Miami Music Matters

Start 2011 Off Right: Read Keith Richards' "Life."

 

Happy New Year!

I've spent the last three days wrapped around Rolling Stones' guitarist Keith Richards'  massive tome "Life." While the sheer size of the book might seem daunting to some, reading "Life" is not unlike listening to your most adventurous friend reveal their exploits at a great cocktail party. And whenever  you think one tale might be too outrageous to be believed, Richards has testimonials backing his account / offering an opposing view from fellow musicians, partners in crime, supermodels, managers and family members. Pretty much everyone save for his core band members.

Much of the hubbub surrounding the release of "Life" has been focused on Mick Jagger's hissy fit about the Stones' dirty laundry being aired in public. But even the most casual rock music listener knows  Jagger and Richards haven't gotten along for decades, an animosity Richards attributes to the ego trip universally known in the music world as: LVS (Lead Vocalist Syndrome).

While Richards lays out an excellent case, it's not hard to see how Jagger got a swelled head from Richards' attitude towards Jagger in the 70s, which Richards sums up as: "you  pick up the slack, I'll pick up the smack."  While not an insufferable jerk on dope, Richards paints a self-portrait of a man who let his chemical monkey run his life over a long period of time. He struggled with nonstop hassles by the man, which made the band employ a legion of legal beagles around the world.  He had to relocate constantly around the world. And perhaps Richards' most difficult challenge: his fifteen years in a dope-fueled, tempestuous  relationship with  baby mama Anita Pallenberg.

But unlike the "dope is bad mmkay" toxic shock of Niki Sixx's "The Heroin Diaries" - Richards' "Life" delves into the music and social changes that he helped popularize around the world. Richards gives deference to his musical heroes, and instead of just dropping their names and ripping off their licks - he took them on the road, invited them to his homes and gave them new life. It's inspirational to see a man who has been everyplace and seen it all - that is not bitter.  Richards is a benevolent pirate.  He may be a simple troubadour with more money than God - but is grounded enough to take family winnebago trips to Oklahoma City.

There's no reason for anyone to go to Oklahoma City. But if  Keith Richards'  life has room for the banal, your relatively  banal life has room for Keith Richards' "Life."

Avoid NYE Musical $675 Ripoffs. Instead, Hit The Vagabond for 10 Dolla No Holla Party Starring: The State Of

Back in the stoned age, when we still had a music industry, it made sense for acts to charge a bit more for NYE gigs.  Your butt was going out because your girl/guy/other wasn't gonna let you sit home and watch Dick Clark's ghost count down in the blizzard.

But as music has been devalued to the point where 200,000 -3000,000 records sold can buy you a  #1 record, it is amazing that people are willing to spend a whopping $500 to see Drake croon poolside at the W hotel - and not even get into the afterparty without dropping another $175! For $675, Drake should give you a table dance and send some of his groupies home with you to wash your windows and do your dishes.

So rather than spend your kid's college fund, the vagabond has nipped the excesses in the bud and for the low, low price of $10, you can buy advance tickets here for a party that will be just as good as any overpriced party featuring C list celebs, Porn Stars, Playboy Bunnies, or superstar DJs pretending to spin instead of hitting "return" on their laptops.

Headlining the Vagabond's NYE party is female synth pop duo The State Of, who have charmed their way through the music scene over the past year with harmonies and hooks worthy of an international hipster breakthrough. So instead of catching someone on the backside of their career for $200 (Like Fatboy Slim for instance), you can save your Benjamins and spend it on booze and a limo like Baby New Year intended.

 

 

Arty Noise Homeboy Bill Orcutt Comes Home For The Holidays, Unplugs At Sweat Records Tuesday Night

17 years ago or so, I was in the middle of a crush of teenagers at Bayfront Park, in the middle of a Nirvana concert when Kurt Cobain took the time to plug: "There's a band called Harry Pu--y  playing Churchill's tonight." The audience screamed in delight, and a few alt rockers behind me started discussing the merits of Rat Bastard's favorite noise band.

A few months earlier Rat had passed an untitled single to Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth favorite band -who in turn had hipped Cobain, as he was his A&R guy. The next thing you knew, Lou Barlow and  every other indie rocker worth their weight in limburger was singing the praises of a miami noise rock trio fronted by Alliance theater founder Bill Orcutt who played a 4-string guitar, and his wife Adrias Hoyas - who never bothered keeping a beat on her drums, preferring to attack them like Miss Piggy.

Orcutt and Hoyas were very prolific in their 5 year career, and managing a dozen or so releases and several US tours despite  their local fan base being restricted to Rat and his 40 or so friends that habituated Churchill's on "Beautiful Noise" Thursdays.

When HP broke up in 1997, Orcutt soon cut his ties to the Alliance and bailed to the west coast, working as a consultant to Ebay and not giving his music career much thought. But if there's one thing that middle aged artistes won't let go, it's the need to have the kids think you're important - and after a decade-plus of hipsters name checking HP like evangelicals - Orcutt picked up an atonal 4-string guitar, tuned it low so he wouldn't snap the neck  and began recording frantic, noisy, bizarre, alleged acoustic "blues" numbers that sound all the world like Bob Log III minus the motorcycle helmet microphone, kick drums and boob scotches.

The art music world has scooped it up with both hands. The internet is littered with huzzahs from Pitchfork, WFMU and their ilk. Tuesday night at Sweat Records, you can see what all the fuss is about for free. Rat bastard and his cast of minions open the show.

 

KCC Productions Hosts Christmas Party Jazz Jam Tonight @ The Van Dyke

For the last seven years, Kim Chmura and her KCC productions have breathed life into an otherwise moribund local jazz scene.  Save for Mike Wood's laudable monday night jazz series at Churchill's nothing was going on until Chmura moved down from Massachusetts and commenced CPR, one club, one artist, one ensemble at a time.

Nowadays Chmura has a roster of recognizable talent and produces gigs for cities and museums, but tonight she is going back to her roots and doing what she does bests: hosting a  "professional" jazz jam. One can expect her entire family of artists to show up to get down, along with: musical snowbirds / folks visiting their parents / ringers who want to drink for free.

And honestly, does one need more motivation to throw down at a holiday party than the prospect of free drinks?  So get thyself to lincoln road tonight and watch holiday spirits get shaken and stirred in the key of C(hristmas).

Erick Lyle (The Artist Formerly Known As Iggy Scam) Reads Tonight At Sweat Records

In 1991, I met a pair of characters/partners in crime on South Beach who called themselves "Chuck Loose" and "Iggy Scam." They had embraced the "gutter punk" aesthetic described in the punk rock fanzine "Maximum Rock & Roll to the extent where they spent their waking hours figuring out ways to: eat without spending money (dumpster diving for pizza and donuts), play music without learning how to play (their germs-inspired punk band Chickenhead) and book shows without a club (convincing the punk rock dive The Junkyard to let them have the club rent-free).

After a year or so of these hijinks, Scam graduated to art without a gallery (The Vandalism Art Project) and self-publishing a handwritten fanzine called SCAM, which chronicled his lifestyle/career/art. Back then, you were either with Scam, or against Scam. If you were in a local punk band and dared to charge $5  instead of $3, or nothing - you were labelled a "corporate sellout." This was compounded if you played clubs that wouldn't book Chickenhead.

But to his credit, Scam managed to carve a no-rent version of Andy Warhol's factory out of a tightly-knit  sect of bands and scenesters. In "SCAM: The First Four Issues," the anthology that Scam (who now goes by his given name, Erick Lyle) wil be reading from tonight at Sweat Records, he recounts recruiting friends and minions, some with real jobs and lives, to serve as "billboard liberation" co-conspirators. Much like Sub Pop's con of NME in the late 80s, where they flew in a press junket to report on a "scene" that barely existed and laid the foundation for Nirvana; Scam and Loose breathlessly reported their exploits in Maximum Rock & Roll "scene reports" and made enough waves/connections to get Chickenhead a US tour.

After Chickenhead broke up, Loose went on to form the Crumbs, and the punk rock collective Garageland before hitting his stride as arguably the most successful  graphic artist in South Florida. His clients have included Seagrams and Trac Fone.

Scam/Lyle followed his heart to San Francisco and immersed himself in the fleabag motels and punk rock squats he had emulated in the Magic City. Many of his friends joined him, and formed their own miami ex-pat scene.  Scam/Lyle continued writing, and as the punk zine scene faded - Scam became less of a punk music zine, and more of a kulture kamph against urban development and gentrification.

If recent podcasts are any indication, in addition to walks down dumpster dive alley, tonight's 8PM "Scam: The First Four Issues" reading at Sweat Records will likely include Lyle's take on Art Basel and an explanation as to why he loves and hates Miami equally.  If we're lucky, someone will bring a guitar, a bottle of robitussin, a flask of md 20/20 and some no-doze to convince Lyle to play a Flipper cover while Loose reenacts the chest-hair inferno of 1992.

Local Album Of The Year (drum roll) Torche: Songs For Singles

It's been quite a year for Torche frontman Steve Brooks.  After a 7 year hiatus, he reformed his iconic sludge band Floor in order to celebrate "Below & Beyond:" an insanely comprehensive 10 Lp /8CD /1 45 box set. Floor, who were lucky to get 100 people to watch them in their prime, found themselves playing at Austin's fun fun fun fest in front of thousands.

In May, Brooks and his bandmates in Torche were the victims of a post-show robbery outside of the Congress Theater in Chicago. Torche lost two guitars, and enough gear to force them to miss a Canadian leg of their tour with Coheed & Cambria. Adding further to Torche's 2010's Spinal Tappery was a brief forced exile in the UK thanks to a lost passport.

On the bright side, Torche made their US television debut on Fox News' Redeye program, which somehow emboldened family values ex-presidential candidate Mike Huckabee into singing Torche's gay heavy metal praises to a red state audience.

But while 2010 had more ups and downs for Brooks than a manic depressive on a carnival ride, the sonic pinnacle of 2010 in both Miami music and his career was Torche's mini-album: Songs For Singles. Clocking in at just over 21 minutes, the 8 song disc puts Brooks' bomb string madness in the background and instead focuses on his love of 80s and early 90s shoegaze, run through a punk rock filter. If you turned the volume down a little, and took away  "Lay Low," a 1-minute metal wonder that boxes your ears in like Marvin Hagler - and "Hideaway" which reminds me of the fabulous moment in time when Helmet and Jawbox did their best to sound like each other - the rest of the record is so pop friendly that it would have easily fit in on the 4AD label.

Even the most dedicated Floor/Torche fans are probably unaware of Brooks and Floor mate Anthony Vialon's side project, The Basils- who lasted for just a few shows in the mid 1990s. The Basils were shockingly tuneful compared to Floor, who at the time were doing their best to sound like an elephant stampede. But in retrospect, The Basils were Brooks' coming out party as a lover of melody. It snuck in Floor's amazing 2002 self-titled album, the push and pull between impossibly heavy and insanely catchy making it an instant classic.

And to be certain, it is Brooks' gift for melody that separates Torche from the doom herd.  Because although Brooks does "heavy" better than anyone not named King Buzzo - any talented grizzly bear with decent taste can drop the top string and make a stab at doom metal.  It takes real fortitude to make pop music for people who will hate you for not bashing them with brute force.

 

 

 

The Flat Tires Are Payin' Dues Again Tonight At The Monterey Club

When you hail from a cultural backwater like Hickory, North Carolina - you have to learn from your neighbors in the big city. Fortunately for southern fried punk band the Flat Tires, destructo rock kings  Antiseen happen to live 100 miles down the road in Charlotte. Over the last decade or so, Antiseen have taken the tires under their wing - playing bills with them in both Hickory and at the Milestone - aka the CBGBs of the southeast.

While the Flat Tires are more motor oil than Motorhead, they have managed to fuse the destructo teachings of Antiseen (thanking them by donating drummer Phil Keller in 2008) with the current greaser punk scene into an uncompromising sound that kicks the snot out of 90% of what passes for "hard" music these days.  They are the perfect band for The Monterey Club, and if called upon, could probably change out the engine in your car in between sound check and stage time. Faster, if you cracked open a case of PBR to help them concentrate.

The Flat Tires hit the stage around 11pm tonight. Ticket price is $10. The Monterey Club is on the SE Corner of State Rd 84 and US1, next to Gold Coast Roller rink.

 

Joan Jett & The Blackhearts Rock The Magic City Casino Saturday Night

 For most of the 1970s, local concert promoting legend Leas Campbell hosted acts at  Miami Jai Alai - which was also the after work hangout for many of the TK records staff. Everyone from Parliament-Funkadelic to KC & The Sunshine Band laid it down on the wooden fronton.

Now another western airport corridor gambling establishment, The Magic City Casino (nee Flagler dog Track),has thrown their hat in the entertainment ring.  And instead of kicking off their outdoor concert season with regular casino fare like their January entries Air Suppy and America - they are hosting punk/glam queen Joan Jett  and her "Bad Reputation."

Sure, Jett is best known for her cover of the Arrow's "I Love Rock & Roll,"  but her career is on an uptick these days, thanks to the self-titled biopic on her teenage punk band The Runaways. A holiday purchase of the DVD reveals that Jett has been ahead of her time since she turned stalking Suzi Quatro into a look and sound that girls weren't supposed take part in. It wasn't ladylike to throw a ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb into the face of the music establishment in the 1970s and early 1980s. But Jett did, and was rewarded handsomely when "I Love Rock & Roll" was #1 for eight straight weeks, after 23 major record labels passed on her. This allowed her to control her own masters, and put a lot more money in her leather-studded pockets. That was even more groundbreaking than her look and style.

Jett became both an inspiration and an impresario to the 90s riot grrl scene, and now revels in her role as the "Godmother of Punk." Pay tribute to her, by purchasing a ticket on Saturday. They range from $15 for the rear dog track bleachers to $100 to catch the "light of day" from Jett's axe. 

 

Blue Eyed Soul is on the Menu for Huey Lewis Tonight at Seminole Hard Rock Casino

Considering his career-defining hit is entitled "Hip To Be  Square," it's hard to imagine that 80s MTV heartthrob/sports bar rocker Huey Lewis could ever be associated with anything remotely cool. But for the first time since American Psycho's faux serial killer protagonist Patrick Bateman gave a favorable critical soliloquy of Lewis' Sports Lp, Lewis is indeed more hip than square.

Soulsville, Huey Lewis & The News' first album since 2001, is a loving tribute to legendary Memphis soul music label Stax aka "Soulsville USA."  While the blue-eyed soul leanings of Lewis' music can be found even in his cheesiest work like "Stuck With You" and "Power Of Love" - Lewis comes by it honestly, having spent years in the trenches of the SF funk/soul scene, before moving to England in the early 70s and grinding it out in UK's pub-rock scene aside the likes of Elvis Costello, who used his then-band on his classic debut album My Aim Is True.

Costello is famous for reinterpreting blue-eyed soul tunes like "Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" - but three decades later, Lewis has trumped him by going directly to the source. Lewis' smokey low tenor may not stand up to the vocal talents of Solomon Burke or Otis Redding - but he's not trying to out do what cannot be outdone - he's merely singing their praises and exposing some of their minor hits that deserved a wider audience. Solomon may have died on an airplane ride to Holland earlier this year, but thanks to Huey -he is living on - one casino gig at a time.

Sure, the accountants, FBLA alumni, lawyers and sports bar dwellers who will populate Seminole Hard Rock tonight could care less about Joe Tex or  the rest of the Stax family. They want the hits. Surely Lewis and the latest edition of the News will provide them. But they will get several apples in their musical happy meal tonight.  Lord knows they need the roughage.

Huey Lewis & The News perform tonight at 8pm at the Hollywood Seminole Hard Rock Casino, It is located at 1 Seminole Way, Hollywood, Fl. Tickets are: $54, $69 and $84. For more information call: 866-502-PLAY

 

Oran Etkin Proves Children's Music Doesn't Have To Give Mom & Dad The Blues

Even in the 21st century's so-called children's music renaissance, where decorated musicians of all stripes find themselves catering to the under-7 set in order to make a living wage, the sad fact of the matter is that a good deal of modern kid music isn't that good. Most of the melodies are straight out of the same Barney The Purple Dinosaur/traditional kiddie music ghetto they are purporting to rescue kids (and parental ears) from. Furthermore, no matter how hard most adult musicians try, it's difficult for them not to talk down, rather than to, younger listeners.

One exception, is the amazing jazz clarinetist Oran Etkin, founder of the Timbalooloo music school favored by NY celebrity parents. In the short half-hour that makes up Etkin's latest CD, "Wake Up Clarinet,"  Etkin and his charming vocal foil Charenee Wade play call-and-response in ways the dreary old classical kids chestnut "Peter & The Wolf" could only dream of.

The clarinet talks to Etkin, Wade and the audience, evoking Steve Vai's talking guitar gimmick when he played with David Lee Roth in the 80s. But instead of encouraging teenagers to partake in warm miller lite rebellion, Etkin and Wade use the talking clarinet to swing through basic music theory in a light hearted, conversational way that never ceases to entertain. My test subject / 5 year old daughter can't stop dancing when this disc is on. She even picked up a couple of French phrases during  Etkin's  version of the Dixieland standard, "Eh La Bas."

"Wake Up Clarinet" is the musical equivalent of a perfectly ripe pear: sweet enough to delight the taste buds of even the pickiest princess, but nutritious enough to happily put in her lunch box. 

Parental units, only you can break the cycle of dreary kids music. If you don't want Hannah Montana and her ilk breaking into your stereo in five years, a holiday gifting of "Wake Up Clarinet" is an excellent preventive measure.

For more info on Oran Etkin, visit his website: www.timbalooloo.com