April 17, 2017

How to Avoid Judging other Working Mothers?

                                                         Momsss

Yesterday I was at the gym when I overheard a conversation between two mothers. One was telling the other that she had just seen her friend Susie was surprised to see her exercising. She whispered loudly to the other: "She's always working. She never sees her kids."

I listened in disbelief. I wanted to shout, "Really? She never sees her kids?" Even moms who work ungodly hours see their kids sometimes.

Maybe the woman does work a lot. Maybe she doesn't see her children as often as a non working mother. But when someone works a lot, exercising is the outlet he or she often needs to be more patient with their kids when they do spend time with them. 

If a father was at the gym exercising, would other dads whisper to each other, "What's he doing here? He never sees his kids."

I don't think so.

C'mon ladies we need to stop judging other mothers. In 2015—the year for which the most recent data are available—42 percent of mothers were sole or primary breadwinners, bringing in at least half of family earnings, according to the Center for American Progress. The reality is the majority of mothers contribute significantly to their families’ bottom lines. Along with making dough comes responsibility and long hours, which means more moms must sacrifice time with their families.

It is a testament to the hard work and tenacity of women that they have reached the level they occupy today. The flip side is that while working mothers are traveling for work, attending meetings and landing promotions, more fathers, grandparents and babysitters are picking up the childcare responsibilities and we need to be okay with that without passing judgment.

Yes, some mothers prefer to be at work than be home with their children. Some fathers do, too. It doesn't mean these parents don't love their children. Neglect is a different thing altogether, and I don't condone it. But parents who gain fulfillment from working yet still want to be a good parent deserve more from us than judgment. 

Let's encourage working mothers to practice self care. 

Let's support mothers who put in long hours.

Let's let other people choose how they prioritize without judging them.

Let's help other working mothers when we see opportunities.

Next time you're at at the gym and see a stressed working mother who is decompressing, cheer her on. Not only will she benefit, her children will, too. In the end, we all prosper when a working mother succeeds.

March 01, 2017

Getting Ready to Become a Working Mother

It was 21 years ago when I waddled into the newsroom wondering how much longer I could hold on at work until my daughter was born. I desperately wanted to work until the last possible minute, particularly because I had no idea what my life as a working mother was going to be like. Getting ready to become a working mother is tricky. As they say, no one can fully prepare you for what's ahead. By the second week of March I had given birth and the work life balancing act had begun.

Today, my guest blogger shares her experience and perspective as she prepares to become a new mother while continuing to practice law.  Let me introduce you to Laura E. Eggnatz, an associate with Shapiro, Blasi, Wasserman & Hermann, one of the largest independent full-service litigation and transactional law firms in South Florida. Laura focuses her practice on products liability and mass and toxic torts defense litigation. Connect with Laura at leggnatz@sbwh.law. Feel free to comment below and share your thoughts with her on life as a new mom.

 

 

Laura E. Eggnatz

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have been an attorney for almost eight years, and now, as I set out to embark on my career as a first-time mother, I am finding that while pregnancy is without a doubt an amazing and brilliant experience, it is also one of the most stressful. As my due date rapidly approaches and my legal career will be put on hold for a few months, one of the biggest stressors is preparing for maternity leave and figuring out how I will balance the most important aspects of my life—a new baby, my role as a new mother, and a legal career—while still out on leave. I am planning to use the preparation skills I have learned, enhanced and utilized as an attorney to juggle this difficult balance. I offer some suggestions to those in a similar position as me:

1. Prepare an exit plan: I am protective of the work I do, and tend to shy away from relying on others. Yet I recognize I will have no choice when I am out of the office for three months. To combat this struggle, I am creating a spreadsheet of all ongoing matters I expect will require coverage and attention while I am out. I also have had conversations with my supervisors and staff about handling my day-to-day responsibilities. Delegation and learning to “let-go” is key. Having some coverage system in place will ensure an easy transition before, during and after my maternity leave.

2. Prepare to stay informed: Most people would encourage a new mother to completely disconnect from work while on maternity leave. That is not something I can do. Although I do not anticipate performing any substantive work, I plan to review my e-mails and stay in touch with my colleagues on a basis that is appropriate and convenient for me. I feel more comfortable with having some contact during leave, rather than being completely out of touch. Even limited communication will be beneficial to a smooth transition back to work.

3. Prepare a return plan: I anticipate experiencing mixed feelings about returning to work when the end of my maternity leave approaches. Here lies the majority of the work-life balance struggle: How can I leave my newborn?  How will I be able to handle a newborn and a career?  How can I be a good mom and a good attorney at the same time? The answers to these questions are unknown to me right now, and may very likely go unanswered. But a flexible plan in returning to work may make all the difference. Before my leave, I will discuss my timeline with my supervisors for returning to work and be upfront about what my work limitations may be once I return, i.e., less travel, doctor’s appointments, working from home when baby is sick. Staying connected and informed throughout my leave is a key aspect of my return plan. For me, this will lessen the overwhelming feeling of getting up to speed after being away and understanding the workload I will have to balance once I return.

4. Prepare for the unexpected: I may sound like I have everything under control—I certainly do not. Part of my preparation for maternity leave is preparing for the unexpected. I am confident that as long as I am prepared and do what I feel comfortable with, the stress in balancing a family and a career during maternity leave will be manageable.

 

 

 

 

February 27, 2017

Savannah Guthrie is back: What it's really like to return from maternity leave

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(Nathan Congleton / TODAY)

 

There was a lot of hoopla this morning

on The Today Show about the early return of co-anchor Savannah Guthrie. I happened to be on the Today Show Plaza the morning that Savannah gave birth and the anchors announced the name of her baby, Charley. Everyone was excited for her, including me. For the last few months, all kinds of people have pitched in to fill her spot. Savannah is one of the fortunate women in the United States, who like me, was able to take time off after giving birth to bond with her newborn. She was supposed to return March 3, but because it was such as busy week for the show, and because Hoda Kotb is out bonding with her newly adopted baby and Tamron Hall quit abruptly, Savannah returned early.

As a mother, who made that return to work three times, I know exactly what Savannah is experiencing. Because she loves her job, Savannah understood that duty calls and she was needed at work. In many ways, she was excited to be back. The first day is always exciting. Yet, as a mom, it's also emotionally challenging. 

Ahead of her appearance, Guthrie shared an adorable note to her two children, admitting that she was already missing them.

“Missing my babies already. But excited to see everybody this morning on ,” she wrote on Twitter alongside a note that read “Dear Vale and Charley, I will see you home for lunch. Love, Mommy.”

 

Of course, that's the first day back. Then, comes the second and inevitably, it's much harder. The excitement of being greeted back by colleagues has worn off and the reality sets in. And then, the balancing act hits hard. As one new mom told me who is back at her job in a digital marketing firm "I'm on #teamnosleep." 

The most challenging part of returning from maternity leave is the battle against perception. As a new mom, you're exhausted. But you don't want to seem exhausted at work. As a new mom, you don't want the most challenging assignments. But you also want to be perceived as capable and at least considered for them. As a new mom, you enjoy talking to adults again. But you carry around guilt that you are missing out on what your newborn is doing, and you don't want to freely admit it in the workplace.

Whether it's your first time or your fourth, returning from maternity leave will bring on all kinds of emotions and angst. Someone will ask you how the baby is and you will find yourself torn between whipping out your phone and showing him the latest photo, and answering with a quick "great" to avoid thinking about your baby and weeping.

So welcome back Savannah. I know behind your TV smile, some mornings you will be downright sleep deprived and maybe even a bit disheveled. I will cheer you on, and I believe other working moms will too. After all, we've all been there and we've survived -- because that's what working moms do!

 

February 16, 2017

Surviving That Terrible Working Mother Moment

                                                       

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Talking work life balance with Samantha Ettus


One day at work, I was getting ready to leave for an author's lunch at my daughter's elementary school. As I gathered my things, my phone rang. It was a businessman who I had been trying to reach for days to interview for an article. He was headed out of town and willing to give me a few minutes of phone time before he boarded his flight. I sat back down and furiously took notes on my computer. By the time I finished the interview and arrived at my daughter’s classroom, she look as if she wa holding back tears. She already had read her story to the class.

I felt like crud. The guilt overwhelmed me and lasted for days. I even considered quitting my job.

Now, 15 years later, my daughter has no memory of that day. Instead, she remembers the many times I was at her elementary class parties, awards ceremonies and field days.

Still, it was so relieving to hear from author Samantha Ettus that many other working mothers also experience that "terrible working mother moment."  Last week, Samantha Ettus spoke about her new book, The Pie Life:A Guilt-Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction, at the Broward County Library Literary Lunch. In writing her book, Samantha encountered many working mothers who experience that moment when they miss an event in their child's life or forget to pack their child something he or she needs for school and the mom melts down, consumed by guilt. As Samantha pointed out, the crazy part is that years later, the children don't even remember the incident that caused all the guilt and feelings of inadequacy.

Samantha_mockupbook-1In her book, Samantha guides readers to become aware of how much time they dedicate to each slice of their home and work lives and offers a key piece of advice: "If you choose to open up the well of guilt, you'll find that it is bottomless. Guilt is dangerous; it eats up our time and drives poor decisions."

Yes, guilt drives poor decisions. It drives heat of the moment decisions, and those actions often create problems for us in the long run.

Ettus speaks from experience as  a mother of three. She has learned what I have discovered from balancing work, family, friends and heath and hobbies -- to survive with your sanity, you must drop the quest for perfection because it's an impossible goal. 

So then, how do working mothers survive those moments when they feel like a "bad mother" or "bad employee" or when they see another woman soaring and wonder how she has such a put-together life?

Here are five survival tactics:

*Know that everyone has messy moments. "Empathize with yourself until the messy moment passes, at which point you will have the perspective to reflect on it rationally," Samantha says. 

*Make life decisions rationally. Base decisions on goals, values, desires rather than reactions or emotions. 

*Define your non negotiables. (No work on Sundays, Friday night dinners are untouchable, etc.) Once you know them, you can set boundaries to protect them, Samantha says.  

*Never apologize for working. "You are a role model to your kids. Why would you apologize for that," Samantha says.

*Talk to another working mother. No one understands the struggle to do it all like another working mother. When your are at a low, feeling the support of a friend who gets it can bring you back up. "Having a healthy slice of friends is essential for your health and happiness," Samantha says.  

When working mothers have messy moments, we want to tell our children to remember a wonderful moment instead (Remember this, not that). But what many mothers don't realize is that we don't need to give those instructions. When we do our best to show our children love, holding on to those wonderful memories just happens. Now, that's some incentive to lose the guilt and live The Pie Life.

January 19, 2017

Brenda Barnes: A Working Mother We All Should Mourn

 

A few nights ago, I was late to pick my son up from sports practice because of a business event. When I pulled into the school parking lot, he was sitting alone on the curb looking exhausted. I knew had still had hours of homework ahead of him and I felt awful for being late. I know in the big picture, no one would accuse me of being a horrible mother, but at that moment, I felt like one.

Some days, juggling work and family is more difficult than others. Brenda Barnes knew that juggling act well. 

BarnesI had just started writing about work and family when I met up with Brenda Barnes. She was the first female CEO of PepsiCo and a working mother of three. Brenda Barnes did something few women at her level in business had dared to do. In 1997, when Brenda was president and CEO of Pepsi-Cola North America, she resigned after 18 months to become a stay-at-home mom. Her children were then 10, 8 and 7 years old. She told the New York Daily News at the time that "You have to make choices. Maybe I burned (the candle) at both ends for too long."

The backlash from Brenda’s resignation was loud. Many women didn’t approve, and her actions fueled the “Can Women Do It All?” debate over the extent to which family duties keep women out of executive suites.

I spoke to Brenda about the time and she told me she was still engaged in the business world and was sitting on corporate boards. But she was also driving her children to soccer practice and the movies. She sounded happy.

Years later, Brenda did something equally as noteworthy.Not many women return to the highest ranks after taking time off, but in 2004, with her children teenagers and preparing for college, Brenda went back to a full-time job at Sara Lee Corp. She became CEO, and then added the chairman title a few months later. She accomplished the tough task of renaming the company and making it profitable. It was as if Brenda proved that spending time with her children didn’t make her any less of a capable businesswoman.

Unfortunately, in 2010, Brenda suffered a stroke while working out at a gym near her home. She resigned as CEO of the company when it became clear she faced a long recovery. Brenda spent the last 6½ years working on her recovery until recently when during her sleep, she had another stroke that took her life.

When I learned of Brenda’s recent death at 63, it hit me hard. I wanted this strong woman to succeed at everything she did. By my standards Brenda succeeded at the most important job she held, being a mom. Her daughter Erin Barnes told the Sun Times she remembers her as “the best mother you could ever imagine." Erin also spoke to the importance of family in her mother’s life. “Family is what she lived for,” she said.

To me, Brenda Barnes represented the juggle we all do and the tough choices we face trying to be there for our children and our jobs. To me, she was a role model who exemplified that it’s okay to put our family first at times, and our jobs first at other times. I will think of Brenda’s efforts at balance often, and give myself a pass when I fall short of the expectations I place on myself. I hope you will, too.

 

 

Video clip from Interview with Fortune Magazine

November 16, 2016

How to Tap the Working Mothers Network

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One Saturday my editor called while I was shopping with my young children in the dollar store. He had questions in an article that was going to run on the front page and needed answers immediately. To be able to pay attention and give him the answers he wanted, I had to keep my children occupied and in my eyesight. So, I let them pull all the toys off a rack. Off the fell onto the ground in a big pile while my children were delighted.

It was an awful parenting moment that was punctuated by dirty looks from other customers. However, after a short while, a woman saw the distress on my face and began to engage my children in conversation while getting them to put the toys back on the rack.  When I eventually hung up the call and thanked the woman, she dismissed my attempts at gratitude and said, “I understand. I’m a mom, too.”

I have thought about that woman a lot over the years when I hear or see moms judging other moms. It’s easy to say, “I would never let my kid do that” or “What kind of mother is she?” but it’s much kinder to be empathetic and help another mother out. . At some point, almost all working mothers for working too much, or for not knowing about something that was going on with our children that we should have known. Those are the times when we need someone to tell us “I understand, I’m a mom, too." 

For me, balancing work and family is about doing my best on any given day, whether or not my best is what someone else thinks it should be. But I have learned that other mothers can play a huge role in helping me to do my best. 

A few weeks ago I interviewed a mother with a special needs son who recently went back to work. As I was talking to her it, she received a text with photo of her son at field day. A mother who was at the school for the event sent it to her. "This is awesome. This is what a moms network is all about," she told me.

While there are official mommie networks in some cities, I find it is the informal ones that most working mother rely on... you know, the mothers of your child's friends, the room mothers, other soccer moms, parents you meet at birthday parties. Every get together or interaction with other parents is an opportunity to build your network. 

Over the weekend, I ran into WPLG Local 10 television new anchor/reporter Neki Mohan at an event. Neki has a beautiful and feisty nine year old daughter. Neki told me she survives as a working mother because of other mothers. They drive her daughter places when she needs to work, and she drives theirs when she can. 

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(Neki and daughter)

I have tapped into the mom network many times to find out who is the best children's opthamologist or what the standard holiday gift is for a teacher.  I also have given back to the moms network, picking up other children from soccer practice when their parents are running late, or giving suggestions on where to get the right supplies for a class project. To tap the moms network, you need to give as well as take. You need to be that mother in the dollar store who helps a mother whose child pulls toys off the rack, or you need to offer to have your child's friend over on the weekend if his or her parent needs to work. When you are there for other working parents, they will be there for you.

Yes, there are mothers who take advantage. Yes, there are stay-at-home mothers who prefer to shame working mothers rather than help them out.  But I would like to believe they are the exceptions.

I think we can all admit that raising children and holding a job is exhausting. That is exactly why creating and participating in the moms network can make all the difference between sanity and overwhelm.  Next time you see someone having a working mother moment, refrain from judgment, lend a hand, and offer these kind words, “I understand, I’m a mom, too.” When a working mother asks for help, give it willingly. Next week, you might be the one asking.

October 24, 2016

How Working Mothers Can Return to Work

I was at Starbuck's a few weeks ago and ran into a fellow journalist who I hadn't seen in many years. She was with her teenage daughter and struck up a conversation with me about how she wants to return to work after taking a decade off to be home with her children.

My first thought was...that's not going to be easy. In almost every profession, including journalism, technology has changed how we do our jobs. If my friend wants to apply for a job, she will be competing for jobs against people who have embraced that change, particularly young reporters. So what's the answer? Will my friend be able to return to work?

A few days later, I heard Gloria Samayoa speak at an event and mention that her digital marketing agency, SapientNitro, is piloting a return to work program in its Miami office. The program aimed at transitioning experienced professionals back into the workforce was successful in other offices and the agency thought Miami would be a good place to try it, too. The two conversations led to a Miami Herald column on "Returnships" which are similar to internships but for experienced workers who go back to work on a trial basis and receive one-on-one mentoring during that time period. The goal is to turn the experience into a permanent, fulltime position. 

After interviewing two mothers who participated in these "returnship"programs, I'm convinced this is a great option for anyone looking to transition back into the workforce with a gap in his or her résumé. 

You can click here for the full Miami Herald article. Here is a link to a list compiled by iRelaunch of companies that offer career re-entry programs. 

Below are some great tips from women who have returned to work.

 

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Ellen Kalis and her son Jax. Ellen, took four years off and now works at SapientNitro

 

TIPS FROM FOUR FEMALE ‘CAREER-RETURNERS’

1. Carol Fishman Cohen of Boston returned to work at Bain Capital after 11 years out of the full-time workforce. She eventually founded iRelaunch.com, a firm that connects employers with returning professionals. Her advice: “Get clarity around what want to do now at this point in your life. Once you know where you want to work, get to know the company you are applying to really well.” She also advises taking courses or refreshing skills before applying for full-time jobs or return-to-work positions. “Get into the mindset that you are open to training and the feeling you can do it.”

2. Amy Brenner Schaecter of Weston returned to work after more than a decade at home. First she went to a PR firm, then in-house at a multinational company. Her advice: “When you get back to work, make friends with a smart millennial. The synergy is awesome.”

3. Ellen Kalis participated in SapientNitro’s Returns Program after a four-year hiatus. Her advice: “You have to have confidence in your skills. If you go in and show your value right away, companies will see that. Even though I needed more ramp-up time than a millennial or someone who came from that position, hopefully I am adding value somewhere else.” Kalis is now a full-time public relations lead for SapientNitro, Canada and the Midwest. Ellen published an awesome blog post about her experience.

4. When Carol Hansen returned to return to work in New York after 10 years as a stay-at-home mom, the industry she had left —marketing/advertising — was transformed. Hansen’s transition through SapientNitro’s return-to-work program had its challenges: It was her first time working with millennials, balancing work and family, and digital storytelling. Her advice: “Jump in and raise your hand to help with any project. In doing so, talk to people in all areas of the company,” she said. “Even if I didn’t make it past the returnship period, I knew I needed to learn more and make myself relevant. I saw areas where I was strong and got a reading on areas where I wasn’t.” Hansen is now a full-time senior user experience designer at SapientNitro in New York.

 

 

 

August 29, 2016

How to survive back-to-school as a working parent

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(Sommer Davis and her family/ Photo by Shannon Kaestle)

 

For years, I've heard people say it takes a village to raise a child. Most working parents will agree with that statement. But I haven't read much on how to build your village. So this week in my Miami Herald column, I set out to help working parents build a support team for a better work life balance.

If you're a mother or father trying to adapt to a new school routine, here is where you should look to build your support team:

Workplace: The least-stressed working parents have their employers on their team. In fact, at least 4-in-10 mothers and fathers say they cannot be successful as parents without a supportive boss, according to Bright Horizons’ Modern Family Index, a 2014 survey of 1,005 American parents who work at least part time.

When the boss is not understanding, try to find co-workers who you can rely on in a pinch. Barbara Baker, an assistant in a Cutler Ridge medical office, remembers the day she needed to attend an unscheduled parent-teacher conference but saw a line of patients waiting to be checked in. Her co-worker, another working mom, stepped up and filled in.

Community: Many working parents reach into the community to build their team by joining carpools, courting neighbors and trading favors with other parents and friends. A parent who travels often for work may ask for help driving their child to after-school activities in exchange for doing a weekend pickup from a “Sweet 16” party, for example.

 

Peggy Sapp, president and CEO of Informed Families, suggests take time now to build connections: “Some people think they are too busy, but it is worth it to take time at the beginning of school. Introduce yourself to other parents or offer to meet over coffee at Starbucks. Anything you can do to create a bond now is going to make it easier than a cold-call later when you need some help.”

Family: With nearly 70 percent of mothers in the workforce, you and your spouse need to work as a well-functioning team. Today more fathers are helping to make dinner, pick up kids from school, or even leave work early to handle emergencies. For others, family members such as grandparents or aunts are critical to their support team. Don't feel bad asking a family member for help, often they enjoy the time with their young family members.

Sommer Davis says her husband, Lawrence, a long-distance truck driver, is on the road for months at a time. For Davis, raising two daughters and succeeding as a public information officer for the Miami-Dade County Water & Sewer Department requires her parents’ involvement. "I am fortunate I am able to rely on them for assistance,” Davis says.

School: You might want to make your child's teacher part of your team, too.  On back-to-school night, put teachers’ contact information into your phone, along with contact information for after-school providers, bus drivers, coaches and any other school faculty who you can call for help. Some teachers will allow a helpful child (or teen) to stay in their classrooms after school for a short while.

As this school year kicks off, start now to assemble your team. You may need it sooner than you  think.

 

 

 

 

 

August 18, 2016

A Back-to-School Tip for Working Mothers (and Fathers)

 

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Today, I was interviewing an expert for a back to school article, when she shared a piece of wisdom with me that I wish I had thought of years ago.

She suggests creating a file on your phone with the email or phone number of every person your child comes in contact with during the school day. For example, the file would have the bus driver's number, the transportation department's number, the mother who drives your child to school. It would also have the teacher's contact info and the school's contact info. If you child is in aftercare, it would have the aftercare director's number or one of the care providers. If you child is in extracurricular activities such as piano lessons, the file would have the piano teacher's number or another parent whose child takes lessons the same day with the same teacher. 

The key is ALL the numbers are in ONE place. No need to search around and wonder whether you filed someone's info by first or last name or by topic or some other way. 

If the bus doesn't show up or you need to reach someone to reach your child, NO NEED TO PANIC! Making contact with someone who can help becomes much easier when everything is in one place and at your fingertips.

As much as our phones draw our attention away from our kids if we let them, our phones can be our lifeline when our children need to reach us, or when we need to reach them. 

It's also good to collect phone numbers of your child's friends parents. That could be a separate file on your phone. If you don't know all the parents, use the new school year as the perfect time to get to know them. 

There will be days that unpredictable events with our kids turn our lives upside down. Inevitably those days will be the ones in which we have a big presentation at work or our boss is riding along with us on a sales call. Getting our safety net prepared ahead of time can make all the difference in a working parent's work life balance!

What tips can you share with other working parents who are trying to keep it all together during the school year?

 

May 06, 2016

Lessons from Mom

When I was young, my mother wore red as often as possible. She had a red car and a red front door. Red was her favorite color. Now as a mother myself, I realize there was much more to her color choice.

My mother was a single mother of three who worked as a teacher and spent most of her time around children. She balanced work and family long before there were modern conveniences like online shopping and virtual assistants.

I knew other mothers stayed home, but even though my mother worked, she was always there to pick me up from school or a dance and take me to weekend activities. If I was sick and couldn't go to school, I stayed home alone. If I wanted my clothes clean for school, I washed them. If I wanted lunch, I packed it. She made the working mother thing seem easy.

From growing up with a single, working mother, I learned a few lessons that serve me well today.

  1. Make your kids help. I make my kids do dishes, help with cooking, make their beds…all the things my mom made me do. It teaches them responsibility and takes some of the household chores off my plate.
  2. Be organized. My mother, a teacher, shopped during the summer for Christmas, birthdays, and emergencies. She had gifts in her closet at all times so we were never caught off guard should an invitation come our way.
  3. Savor Sunday night. Sunday nights were quiet time in our house. My mother paid the bills and planned dinners for the week. We did homework, read books and went to bed early. It helped to start the week from a place of peace.
  4. Insist on family dinners. We had all kinds of activities during the week but we knew to be home for dinner. Today, I credit that family time with how close I am with my siblings.
  5. Consider school as important as work. As my mother headed to her workplace, she told us our jobs were to go to school and do well. We took that responsibility seriously and today I tell my children the same thing.
  6. Only spend what you have. My mother only had a Sears credit card. That’s it. Everywhere else she paid cash. Money was tight but mom would not let us buy a thing unless we had the cash to pay for it. Otherwise, we would do without. I try to abide by the same rule and have stayed out of debt.
  7. Don't feel guilty for "me time". On Saturday night, my mother would go out and we would have a sitter until my older sister could babysit. It was my mother's time to do whatever she wanted as a woman, rather than a mom. Taking time for herself was how my mom kept her sanity and how I now keep mine.

While my mom still loves the color red, she doesn’t wear it as often today. She no longer needs to convince herself that she has power and determination to survive as a single mom. She has done her job well as a mother, grandmother and role model.

Happy Mother's Day to my mother and all of the other moms out there. You rock!

 

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My mother and stepfather both in red