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Screen Gems: TV the week of March 28

V (10 p.m. Tuesday, ABC) -- They may look like Zsa Zsa Gabor in The Queen of Outer Space, but Vanna unfortunately the extraterrestrials of ABC's V -- returning after a four-month hiatus -- have appetites more along the lines of that drooling reptile who's always chasing Sigourney Weaver in the Alien movies.

Frontline: The Quake (10 p.m. Tuesday, WPBT-PBS 2) -- Everything you ever wanted to know about the earthquake that rocked Haiti on Jan. 12.

Little Chocolatiers (10 p.m. Tuesday, TLC) -- No. 1,097 in my I'm Not Making This Up file: a reality series about dwarf candymakers.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent (10 p.m. Tuesday, USA) -- Back for a ninth season. No, really, ninth. It just seems like ninety-ninth.

Fringe (9 p.m. Thursday, Fox) -- This tale of FBI agents who track invaders from a parallel world starts eight straight new episodes with a flashback to 1985. We may finally learn the origins of Madonna's obsession with conical boobs.

Beasts of the Bible (8 p.m. Thursday, Animal Planet) -- Combining the expertise of archaeologists and cryptozoologists with the nifty animation of CGI, this documentary tries to figure out whether Leviathan, the Behemoth and other biblical monsters existed, and what they may have looked like. Watch and enjoy, but don't take any apples from friendly serpents.

Miami Medical (10 p.m. Friday, CBS) -- Dripping brain matter! Punctured intestines! Placenta malfunctions you reallllly don't want to hear the details of! What would television do without South Florida? (Check back later today for more on Miami Medical.)

Note: Days and times for PBS shows are for the Miami area, and may differ elsewhere.

Let Miami Herald TV critic Glenn Garvin program your TiVo! Just click on his best bets for the week at www.tivo.com/guruguide.


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