From Miami Herald columnist Dave Barry:
CARROLL, Iowa -- I swear I had no intention of involving Jeb Bush in the legal problem involving my sod.
Before I get into that, I should explain that Carroll is the site of the Greasewood Flats Club, where Bush held a rally. To get there, you leave Des Moines and drive straight for 17,000 miles, then make a right turn and go straight for another 17,000 miles, and it’s on your left. It’s a long haul, but en route you pass many fascinating sights, assuming you are fascinated by vast featureless sectors of frozen agriculture.
The Greasewood Flats Club was filled with the usual crowd of Iowans saying “excuse me” a lot and offering each other their seats. They are incredibly polite, these Iowans. If they ever come to Miami they will wind up naked in the gutter.
When Bush arrived he got a polite welcome and went into his pitch, which is that he is a Proven Leader who will provide Leadership by Leading. He then answered a bunch of polite questions, giving thoughtful responses but sometimes drifting too deeply into details, like a man reciting the tax code. This tendency toward wonkishness is Bush’s biggest weakness as a campaigner, although it could be useful in a medical emergency:
ANESTHESIOLOGIST: The gas isn’t working! The patient isn’t losing consciousness!
SURGEON: Quick! Get Jeb Bush in here to explain his five-point plan for stabilizing Medicare finances!
PATIENT: No! Just kill me!
Photo credit: Jordan J. Frasier, courtesy NBC News