaceTrends.com., says the reason for the aspiration gap could be simple: "They just don’t see the path up."


According to Fortune, an obvious factor that explains why fewer women respondents expressed an interest in executive positions is not for a lack of ambition, but rather a lack of women role models at the top. After all, there are only 24 female CEOs in the United States’ biggest companies.

“You can’t be what you can’t see,” says Caroline Ghosn, founder of Levo League, an online community dedicated to helping women in the early stages of their careers. “If I look up the food chain in my company and I don’t want to be any of the people that I see, what’s my incentive to advance?”

Schawbel says companies don't realize there's big trouble ahead: The lack of interest in leadership comes at a time when 30 percent of HR executives polled said they were struggling to find candidates to fill senior leadership roles. It also comes as 10,000 boomers retire every day.

"Most companies are waiting around. This is not as big of an issue now as it will be in the next 3 to 5 years," Schawbel says. "But we see problem now and think they should start to do something about it before it's too late."

One way simple way to do this is to provide employees with more opportunities to learn new skills. The survey found one reason workers lack interest is because they feel they aren't getting proper training for top jobs.

Emily He, Chief Marketing Officer of Saba, said: “There’s more at play than the retirement of Baby Boomers; the fundamental approaches businesses take to find, develop and inspire leaders at all levels need to change.”

Schawbel said employees are looking for personal career direction and suggests employers address the aspiration gap in these ways:

* Train and engage potential leaders so they have a better chance of becoming future executives.
* Help women and young workers feel their requests for leadership development are heard
* Provide more learning opportunities at all levels, particularly for women.
* Initiate succession planning programs
* Pair new hires with mentors

"By providing training and making millennials more confident in their roles, they might be more aspirational," Schawbel says.

What are your thoughts on why young people and women don't want the top job? Do you think they need more training? Or, do you think they are put off by the time commitment required of top leaders and the lack of work life balance?

April 01, 2015

Career or job?

Yesterday, I was on the phone with a business owner who mentioned she had interviewed a woman for a job at her company. She wanted someone for the position who planned to work beyond expectations and strive for advancement.

This business owner was frustrated.

The woman she interviewed had the qualifications, but wanted a 9-to-5 job. She had kids that needed to be picked up from daycare and dinner to put on the table. She turned the owner off by asking about the hours. "There's a big difference between a career and job," the annoyed business owner said to me. "She has a bunch of degrees, but this woman just wanted a job."

Yes, she did, and there's nothing wrong with it.

I agree with the business owner that there is a difference between a career and a job.

The people who have a career rarely work 40 hours a week. The people who have a career think about work during their off hours. The people who have a career make sacrifices in their personal lives to be more productive at work.

I've often thought about the difference between a career and a job, particularly when my husband is irritated by my taking a work call in the evening. I consider myself someone with a career and that means I'm going to take the late night call to make my article the best it can be, regardless of whether it infringes on my personal time.

In the career vs. job debate, pay is not a differentiator. Some careers pay the same as jobs.

Titles are not a differentiator. Some job titles sound glamorous, even though the job holder has little responsibility.

Advancement is not a differentiator. Some jobs may allow you to advance, however, not by much. Careers build on experience and the expectation of advancement. They require an emotional investment.

At some point, your work life needs may require you hold just a job. At other points, you may want to ramp up and concentrate on a career.

The key is knowing what the expectations of a position are and making sure it suits your work life balance needs at that point in time.

There is no shame in either choice. Jobs can help people start careers. They can get people through challenging times when work life balance is a concern. They can provide income without major responsibility.

It appears this woman was not a fit for the position in which she interviewed. That's something to know before going in. No one should judge whether anyone else is "wasting their education." Life is about choices and individual happiness and ramping up and down according to life's demands.

Being clear about whether you want a job or career can save you and your boss and tons of frustration. If you're in a position that you just need a paycheck, do the tasks you are hired to do and conserve your emotional and mental energy for the other pieces of your life. If you want a career, be upfront about your aspirations,turn on the passion and put in extra effort it takes to advance.

Either one -- job or career -- is okay, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

March 27, 2015

Working parents: your boss may be judging you

Image
(Katharine Zaleski)

If people don’t quit their jobs, they quit their boss. How do you become a boss that workers refuse to leave?


The answer looks obvious from recent online discussion: Refrain from judging employees with an outside life.


In an apology letter to working mothers that set off a firestorm of online buzz, the president of an Internet startup gave a harsh account of how workers with family responsibilities are unfairly judged by their bosses.


As a manager at The Huffington Post and then The Washington Post in her mid-20s, Katharine Zaleski admits that she judged other mothers or said nothing while she saw others do the same.


“I secretly rolled my eyes at a mother who couldn’t make it to last-minute drinks with me and my team,” she wrote in a letter that appeared in Fortune. “I questioned her ‘commitment’ even though she arrived two hours earlier to work than me and my hungover colleagues the next day. I didn’t disagree when another female editor said we should hurry up and fire another woman before she ‘got pregnant.’


In a move that goes on in many workplaces, Zaleski said she scheduled last-minute meetings at 4:30 p.m. all of the time. “It didn’t dawn on me that parents might need to pick up their kids at daycare,” she said.

Zaleski said she didn’t realize how horrible she had been until she gave birth to her own daughter. She now runs PowerToFly, a company that matches women who want to work from home with jobs in the tech field.

We all know that Zaleski isn't the only boss who has harshly judged a working mother -- or father. It can be easy to dismiss a working parent as uncommitted, a worker with elder care responsibilities as distracted, or a younger employee who wants to train for a marathon as lacking work ethic. It can be easy to call super early morning or schedule evening dinners with clients that can happen during the regular workday.

But you don’t need to be in a person’s shoes to be a boss who creates a workplace where employees thrive. A good boss thinks about the bigger picture and realizes people have lives outside of work -- and that allowing them to do both well makes them more committed to their jobs!

I find myself offering encouragement almost weekly to a working mother or father who feels judged by a boss for asking for flex time or wanting to leave by 5 to make it to their son’s soccer game. Their most common complaint: my boss will penalize me.

A report from Bright Horizons Family Solutions, an employer benefit child-care and early education company, reveals many employees - male and female - feel they can’t be open with their boss about family obligations. As more fathers want to be equal partners in parenting, they still feel they can’t express that to their boss, especially non-parents. Bright Horizons found about a third of working dads have faked sick to be more involved with their family, and one in four have lied to meet a family obligation, according to the report.


That could change.

As millennials become managers, many do think differently about work/life needs. They want to be more involved in thier children's lives and may make it easier for thier staffers to balance work and family without being judged.

If you feel like your boss or co- worker is judging you for having a life outside of work, it might be time to speak up. Communicate your accomplishments and the ways you show your commitment to your job. It's unfortunate to think that some managers don't see the value that working parents bring to a workplace.

Have you felt judged by a manager for having personal responsibilities or interests outside of work? How did you handle it?


March 24, 2015

HBO''s GIRLS producer talks workplace dos and don'ts

 

Whether or not you are a fan of HBO's GIRLS, the hit show with Lena Dunham, I think you will enjoy this Glamour Step Into My Office Segment with executive producer Jennifer Konner. It has some great career advice from Jennifer on how to negotiate salary, demand equal pay and create a fun working environment. Jennifer also addresses whether it is okay to cry at work and discloses her workplace policies.

I would want to work for Jennifer Konner. Let me know if you feel that way, too.

March 20, 2015

On International Day of Happiness, lots to think about

Happy

 

 

Today is International Day of Happiness and it's making me wonder: Is there too much pressure on us to be happy?

The prior generations worked hard at home, in manufacturing plants, in offices. They found happiness in small moments when family or friends were gathered around the dinner table or sitting out on the porch. Today, we're so busy. There is so much pressure on us to make money, eat healthy, exercise, respond to what's on our smartphones. We're supposed to do everything on our to-do lists, help solve world problems, raise super-motivated kids and be super happy.

Have we set ourselves up to fall short?

I just read an article in the New York Times about a new play on Broadway, a revival of Wendy Wasserstein's The Heidi Chronicles. The headline of the article read: A Debate of the '80s, Motherhood vs. Career, Still Resonates. Even as more women work than stay at home, we still are debating whether we can have it all. We have put tremendous pressure on ourselves to have amazing work lives and happy home lives. 

And, on top of that, we can't even manage to allow ourselves time off to take real vacations. 

“Americans are among the world’s worst vacationers,” said John de Graaf, President of Take Back Your Time. “According to U.S. Travel Association, some 40 percent of Americans leave an average of seven or more days of paid vacation on the table every year."

Why can't we slow down and allow ourselves to be happy? Is our struggle for work life balance standing in the way of our happiness?

We need to look at what's standing in the way of our happiness in our personal and wife lives.  It requires introspection and maybe some rethinking of the definition of happiness.

Experts tell us the obstacle to a happier life could be ourselves, or someone else. In the workplace, we tend to be unhappy when we clash with our boss or co-worker. At home we tend to be unhappy when our expectations from our friends, relatives or children aren't met.

Regardless, we have the power to improve the lines of communication, lower our expectations, and tell others what we need from them. 

Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, believes we can tinker with our small habits to create more happiness in our lives. I think we can all be happier if we stop putting pressure on ourselves to be perfect, happy people who are elated and confident every moment of every day.

On this International Day of Happiness, I'm issuing all of you a challenge: Come up with one small change you can make that will increase your level of happiness. Take a vacation day, refuse to let a co-worker ruin your work experience, ask your spouse for help with chores, take up a new hobby, allow yourself to make mistakes. Most important, notice when you are happy and recreate that experience as often as possible.

I'm planning to allow myself time each day to power down and live in the moment. I'm convinced that will help me feel happier.

What are your thoughts on happiness?

Are too many of us just getting through our lives without examining whether we are happy? If you've made a change that has increased your happiness level, please share!

March 18, 2015

Pat Pineda: How She Got to the Top at Toyota

IMG_2247

 

 

 

 

At 63, Patricia Salas Pineda is a bundle of energy as she runs around Miami this week representing Toyota at one of the nation's largest Hispanic events, Hispanicize. This mother of three has spent 30 years at Toyota and holds a key spot as one of the highest ranking women and THE highest ranked Hispanic at the company. She is in Miami because she leads the Hispanic Business Strategy Group, which focuses on strengthening Toyota's already existing ties to the Latin community.

Pat talked with me about how she got to the top of her company and offered advice to other women.

Most important, she says, plotting a successful career path involves being open to opportunities within different areas of a company. In her case, during her 30 years at Toyota, she has held positions in the legal department, with the Toyota Foundation and now she is group vice president of Hispanic business strategy for Toyota Motor North America  “I feel fortunate to have spent my career with a company that supported my career and offered me different opportunities.”

Pineda says she became a Latina executive in an industry where there were very few women holding senior positions. Some acquaintances called her a “trailblazer.” Her family and friends used another word to describe my career choice: “crazy.”

I prodded Pat to find out just how she managed the climb at Toyota while raising three children.

This trailblazer was with Toyota a decade before having children, which she says allowed her to prove herself and become confident in her role. “I was one of the first female managers and proud to be among a group of women throughout Toyota’s companies who were moving up through the ranks.”

Having help at home and a supportive husband who worked from home helped with the work life juggle. “It made my situation much easier. But that’s not to say it was without challenges.” Her children now are 28, 27 and 22 and she’s optimistic about other women at her company successfully balancing work and family. “It is possible to enjoy a family life and have a successful career.” 

Pat sees positive changes ahead for working parents, particularly because of the mindset of young managers in her workplace. “The younger men want to be more engaged fathers. They are less reluctant about taking time to go to their son or daughter’s event. I think that’s helpful because they are more sensitive to others with demands at home.”

In her rise to leadership, Pat was guided by male mentors inside and outside of her company. She came in contact with those outside her company through board positions. “Serving on external boards gave them an opportunity to observe me in action. They were able to help me obtain other key board positions.”

Today, Pat serves on the Board of Directors for Levi Strauss & Co. and is a Corporate Advisory Board Member for National Council of La Raza and an Alumni Trustee for The Rand Corporation.

With the benefit of hindsight, Pat says she would tell young mothers not to worry about what others might think about their choices. She remembers worrying about who might see her leaving for a medical appoint or whether to work from home because it was the nanny’s day off. “I wish I had worried less because it was really unnecessary.”

By staying with Toyota, Pat has brought the company tremendous value. She was chosen as one of the 25 most powerful Latinas by People en Español in 2014: “Across the roles I have had, I've been good at developing external relationships that have been helpful to the company.” Her relationships span from the Hispanic community, to the non-profit world, to elected officials to the media. “I have shared with them the wonderful things Toyota is doing. I think that’s why the company has been so supportive.”

Often, Pat finds herself counseling young mothers who are thinking of leaving the workplace. “I tell them, 'don’t make that decision now.' ” Most women have thanked her for encouraging them to “hang in there” and have gone on to success in their jobs. “That’s not to say staying doesn’t have consequences but I think a lot of women make that decision sooner than is prudent.”

 

Pat Pineda’s Career Climb From present to past:

* Group vice president of Hispanic business strategy for Toyota Motor North America, Inc. She leads the Hispanic Business Strategy Group (HBSG), which focuses on strengthening Toyota's already existing ties to the Latin community

* Head of the Toyota U.S.A. Foundation, overseeing national philanthropy efforts

* Toyota Motor North America group vice president of corporate communications and general counsel.

* Vice president of human resources, government and legal affairs and corporate secretary for New United Motor Manufacturing, Inc. (NUMMI), the corporate joint venture between Toyota Motor Corporation and General Motors Corporation,

 

March 13, 2015

Would you want a work life do-over? Hitting a milestone birthday

  50

This weekend I hit a huge milestone in life. I’m turning 50! 

That sounds old, doesn’t it?

Turning 50 marks a shift – physically and emotionally: My back aches a little. My flexibility is not what it was just a decade ago. My children are growing up, my parents are growing old and my home is getting emptier.

On the up side, I’m alive, healthy, working and happily married.

I look around and I see people accomplishing amazing feats in their later years of life. They are starting businesses, mentoring young professionals and advancing in their companies. They are traveling, taking up new hobbies and enjoying their romantic relationships in ways they didn’t have time for while raising their young children or that they put off for later.

Seeing others embrace their senior years has inspired me. When I recently read this week about Patrick Pichette, the 52-year old CFO of Google, who unexpectedly said he was retiring to get to the fun stuff he kept putting off for later in life, I understood where he was coming from.

Like most people my age, I have more wrinkles than I did a few years ago. I’m not going to lie, that bothers me.  But I also have a lot more confidence, direction and a new appreciation for the people in my life. 

After 50 years, I know now that fun and happiness are ageless. Betty While sure looks like she’s having a great time! At 64, Diana Nyad became the first person to swim from Cuba to Florida without a protective cage, fulfilling her longtime dream -- and she's has lots more on her bucket list.

When I look at my peers, I see how easy it can be to get caught up in our Inboxes, our social media accounts, our work projects, and let the stress of our jobs overwhelm us. With half a century behind me, I’m beginning to realize life is too short to waste time being stressed or unsure of our priorities.

I ask myself: If offered a do over, would I take it? The answer is no. 

By now, I also have learned that life is not fair, that awful things happen to wonderful people and sometimes even courage and will power aren’t enough to defeat the odds. It’s that perspective that makes work life balance worth striving to obtain!

 

When I blow out the candles on my birthday cake, I will appreciate the blessings in my life and look forward to the great years ahead. There are no do-overs but there are all kinds of opportunities for 50 years olds who are open to taking them. That will be me, and if you’re creeping up on 50 -- or hitting another milestone in your life --  I hope it will be you too.