The Work/Life Balancing Act

Working Mom Takes a Risk to Improve her Work Life Balance

One day, Luly B., a working mom, looked at her life and her business and decided she needed to make a change. I admire that. It's easy to get in a rut but it takes guts to restructure your work or home life to bring more balance to your situation. I'm thrilled to have Luly as my guest blogger today to share her experience.

Here's her story:

 

For more than 15 years, Lourdes Balepogi – or as she’s affectionately known, Luly B – has consulted, coached and connected her way to the top of her profession. She is the president of Chispa Marketing, her Miami-based boutique marketing firm. She recently launched Luly B., Inc. in an effort to empower women entrepreneurs to have it all. She’s an expert speaker, consultant and strategist with a contagious energy that will undoubtedly leave you inspired to act.

 

 

I did it. I took the plunge. Followed my passion. No fear. No pride. Just plain and simple, I decided to make a dream come true.

My dream?

To share my expertise and experiences not only as a marketing expert of 15 years, but also my journey as a mom entrepreneur. The guilt. The excitement. The turmoil of choice and priorities. The obstacles that we can turn into opportunities.

Like millions of moms in the U.S., I left a career in “Corporate America” to find balance as a mom. Six years ago, I had a six month old, a 2 1/2 year old and a fledgling boutique marketing firm in Miami with large-scale clients including the country’s largest college and one of the world’s largest wine festivals.

Unfortunately, balance was the last thing I was getting for many years. You see, so many women have begun and continue to begin businesses (we are now opening businesses at twice the rate of men) but have trouble knowing our value, negotiating, and scaling our businesses – myself included.

I struggled with guilt, self-doubt, and fear. Eventually, I learned my lessons and continued to grow the company. Last summer, though, I made the very bold decision to restructure my business. I made my employees contractors who would work virtually, hired a few other contractors, closed my office, and kept only my large-scale clients.

Because I had another idea; a growing passion.

The reason I restructured my business was simple, but it felt profound. I realized that many mom entrepreneurs were experiencing the same things as I was. The guilt; the day-to-day struggles, and most frequently, the chase toward that elusive ideal of “balance.”

And having made the bold decision to drastically change my business, I was ready to move on to my next journey - so I launched my second company, Luly B, Inc. where I empower mom entrepreneurs to have it all!

And I’m so glad I made that decision.

Finally, I feel like I am beginning to have some sanity in my life. You see, rather than getting stuck on the word "balance" and trying to be it all, I focused on what made ME happy so I could have it all – in marriage, with my children, and in business.

We need to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and just focus on being happy. We are going to have to make tough decisions, compromises, and prioritize constantly. But at the end of the day, it's all worth it. Being an entrepreneur in our country is an amazing opportunity and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. So screw the balance! Balance is BS. It’s about being genuine, bold, and centered.

It’s about what makes YOU happy.

Click here to see my infographic 

The boss sets the tone, right?

Last night, I was at the law firm of Foley & Lardner chatting with some of the lawyers when the conversation turned to a discussion of paternity leave. I was told that one of the high ranking partners at the firm recently had taken three months paid paternity leave to bond with his newborn, his third child.

I learned that some firm members thought it was ridiculous. Others saw it as a signal that work life issues are important to him and felt like he set a great example for his team. 

Now, let's look at it from another perspective. Let's say you have a boss who has kids that are now adults and the guy doesn't really like to spend time with his wife so he spends a lot of time at the office. His eternal presence in he office most likely is going to pressure others to follow suit. Are people going to scramble to work for this guy?

The point I'm trying to make is that in almost every workplace, your direct boss is key to your work life balance. Your boss and his or her actions and attitude on balance can affect your happiness -- for better or worse.

While I was at  Foley & Lardner last night, I had the pleasure of moderating a panel discussion on work life topics. There were so many interesting points made including the one above.

Leadership Coach Margarita Plasencia also brought up an interesting point. She believes there are times in your life when you don't care about work life balance, stages in life when you're in the flow at work and you want to be there 24/7. She thinks that's okay.

I'm not sure I agree with her. I think that working 24/7 leads to burnout and it makes those people working for you and with you feel like it's expected of them.

Readers, what are your thoughts on this...do you think a boss who is personally focused on work 24/7 can still create a work environment that encourages his staff to have fulfilling outside lives? Would you reconsider taking a job if you found out your future boss had a lousy personal life?

You need an accountability partner -- especially on Blue Monday

 

                                             

 

Today is Blue Monday. The third Monday of the new year. The day of the year the day of the year on which most of us feel at our lowest ebb.

Right about now, you might realize that achieving your goals for 2013 on our own is hard work.

But what you may not have realized is that there is somebody in your network who can help.

You need an  "accountability buddy" an old, yet tried-and-true tip for sticking to your resolutions.

I have chosen mine and it’s working out well.

For 2013, I resolved to exercise more often. My sister and I have been meeting up twice a week at an evening fitness class. Usually we will call each other or text and check in and make sure the other hasn’t come up with some excuse for weaseling out of going to class. Being accountable to someone for sticking to my resolution has made it much more doable. I haven’t missed a class yet.

You want better work life balance in 2013? You want to make time for exercise, a hobby or your family? Find an accountability partner is someone who prods you into action, will be honest with you and keep you on the right track.

If you want to get out of the office earlier in 2013, who do you know who is good with hard boundaries? What can you learn from the way they organize their day and can you ask them to hold you accountable, to check in with you on their way out so you can walk out together?  

In her new Encore Career Handbook, Marci Alboher shares the story of Cathy Abbott, a senior executive at an energy trying to figure out what she wanted to do after she retired. Cathy found a friend in her same situation who became her accountability buddy. They would meet regularly for drinks or dinner and end every get together with a statement of what they would do before their next meeting to explore what they could do next in the next stage of their lives.  Cathy eventually got a Master’s in Divinity and is now a minister. She says the regular check-ins were crucial to choosing a path.

My pal Michelle Villalobos, a motivational speaker and consultant, wants to paint more in 2013. She has blocked out 3 hours twice a week. But she knows that’s going to be easy to blow off.  Michelle asked her boyfriend to be her accountability partner and hold her to the commitment. Her boyfriend even helped her turn the garage into an art studio. When she’s supposed to be in the studio, he checks with her to make sure she is there. “It takes practice making it a habit and it helps to have someone encouraging you. It’s important who you choose because if you start resisting, you need someone who will stay on top of you and make sure you don’t give up.”

I was talking to Michelle about it and she’s completely comfortable with her boyfriend being her accountability partner to ensure she makes time for her hobby. But if her goal was to exercise more or lose weight, having him as her accountability partner might be stressful: “I might start wondering why he’s pushing me lose weight, and asking myself, “Does he think I’m fat?” It can create all kinds of insecurities.”

My point is, choose your accountability partner carefully based on your goal.

Kevin Daum, an author and columnist for Inc.com says he and a close entrepreneur friend, take an annual four day retreat to determine their futures and hold each other accountable. Kevin gives this checklist for finding an accountability partner:

• *He or she cannot have a personal stake in your day-to-day life (No employees, creditors, etc.)
• *He or she should be someone who is highly motivated to achieve his/her own goals, keeps
•  commitments and stick to the process of holding someone else accountable.
• *He or she should be someone who does not take shortcuts.
• *He or she should be someone who knows you well enough to understand you and know your patterns.
• *He or she should be someone who is not afraid of hurting your feelings when you need a push.
• *He or she should be someone who is easy to reach.
• *He or she must be someone you like and trust.

 

Some people call their accountability partner their best business asset and claim they make greater progress toward goals without getting stuck in ruts and keep from getting out of balance. Others say having an accountability partner just became annoying.

Have you ever tried an accountability coach? If so, what have you found to be the pros and cons?

 

Encourage more women on boards on 12-12-12

If we want products and services that reflect how we think and what we need, women should be concerned with companies that exclude us from their corporate boards. 

But this week, on 12/12/12 at 12 p.m. all of us can make a difference. Across the country, 2020 Women on Boards is hosting luncheons to rally support for their efforts to get more women on boards by 2020. In Florida, Women Executive Leadership is hosting the lunch event. Romaine Seguin, President of UPS Americas will speak about her experience as a Director and why it is so important for women to have representation in America's boardrooms.

I will be at the WEL event in Miami moderating the discussion and taking questions and suggestions from the audience for how to move the needle to see more women in leadership.

Lunch events will be going on in 27 cities and women and men have signed up to be part of this pretty cool event.  Sign up to be a part of the 12-12-12 event in your city.

Today, ION issued its 2012 Report on women's progress on corporate boards. The report, Follow the Leaders: It can Happen Here profiles 11 corporations that have experienced financial success and made boardroom gender diversity a high-priority business initiative.  Tomorrow, Catalyst issues its report: the Catalyst 2012 Census of Fortune 500: No Change for Women in Top Leadership seven years and counting. 

Both reports show a lack of progress in moving the women into top leadership along with suggestions for change. Fortunately, we're seeing some attention on this very important issue!

 

 

Why aren't women lawyers reaching the top of their firms in pay and respect?

Years ago, the American Bar Association saw cause for concern. There were lots of female lawyers but much fewer female partners. So they set up a commission to look into why.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to talk to Patricia Gillette, a member of the ABA Commission on Women in the Profession. I was prompted into a discussion with her by a gender discrimination lawsuit filed yesterday in federal court in New York against Miami's Greenberg Traurig, one of the 250 largest law firms in the country.

The lawsuit made various bold claims against Greenberg.

Former shareholder Francine Friedman Griesing alleges that Greenberg pays women less, promotes them at lower rates than men and virtually freezes them out from high-level managerial positions. She says women at the firm are denied their fair share of origination credit and internal referrals. Griesing also says although she was a partner, the firm's three tiered equity structure classified her into the lowest level, while less qualified men were put in the higher, more lucrative levels. She is seeking to represent a class of current and former women shareholders at the firm. 

 

Her claims of gender bias were concerns I've heard before, raised by women at various large law firms including Greenberg Traurig.

So I asked Patricia her thoughts on whether women are making real progress advancing at the country's law firms and whether pervasive gender inequity remains a problem. Patricia mentioned that the current ABA President Laurel Bellows initiated a gender equity task force this year to address bias against and equal pay for women in law.

Patricia said in recent years, the tiered partnership -- equity and non equity -- has been problem for women lawyers. It has been a way for large law firms to claim they have women partners but hide the fact that they are not promoting women into equity positions where they truly share in the profits and management decisions.

In October, the National Association of Women Lawyers came out with an revealing report:

• It found that law firm structure has important effects on women's career paths and that they have a greater chance of becoming equity partner in one-tiered firms. Meanwhile, women are increasing clustered in positions with little opportunity for advancement in law firm leadership.

 

• It also found women's compensation lags men's at all levels with the greatest discrepancy at the equity partner level, where women typically earn only 89% of what men make. The gap between the median compensation of male and female equity partners cannot be explained by differences in billable hours, total hours, or books of business.

 

Gillette says the ABA gender equity task force wants firms to rethink way they consider compensation, making it less subjective. A goal is to create a model law firm compensation policy to ensure women are paid equally to men.

“This has been sacred ground and firms don’t want anyone messing with compensation, but closed systems like Greenberg lead to mischief. We think putting transparency into compensation systems is imperative going forward,” she said.

Don't expect firms to readily buy in.

At Greenberg, all compensation decisions are made by CEO Richard Rosenbaum, with input from other shareholders.

Greenberg's Hilarie Bass said the firm’s compensation system has always been based on meritocracy that has nothing to do with gender. “We’re compensated based on value to clients and quality of our legal work. We prefer a closed system because it enables a more collegial atmosphere to exist.” Bass also said every year the the number of women who are big originators of new business increases as does the number of women who receive top compensation.

Still, with a closed system, it's difficult for women at the firm to confirm that to be true.

Gillette said this lawsuit may help Greenberg and other firms realize they need to work harder on getting more women into positions of leadership. While she acknowledges that there are some women lawyers who don't want to reach the top tier at their firms, she says many do. “We’ve been talking and begging firms to look at these issues for so long,” Gillette said. “I’m sorry it takes a lawsuit for firms to think about this but lawsuits are the only thing lawyers understand." 

Do you believe gender discrimination is present at big law firms? How much of pay inequity and lack of advancement is from women pulling back, seeking better work life balance, and how much of it is the way law firms are managed and structured?

 

How to brand yourself as a remarkable employee

At some point or another, we all need a career boost. Whether you’re going into the dreaded performance review or need to find a new job, expanding and grooming your professional brand will always be a priority if you want to advance yourself.

But, how can you forgo the same tried solutions and become a remarkable employee? More importantly, how can you boost your career in the process, particularly in the eyes of a supervisor?

Today my guest blogger is Morgan Norman, CEO of WorkSimple, the social performance application that fundamentally changes the way employees and companies view performance and each other. You can connect with Mr. Norman and WorkSimple on Facebook and @getsimple on Twitter. As we close out the year, it may be the ideal time to put his tips to good use.

 

 
1. Set a focus: Believe it or not, your manager may not know what you do on an everyday basis.
In fact, they may assume that you’re working on a certain objective when it’s been passed on to someone else or no longer relevant. You typically have four to five focuses, depending on your role. Setting concrete focuses and then assigning goals under that focus can give your manager the feedback they need, while at the same time cluing them in on why you deserve the promotion, salary bonus, or job. Setting a focus also lets your manager know what your strengths are — which, again, they may not be aware of.

2. Go visual: We live in a visual world, so why shouldn’t your work portfolio follow suit? A great way to showcase your work is to have a visual storyboard that tells your personal WorkStory. Plus, you no longer need to be a designer to build a biography of your accomplishments. Many platforms out there make it easy to showcase your work in minutes, helping you manage your own work portfolio. Additionally, visual storyboards can help you be that remarkable employee. First, your manager can see exactly what you accomplished, what you’re working on, and how you got there. Next, a visual element is much easier to relay than words on paper. After all, if there are visual elements in your portfolio, it makes your work exciting, which puts you on a higher plateau than your competition.

3. Tailor your content: When you’re in a room with a manager, do you think they want to hear about the work you did last year or the work you did last week? Probably the latter. By tailoring your content to what matters now or in the recent past, you give your manager insight on your current achievements and objectives. Think about setting a few focuses (as I stated above), and tailoring your content towards it. That way, your manager can see what you’re working on in real-time.

4. Share your accomplishments: Take control of your career by transforming
how you share work and capture your accomplishments. For example, you can create a work portfolio that allows your best work to shine. Further, you can also highlight your top five accomplishments and relay to your manager why hitting these goals made an impact on your company. When it comes down to it, you can’t transform team or company culture without sharing; it takes action. So take it.

5. Get feedback: Endorsements and recommendations of others can have a huge impact in your career. By getting that little check mark, your great work can shine across the organization. Anything from a LinkedIn recommendation to written praise by coworkers, managers, or partners can be that little push you need to be remarkable in the eyes of your supervisor.

What are some approaches you have used to position yourself as a remarkable employee?

 

What career advice would you give your kid?

Recently, at Media Day, a young Asian enterntainment reporter told high school students how disappointed her parents were in her career choice. She said they wanted her to be an engineer or scientist, a path more Asians take. She explained that her parents finally came around when they saw that she actually got a job in her field, and they realized she was happy.

Her story got me thinking....It's so hard to advise our kids on career paths today because industries are changing so rapidly. I am in the thick of guiding my daughter on what colleges she should apply to and how her career choice plays into that decision. It led to today's Miami Herald column.

 

 

Work/Life Balancing Act

Dear daughter, let me give you some career advice ...

By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN     

Preparing for the New Economy requires a focus on developing skill sets rather than navigating rigid career paths.

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John Swartz is regional director of career services at Everest College.

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By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

balancegal@gmail.com

            My daughter, a high school junior, wants to be a teacher. That doesn’t sit well with my husband, who worries about the state of education and the job outlook. He and I regularly debate whether we should encourage her to pursue this interest, or strongly steer her in another direction.

Today, coaching our kids about career paths is complicated. Many of my reporter and editor friends who witnessed an overhaul of the media world are highly opposed to their kids becoming journalists. Where parents of the past pushed their kids to follow in their footsteps, we want the generation of college-bound kids we raise to go where the jobs will be.

American workers’ experiences during the recession and the uncertainty of the global economy have made many of us more opinionated about what careers our kids pursue. We have witnessed job loss and burnout. We have seen highly educated professionals such as lawyers and bankers lose their jobs. And worse, we have seen college graduating classes face an overwhelmingly tough employment arena. While it’s true that a college degree usually guarantees better wages, the mantra of parents clearly has become: Can you land a decent-paying job with that degree?      

      As parents, we’re just beginning to understand that the next generation will have to navigate the workplace differently. Experts forecast that workers starting out now will switch careers — that’s careers, not jobs — an average of more than three times during their lives. Should parents, then, worry less about guiding our kids into careers and focus more on helping our kids identify skills to succeed in the new economy?

Whether my daughter becomes a teacher or an engineer, her success likely will come from a mastery of technology, languages and communications skills. Most importantly, she will need the mindset to be a problem solver, innovator, risk taker and self marketer. She will need to be prepared to continuously acquire new skills, a lesson my generation has learned the hard way.

“We are fooling ourselves to think young people will get a degree and spend the next 20 years at a single company or in a single industry,” says John Swartz, regional director of career services at Everest College, which has campuses in 30 cities including Miami. “They will have to be more focused on dealing with change. In this new world order, they have to follow the jobs in demand, acquire the right skills or at least transferable skills, and know that the skill set needed might change.”

Read more...

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/11/20/3106772/dear-daughter-let-me-give-

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Guess what American workers and bosses fear most this Halloween?

As we head into the final quarter of 2012, I'm sensing a lot of angst. People are fearful about the economy and they're uncertain about whether things are getting better. I asked American workers, small business owners and top execs about their biggest concerns and shared them with readers in my column today.....

 

I'd love to hear what concerns are on your mind!

 

Workplace fright grips South Florida workers

By Cindy Krischer Goodman     

We asked South Floridians what scares them the most about the workplace and we asked experts how to manage those fears.

 Rosie DeRosa and Alice Roque, owners of myCottera.com

Attorney Detra P. Shaw-Wilder

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By Cindy Krischer Goodman

balancegal@gmail.com

            Behind the masks and scary costumes this Halloween are American workers with real fear about what the last few months of the year will bring.

Workplace fright has gripped everyone from top executives to desk clerks. It ranges from fear of being fired to concerns about hitting performance goals or losing business to a competitor.

“There’s a lot of uncertainty out there in this business climate and that has created a lot of fear,” says Ryan Skubis, Florida district director for staffing agency Robert Half International.     

      A new survey by Accountemps, a Robert Half company, shows it is not ghosts, goblins or even public speaking that scare workers most — it’s making a mistake on the job. This angst stems from scaled down workplaces where workers now do the job of two, three or four workers. “People are putting so much pressure on themselves,” Skubis says. “They have a lot on their plates and they don’t see a lot of hope for slowing down.”

An effective fear buster is open communication with a manager or client. Instead of hiding mistakes, a worker should feel it is okay to fess up, suggest ways to correct the situation or ask for guidance, he says. “Mistakes happen all the time. Even leaders make mistakes. It is how we go about fixing them that matters.”

At the top levels, executives say they fear falling short of year-end projections. In some businesses, profits in prior years came from cost-cutting. Now, with little left to cut, revenue increases depend on growth and in some cases, it’s not there. Alex Trujillo, a senior manager at a wireless company, says the year has been more volatile for sales than expected. Now, he’s worried people won’t spend in the traditionally stronger fourth quarter and shareholders will be disappointed. “It’s a realistic and widespread concern.”

Trujillo’s fear of disappointing numbers trickles down to managers at all levels in businesses, says Kathi Elster, a management consultant and executive coach. They are afraid of new management coming in and making changes. As companies try to rebound, some workers are concerned about a younger person with specific technological skills replacing them, Elster says.

Elster suggests managing this fear by staying ahead. “Get active in your industries, attend conferences find out what’s coming in your field and get trained in it.” You may have to spend your own time and money doing this, she says. “It’s your insurance policy. That’s the world we’re in today.”

 

Read more....

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/10/30/3074830/facing-workplace-fears.html#storylink=cpy

Why we're miserable at work. The reason might surprise you.

Lately, I'm starting to wonder about all the negativity I'm hearing about workplaces.

I've heard employees are whining, bosses are bullying  and workers are completely unengaged.

On top of that, employees are stealing each others lunches, sending curt emails, shooting down good ideas and sometimes even getting violent.  

What's going on? Are most people miserable at work?

Of course, not everyone is naturally cheerful. But what's making all of us so unhappy at the place where we spend a good chunk of our waking hours?

A new Study by TellYourBoss.com says our bosses are to blame. 

Bosses are leaving Americans feeling unappreciated, uninspired, lonely, and miserable, says the results of the study conducted by Michelle McQuaid, a consultant who offers positive psychology interventions in the workplace.

The study found that:

 •     Only 36% of Americans are happy at their job and 65% say a better boss would make them happier.

•     31% of employees polled feel uninspired and unappreciated by their boss, and close to 15% feel downright miserable, bored and lonely.

•     Only 38% of those polled describe their boss as “great,” with 42% saying their bosses don’t work very hard and close to 20% saying their boss has little or no integrity.

•     Close to 60% of Americans say they would do a better job if they got along better with their boss.

•     Close to 70% of those polled said they would be happier at work if they got along better with their boss, with the breakdown equal amongst men and women, but younger workers in their 20s and 30s skewed even higher (80%).

•     Over half  (55%) of those polled, think they would be more successful in their career if they got along better with their boss.

•     When stress levels rise at work, a disturbing 47% say their boss does not stay calm and in control. Although 70% of boomers polled say their boss doesn’t lose his/her cool in times of stress.

Most bosses are never offered training for skills required to succeed in their job...something to think about today, which has been declared National Bosses Day.

If you're not too fond of your boss, it might seem repulsive to kiss up. But you might want to consider doing something to improve your relationship with your boss because it most likely will help you better manage your stress. It may as simple as saying thank you as a response instead of grumble or you may want to consider using one of these 5 tricks to beat a bad boss.

Michelle McQuaid at TellYourBoss.com suggests trying to improve your relationship by telling your boss what your strengths are – the things you like doing and are good at - and suggest new ways to use these in your job.

Readers, what action will you take today? McQuaid is encouraging us to share our National Bosses Day action on social media #tellyourboss. I'm planning to tweet my plans @balancegal!

 

 

When TV working moms quit their jobs are they bad role models?

Earlier this week, I tuned into one of my favorite TV shows, Parenthood, and watched one of my favorite working mothers, power lawyer Julia Braverman-Graham, lose her cool. Julia, mom to a biological daughter and a newly adopted grade-school-age son has been distracted at work in recent episodes. She's been trying to help her new son, Victor, get adjusted to being part of her family.

After screwing up at work, screwing up at home and suffering a panic attack, Julia has a work life balance meltdown. Then, she's called into the office on her day off. When her angry bosses doubt her commitment to the partner-track, Julia makes a huge move: She quits her job.

Slate.com says her circumstances are particular, but Julia's part of a larger trend: pop-culture moms who take their jobs and shove 'em when work starts to interfere with family life. It gives Sex & The City's Miranda and Ed's Nancy Burton as other examples of this trend.

I'm left to wonder, does TV fail to provide working mothers with role models who explore options other than quitting when the going gets tough?

Claire Huxtable of The Cosby Show made it look oh so easy to raise a house full of kids and work full time as a lawyer while her husband enjoyed his career as a doctor. Claire was frustrated at times, but she NEVER talked about quitting her job.

I like that Parenthood presented a real look at how job commitment can be questioned when a working mother seems distracted by what's going on at home. I think that's a realistic scenario and I'm sure other mom lawyers have had to face the same humiliating questioning of their commitment to their workplace that Julia endured.

While it makes for good TV to have Julia quit, I'm left to wonder, what's next for this family's breadwinner? Will she have the kind of discussion that real moms have with their spouses?  Will she and her hubby talk frankly about her options and how the family will get by financially without the kind of salary a lawyer on partner track brings home?

I would like to have seen Julia discuss her options with her firm's management before quitting. I'm not fond of the all or nothing approach to work life balance. I'm not saying that Julia is a bad role model because she quit, but I hope Parenthood paints the aftermath of this type of decision as stress-laden as it did the events leading up to it.

As  fan of the CBS show,  The Good Wife, I enjoy watching Alicia Florrick at work as a lawyer and at home as a mom. But after the first season, her mother-in-law no longer watches her kids while she's at the office. We viewers have no idea how she pulls of her work life balancing act or whether it's the least bit difficult for her.

Readers, can you think of working mother role models on TV who you feel portray an accurate look at the work life balance challenges that women face? Do you find it a disappointment when a TV working mother quits her job?