The Work/Life Balancing Act

Do you need an electronic curfew?

As someone who has personally fought the battle of electronic devices, I am absolutely convinced that powering down an hour before tucking in leads to a better night's rest. 

But as much as I'm an advocate for electronic curfews, I'm also wondering if it's realistic to give ourselves one. I don't know about you, my iPad loves hanging out on my nightstand and it occasionally, falls into my hands right before drifting off to sleep.

I have lots of company in this habit. According to a newly released study by The National Sleep Foundation, more than 90 percent of Americans regularly use a computer or electronic device of some kind in the hour before bed. We're hooked and we know it.

Now, I've learned that researchers at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute showed that exposure to light from computer tablets significantly lowered levels of the hormone melatonin, which regulates our internal clocks and plays a role in the sleep cycle. Playing a quick game of Fruit Ninja on my iPad at bedtime could lead to sleep disturbances. But it may not be the light of a cell phone or computer alone that triggers sleep problems. It could be the anxiety produced when you, say, read a work e-mail that makes you angry. 

I've noticed that having had a good night's sleep does make a difference in my work day. It's almost as if waking up well rested puts me in the right frame of mind to be a better problem solver. Beware: This weekend, our sleep schedules are about to get messed up -- Daylight Saving Time begins this Sunday morning at 2:00 am. Sleep experts say this presents the perfect time to give yourself an electronic curfew. They suggest dimming the lights and listening to soft music before going to bed, having a nice conversation with your spouse or kids, or maybe even reading a magazine or taking a warm bath.

I can think of at least three reasons to give yourself an electronic curfew. 

1. Your work day will be more productive when you can focus.

2. You have less chance of an afternoon slump.

3. You will cut your chance of sleep texting, leading to possible embarrassment.

What can I say? You might be far less effected than others who use electronics right up until they time they shut their eyes. But you will never know if you feel more rested and balanced until you try powering down earlier, will you?

 

 

When does workplace stress turn into burnout?

All of us have workplace stress of some sort -- maybe we're dealing with a demanding boss or a mounting pile of paperwork. And then there's technology, making it more difficult to disconnect.

But there's that line when crossed turns stress into distress.

Today, one of the most respected medical professionals in the country weighs in on stress and provides some insight on how he recommends his patients better cope with it.

Readers, I hope you find this helpful and if you have ways of coping with stress that work for you, please share!

 

Work/Life Balancing Act

Tips for managing workplace stress

      By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN     

 

  

 

Many of us struggle with stress, but some cross over into the danger zone. The telltale sign: a near or complete lack of work-life balance.

 










  

  

                           

                

                

                                   

                                                           
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Stress at a glance

• Health problems linked to stress include heart attack, obesity, depression, insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome and diabetes.

• Common traits of burnout are excessive devotion to work and productivity at the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships; inability to delegate tasks.

• Symptoms of burnout: chronic fatigue, cynicism, emotional exhaustion, failure to take time off, headaches and explosions of anger.

• Almost a third of all workers feel “extremely stressed” at work. About 14 percent of workers felt like striking a coworker in the past year, but didn’t.

Sources: The American Institute of Stress; Charles Nemeroff, University of Miami Miller School of Medicine.

 

      

                                              

By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

cindykgoodman@gmail.com

  

            There are end of the year deals to close, budgets to meet, gifts to buy, and just thinking about it has your stress level rising. But when does stress turn into distress and at what point should your employer intervene?

For American workers, coping with workplace stress is a year-round concern that employers are beginning to see as partly their responsibility. Three-fourths of employees believe that workers have more on-the-job stress than a generation ago and nearly half say they need help in learning how to manage it, an Attitudes in the American workplace study by the American Institute of Stress shows.

Most of us harried workers struggle with the daily pressure of time demands, but some cross over into the danger zone. The telltale sign that a breakdown is near is a complete lack of work-life balance.      

“Often these are the people working 14 hours a day and expecting others to do it, too,” said Charles Nemeroff, chairman of the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine. “I’ll ask them when is the last time you had fun and they look at me like are you kidding?”

Service professionals such as lawyers, financial advisors, accountants and doctors particularly are susceptible with increased client demands and technology making it more difficult to shut off job stress. Often they push themselves harder and harder to achieve.

Attorney Harley Tropin, a shareholder at Kozyak Tropin & Throckmorton, just doesn’t see that formula leading to a long career. He wants to help his lawyers strive for balance and change the way their brains and bodies react to stressors. Last month, he brought in medical experts to help them identify stressors and learn coping skills such as breathing and meditation. “It’s important to deal with stress the right way, to make a conscious effort to do something about it and not assume it will take care of itself,” Tropin says.

Tropin personally defuses the stress of arguing in court, by practicing Mindful Meditation, a widely adopted form of meditation that has become increasingly popular with business leaders. It involves focusing on your mind on the present and becoming aware of your breathing.

Alan Gold, a federal judge for the Southern District of Florida, also practices mindfulness meditation and has become a proponent of teaching practices for stress reduction to attorneys. Gold has advocated for the creation of a task force on the mindful practice of law with the Dade County Bar Association and the local Federal Bar Association.

Gold says he regularly sees attorneys shuffle into his courtroom on the brink of a breakdown. He links erosion in the degree of civility in the profession with lawyers’ inability to cope with extreme stresses.

They may lash out in anger at a co-worker, assistant, client — or even a judge.

“If you recognize you’re in this situation, the next step is to get out of it. The quickest and simplest way is to slow down and take time to focus on your breathing. This is not something that comes naturally for lawyers. It’s counterproductive to their bottom line way of doing business,” he says.

Outside of meditation, some employers are turning to on-site yoga, or just simply workload management to help employees better manage stress. At Kane & Company, a South Florida CPA firm, employees recently learned from a psychologist how to become more effective controlling their job-related stress. Suggestions included breathing exercises, exercise in general and focusing on relaxation techniques. Monte Kane, the firm’s managing director, says the workshops help his staff with everyday stress, but he makes it his responsibility to know when they have entered the burnout zone.

Read more...

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/12/11/3137810/tips-for-managing-workplace-stress.html#storylink=cpy

Why do workers leave unused vacation days on the table?

Are you going to forfeit vacation days this year?

If you're answer is yes, you have lots of company. It's easy to lose track of where you stand with your vacation days --  so ask about days earned and days used and days you can carry over -- and do it now while you still have a chance to schedule time off.

Today, I wrote a Miami Herald column about the increasing number of people who aren't using their paid vacation time -- that's a form of compensation that goes right back to your employer instead of to you. Even if you're not planning a get away, a day off at home helps a lot with work life balance. And, you might even consider spending the day making doctor's visit as the year comes to a close. By now, most people have reached their deductible so it's a great time for any lingering ailments you might want examined.

 

 

Work/Life Balancing Act

Many are feeling the vacation day squeeze

By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN     

American workers are leaving a growing number of vacation days on the table as work demands increase.

        Dwight O'Neal, a sales support representative for Josie Maran Cosmetics, is shown with Josie Maran. He loves his job and doesn't like to take vacation days at this time of the year.    

           

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By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

balancegal@gmail.com

            Inside Sephora, where nail polishes and perfumes abound, Dwight O’Neal holds out a makeup brush to dab his brand’s illuminizer on a young woman. Over the next few weeks, O’Neal will travel to Sephora stores throughout the Southeast prettying potential customers to pump up sales of Josie Maran products. With his intense schedule during the holidays, taking a vacation day is out of the question.

For O’Neal, an educator and sales support representative with Josie Maran Cosmetics, that means thinking strategically and using his vacation time in February, rather than forfeiting days off at year end.

As 2012 draws to a close, the question looms: Are you going to accidentally forfeit vacation days?     

      For an increasing number of American workers, the answer is yes.

“Now is the time of year that everyone should take note of his or her company’s vacation policy,” says employee benefits expert Joanne Apice. You should know if you can carry over vacation days and if so, how many.

A survey by Harris Interactive found that by the end of 2012, Americans will leave an average of 9.2 days of vacation unused, up from 6.2 days last year. It also found profits per employee are at a 10-year high, mostly because workers are cramming in more hours.

O’Neal says in December he crams in hours at Sephora by choice. He loves his job showing customers how to use Josie Maran’s organic cosmetics and wouldn’t want to take a day off during busy season even if he could. “In retail, December is a blackout period but that’s OK with me. I love being on the floor, interacting with customers.”

Others say they, too, try to be strategic about vacations, well aware of policies on “use them or lose them” and end-of-the-year blackout periods in industries such as hospitality, retail and healthcare. But inevitably, there are those who lose track of where they stand with vacation days.

“There are workers who are scrambling to get days off scheduled,” Apice says. “When you have multiple employees in that situation and you still have work that needs to be done, it is a challenge to balance scheduling and management of the department.”

Yet, for some workers, particularly at high levels, there’s a reluctance to take time off. An increasing number of people say they can’t afford to take all the vacation allotted to them because work piles up. Others conclude that they are just too busy to take time off or don’t want to send the signal that they are not committed.

Peter Mendez, a finance services executive, says he will be among those who leave vacation time unused in 2012, mostly because he fears the mountain of work that awaits upon return. “It is too painful coming back to 2,000 emails.”

Forfeiting vacation time happens even as American bosses encourage employees to take their earned time off. According to an Expedia survey, the majority of Americans workers said their bosses support taking their allotted time off, with only 5 percent who said their bosses weren’t supportive. “Employers give vacation time to recharge so that when you come back you are refreshed and can perform better,” Apice said.

John Morrey, general manager of Expedia.com, said in a statement, “Your vacation days are not a gift, not a luxury. They’re yours to use. Studies consistently show that an ideal work-life balance leads to happier and more productive employees.”

Read more...

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/11/27/3116029/many-are-feeling-the-vacation.html#storylink=cpy

 

 

Taking risks to find work life balance

How gutsy are you? Do you know that men happen to be bigger risk takers than women in some areas of life? Being a risk taker can pay off -- in career success, in financial success in life accomplishments. 

I consider Julia Yarbough a risk taker.

Her life story will wow you and that's why I'm thrilled to have her as my guest blogger today. Julia is a broadcast journalist  and owner of Julia Yarbough Media Group. She had been working at a South Florida television station when she decided to take a detour in life. Not all of us have the guts to take such leaps to remodel our work life balance but I think Julia's story will inspire you. Visit her at  www.highwaytoahusband.com or contact her at info@juliayarboughmediagroup.com.

 

After disappearing from your television newscasts at NBC6 almost three years ago, I made a life-changing departure from the norm. Stepping away from my career I chose to let fate and destiny be my compass. I hit the road for a cross-country dream journey to explore the USA.

My best friend, CBS4 reporter Silva Harapetian, and I decided to become somewhat like Thelma and Louise and experience whatever life brought at us as we drove in my Nissan Xterra across 22 states, for ten months, canvassing more than 18-thousand miles. Being single and seemingly perpetually dateless, I had it in my head that maybe...just MAYBE by exposing myself to new places and people I might cross paths with my Mr. Right. Great plan, right?

Well, we traveled, I dated...more dates in those 10 months than in four years, and I met some great men. No serious love connection though, but my journey began to bring me so much more than I could have imagined. It brought me a greater appreciation for who I am, what I bring to the table and the understanding that it is within my own power to create the kind of life I want. In fact, we ALL have that ability!

Here are a few “tips” I would like to share:

• Be willing to step outside of your comfort zones. Sometimes achieving our goals requires us to s-t-r-e-t-c-h. To force ourselves to do things, go places and learn concepts that we have not previously been exposed to. Leaving my career, my income, my home, my friends, and daily patterns was about as far as one could go to step outside the comfort zone. The experience has made me stronger. More confident. More trusting in my own abilities.

 

• Make a committment to yourself to do something you’ve always dreamed of doing. Don’t just think and talk about it. DO IT! There is an incredible sense of empowerment when you realize the world won’t cave in if you put your needs and wants at the forefront once in a while. A cross-country road trip was a life-long fantasy. How incredible to see it through!

 

• Create your own Change. Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you because you’ll probably be waiting a long time and will more than likely be disappointed at the outcome. You owe it to yourself to set the wheels into motion to create EXACTLY what you want for yourself!

 

• Make a list of what you are most afraid. Once you do this, challenge yourself to face those fears. With each step, you’ll discover you are becoming stronger, more confident, more capable of facing whatever life throws at you.

 

• Be authentic. I’ve learned that when we’re true to ourselves, it’s amazing the people and situations we attract into our lives. During ten months on the road, I learned that quite honestly, I don’t always like wearing a lot of make-up, or high heels, or always being “on” for the camera. I like Country-line dancing, I like driving my truck and it turns out, I enjoy fishing. Who knew?? I’m more real now, than ever. You will be, too when you tap into your authentic self.

 

• Be fearless in your approach to life. For ten months on the road, Silva and I faced fear head-on. From the simple fear of “where are we lodging for the night?” to “Are we lost and how do we get back to the interstate?” I dove into chilly waters to snorkel with Manatees in North Florida. We stepped into a Blackhawk Helicopter simulator. We camped (in tents) along the Rio Grande River in Big Bend National Park, Texas. We fly-fished in Montana, we river rafted in Utah, we joined Kathie Lee and Hoda on NBC’s The Today Show, we joined Caroline Manzo, of The Real Housewives of New Jersey to crash a wedding, and we worked as contributors for The Nate Berkus Show. All of that is SCARY stuff...but we embraced every single moment!

 

• Have fun. Don’t take life so seriously. SERIOUSLY! As a dear friend often reminds me, “None of us is getting out of this alive,” so stop stressing. Things have a way of always working out. My Highway to a Husband journey has taught me to live each moment with gusto and to embrace everything that comes our way. I like to say, “Life is journey, so enjoy the ride.”

 

I’m not quite sure where my life journey is leading.  I've been remolding my life/work/balance with Highway to a Husband and carving out a new path. It's always interesting and sometimes challenging, but well worth it! I’m still single. No husband. No boyfriend. But boy oh boy is life full, exciting and satisfying. I know my Mr. Right is out there somewhere but I’m having a great time living life while he’s deciding to come find me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why we're still afraid to take vacation

A friend of mine has no vacation plans this summer. She told me she isn't even going to use all her vacation days.

I told her she's crazy, that she's entitled to take the days off that she has earned. But she explained to me that she's afraid to use them all because her consulting firm recently had layoffs.

Guess what? She's not alone in her fear.

Americans still are leaving millions of vacations days unused. I thought this was a trend that was changing. I thought that workers were so burned out that they were FINALLY going to take some time off this summer. But I underestimated how broke and afraid Americans are with the economy still sputtering. 

Apparently, we're still afraid that if we leave for a week our bosses might decide they could get along fine without us. We're afraid of returning to so much backlogged work that we find it's actually less stressful to stay in the office and get it done. Lastly, we're afraid to spend the money when our chances of getting raises remain slim and our bank accounts are drained. We've grown accustomed to taking off a day here or there, rather than a week at a time.

According to a recent study by Harris Interactive, an Internet-based market research firm, 57 percent of Americans ended 2011 with unused vacation time, failing to take, on average, 11 of their allotted days off — or 70 percent of what they’d rightfully earned. Other national surveys have calculated that as many as 66 percent of us keep working when we could be kicking back somewhere, leaving unused a total of 459 million vacation days.

At a recent event I attended, an executive recruiter asked me if I thought workers were still taking sabbaticals or year-long leaves. He argued that service professionals need long periods of time off because the nature of their business has them on call 24/7 and the stress can lead to health issues. I suggested rather than sabbatical, they start by taking a real vacation.

If you are afraid of taking vacation, you should be more fearful of not taking vacation.  Avatar HR Solutions Inc. researched some of the reasons employees leave jobs. While pay and career advancement are common among them, about 40 percent of employees left because they felt overworked, a lack of work/life balance or too much job stress. Basically, they needed a vacation!

Kevin Sheridan, author of "Building a Magnetic Culture" and an expert on employee engagement told columnist Rex Huppke: "I'm a huge believer in the employer nudging employees toward time off, encouraging better balance in their work/family life. There is a proven linkage to new ideas and time off, to better performance."

I asked a few managers I know whether taking vacation time made a difference in their view of an employee. "Would you be more likely to let go of an employee if they took a week's vacation and all went well without them?" I wanted to know. The answer most often was this: "Not if the employee proved his worth on a regular basis."

So why is it that we're still so afraid of looking like a slacker? Would your job or your client really be at risk if you took a week off?

 

 

What the Urban Meyer controversy teaches us about business

To be a great leader, you need charisma. But most of all, you need integrity.

I used to think Urban Meyer, University of Florida's former football coach, was a great leader, a great coach.  Now, I question whether he is or ever was what he appeared to be. And, whether he has the integrity to be a leader.

Would you play for Meyer?

After he won two national championships in six years at Florida, Meyer resigned -- claiming burn out. Publicly, he said he wanted to spend more time with family and concentrate on health issues. That lasted less than a year when he announced he was taking the job of head coach at Ohio State.  (Clearly his desire for better work life balance and a concern for his health was a bunch of hogwash!)

Anyway, just last week Sporting Good News picked apart Meyer's tenure as Florida coach in a story titled: Did Urban Meyer Break Gator's Football? One of the biggest allegations in the article is that Meyer left behind a broken team. (click here to see video)

The article says as Florida coach, Meyer had created a culture of resentment. It says he enabled and pandered to his elite players, his “Circle of Trust” Once you were in the inner circle, you were treated more favorably, your infractions downplayed. After a while, the concept of an inner circle began to contribute negatively toward team chemistry.

Isn't that the same problem we see in many businesses?

Have you worked for a CEO who has a circle of trust, a management team that seems way too clubby? I have and I know that once someone makes it into a CEO's inner circle, they are going to get preferential treatment. And, once they do, they will never question the boss's integrity and they will get away with things that other workers won't. If the favoritism is blatent, it's going to be resented by the rest of the employees and it will destroy any attempts at team work.

Meyer described his star players as the team's hard workers. A CEO might do the same.

Here's what Meyer said in response to the Sporting News article:  "When you start saying preferential treatment to players, that's probably a correct statement. We did do that. We do that here. We did it at Bowling Green and Utah," said Meyer, mentioning his previous coaching stops while speaking Wednesday on the Big Ten coaches spring teleconference. "If you go to class, you're a warrior, you do things the right way off and on the field, and you're completely committed to helping us win, you're going to get treated really good."

So, how do you survive in a culture where the CEO-anointed stars get preferential treatment or get away with behavior that should not be tolerated?  How do you thrive rather than letting the culture destroy your outlook on your work and home life?

One word: integrity. Stick to your guns, do your best, keep your feelers out for a better job, and know that eventually this type of culture will implode. It did at Florida. It did at a long list of companies I could rattle off.

For a business to thrive, you need true team work, and that only happens when the culture is created around it. Eventually, in workplace cultures like the one fostered by Meyer-- either the CEO resigns or is forced out, or the company performs so poorly that it needs to restructure.

Now the question is, did Meyer learn from the past? Do any CEOs learn from their mistakes?

One fan recently posted, "Meyer is a hell of a coach, but not a great person." I say, to be truly successful, you have to be both.

 

The power of time off

Just the other day, an executive recruiter asked me if I thought people still take sabbaticals. He told me is thinking about taking one. The recruiter also asked me if I thought there was a correlation between service professionals, their high stress levels and health issues. He thinks there is and that sabbaticals are the answer.

So, when I heard that every seven years, designer Stefan Sagmeister closes his New York studio for a yearlong sabbatical to rejuvenate and refresh their creative outlook, it caught my attention. Interestingly Stefan mapped the life span of working adults and decided to take years from his retirement and intersperse it with his working life. The end result was creative and enjoyable for all.

Here's he is on Ted.com talking about the power of taking time off. I found it inspiring. Would you be brave enough to take a sabbatical?