The Work/Life Balancing Act

Using Linked In right can help your work life balance and get you new business?

Many of us made New Year's resolutions to network more. So, as we close in on March, how's that going for you?

If you can't seem to fit more networking into your work life balance, consider Linked In as an option. If you use it correctly, you can build relationships while at the office. I asked a few Linked In experts for their advice on how to use Linked In most efficiently and avoid the big etiquette mistakes. I wrote abut it in the Miami Herald today. In response to my article, reader Frank Taylor shared this link with some great tips. 

 

Here's my column today in the Miami Herald:

 

Don’t get too personal on LinkedIn

By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

balancegal@gmail.com

Have you ever received a request to connect on LinkedIn from someone you didn’t know or couldn’t remember?

A few weeks ago, Josh Turner encountered this situation. The online request to connect came from a businessman on the opposite coast of the United States. It came with a short introduction that ended with “Let’s go Blues!” a reference to Turner’s favorite hockey team in St. Louis that he had mentioned in his profile. “It was a personal connection … that’s building rapport.”

LinkedIn is known for being the professional social network where members expect you to keep buttoned-down behavior and network online like you would at a business event. With more than 200 million registered users, the site facilitates interaction as a way to boost your stature, gain a potential customer or rub elbows with a future boss.

But unlike most other social networking sites, LinkedIn is all about business — and you need to take special care that you act accordingly. As in any workplace, the right amount of personal information sharing could be the foot in the door, say experts. The wrong amount could slam it closed.

“Anyone in business needs a professional online presence,’’ says Vanessa McGovern, the VP of Business Development for the Global Institute for Travel Entrepreneurs and a consultant to business owners on how to use LinkedIn. But they should also heed LinkedIn etiquette or risk sending the wrong messages.

One of the biggest mistakes, McGovern says is getting too personal — or not personal enough.

Sending a request to connect blindly equates to cold calling and likely will lead nowhere. Instead, it should come with a personal note, an explanation of who you are, where you met, or how the connection can benefit both parties, McGovern explains.

Your profile should get a little personal, too, she says. “Talk about yourself in the first person and add a personal flair — your goals, your passion … make yourself seem human.”

Beyond that, keep your LinkedIn posts, invitations, comments and photos professional, McGovern says.

If you had a hard day at the office or your child just won an award, you may want to share it with your personal network elsewhere — but not on LinkedIn.

“This is not Facebook. Only share what you would share at a professional networking event,” she says.

Another etiquette pitfall on LinkedIn is the hit and run — making a connection and not following up.

At least once a week, Ari Rollnick, a principal in kabookaboo, an integrated marketing agency in Coral Gables, gets a request to connect with someone on LinkedIn that he has never met or heard of before. The person will have no connections in common and share no information about why they want to build a rapport.

“I won’t accept. That’s a lost opportunity for them,” Rollnick says.

He approaches it differently. When Rollnick graduated from Emory with an MBA in 2001, he had a good idea that his classmates would excel in the business world. Now, Rollnick wanted to find out just where they went and reestablish a connection.

With a few clicks, he tracked down dozens of them on LinkedIn, requested a connection, and was back on their radar. Then came the follow-up — letting them know through emails, phone calls and posts that he was creating a two-way street for business exchange. “Rather than make that connection and disappearing , I let them know I wanted to open the door to conversation.”

McGovern suggests following up all new connections with a thank-you note and an expressed interest in getting to know that person. “Striking up a conversation should be easier because you can go to their profile and find a common dominator.”

Turner, the Blues hockey fan, calls himself a B2B marketing expert specializing in LinkedIn. He operates LinkedSelling.com and says there are a handful of ways to use the professional social network to turn yourself into a valuable top-of-mind contact rather than the guy at a networking event with crumbs on his face.

“It’s about follow-up. You should be posting status updates, bits of information about projects you are working on, [that can create] ways for your contacts to see your name and content on regular basis,” Turner says.

Of course, staying on the radar differs from getting in someone’s face with a sales pitch — another LinkedIn no-no. You don’t want to be that person shoving a business card at someone without saying hello.

“Use LinkedIn to build rapport. Build a relationship and then move that towards business,” Turner says. “On LinkedIn, too many [contacts] go straight for jugular.”

Nicole Williams, a career expert with LinkedIn, agrees. She recommends at least one online conversation before asking for anything and when doing so, positioning it as a win-win.

Allyson Lipnack of Creative Business Promotions of South Florida says she made the potentially offensive mistake of putting out a sales pitch for her promotional products. Realizing the mistake, she began posting examples of trendy promotional products she had supplied to targeted individuals who might be planning similar events. “I’m appearing as more of a consultant to help them with their needs.”

Endorsements have become an easy way to contribute to your LinkedIn contacts, but you need to heed etiquette around this as well. Go to someone’s profile, click a few boxes, maybe click a few plus signs — done. You not only give them a virtual pat on the back, you may also help them show up in search results.

Of course, it may lead to some awkwardness. “If someone chooses to endorse you, there’s no pressure to reciprocate,” Williams says. “People shouldn’t endorse someone they haven’t worked with.’’

After all, it’s not just their reputation, it’s yours that can be affected. Says Williams, “you are going to be brushed with the same feather so be careful with whom you are associated.”

Men are from Mars, Women from Venus: How does this affect us at work?

Last week, I had the pleasure of speaking with John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. 

His new book is called WORK WITH ME:  The Blind Spots between Men and Women in Business, and it applies his expertise to male/female relationships and interactions in the workplace.  His co-author is Barbara Annis, Chair of the Women’s Leadership Board at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, and a world-renowned expert on workplace gender issues.  So as you can see, they’re the perfect pair to take on this topic!

I was excited to talk to John about his new book that will be released in May. 

John and Barbara have been studying the way men and women behave in the workplace and they discovered that there are big differences that cause us to miscommunicate and send the wrong signals to each other.  A little gender intelligence can help you in your career.

One thing they discuss in particular is how men and women deal with workplace stress differently.  And of course, how this bleeds over in to our personal lives.  John explained to me there are biological reasons why women respond to stress by releasing their feelings and bonding with loved ones, while men either have tunnel vision until they solve their problem, or just ignore it if it’s beyond their control.

Here are a few findings in his book that John shared with me: 

* Solving problems and achieving goals in the workplace takes a greater toll on women. Women lack testerone that naturally lowers cortisol levels. When women are stressed, they tend to take on more responsiblities. What they need to do instead, is find ways to de-stress. John suggests women up their romance quotient by planning an evening out. If they don’t’ have partner, he recommends creating an opportunity to feel they are being treated in special way, such as getting a massage.

John explained to me that gender blind spots are ways of unknowingly putting off the opposite sex in the workplace. Here is how to be more attuned to them: 

* Questions. Men think women ask too many questions. Men are annoyed by this. Women don't realize men think this way. Sometimes a woman may be making a point with her questions and have no idea she is agitated a male co-worker.

* Appreciation. Women don't feel appreciated in the workplace. Men think they are making a woman feel appreciated, but the women doesn't feel that way. Men need to more effectively communicate a female worker is valued and appreciated. Men need to understand little gestures of consideration make a huge difference to women.

* Exclusion. Women often feel excluded in the workplace when they aren't invited to attend a lunch or join in a conversation. Men don't feel excluded. They don't need an invitation. The concept of being left out does not exist from a man’s perspective. In a conversation, instead of a woman asking, "Can I say something?" just join in.

* Attention. If a man is focused on a computer screen or a project and can't shift attention, women feel offended if he ignores them. Don't. Men don't. Just ask again. A woman might even ask, "Can I have one minute of your time?" Any man will give one minute. . 

* Emotion. John and Barbara asked men whether women are too emotional in the workplace. About 90 percent said yes. They asked women if they thought women were too emotional and 80 percent said no. They found when they pointed this difference out, people said it made sense but there are lots of people in academia trying to disprove the obvious truth. Men try to avoid an emotional response but must realize that validating a woman’s perspective is more important than simply agreeing with her or avoiding her

* Internalizing. Many times men will say something and women take it personally. They may feel a man is picking on them. Men don't take anything personally. For example, 80 percent of the people who go online for porn are men. Men are turned on by the impersonal. Women want personal. A man's fear of offending female colleagues can jeopardize fruitful working relationships.

John is convinced that with a little gender insight, men and women can find ways to get what they need from each other in the workplace. 

John's website is Marsvenus.com. He says he is available online on weekday mornings from 9 to 10:30 a.m. to answer questions on gender differences. Visit the community board on his website to submit questions. 

 

 

Do successful businesswomen struggle with romance?

Is it more difficult for high achieving women to find success in love? I set out to find that out.

In a conversation with Osmara Vindel, a Miami business professional, she told me that she is divorced and has been dating for three years. She says she came to discover her struggles in relationships were about her, not he men in ther life. She says marriage and her dating life were challenging until she led her guard down, made romance a priority, and allowed herself to get out of business mode and feel comfortable with a man. Now, one month into a new relationship, she says all is going well. With Valentine's Day approaching, maybe its time for all of us to think about our work life balance and whether we give romance the priority it deserves.

Here's my column from today's Miami Herald. I'd love to hear your thoughts....

Whether they’re dating or married, high-earning women need to leave work mode at the office.

Maya Ezratti, left, is a relationship coach and is coaching Suzette Diaz, right, a client.

MARICE COHN BAND / MIAMI HERALD STAFF

By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

While on a blind date, Alexandra Arguelles found herself behaving as if she were interviewing a candidate for a job.

“I caught myself asking him question after question and trying to control everything.” Afterward, she says she felt as if she had been at a business dinner.

“It’s not easy for me to be laid back,” says Arguelles, a 42-year-old sales executive at a travel IT company in Miami. “But on my next date, I’m going to try.”

Women have made huge strides in business. We have climbed to the top of companies, built million-dollar businesses and forged into traditional male professions. We’ve positioned ourselves as some of the most powerful voices in politics and on the Internet. Yet, when it comes to romantic relationships, we still struggle to make it happen in love.

IT’S US

Ask the growing army of high-earning women and they will say men are intimidated by their professional and financial success, making it difficult to date and marry. But relationship experts say we have it wrong. It’s not them; it’s us.

“Today’s women just don’t seem to understand you have to leave the office at the office,” says Maya Ezratti, a relationship coach and owner of Rewarding Relationships. “You can’t treat your husband, boyfriend or date like an employee.”

Fewer Americans are married today than at any point in at last 50 years, according to a 2011 Pew Research study. The causes and consequences are the subject of much debate. But what is clear is that as more women have gained economic control over their lives, they need to switch modes when it comes to relationship dynamics.

John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, says keeping romance alive in the age of female empowerment takes getting in touch with your feminine attributes: “In the workplace, to be successful, women have to be independent, self reliant, focused on solving problems and managing people. Outside the office, those attributes are romance killers.”

In dating, Gray says a woman comes across as more attractive when she puts out a vibe she is happy and that a man can make her even happier. “Men want a job. They need to be needed,” he says. But a successful women’s natural instinct may be that she can do it all herself. “Be in touch with the part of yourself that is looking to have someone in your life that would lighten your load, and be open to receiving what he has to offer.”

In Miami, Ezratti coaches businesswomen to change their approach: “A lot of women are pursing romance like business.”

First, she advises they lose their pant suit and show up in more trendy, flirty attire. Next, she suggests they let go of being competitive. “Some women have no problem ripping men to shreds to prove their intelligence. No guy wants to go out on a date and feel like a schmuck. You don’t’ have to prove anything; the quiet one wins.”

David Berry, a 28-year-old Miami writer and author of a dating blog, affirms that most of his single male friends are scared to approach women who are rich, successful, brilliant and beautiful. They assume the women won’t be interested. “We have fears approaching women anyway. Now add in that they out earn us or drive a nicer car, and we start to doubt our ability to impress them.”

Berry says a few gestures by women can make a world of difference: Smile. Show passion for what you do. Indicate a willingness to break off chunks of time for a man. Most important, he says, men want a woman to show her soft side. “I think a lot of women fight for equality in their professional lives and assume that it’s a negative to allow yourself to be vulnerable when it comes to an emotional relationship. It’s not.”

Successful women say the challenge comes in finding a man they consider a truly equal partner, someone who contributes financially and emotionally. “In this recession, I’ve seen many men who see me just as a meal ticket,” a female senior level executive explains. “I hide my career and income from men on my dating profiles. It just makes me a target.”

Arguelles, the IT sales executive, admits she feels the same way and has become pickier. “I need someone on equal footing, someone with a steady income who is ambitious and strives for goals. Because I’m self sufficient, I don’t feel the need to settle.” This could be an increasing challenge because men disproportionately have suffered an income drop during the recession.

But it is not just dating that represents a challenge for high-achieving women. Married women say they struggle with romance too.

“I have clients who are powerful and successful women. Everything they touch turns to gold except their relationship,” says Gladys Diaz, owner of Heart’s Desire International. “Their businesses are booming and their marriages are falling apart.”

Read more..

Relationship coach Gladys Diaz providing tips to business women!

On the 20th Anniversary FMLA push forward on unfinished business

Can you imagine having a baby, wanting a few weeks off and losing your job if you take them?

Until 20 years ago, women had no right to maternity leave. Men had no right to medical leave.

Thanks to women like Ellen Bravo of Family Values @ Work and Judith Lichtman and Debra Ness of The National Partnership for Women & Families, women and men at big employers don't have to worry their jobs will be gone if they need time off for these type of family needs. Yes, I'm aware that over the two decades, some workers have abused FMLA. But when I look at all the people who have used FMLA to be better family members and better employees, I consider it beneficial to all and a critical component of work life balance.

Happy Anniversary to FMLA and may efforts succeed to expand the federal law to be even more inclusive!

(Photo below: Ellen Bravo joins in Milwaukee's Labor Day March) 

Twenty years after the Family Medical Leave Act became law, advocates say its time for expansion.

Wednesday, 02.06.13

By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

balancegal@gmail.com

When I gave birth to my daughter, I returned home with a squirmy little bundle and immediately felt overwhelmed. Though I was exhausted from changing diapers and waking for feedings, I was thankful that my job was secure.

In our struggle to balance our family lives and our work lives, one law has made a giant difference for me and 35 million other American workers — the Family Medical Leave Act.

This week, the FMLA celebrates its 20th year in existence. It’s been a godsend for those of us who want time to bond with our newborn, care for an aging parent or deal with a health emergency without the fear of losing our jobs.

But two decades after President Bill Clinton signed the FMLA into law, advocates say they still have unfinished business.

“It was meant to be a first step toward a family-friendly American workplace. But it is 20 years and we haven’t gotten to the second step,” says Judith Lichtman, senior advisor to the National Partnership for Women & Families and an original advocate for passage of FMLA.

In many ways, the FMLA has been even more helpful to working families than expected. The law initially was conceived to allow working mothers like me to take time off for childbirth and post-maternity.

But over 20 years, it has been used 100 million times by all types of workers — about 40 percent of them men.

The FMLA has provided time off for women who needed medical care during difficult pregnancies, fathers who took time to care for children fighting cancer, adult sons and daughters caring for frail parents and workers taking time to recover from their own serious illnesses.

The federal law says we can take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave if we work at a company with more than 50 employees, with a caveat that we must be employed there for a year. The big benefit is that our jobs are protected during that leave.

During the recession, the job security and the continuation of health insurance that FMLA guarantees proved particularly important.

Debbie Winkles, senior VP/director of human resources at Great Florida Bank in Miami Lakes, (pictured to the left) used FMLA three years ago when she needed to care for her husband who was battling cancer. Today, Winkles has male and female bank employees who are using FMLA to care for their newborns or to cope with illness.

Her company has created an easy spreadsheet system to track its employees’ FMLA leave. “With today’s health issues, so many people diagnosed with cancer are having chemotherapy, and employees need medical leave for themselves or a family member.”

 

In Wisconsin, Jill Delie is using FMLA to manage a chronic disease by taking a few days off each month for doctors appointments. In Maine, Vivian Mikhail used FMLA to care for her daughter, Nadia, when the little girl was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition that left her completely deaf. (photo below)

Just this week, a longtime friend of mine told me how fortunate she feels to be able to take FMLA to spend time with her mother who has incurable lung cancer. “I don’t want to lose my job, but I can’t imagine not being there for her when she needs me,” my friend sighed.

Yet for all the benefit, FMLA doesn’t guarantee wages while workers are on leave, a component advocates had planned as a second step. According to a Department of Labor study, 78 percent of workers who needed FMLA leave did not use it because they could not afford to take unpaid leave. Proposed federal legislation would expand eligibility and introduce a paid sick leave or a family-leave insurance program.

Read more....

 

A lesson from the Shark Tank: How to ask for what you want

Photo by Carl Juste/Miami Herald

 

Last Friday night, I had my whole family glued to the TV. We watched Miami mom entrepreneur Susie Taylor make her debut on ABC's Shark Tank. The night didn't exactly go as expected.....

I have seen Susie, CEO of Bibbitec, pitch her fast-drying bibs at women's conferences in Miami and have been impressed. But watching Susie talk about business in front of the sharks, I saw her make a critical mistake.

It's a mistake I see repeated often and it's key in negotiating a business deal or an accommodation to improve your work life balance.

Susie asked the sharks, self made billionaires, to invest $40,000 for a 14 percent stake in the company. She became quite emotional when she explained to the sharks that she is a mom who considers her children a priority. She told them she has poured her life savings into this idea and needs their help to market the product on a grand scale because she doesn't have the time while balancing work and family. 

Her mistake: It's not about you. It's about them.

The sharks don't care about her work life dilemma. They care about themselves, what she can do for them and whether her product can make them money. They complained about the cost and sale price but I think Susie could have turned it around. She could have explained how being a mom keeps her connected to the consumer who would buy this product. She could have played up how being a mom helps her in her bib business and therefore will help them. 

One shark was particularly brutal. He said he liked the product but felt Susie was the wrong person to run her business and even suggested a college kid with internet marketing skills. 

Your boss is a shark, too. 

Whatever you ask for....flex time, reduced hours, the ability to work from home one day a week...your boss ONLY cares about how the arrangement you want will affect him or her. You want to ask for what you need in a way that they can understand what they have to gain by accommodating you or lose by not giving in to your request. 

Have you ever relied on someone in a business scenario and they rattle off all the personal reasons they haven't done what you need them to do? You might come off as if you care, but you don't. Your mind has shifted to how what they haven't done affects you. 

After her TV appearance, Susie has said she will pursue on with her company. It won't be easy and the balancing act will become increasingly difficult as she tries to market and distribute her bibs and give her kids top billing. But it can be done and I think Susie's experience holds a lesson that the rest of us can learn from -- the sharks are out there, make it about them...give them the bait they want to get them to bite. 

 

What do Dan Marino, Arnold Schwarzenegger and my son have in common?

Almost on a weekly basis, I talk about condoms with my son.

I tell him, "rain or shine, wear your raincoat." My son thinks my condom crusade is hilarious. He doesn't have girlfriend, he's only 15, and he says he hasn't had sex so he finds this obsession of mine to be "ridiculous."

I may be a crazy parent, but I feel my window of opportunity to make an impression on my son is now. Catching a your teen at the right time in the right mood to absorb your words of wisdom is a huge challenge. That's where work life balance comes in.

I am learning that it's not easy to balance time demands so that you can be physically and mentally there at that rare moment when your teen wants to talk or listen. But I try, and sometimes, I make my opportunities, I just "throw it out there" and hope for the best.

My recent obsession with "the condom talk" came about from the NBC show Parenthood. I love that show and one of the characters, Drew, reminds me a lot of my teenage son. A few episodes ago, Drew, who is still in high school, got his girlfriend pregnant. It was torturous to watch him visibly upset and waiting around while his girlfriend decided how she wanted to handle the situation.

It made me realize that should my son decide not to wear his raincoat one night, for whatever reason, he has absolutely no say in the life-altering decisions that follow. That comes with the territory of being male. 

Football great Dan Marino has learned this the hard way. So has Arnold Schwarzenegger. So has John Edwards. All are fathers to children they had while married to another woman. Whether they were intentionally trapped by these women who preyed on their wealth and stature, we will never know. What we do know is that their mistakes have become public and cost them dearly.

What does their situations say to our sons? What can we teach them from this? Everywhere you turn these days there is some high profile man being accused of lying or cheating in sports, in business or in life. When the news leaks, and they finally come clean, they apologize and say they made a big mistake. What I want my son to realize is this mistake resulted in a decision they had no control over.

When my kids are caught doing something wrong, they usually respond,“But everyone else was….” There is a reason generations of parents have dished out that famous line, “If all your friends were jumping off a bridge would you do it, too?”

But somewhere along the line of growing up, we mature and realize that “everyone is
doing it” is not a logical argument and that avoiding huge mistakes takes smart split-second decision making in the heat of the moment. That's not easy, especially for teens.

Like most parents, I have worried about a lot of things as my kids have grown up -- from their playground antics to their Facebook antics. Watching them step out into their own lives and make their own decisions and mistakes might be the hardest part.

When the news broke yesterday about Dan Marino's extramarital affair and his love child, I jumped on the chance to use Dan's story in my condom crusade, making it dinner table conversation. I've accepted that my son may think I'm crazy mom -- at least right now.  But if my voice can creep inside my son's head, and guide his thinking when the brain turns off and the hormones or alcohol kicks in, then all my efforts to balance my life and be present as a parent will have paid off.

Parents, how do you approach finding the right time and right method to drive a point home with your kids? What news events have you used as your teaching moments?

 

 

Dan Marino's Extramarital Affair: Is his Family Man Image Gone?

 

(Scott Halleran / Getty Images)

 

 

For many, many years, those of us in South Florida have idolized Dan Marino. With six kids, two of them adopted, he's not only a beloved retired Dolphins quarterback, he's the ultimate family man. He's usually photographed alongside his wife or family. His personal, family situation is part of his brand.

Today, we learn that Dan Marino fathered a child with a woman who was not his wife.

The New York Post reported that Marino, a current CBS football analyst, had an affair with former CBS Sports production assistant Donna Savattere, and the two had a daughter, Chloe, in June 2005. (She is now 7 years old.)

"This is a personal and private matter. I take full responsibility both personally and financially for my actions now as I did then," Marino said in a statement. "We mutually agreed to keep our arrangement private to protect all parties involved."

My wife and I have been married for almost 30 years and have six children together," Marino said. "And we continue to be a strong and loving family."

After the birth of Chloe, the Post reports Marino "agreed to pay millions" and Savattere moved from New York to Texas to keep their relationship and child a secret.

Obviously, Marino messed up in his personal life. But how does that affect his work life, his brand and his future? We have seen this before with other celebrities. Some bounce back. Others don't. I asked PR guru Maria Pierson for her thoughts. Maria is co-founder and CEO of Pierson Grant Public Relations in Fort Lauderdale and has more than 30 years of public relations experience.

Q. Have we always cared about the family life of celebrities?

A. I think we are in an era where family life becomes synonymous with the person. With 24/7 news coverage now we're more focused on watching things play out on TV. Look at people like Lance Armstrong and Manti Te'o. They chose a public televised way to come clean. We live in that culture now. That's what they think they should do. Years ago in PR, we would say you know you're in trouble if you see a 60 Minutes reporter at your door. Today, everything plays out on a computer screen or television. From Marino's perspective, I’m a little surprised it took this long for the news to come out.

Q. How do you think Marino managed to keep up his image as a family man for seven years while having a child with another woman?

A. Dan marino has such a high profile in South Florida so I think from that perspective had it happened in South Florida we would have known earlier. It happened in New York where he was spending every weekend during football season. I don't think people realized he was regularly away for the entire weekend during football season.

Q. Has this done permanent damage to his brand?

A. There is such equity in the Dan Marino brand. He's a hero on field. We he retired, he became known for his work with the Dan Marino Foundation. He and his wife single handedly brought the issue of autism to the forefront in South Florida. He had that going for him.

Q. So is that equity diminished?

A. What we tell our clients in these type of crisis issues is the truth will set you free. The sooner you tell truth and get ahead of the story, the news cycle will stop. If you don’t talk it becomes news worthy for a longer time and you’re open to rumors and stories. This issue with Dan Marino should end now that he's spoken out and was remorseful ,sincere and apologetic.

Q. Will the public accept his apology and move on?

A. It will only be back in the news if his wife decides to talk or divorce him or if the other woman sues. Right now, he's done everything he could do to put lid on it.

Q. Does this mess now become part of Marino's public image, much like Arnold Schwarzenegger and his child with the housekeeper?

A. The public has a short term memory. The best thing for Armstrong was Manti. The best thing for Manti was Dan. Dan is now in that list of people, which are men most of the time. When people think of Dan Marino, it does become part of the tag line and his brand takes a hit in short term.

Q. Did he get PR coaching?

A. That's a good question. Whether he did or didn't, he did a good job. The fact the he came out and came clean when the Post broke the story helped him. I felt like he handled it the best that could be expected in his situation.

 

 

 

Encore Careers: How to make a difference as you get older

The power of Twitter is amazing. A few years ago, Marci Alboher and I connected on Twitter and came to admire each other as journalists. At the time, Marci was freelancing for The New York Times. A few weeks ago, Marci reached out to me through Twitter and asked me to participate in her book tour. She had joined Encore.org was going to appear at Book & Books in Coral Gables to discuss her new book, The Encore Career Handbook: How to Make a Living in the Second Half of Life.

Of course, I jumped at the chance. I read Marci's book and it was packed with stories, resources and ideas for encore careers, also known as later in life jobs that have a social purpose. 

The turnout at the Books & Books event was huge. I interviewed Marci about the whole concept of encore careers in front of at least 50 people. The audience was engaged and asked great questions. Clearly, this is an important topic as boomers begin to figure out what's next for them.

Here's the story I wrote for the Miami Herald using the life stories of several people I met at the event as well as information from the discussion with Marci:

In later life, many Americans turn to ‘encore careers’

 By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN     

 

 

 
  

                           

   

         

             

                                   

                                                           
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By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

            Don Causey was beginning to plan his retirement, selling off his profitable sporting newsletters when his life took a horrific turn. While on a safari on a long anticipated trip to Africa, a tree tumbled onto him, breaking his back.  The process of getting a medical transport to take him from a remote village back to Miami proved arduous and costly.

Today Causey’s back is healed and at 70 he finds himself in a post retirement career — consulting for a company that sells travel memberships that include medical evacuation benefits. It’s a profitable part-time gig that Causey believes is an important service to travelers. Plus, he says, “It keeps my mind alive and keeps me connected with a community I care about, just in a different way.”

Like Causey, most Americans are crafting their own version of meaningful work in their later stages of life. It’s a direction that brings balance and an ability to be impactful in a whole new way.     

“More and more people — sometimes by necessity, sometimes by choice — are forgoing traditional retirement and investing a new state of life and work,” says Marci Alboher, with Encore.org and author of  The Encore Career Handbook.

Alboher is part of a movement that has named this later-in-life stage “encore careers,” paid or volunteer work that has a social impact. An encore career can last from a few years to 20 or more. While 9 million Baby Boomers already have entered their encore phase, another 31 million will soon make the leap in that direction, according to Encore.org, a nonprofit organization that promotes second acts for the greater good.

The concept of an encore career is being buoyed by a convergence of trends: financial realities, layoffs, long life spans and the desire for a more purposeful existence during the aging process. “It’s a way to leave a mark that makes things better for future generations,” explains Alboher. “But usually it’s not quick or easy. It’s a slow metamorphosis involving baby steps, detours, persistence, creativity and a do-it-yourself spirit.”

An encore career job might be a nurse or health aide. It could be a teacher, tutor or fundraiser, founder of a nonprofit, or even an entrepreneur that solves a social problem. For many, it has become the answer to “now what?” and “what will be my legacy?”

Knowing what’s ahead, some people plan their encore career for years, beginning as early as their 50s. They use travel time to build alliances or weekends to take a community college course.

Though he’s far from retirement age, my 50-year-old husband surely will need an encore career. Even now, he can’t sit still on days off from work, filling his days with house projects and coming up with new ones once the current list is exhausted. Yet he regularly talks about how he looks forward to retirement — a disaster-in-the-making for a man without a mission.

The reignite-rather-than-retire movement has been recent, but it may already have played a role in curbing the high rate of suicide for older males. David Cohen, author of  Out of the Blue, and a professor of psychology at University of Texas had previously discovered a high rate of suicide for males in the 65-to-74 year old age group, observing that this set was susceptible because of its preoccupation with lost status and higher risk of apathy and isolation. That high rate has lowered in recent years.

Read more...

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/01/29/3207445/many-turn-to-encore-careers.html

Top Workplace Trends in 2012 and What to Look for in 2013

This was a challenging year for both employers and workers as we tried to adjust to the new norm in business -- doing more with less. Now changes are afoot from how our offices look to who runs them and what equipment will be used.             

Here are the trends we saw in 2012 and what to expect in 2013:

• Employee engagement. There’s no polite way to say it — workers have had it. In 2012 we lost our happy-to-have a job mindset and now we want appreciation. For some of us it’s been a few years since we’ve had a raise or bonus. An October survey by by MSW Research and Dale Carnegie Training found only a mere 29 percent of employees are fully engaged. Experts say if our employers want us more engaged, they need to boost our confidence in senior management and look for ways to reward us. “Companies are going to have to decide, do we want to invest in our people again?” says John Hollon, vice president for editorial at TLNT.com, which follows workplace trends. “They will need to reconnect with workers in ways haven’t had to worry about for about 5 years now.”     

• Top performers are lifelong learners. It hasn’t been easy, but American workers finally realize we need to take control of our careers. Most companies cut way back on training and on education reimbursement at the same time we discovered a need to add to our skills toolbox. Being the top sales person, or even the best doctor now means we have to keep up with new technology, trends and approaches and we have to do it on our own time and our own dime.

• Social media at work is a complicated mix. Through social media, companies now have an amazing way to market their handbags or food delivery services. But this new outlet for driving sales is also driving management crazy. As American workers turned to Facebook and Twitter to rant about cheap bosses or snotty customers, we saw employees getting fired and employers getting sued. Meanwhile labor lawyers are busy drafting social media policies for companies trying to protect themselves by letting workers know what’s acceptable. The rise of social media in the workplace isn’t likely to slow and employers will have to prepare themselves for the benefits -- and the hazards.

• Flexibility is king. Sure we want to be paid well. But more importantly, we want to know that our employers “get it.” We want the day-to-day flexibility in how, when and where we work to better manage our lives. This year, we even saw reports that claim almost half of all workers would give up some of their salary to get more flexibility. We also saw smart employers of all sizes begin to position flexible work as part of their culture. Guillermo Rotman, president of Regus Americas, predicts more businesses will offer their employees flexible work options going forward, particularly as technology untethers us from our desks.

• We’ve got to get up. This was a breakthrough year in understanding how we work affects our health. Sitting at our desks, staring at a screen all day is making us fat and unhealthy. We saw a new pressure on employers to encourage workplace heath initiatives and pay more attention to physical activity at work. And we’ve realized we need to work differently, to get up and move around because mini-breaks, just one minute long throughout the day, can actually make a difference.

• Wellness programs are on the rise. Our employer really does care if we eat that doughnut or go for the apple. In fact, he cares so much, in many instances, he’s going to pay us to lose weight or participate in a wellness program. By now, employers realize that if we engage in healthy behavior, they benefit from lower healthcare costs.  Expect this trend to get even more attention because The Affordable Care Act will expand the ability of employers to reward workers who achieve health improvement goals.

• Overtime. Is stopping on the way in for doughnuts for coworkers considered on the clock time? It could be. Companies are running into trouble with workers who claim there’s a rampant disregard for overtime pay provisions. In 2012, employees filed more than 7,000 federal lawsuits commonly known as wage-and-hour cases against their employers or former employers, records show. Losing these cases proved costly for some employers, and lawyers say they see these types of lawsuits continuing in 2013 along with a new interest in management training on what counts as a violation.

•  Boomers retiring. We’ve been told it is coming, now it is happening. Experts say 2013 is the year that kicks off a wave of boomers retiring from careers they held for decades. “Some industries already are very focused on how to replace those exiting employees,” says Jennifer Schramm, manager of workplace trends and forecasting for the Society of Human Resource Management. Others will have to work hard and fast to develop the next generation of corporate leaders. At the same time, retirement creates a need for older workers to find ways to stay productive. Look for retirees to seek out opportunities to find work that helps them contribute to the greater good or causes they care about, says Marci Alboher, VP of Encore.org and author of  The Encore Career Handbook: How to Make a Living and a Difference in the Second Half of Life. “They will be looking for opportunities to do something impactful.”

•  Newly designed workplaces. Our workspaces are changing along with our work habits. As collaboration becomes more important, we are finding that workplaces that allow for sharing ideas are the new norm — open floor plans and collaborative work environments, standing work stations and dual monitors. We also see an increasing number of co-working or shared office space and virtual offices, preparing us to say goodbye to office cubicles of the past and look forward to opportunities for better networking. And while we’re at it, we will likely be bringing our own device with us to the office of the future. A Cisco study showed a staggering 95 percent of organizations permit employee-owned devices in the workplace. This includes laptops, tablets and smartphones.

Leading organizations recognize the challenges and opportunities that these trends bring. For most, the belt tightening is over and 2013 will be the year to refocus on top talent and move forward together.

 

 Wellness at Work (expect to see more of it!)

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/12/23/3151931_p2/the-top-workplace-trends-of-2012.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/12/23/3151931/the-top-workplace-trends-

of-2012.html#storylink=cpy

Work life balance in the wake of the Newtown shooting

For many of us, Friday was a life changing day. More than a dozen children went to elementary school that morning in Newtown and were dead before lunch. 

While the shooting happened, we sat at our desks, going about our work days and discovered once again that families lives can change horribly in just a few hours. For the last few days, I have thought about those mothers and fathers who had settled into their work routines on Friday, only to hear the news reports or receive a text and learn that their children were in harm's way. It makes me cringe.

Ask a  parent, his or her priorities and most will tell you their families take the top spot. But in the day to day grind of meeting work deadlines, pleasing the boss or responding to emails at all hours, it has become easy to stay a bit later at the office or ignore a child tugging on our sleeve for attention.

I'm reminded in the wake of Newtown that work life balance is about living without regret. Please notice I didn't say guilt.

Just last week, I felt so horrible, so guilty about missing my son's award ceremony at school because of a work conflict. As a working parent, it is impossible to avoid missing some event in your child's life and guilt becomes a way of life.

But as Newtown's grieving parents show us, it's the big picture that counts. 

We need to ask ourselves: Do you I make the most out of the time I spend with my siblings, parents, children, friends, spouse? Are there small changes that could improve the quality and quantity of that time? What would I regret if I didn't have tomorrow with my loved one?

CNN reports that on Friday, Diana Licata was supposed to go to the school later to help build a gingerbread house in her son Aiden's class. She told her husband, who was working from home Friday, that maybe he should go instead. Aiden would love to have Daddy come to class.

Robert planned to be in Victoria Soto's classroom at 2 in the afternoon.

In another Newtown house, 6-year-old Emilie Parker woke up to say goodbye to her father, Robbie, before he left for work at a local hospital.

He had been teaching Portuguese to his daughter, and she practiced by saying "bom dia" (good morning) and asking how he was.

Emilie told her daddy she loved him and gave him a kiss. Then Robbie Parker dashed out the door.

These are parents who are just like us, were struggling with the balance in earning a living and being there for their kids. As technology erodes boundaries, customers grow more demanding, and bosses pile on the work, think of the parents in Newtown and have the courage and discipline to stay true to your priorities. What they wouldn't give to have their child tugging on their sleeve once again!