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New Year's Resolutions On Track

Happy New Year...four days late!

We are off to a good start friends of Burnettiquette.

So far I have abided by my resolutions, which I selected this year based on things I'd like to do, not just things I think I can accomplish. Probably should've been using that standard in past years. After all, it's about the effort, right? So as part of my resolution revolution I've compiled a list of 20 mostly simple goals. I'm tired of plotting to be president, win the Mr. Olympia contest, split the atom, and become underwear model. For whatever strange reason, none of those things has happened for me yet.

But already this year, I have:

  1. managed to go shopping with Mrs. B two days in a row and not get demonstrably annoyed over her style of shopping (browse, browse, browse, consider buying, browse, browse, browse, think about it some more, browse, browse, browse, sleep on it and come back tomorrow to browse, browse, browse, then finally buy);
  2. lightened my humidor of only one cigar;
  3. run a short sprint in an end zone at Dolphins Stadium;
  4. stood up to a bully whose "power" source was nothing more than unearned wealth;
  5. scored a quality pair of jeans for the first time ever that were 100% comfortable from day one without me having to rough 'em up or wash 'em to soften 'em (I'm no label whore, but bravo Paper Denim & Cloth!);
  6. and made it to church on time without having to slink sheepishly past the disapproving ushers.

Still to come in 2009, I aim to:

  1. eliminate Dollar Weed from my lawn;
  2. begin a grassroots campaign to prove that it's much easier for different types of people to get along with one another when they're simply educated about differences, rather than forced in the name of political correctness to approve of every difference;
  3. figure out why the bamboo I'm trying to grow in the back yard isn't thriving;
  4. try a Yoga class;
  5. resume my Shotokan training with an eye toward reclaiming my black belt and adding a stripe to it;
  6. hold my first art gallery show for my painting;
  7. land a seven figure consulting gig, jointly paid by the Republican and Democratic national committees, so I can explain to the former why it can no longer blow off some ethnic minorities and remain viable, and explain to the latter why it can't take for granted that youth voters will stay with the Democratic Party just because they support the President-elect;
  8. launch five Web sites that I've been laboring over for a long time;
  9. hold a mini-promo tour for my first book (more on this later ;-)
  10. get my weight to 200 pounds even (I'm not fat! I'm 6-foot-3 and big boned!)
  11. wear a bow tie in public at least once a month;
  12. gently but firmly educate those friends and acquaintances who incorrectly think that depth of faith is best measured by religious denomination and that liberalism and conservatism can't exist outside the context of political parties;
  13. be even prettier than I was in '08;
  14. and become a certified, in demand Magic Negro.

Bonus resolutions:

  1. Pay my debts - all of 'em;
  2. Renew a couple of old friendships.


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ɔıuʎɔıʇsɐɔɹɐs ǝɥʇ

Hey, at least that beats my wife's method of shopping for clothing: browse, browse, browse, consider buying, browse, browse, browse, think about it some more, browse, browse, browse, sleep on it and come back tomorrow to browse, browse, browse, try on, then finally putting the item back on the shelf.

Jeni Hill Ertmer

Ok -dumb question here, I suppose, but what exactly is a "certified, in demand, magic negro" anyway?


I've been away too long... missed alot of good stuff. Computer problems were fixed with a new one the other day. Vacation took up a good week of time and that was incredible. Holidays are now over and I can start considering what I might like to think about doing, changing, getting better at, or letting go. But I think I need a soy cocoa to put me in the pondering mood.

I shop like Mrs. B. Hubs would gladly have a cigar with you if it would get him out of shopping. ;)

Happy New Year!


stood up to a bully MY HERO!!!


I didn't think it was possible for you to ever look better. But I do like most of your goals.

James B.

Sarc, your post had me trippin'. How in the hell did you do that upside down type for your name? That's crazy! And next time in your neck of Carolina, let's have our wives shop together. Maybe the combined energy of both their efforts will cause some sort of collapse in the shopping vortex and alter the course of the universe.

Jeni, it's a joke. You have to read the last post to get the joke. Or just go to Wikipedia and look up "Magic Negro." Then do a Google search of Magic Negro, Barack Obama, and the Republican National Committee, and it will all become clear. BTW, Happy New year!

Mary, here's to working computers and a Happy New Year! And if Mrs. B and I ever find ourselves in your neck of the woods I'll be sure to bring an extra cigar in case I have an opportunity to smoke one with your husband.

Pamela, I try. I'm not magic yet. But I'm working on it;-)

Monty, you flatter me;-), but I'm serious about these resolutions.

ɔıuʎɔıʇsɐɔɹɐs ǝɥʇ

C'mon, James, you're in the newspaper industry, and from what I've read, you're a pretty smart man (or a smart pretty man, whatever.) I'm sure there's someone in your department who can show you that little trick.


I wish you well in all of your New Year Resolutions. If anyone can do it you can. You are a first-class person and I salute you. May you, Mrs. B., and Dog B. have a fabulous year. All three of you have made the world a better place. (Im sure yours and Mrs. B's good qualities have rubbed off on Dog B.) All the best to you.

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