The Work/Life Balancing Act

Smart ways to keep a team member from destroying your work life balance

Every time a friend of mine aimsto leave the office in time to beat traffic, her workaholic co-worker insists she finish her part of the newest project before she leaves. My friend has just about had it because usually the team project isn't due for a few more days.

Have you ever been on an office team or in a department where a single team member makes your life miserable or destroys your work life balance?

There are ways to turn things around. It may require a conversation using the most diplomatic skills you can muster. Check out my article on the topic in The Miami Herald.

The tricky business of collaboration

 

 

BGT Partners employees Aaron Metz, Arad Usha and Brittany Robins dress in costumes to watch "The Dark Knight Rises'' at Fort Lauderdale Museum of Discovery and Science.

BALANCEGAL@GMAIL.COM

Julie Black, a manager at a South Florida publishing company, was about to have another bad day. Her team member had blown a deadline and she would have to stay late, once again, to finish the project her boss was expecting in the morning.

“It’s so frustrating that one person on a team can create havoc in everyone else’s lives,” she complained.

As NBA playoff season heats up, Miami Heat fans are watching teamwork at its best. But shaping a championship team where individuals play cohesively to pull off a win can be one of the trickiest jobs a corporate leader faces. Workplaces are riddled with dysfunctional teams like Black’s, where a single player — a slacker, a workaholic or a narcissist – can affect the professional and person lives of everyone on the team.

Getting individuals to play together as well as LeBron James and Dwyane Wade can be especially challenging in a workplace culture that places a high emphasis on individual performance and competition. “Even when you have a bunch of egos, at some fundamental level, they need to believe they are working for the greater good of the team,” says South Florida executive coach Alexa Sherr Hartley. “Great players who do not get along with teammates end up limiting their careers.”

Most workers chose the function they carry out, rather than the people on their team or in their department. A team that’s too much alike risks exposure to blind spots. Diverse teams risk contention. But on any team, there may be a person who has a tendency to procrastinate or one who shoots down ideas that would actually move a project forward.

Rebecca Nicholson isn’t exactly someone who shies away from confrontation with a difficult team member. Yet, she knows obvious solutions such as simply kicking the member off of the team, or firing the individual are not always possible. Moreover, she now realizes that a better solution may be reorganizing team structure or responsibilities.

“It’s easy to dismiss conflict as a personality issue, however that detracts from being able to understand what the actual issues are,” says Nicholson, director of special projects for The Wasie Foundation South Florida, who has a doctorate in conflict analysis and resolution. “Sometimes, the real issue creating problems is the processes, the way resources are allocated or the way people understand — or misunderstand — their role on the team.”

Rather than single out “problem’’ individuals, companies often come at solutions with broad stroke fixes.

The most common are teambuilding exercises. For most of us, teambuilding conjures up images of spirited tugs of war, relay races and physical challenges. Now, companies are getting more creative — using charity work, gardening and even glass blowing as bonding exercises.

Emerson Process Management in Sunrise sent its office teams to cooking school to build camaraderie among co-workers. In front of mixing bowls and Bunsen burners, Magali Jarrin and her co-workers were charged with whipping up an entire meal, with each group cooking up a course such as appetizer, entrée, salad or dessert.

“We got to know our colleagues on a different level. When you get to know each other better outside the office, it reinforces communication,” says Jarrin, Organizational Development Director at Emerson Process Management.

At BGT Partners in Aventura, co-founder David Clarke has built team activities into the firm’s culture. The company holds continuous team building events that have included group karaoke, bowling and art projects. Recently, a celebrity drummer gave the entire office a group lesson. “He taught us how to be in rhythm together. By the end of the hour, we had more than a hundred people drumming to same beat.”

Clarke says he sees a noticeable return on investment. At BGT, employees work in teams on client’s digital challenges. Clarke says younger staffers, in particular, want collaboration, and to be a part of a team.

“The foundation of every team is the relationships of the individuals. People don’t work well together if they hate each other,’’ Clarke says. “If they like each other and are happy together, they will work together well.”

With 150 employees, Clarke admits he has encountered a toxic team member along the path to growth. But he’s come up with a way to learn of it sooner, rather than later — an anonymous online suggestion box where employees can submit problems, opinions, ideas and feedback. “It exposes things I otherwise wouldn’t have known about, before they fester and get toxic.”

Some employers bringing in conflict-resolution specialists or coaches to improve team dynamics. Hartley, an executive coach with Premier Leadership Coaching, says she urges team leaders to have direct conversations about expectations and how the team should perform. “It may be simplistic but it really helps.”

Still, there are times when a team manager or leader does need to address problems related to a single individual. Rather than dismiss someone as selfish or a failure and have it affect your work and home life, Hartley suggests confronting the problem without making it a personal attack. “Name the problem in a factual way and how it impacts you. Explain the pattern you observed and make a request for a correction. [Otherwise, you can] forget team building exercises.”

Some conflict among team members is good, say experts. It promotes debate and creative thinking. In a healthy team environment, the leader knows the difference. “People with their own agendas need to be addressed and that’s where the leader comes into place,” says Jarrin at Emerson. Rather than focus on changing behavior of an individual, a team leader may have to change the way he manages the team, she says.

The challenge for team leaders, much like the Miami Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra, is understanding that a talented player isn’t always a good team member At Steven Douglas Associates, a talent search and recruitment firm in Sunrise, even the standouts have come to see the benefit of playing well together. Executive recruiter Alan Berger says sharing leads and contacts with his team members recently helped him make a significant placement with a client. “We’re all driven but we have seen the benefit in supporting each other.”

BGT’s Clarke says leaders who want to create an environment where workers are happy, and their personal lives respected, need to hire well. “It’s not about the best, but more about who is best to work together.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Millennials think being an entrepreneur is the path to work life balance

Millennials, people in their 20s, are used to being overscheduled. They don't mind working hard, they just want to do it where and when they want to do it. Today, I wrote about how Millennials view entrepreneurship and how it will change the workplace for the rest of us. 

Young entrepreneurs redefining work world

Publish

 

(Anthony Summerlin, 26,  sends out a daily sports report to his customers via email. )

WALTER MICHOT / MIAMI HERALD STAFF

BY CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

On a recent college tour with my teenage son, a professor at a Florida university gave him pointed advice. “Don’t expect to get a job at a company. You’re going to need to be an entrepreneur.” My son didn’t react. While it caught me off guard, he took it as a given.

As college graduates don their robes and caps, they are a generation headed into the real world with a different mindset than my generation or the one before me. They know they may need to forge their own path, and they aren’t intimidated by it.

Today, Millennials, the generation in their 20s, view entrepreneurship as a way to get the freedom to work when and where they choose. They are optimistic and idealistic — and at 80 million strong, they’re going to change the way we all work and think. Empowered by technology, many already have their own side gigs going, biding their time until they can leap out on their own and create the lifestyle and work/life fit they want, according to a new study, “Millennials and the Future of Work.’’

“Even though Millennials view entrepreneurship as presenting obstacles, most of them believe the benefits outweigh downside,” said Dan Schawbel, whose Millennial Branding firm commissioned the survey with oDesk, an online workplace. “They want to be in charge of their own destiny.”

This new Millennial mindset is being stoked by the Internet and encouraged by universities. It will force employers to create entrepreneurial opportunities within their companies.

Out of college just a few years, Anthony Summerlin, 26, already is an entrepreneur. After graduating from the University of Miami, he first went to work in his father’s business, a wholesale auto dealership. But he recently saw an opportunity to go out on his own. Summerlin had been analyzing teams and offering his advice in a public forum on a sports website. He built up more than 2,000 online followers and decided to turn his hobby into an income stream, publishing a website, SweetJones55.com, and a daily sports update, that he delivers electronically to customers’ inboxes. He has more than 1,000 subscribers paying $400 to $1,000 each, and works from his Miami home on his own schedule.

“All I need is a computer with Internet access and I can run my business from anywhere,” Summerlin says. “I love that if something were to come up and I don’t want to work one day, I don’t have to. I love the freedom of being my own boss.”

With the exception of health insurance provided by his parents, Summerlin is making it mostly on his own, earning six figures. For others his age, getting a business going that can sustain them doesn’t come quickly and often requires parental support. Many Millennials are still living at home, are on a parent’s insurance plan and have funded their businesses with start-up money from family.

This generation that grew up involved in after-school activities and told to follow their passion may have student loans, but they want to make money doing things that interest them. And, there never has been a better time to chase a dream. Today there are plenty of young role models and little need to plunk down cash for equipment and real estate. The only thing you need is a computer or smartphone, a connection to the web and a good idea.

It’s no wonder that 54 percent of Millennials say they either want to start a business within the next five years, or have already started one, according to a study funded by the Kauffman Foundation.

Chris DelPrete, 22, tried the traditional route, working for Capital Grille as a chef. Seven months ago, DelPrete says he “wanted to see what else the business world had to offer” and struck out on his own with a food truck, Miami Press Gourmet Sandwiches. “I wanted to do things my way, the way I thought was the right way.” DelPrete quickly discovered the power of the Internet, using social media to broadcast his truck’s whereabouts to customers. He already has more than 700 Facebook followers. DelPrete said he’s paying back his dad, who loaned him money to buy the truck, and is on target to make a profit by the end of his first year in business.

However, DelPrete discovered independence comes with long hours; 10-hour days are not unusual. “It’s been fun and rewarding and, at times, hectic.” He encourages his peers to take the same leap he took.

Like DelPrete Millennials are seizing opportunity, wherever, whenever they see it, and that may be while they’re still in school or working a full-time job.

Of course, entrepreneurship is risky. About a third of new businesses fail within the first two years, according to the Small Business Administration. But it helps that Millennials are easing into their ventures. Odesk, a marketplace to match freelancers with work opportunities, found 21 percent of its users are making money on its platform while still in college, some making as much as $40 an hour for tech work and $30 an hour for non-tech projects.

And 72 percent of its freelancers — who consider themselves entrepreneurs — are making money while at regular jobs and want to quit within two years to work for themselves. “They are willing to trade traditional work experience for something that provides more freedom and flexibility,” said Gary Swart, CEO of oDesk. “They don’t want to be confined to a cubicle.”

Erik Bortzfield, 24, considers himself in the pre-stages of entrepreneurship. Bortzfield left a job with stability and benefits to work for a Boca Raton start-up, an ecommerce optimization software company where he was given equity. He says he has seen an advantage in working first for other employers — mostly figuring out what mistakes not to make and where his strengths lie.

“I would love to be on the beachfront running my company, but I know it’s a long road to get to that point. My plan is to see this company through to end, walk away with money and a means to start my own company.”

The Millennials’ bend toward entrepreneurship isn’t completely by choice. Unemployment is high for this age group and those that do have jobs aren’t loving them. Millennials report low levels of satisfaction with their careers at the stage they are at and are expected to have 10 jobs by the time they are 40, according to Schawbel’s Millennial Branding.

Across the country, universities are reacting. More now offer entrepreneurship programs and hands on assistance. Florida International University even has considered making an entrepreneurship course mandatory for all graduates. “We see that it’s very appealing to them control their own future,” says Seema Pissaris, a Professor of Entrepreneurship with the College of Business Administration at Florida International University. “The technology is available, and innovative ideas are coming their way. Every week something else catching on and it spurs their ideas.”

If traditional employers want to attract this innovative group, they will need to react, too. “They’re competing with a student’s dream to have their own venture,” Pissaris notes. To compete for this innovative talent, both Schawbel and Pissaris say employers will have to create ways for the entrepreneurial mindset to exist in corporations — give a project to a team and let them run with it, or change policies to promote independence.. A PWC survey of Millennials found they want the option to shift their work hours or work in locations outside the office.

“Some organizations have started to react to this trend,” Pissaris says. “The more successful organization absolutely will react.”

 

 

Should pregnant workers get special treatment?

When I was pregnant, I made full use of the special parking spot at my newspaper's offices for expecting mothers. It was right up in front of the building and saved me from walking for miles carrying around the 70 pounds I had gained with my daughter.

I didn't ask for special treatment, but it sure was nice to get it.

Now, there's legislation afoot not just to give expecting mothers special treatment, but to save them from losing their jobs or income -- just because they are pregnant. Today, Senators Casey and Shaheen, Representatives Nadler, Maloney, Speier, Davis and Fudge are proposing a Pregnant Workers Fairness Act to ensure that pregnant women are not forced out of jobs unnecessarily or denied reasonable job modifications that would allow them to continue working. 

It would seem like the U.S., the democratic country that we are, wouldn't need such legislation. Sadly, we do.

According to women's advocacy groups,  pregnant working women are being denied simple adjustments – permission to use a stool while working a cash register, or to carry a bottle of water to stay hydrated, or temporary reassignment to lighter duty tasks.

The Pregnant Workers Fairness Act that's being reintroduced in the House and Senate would close legal loopholes. It would prevent employers from forcing women out on leave when another reasonable accommodation would allow them to continue working.  The bill also bars employers from denying employment opportunities to women based on their need for reasonable accommodations related to pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical conditions.

Here are a few examples proponents are giving for the need: Amy Crosby, a hospital cleaner in Tallahassee, Florida, was forced into unpaid leave from her job when the hospital refused to accommodate her doctor’s request that she not lift more than 20 pounds because of her pregnancy; Heather Wiseman, a retail worker in Salina, Kansas, was fired because she needed to carry a water bottle to stay hydrated and prevent bladder infections; and Victoria Serednyj, an activity director at a nursing home in Valparaiso, Indiana, was terminated because she required help with some physically strenuous aspects of her job to prevent having another miscarriage.

I was pregnant three times and I can tell you that pregnancy, while exciting, can present all kinds of health concerns and on the job dilemmas. If a pregnant women is asking for an accommodation, it's only short term -- and there's a new life at stake. Will business groups fight this legislaion? Will they say it creates an undue hardship on the employer? 

So far, 138 advocacy and legal rights organizations have shown support for Pregnant Workers Fairness Act. It's being called common sense legislation.

I for one want to see just how much common sense our legislators have when it comes to something so basic as knowing the difference between special treatment and a reasonable accommodation for a pregnant worker. Women increasingly are the breadwinners in their families. They can't afford to be forced into unpaid medical leave or fired while pregnant. Let's get this law passed!

 

Are companies really beefing up perks?

An article in the Sun Sentinel this morning says employers are beefing up perks to keep their talented rosters intact. One staffing recruiter said the pendulum has swung back and that bonuses are back in vogue. Another company said it's going to offer employees additional training.

To that, I say, "Hogwash!"

While some employers in very specific industries might be saying outloud that they are increasing benefits, I'm having trouble believing its true in most industries and for most businesses.

Is your employer becoming more generous?

To me, It just doesn't seem like the economy has come back enough for employers to want to take on any upfront costs for more or better benefits.

Just this morning, the Daily writes: 

Wondering why you haven't seen the performance you've hoped for from your 401(k) lately? A big reason may be that your employer is simply not putting what it used to into the account. 

One of the best perks of 401(k) plans is the matching contribution that employers traditionally make when workers save money in the retirement accounts. Yet these days, fewer companies are making 401(k) matches: The number of companies offering matching has fallen by almost 7 percent since 2009, according to a study from American Investment Planners. The trend of cutting back matching is just one way employers are taking the scalpel to their benefits budgets. The AIP study found that 6 percent of 401(k) plans have been terminated outright.

Are times changing after years of layoffs and high unemployment? Maybe a little, but not much. We know it's costly to replace an employee. I just don't think most employers believe they can't easily replace most workers -- not yet!

Of course, there are benefits that help retain top talent without a big investment -- smart employers have figured that out.

What are those perks?

Rosemary Haefner, Vice President of Human Resources at CareerBuilder, "Being compensated well will always be a top consideration, but we're seeking work-life balance, telecommuting options and learning opportunities outweigh other job factors when an employee decides whether to stay with an organization."

So readers, what are your thoughts? Do you think companies are beefing up perks? Do you think they have realized yet that they will need to do that to keep their good workers?

 

 

Older men will make workplace flexibility and work life balance a reality

 

Thank you Sheryl Sandberg. Thank you Anne Marie Slaughter. You have brought the conversation of work life balance back into public discussion. But let's face it women, for all our years of talking about work life balance, flexibility and having it all, we really haven't made any huge progress.

I think that soon will change.

I think it will change because older men will make it happen. 

Just the other day, I was talking to Miami law partner in his late 60s who excitedly was telling me all about the summer home he was building in the mountains. I asked him whether he was going to take the summer off work. "Oh no," he said, "I'll just bring my laptop, my cell phone and I'll work from my cabin." This came just days after another senior partner told me he wasn't retiring but instead scaling back his schedule to work from home in the mornings.

Historically, men have been excluded overtly and subtly from the work life conversation. Tanvi Gautam,  managing partner at Global People Tree wrote this for Forbes.com: "The assumption remains that “real” men (single or married) don’t need/want work-life integration. They work long, hard hours and miss meals with family, skip social events, so they can rise to the top of the corporate ladder, if need be at the expense of all else."

For the last decade, women and Millennials have struggled to get organizations to realize that flexibility is needed. Yet, male boomers -- the ones who have resisted giving flexibility to others -- are going to be the ones who make it happen. For them, it's about to get personal.

They are law firm founders, senior executives and chairmen of the boards. But as they age, they still will want their name on the masthead and to share their expertise. They just won't want the 10 to 12 hour days anymore. They will seek the ability to work from home a few days a week or from a vacation home. They will want to pull back from the extreme schedules they worked in the past, and make a gradual transition into retirement, even managing to get organizations to lift or delay mandatory retirement age.

Currently, just 13 percent of Americans are ages 65 and older. By 2030, 18 percent of the nation will be at least that age, according to Pew Research Center projections. The typical Boomer believes that old age doesn’t begin until 72, and the majority of Boomers report feeling more spry than their age would imply.

These senior male leaders will push for flexibility for their own personal use and they will get it because they have the clout and connections that women and younger workers lacked. And when the policies change to accommodate them, the women and Millennials will benefit, too. And that's how and when the workplace and policies will evolve.

For now, the rest of us just need to do our best to make our work and life fit together, and then "lean in" and wait for change to happen. It will happen. I see it on the horizon.

How to tell the boss you're overwhelmed

I'm not going to lie, even balance gal feels overwhelmed sometimes. But I've learned that there are tactics that can help and restore your work life balance. 

One of those tactics is having a conversation with your boss about your workload and priorities. How you go about that conversation is key. Today, in my Miami Herald column, I talked with career experts and bosses for their advice on how to tell the boss you're overwhelmed. Today's the day to have that conversation!

 

Overwhelmed at work? Be smart when you share it with the boss

By CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

balancegal@gmail.com

Have you ever stormed into your boss’ office and blared out: “I’m overwhelmed?”

It’s a declaration more employees are considering after being stretched to the limits. With business picking up but employers still reluctant to hire, many workers find themselves with too many things that need to be done at once; others are responsible for tasks they’re not skilled to do well.

A Harris Interactive study released this month reports that more than 80 percent of those surveyed are feeling workplace stress. The top cause: an unreasonable workload caused by recession staff cuts.

John Swartz, regional director of career services at Everest College, which commissioned the survey, said although the economy has improved, choices employers made three and four years ago are taking a toll on employees. “If 83 percent of workers are stressed, someone will reach a breaking point,” he said.

Rather than wait for a disaster, you need to talk to your boss – and take the right approach.

Career experts say whether or not the boss will react favorably depends on how you present your situation, how much effort you’re putting into your job and whether you come in with a solution. “The cause of overwhelm has to be something specific that can be addressed,” Miami executive coach Margarita Plasencia explained. “Otherwise it comes off as whiney.”

Introspection can help you set the right tone, she says. Before you approach the boss, identify why you’re overwhelmed, what’s going on in your life, the systems you have in place for managing commitments and how you use your energy. Once you’ve taken stock of the situation, you’re ready to address the problem with your boss.

“You want to speak to the boss in a manner that exudes confidence,” Plasencia said. Most importantly, she advised, let the boss know what you need from him or her. “You want to bring a solution, not a problem. Most often, the boss is overwhelmed, too.”

Still, awkward moments can ensue. “If it’s handled poorly, a boss can look at [the complaints] as someone who is not putting in enough effort, or not being a team player,” said Scott Moss, president of Moss Construction Management in Fort Lauderdale, which has 240 employees and projects spanning the Southeast. And even the most positive approach won’t be effective if you routinely leave earlier than the boss or spend chunks of time making personal calls at work, say career experts.

But for hard-working employees focused on company goals, keeping your mouth shut and missing deadlines or making mistakes is worse, Moss said.

As a boss, he has had workers, even high level executives, come to tell him they have too many new jobs starting at the same time. Moss said he listens when the employee shows how the situation could adversely affect the company and suggests a solution. “I’d rather they speak up than the company suffer.”

IN IT TOGETHER

Conveying the attitude that you are in this together to resolve an important workplace concern is a positive approach.

The majority of bosses are willing to help with setting priorities, managing competing deadlines or reallocating responsibilities.

Case in point: Lawyer Jeff Schneider, managing partner of Levine Kellogg Lehman Schneider & Grossman in Miami, was clacking away on the keyboard one day when an associate walked in. “I’m dying,” the young lawyer declared. “Deadlines are piling up on me.”

“Take a deep breath,” Schneider replied, “Tell me what the issue is.”

The associate explained that two cases had exploded at the same time and work was piling up. Schneider suggested bringing in another lawyer for support.

It’s a familiar scenario, Schneider said.

Most bosses prefer that conversation, he said to the alternatives — missed deadlines, mistakes or health issues. In the past, he has worked in environments where people fear speaking up or asking for help. “Usually, they lose it and quit.”

And, as the Pew study showed, many employers aren’t even aware how stressed employees have become.

Miami financial administrator Karen McCarthy was already stewing over an increasing workload that was leading to longer hours. As her boss handed the single mother yet another assignment, her heart began racing and anxiety took over.

When she snapped at her boss, he looked stunned. “That’s when I realized he wasn’t even aware of the weight of the workload he had dumped on me.”

LIFE PRIORITIES

But addressing the situation isn’t only the job of the company. Cali Yost, author of Tweak It and an expert on work-life dialogue, says while a boss can help set assignment priorities, it’s up to each of us to set our life priorities. Once we’re clear on them, we can make small adjustments to get the sense of overwhelm under control rather that reacting drastically, she says.

“The real reason people disengage or quit their jobs is an accumulation of small frustrations,” she said. She advises people to speak up before the situation becomes a powder keg. Ask for small changes that can lessen the load, like a more efficient computer program, a shift in work hours or a scheduled weekly priority meeting.

“People have to partner with their employers.” And that, she says, helps everyone prosper.

How are you celebrating Equal Pay Day 2013?

 

 

Today, I'd love to be at a local town hall meeting bringing attention to Equal Pay Day. But I'm slammed with deadlines. (I hate when work gets in the way of fun!) So, instead, I'm celebrating Equal Pay Day by brainstorming strategic coverage I can give the topic throughout the year.

White women are paid 77 cents, black women 69 cents and Hispanic women 60 cents for every dollar paid to a white male. If women were paid equal to men, we'd be able to afford some of the conveniences that make a difference in our work life balance -- better child care, healthier take out meals, dog walkers, etc. These conveniences not only make our lives easier, they make our entire family lives better. We can't go another generation with women earning less than men for doing the same job.

Now, I ask you, what are you doing to celebrate Equal Pay Day?

It could be something as simple as talking to your children about the wage gap and encouraging them to make changes when they enter the workplace. 

It could be something as simple as writing a quick email to your state representative to let him or her know this is an issue you care about.

It could be something as simple as asking for a raise, and telling your boss why you deserve one. Or asking for a raise for your female assistant.

It could be something as simple as re-tweeting a tweet or reposting a Facebook post in support of Equal Pay Day.

It could be something as simple as wearing red today, and telling people why you are wearing red.

I'm sure you can think of lots of other things to do. Just do something and share your thoughts!

 

When your workplace replacement is younger, what's that like? Let's ask Leno.

 

By the time you hit 40, you think every gray hair or new wrinkle is a BIG deal.  But nothing would make me feel older that losing my job to a younger person.

In the case of NBC’s Tonight show, the decision to have Jimmy Fallon take over the job of veteran host Jay Leno has been in the works for months.  Though making headlines, the two hosts and the network maintain the decision was amicable, and that it will further the success of all parties involved.

It must stink to be Jay.

Management will expect a seemless transition. If I were Jay Leno, I would be bitter, wouldn't you?

Like any ousted leader, Jay is supposed to act like he's okay with situation. He is not the first talented guy be replaced by a younger person and he won't be the last. But he does need to leave gracefully, because in TV, like in most industries, you don't want to burn bridges with anyone who might help you down the road.

Clearly, there's a lesson in Jay Leno's situation for all of us.

Today, more than ever, there's value in being young and thinking young. So if we aren't young, we need to appear young. We need to look our best in the workplace, surround ourselves with young people who can guide us how to appeal to a younger customer or audience, and be open to continually doing things differently and better. 

The New York Times said: At 62 years old, Leno represents a more traditional form of hosting, as he's known for his "Las Vegas-style comedy. Fallon, 38, regularly incorporates the Web and social media into his act, offering "a more contemporary and varied brand of entertainment." 

What Jay may not have realized is you're never too old to keep your finger on the pulse of change and go with it. If you don't, someone else will. It's a mistake many business owners and leaders make, too.

It will be interesting to see what Jay does next. At 62, he still has time to make an intriguing career move. I'll be watching and, hopefully, learning a lesson in reinvention.

 

Facebook's Sheryl Sandberg: Work life balance guru or marketing genius?

Don't get me wrong, I  love to discuss women in business and work life balance. But I'm absolutely floored by the amount of attention Sheryl Sandberg has received on her new book: of Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead. 

She could give all of us lessons in self-promotion on a grand scale. I am officially dubbing Lean In the mother of book launches. Sheryl has been on Katie, CNN, NPR, Nightline, 60 minutes. Heck, she's been on the cover of Time Magazine. My Inbox is jammed with blog posts and commentary about her book...and they keep on coming.

Do you know how many trees I have killed over the last decade writing articles about women who have said the same thing Sheryl is saying in her book? Sheryl's message to women about "leaning in" or putting your foot on the accelerator rather than letting fear about work life balance prevent you from going for the big job is not new one. She has just packaged it differently, given it a catchy title and timed the conversation well. Women are desperately trying to figure out why we haven't gotten further ahead in Corporate America and here's Sheryl ready to speak on behalf of working mothers. 

What's amazing to me is that the media can't get enough of Sheryl Sandberg. She's smart, she's well spoken, she's got clout as COO of Facebook and she has a point of view. 

 

A journalist colleague wrote me this email:

I'm listening to Sheryl Sandberg on NPR And thinking: Really? What the hell has changed in the last 30 years, if we're still talking about workplace inequality, childcare, glass ceilings, the imposter syndrome?

I'm in the process of clearing out my garage, and finding feminist workplace manifestos going back 24 years  to the late '70s. I'm reading them, listening to her, and I'm telling you, only the names have changed.

Every generation feels like they're the first to deal with whatever it is (workplace equality, motherhood, sex, child rearing) and they are so wrong. 

So now Sandberg has the media's attention and she's making the most of it. You may or may not agree with what she has to say about motherhood, work and advancement but you can't aruge that she hasn't used the media platform well. She has sparked a national conversation about women in the workplace and she's savvy enough to keep that fire lit as long as possible.

TIME’s deputy managing editor Nancy Gibbs asked Sheryl what surprised her about the first few days of her book launch.  "I’m surprised by how much attention and how early it has been,” Sheryl said, noting that the book had only officially come out that very morning. “That hasn’t stopped anyone from having an opinion of it,” Gibbs pointed out. “What I’m concerned about is stagnation and apathy, and if a heated debate around a book is what it takes to spark a conversation, then that’s great,” replied Sandberg.

If you ask me, Sheryl has leaned in and turned herself into a household name. Whether or not you agree with her message about the challenges women face in trying to get ahead, its hard not to see why Sandberg has risen.

Readers, what do you think of Sandberg and her media blitz? Is is she the leader of the next feminism revolution, a marketing genius or both? 

Women feel unappreciated at work. Here's how to change that.

                                            

I can't tell you how many times my husband has wanted or expected to be thanked for doing a chore I do on a regular basis. I am one of those women who at times feels underappreciated at home -- even as I try harder than ever to strike work life balance. 

American women now are experiencing that same feeling of being underappreciated in the workplace and it's time to do something about it.

The American Psychological Association reports that half of women (48 percent) feel less valued than men at work, and only 43 percent of women feel they receive adequate monetary compensation for their work (versus 48 percent of men). Moreover, only 35 percent of women think that they have opportunities for career advancement (versus 43 percent of men).

Our feeling that we're under valued in the workplace has some substance behind it. Did you know the average female makes an annual salary 25 percent less than her male colleagues?

This strong emotion of feeling that our contributions aren't appreciated may even be behind what's making us stressed -- the APA study found women report much more work stress than men, that their stress has increased over the last five years and that it causes headaches and upset stomachs.

Our big problem as women is that we tend to internalize the stress more than men. As Vivia Chen points out on her Careerist blog, "men have a fight or flight reaction" while women will "shut up and stay put."

If women are feeling undervalued at work, we should speak up. It may sound intimidating but it's probable that the men we work with or for have no idea we feel underappreciated.

John Gray, author of the soon to be released WORK WITH ME:  The Blind Spots between Men and Women in Business, found there's a big gender blindspot around feeling appreciated at work. When he asked men if they women they worked with felt appreciated, the majority answered yes. But when he asked the women they said no. Gray found the standard way of doling out recognition and praise can leave female employees feeling frustrated and overlooked. He also discovered most men are oblivious to the little gestures of consideration that make a huge difference to women.

Some also seem to be oblivious to the big gestures.

Yesterday, a large Miami law firm sent out a press release announcing that it has named 12 new partners. Of those, only three are women. I find this troublesome considering the majority of law grads and new associates these days are women. Do you think the women in that firm feel appreciated?

For many women, this fear of asking for the appreciation we deserve is a problem: we are great advocates for others, but paralyzed when it comes to doing it for ourselves. 

Going forward, we have to realize that men are not going to take it upon themselves to make us feel appreciated -- we have to shed our shut up and stay put attitude and ask for appreciation (in pay, advancement and assignments) if we deserve it.  

We've slowly begun to change expectations at home, to gain some more appreciation for our contributions. Now, we have to do the same in our workplaces.