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Coming soon, 'The CBS Evening News With Bat Boy'

The World Weekly News, the space-alien-centric supermarket tabloid that Tommy Lee Jones' character in Batboy Men In Black called "best damn investigative reporting on the planet," has just gotten a Hollywood agent. No kidding -- the Hollywood Reporter says World Weekly News, which changed ownership last year, has just signed a deal with show-biz powerhouse CAA, and there's already a deal in the works for a TV show produced by DreamWorks.

This could be just the thing to revive American journalism. World Weekly News scoops have included the the discovery of Bat Boy ("half human and half bat!") in a West Virginia cave, rampaging Elvis clones, George Bush's secret plan to invade the moon, Saddam Hussein's career in gay porn, Hans Christian Andersen's cannibalism, and the fact that 12 U.S. senators were closet space aliens. ("I'm amazed it took you this long to find out," the story quoted Texas Republican Phil Gramm.) In a searing expose that I'm amazed Barney Frank hasn't cited in making his case for a government takeover of health care, the World Weekly News once reported how a surgeon with a ruthless eye on the bottom line re-attached a pair of Siamese twins when they didn't pay the bill for their separation.

In a possibly related development, a new Zogby Poll taken for the Animal Planet channel reveals that one in three Americans would like to see Bigfoot proven real, though 21 percent stubbornly held out for vampires and werewolves.


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