Does your boss yell?
I have worked for a yeller. My friend currently works for a yeller. It's awful and if you let the screaming get to you, it likely will make you hate your job.
Here's what might be going on: 82% of those selected for management roles don’t have the competence to effectively execute their role, according to a report on Fox News. Given these disturbing facts it’s no wonder new manager’s get frustrated -- and yell!
But for those of us on the other side of the screaming, it can be stressful and upsetting. It can make us start to dislike a job that we otherwise would enjoy. It can mess with our work life balance because we take that stress home -- and even take it out on the people around us.
Michael Woodward, also known as Dr. Woody, is certified executive coach trained in organizational psychology. Dr. Woody also sits on the advisory board of the Florida International University (FIU) Center for Leadership. He offered these tips for how to cope. I added one of my own.
Don’t Take it Personally: Often these yelling boss doesn’t intend their rants to be taken personally. They are likely reacting out of frustration and may not even be aware of how damaging their behavior to morale. Even in those cases where the yelling boss does get personal, the best thing to do is pull yourself back and focus on the facts. Use evidence as your guide and try to keep emotion out of it. Consider what you did well and what you can do better.
Never Take the Bait: Never match the tone and tenor of a yelling boss as this will only result in an unhealthy escalation. Once you take the bait you lose you effectively give your power away by acknowledging the rationale of their tone. The best thing you can do is stay calm and just let them burn themselves out! (Cindy's note: I've tried this approach. It works!)
Seek Out Guidance: If the yelling boss can’t actually answer the question of “what do you want me to do?” they aren’t managing, they are just venting frustration. In this case, wait until the dust settles and then seek them out to get some direction on what they actually want you to do in moving forward. Before you approach him or her, be sure to have some ideas on what you can do to make-up for whatever real or imagined problem that caused the situation.
Don't Put Up with Personal Insults: It's one thing for a boss to scream about an action or behavior, it's another to dish out a personal insult. "You're a moron" is a hurtful statement. When the boss calms down, make it clear that constructive criticism with a clear direction for how to do something better is okay, a put down on a personal level is not.
As Dr. Woody notes: At the end of the day people leave bosses not jobs.If you find yourself the victim of a yelling boss, do your best to not take it personally, be sure to avoid getting drawn in, and find a way to ask for positive direction in moving forward.
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