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'Melrose Place'! 'Seinfeld'! Except not!

Melroseplace It's months until Halloween, but out in Hollywood the dead are already climbing from their dusty graves to menace the living. The CW, not content with remaking old shows, has now announced it's going to start remaking spinoffs of old shows. The network has just given a green light to a pilot of a new version of Melrose Place, the twenty-somethings soap that was cloned from teenybopper drama Beverly Hills, 90210back in the 1990s. (Which, of course, was also remade by The CW this fall.) The first role has already been cast: Michael Rady, lately of the unwatchable CBS wife-swap drama Swingtown, will play a character named Jonah Miller, a young filmmaker who whores himself out by working as a videographer at weddings of the rich and swinish.

Senfeld NBC, which knows a bad idea when it sees one, is hauling out its own reanimated corpse: Jerry Seinfeld. But he's coming back not with a sitcom but a cheesy reality show, and he'll work behind the camera rather than in front. He's producing a new series called The Marriage Ref in which real couples will be filmed screaming at one another, the footage then reviewed by a "marriage ref" who will offer counseling and advice. I'm sure Seinfeld is already at work on the spinoff, a remake of Divorce Court.

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Jeff

"The Marriage Ref"? I don't think I could stand listening to married couples fight for hours on end. When I was an adolescent, my parents and I lived in an apartment building which must have had paper walls. We could hear our neighbors behind us arguing day and night. Even if Jerry Seinfeld is exec producing, I'm not sure he'll be able to stand it for very long. I'm predicting a short future for the show(not that there's anything wrong with that).

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