Hello Magic City - Nice to see you again, or so I thought.
For the last month, I've been in the Southern Hemisphere playing drums for Blowfly at the world's biggest
pop music festival, which I am not going to mention by name - because a simple google search will reveal where new miami resident M-1 , Co MC of the greatest hip hop group ever Dead Prez who you may remember from their amazing performance on Chapelle's Block Party, but should really be remembered for having the gonads to lead off their major label record with a song called "Turn Off The Radio (Turn Off That (Bull*****t) performed with Coachella headliner Muse, Peaches, the greatest female dance music performer ever - who played with the amazing Sweet Machine as her backing band, who feature Saska, the hottest lead guitarist on earth. the otherworldly The Mars Volta cool bands I had never heard of before like LA's Devandra Banhart - who sound like a funkier steely dan and the dual metal mayhem of Atlanta sludge band gone psyche Mastodon and Fear Factory, who have always been great, but are now almost unreal because they now have Godhead drummer Gene Hoglan who is now officially better than Dave Lombardo ever was. In fact, he may be to metal, what Buddy Rich was to Jazz.
So in other words, I've been busy. But not as busy as the half-attractive, nasty blonde lady in a 5 year old mercedes E series, that decided to create her own lane on Granada blvd this afternoon. After riding all the way up my car to until she was with in inch or two of my 4 year old's car seat, she was ready to plow right through me. - that is until i rolled down the window and politely pointed out that i didnt want to hit her and i didnt want her to hit me. her response:
"Of COURSE I DONT WANT TO HIT YOU! LOOK AT YOUR CAR AND LOOK AT MINE!" and then that surly jerk turned south on useless 1 where I hope a seagull gave her windshield a makeover.
Dear "lady" I was actually borrowing my ex-father in law's 1999 Saturn. until very recently, I drove a near-mint 1989 Mercedes 300 SE every day. That car, unlike that piece of crap you drive, actually looks how a mercedes is supposed to look instead of a honda. Get over yourself. And seriously miami, with the tragedy in Haiti - isn't it time we all got over ourselves and helped people instead of pulling needless nonsense like that?
Allow me to quote a film by Adam Sandler:
"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
Posted by: Honest Abe | 02/09/2010 at 10:49 AM
Honest Abe, allow me counter your weak haterade with a quote from a comedian who is much funnier than that NYU dorm room hack you quoted. The following quote is from my dear friend late, great Rudy Ray Moore - the actor also known as "Dolemite." The following was the closing joke he used in his act for 30 years.
" Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you all for attending tonight's show. And If anything I have said tonight has offended you ...From the bottom of my heart: F_____ -YOU!"
Posted by: Bowker | 02/10/2010 at 01:30 AM
If there is anything that offends me, it's this: The newspaper I've read my whole life in the city that I love has been slowly venturing out into the blogoshpere, which is not an easy thing to do for old media. It appears two of the music writers put forth a genuine effort, while one comes along once a week - slams the keyboard with his forehead a few times, then hits 'post.'
I'm not necessarily a fan of the type of music I imagine they pay you to blog about. But I feel bad for the people who are, and come here looking for insight. This blog is USELESS 100% of the time.
Posted by: Honest Abe | 02/10/2010 at 11:31 AM
Perhaps you'd be better off commenting on the features I write for the print edition for the saturday tropical life section. then you could write weak criticism about that instead.
Posted by: Bowker | 02/28/2010 at 04:19 AM
Somehow the author of this horribly written article used my brand in the article and so now it shows up in search engines ... may as well add my links http://miamitom.com - http://mimiandthebeaches.com - http://miamitom.net
Posted by: MiamiTom | 06/21/2011 at 07:35 PM