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Screens: TV the week of May 27

John Wayne marathon (12:15 a.m. Sunday, Encore Westerns) -- The most sacred tradition of Memorial Day -- that is, lying around all weekend like a slug watching various programming marathons until your eyeballs melt -- kicked off just after midnight this morning with the 1934 cowboy flick Randy Rides Alone. That began an orgy of John Wayne films that doesn't end until Wednesday at 2:20 a.m. when the documentary 100 Years Of John Wayne flickers across the screen. Along the way you can see everything from 1956's The Searchers to 1973's Cahill U.S. Marshal -- the latter seven times, just in case you wanted to memorize the script.

Jaws Jaws marathon (5 a.m. Monday, Starz) -- Remember the episode of Friends where Monica thought Chandler was addicted to "shark porn''? (If not, you really shouldn't be reading this blog.) Well, he would have had to break out the Viagra for this: Jaws, Jaws 2, Jaws III and Jaws: The Revenge airing three times apiece in 23 hours.

TV roadtrip marathon (6 a.m. Monday, TV Land) -- Episodes of I Love Lucy, The Munsters, Leave It To Beaver, Bonanza, The Andy Griffith Show, Green Acres and Sanford & Son in which the characters hit the road. See Ethel and Lucy visit Albuquerque! See Grandpa Munster turn into a wolf! See Arnold the Pig -- the four-legged Green Acres one, not the governor of California -- win a Hollywood contract! For those who prefer the more profound intellect of the cinema, the marathon wraps up at 6 p.m. with a screening of National Lampoon's Vacation.

M*A*S*H* marathon (8 a.m. Monday, Hallmark Channel) -- An annual event, Hallmark's M*A*S*H* Bash this year focuses on Cpl. Klinger, the hospital orderly who was perpetually trying to win a discharge from the Army in the pre-don't-ask-don't-tell era by dressing in drag. It's episodes over 12 hours, and you have to bring your own lingerie.


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It's true -- everytime I turned it on I saw Cahill again. Great movie, though -- whatever happened to Gary Grimes?

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