Being honest about getting fired

       Mika Brzezinski of MSNBC's Morning Joe has people talking about getting fired.

  On the Huffington Post, Tuesday, Brzezinski says she learned there are many psychological phases of being "let go," especially when you are a parent.

When she had a very public and painful exit from CBS, she acted to her kids like she was giving them a gift. She sugarcoated the whole thing. She says it was a big mistake.

"I fed them a speech explaining how great this would be for all of us and quickly moved on, thinking I had done the right thing as a protective mother.  The next day, the school called: Eight-year-old Carlie was upset, and the teacher asked if i could come in."

    Brzezinski says she found Carlie outside her classroom in the fetal position. The teacher said, "Carlie tells me you're leaving your job , and she's very upset." Brzezinski turned to her daughter and said, "that's a good thing, right? It's a good thing because we'll get time together. No more rushing, No more missing your events. No more job!" Carlie pulled her head up and said, "But Mommy, you love it so much! I don't want you to have to leave  your job."

Brzezinki writes on the HP: "That moment was the first time I truly cried about what had happened to me, to us. I realized it would be OK to mourn together, to be angry together, to be discouraged together, and to be honest with each other." She writes: "A fundamental lesson on being fired: Never lie about it...job loss is an opportunity to show them what you are made of."

I too, had to explain to my kids that I was laid off from a job I love. Fortunately, it worked out for me as I negotiated new terms to continue as a writer. I was honest with my kids but it was hard. My youngest walked around for two days telling everyone, "My mommy got fired."  When you are grappling with your own feelings, it's difficult to explain them to your kids in a honest way. Your natural instinct as a parent is to sugarcoat the situation. I took that route, telling my kids how lucky they were that I would be working from home from now on. But I can imagine how hard it would be if job loss meant extreme financial hardship for the family. Does that require more or less honesty with your kids?

What do you think about talking to your kids about getting downsized, fired or laid off? Do you think you should sugarcoat the situation? Or should you use it as an opportunity to show them how the real world works?

  

Comments

[Brahim Derder]

The truth sets you free
The old adage "The truth sets you free" is always TRUE, no matter what you think, because ultimately the truth comes out and others, especially your significant others such as your kids, will find out that you twisted the truth (you lied!), perhaps under the pretext of not upsetting them, or because of self- shame, etc. No, excuses are valid for not “just” telling the naked truth, and not sugarcoating it.
Telling the truth is the only right way, no matter what your excuses are, because it is the truth, and I know, the truth hurts, sometimes, but, it hurts only once- when you divulge it- and after that you have nothing to worry about. Telling the truth will allow you to focus and allocate your energy towards dealing with the situation objectively, and without wasting energy of being discovered and the fear that goes with holding or sugarcoating the truth. Telling the truth about getting downsized, fired or laid off, in my opinion, is the only right way. It sets an example for your kids on how to deal with “real” world.
Check my Blog at: www.ryse.wetpaint.com, and join the discussions; you will learn something, and perhaps teach others a few things, by leaving your opinion.