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Starz, Lindsay Lohan, and the 18-to-34-and-brain-dead demo

I_know_who_killed_me_2007_03I get some unusual pitches from TV networks trying to get me to write about their programming, but I've never seen anything quite like the press release Starz sent out about its airing of 2007's I Know Who Killed Me, in which small-town girl Lindsay Lohan is abducted and tortured. (Go ahead and say it: not nearly enough). It's a collection of critics' blurbs, but not exactly the kind you might expect:

"Gruesomely tawdry and inept." -- Entertainment Weekly.

"A disaster that exerts a perverse fascination." -- Variety.

"Bad is easy; this level of awful approaches the genius." -- Flick Filosopher.

"It's the kind of strangely fascinating terrible that can make for an entertaining time." -- eFilmCritic.com

"No review could really do justice to the monumental trashiness of this movie; it has to be seen to be believed." -- New York Daily News.

"Exquisite in its awfulness." -- Quad City Times.

"The film is so cheap, lurid and overwrought, it could be made up of lost reels from Grindhouse, except it lacks the knowing, self-referential humor of that B-movie parody." -- Minneapolis Star-Tribune.

Upon finishing the press released, I did two things. The first was to check to see what my Herald colleagues Rene Rodriguez and Connie Ogle wrote about I Know Who Killed Me, but as usual they were out watching 17-hour black-and-white Czech art movies that weekend.

The second was to set my TiVo. I mean, Lindsay Lohan, stripper poles, gruesomely tawdry and inept -- I've been waiting all my life for a movie like this. It airs at 9 p.m. Saturday. I expect the streets to be empty.

 

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Mr Boring

Normally I don't agree with you.. But You are right about the demographic.

I call it Job Security.

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